Was going through my son's mobile phone as I do often to check his browsing history and youtube history to make sure he is not doing anything nasty.
checked his whatsapp messages and found he a chat with a girl in his class. In the chat, this knuckle head boy is expressing his feelings for girl

he is saying things like:
'I have feelings for you'
'I would do anything if you be my girlfriend'
'do you say 'yes'?'
'please dont tell anyone in class, please!'

the girl goes: are you serious or just joking?

My son: 'Iam very serious, I would do anything if you become my girlfriend'

the girl goes: 'since when did you start liking me'

my son: 'since year 5. so is that yes or no?

the girl goes: I will tell you when we get to school on wednesday
-------------
I haven't spoken to my son about this yet. I'm waiting to see how the conversation goes, will sneak and check again next week if they have continued the conversation.

this girl is also 11, and she seems decent, I just don't want to boy to be heartbroken if in case she says no.

I will talk with him about it, just don't know which angle to approach it from. He seems too desperate it in the chat messages, and it's almost like he is begging. Need to teach this boy how to approach girls like a boss ;-)

I told his mum, and she was just laughing, she said it's a father-son conversation, I should leave her out of it.

Any parents out there who have had similar experiences with son/daughter who can give some advice will be well appreciated.

A progressive dad indeed?!

Instead of you to call the small boy and flog his nyash silly and then correct him later, you are there encouraging pre-teenage sex

I remember I lost my virginity at Uniben in my 300L

This life sef Why should an 11year old boy have a fone let alone an Internet enabled fone??!!

You claim you check his browsing history regularly, do you think no boy in his click at school already knows about deleting browsing history after watching Porn?!

Awwww, hope he succeeds though

>

just draw him closer to God, It is delusion to think you can stop him, i started about that age.

softwerk:
A progressive dad indeed?!

Instead of you to call the small boy and flog his nyash silly and then correct him later, you are there encouraging pre-teenage sex

I remember I lost my virginity at Uniben in my 300L

This life sef

300L?!!
my guy you try ooo. so na you and vaseline be best friends from your teenage years till 300L??

anyway, thanks for your advice. but if you flog kids for that, they will hide everything from you and it you even know anything till they get belle or give person belle

Lol

11?? My father then would had flogged the crushing out, and the schooling into my young life.


A maschimo approach would help as you could show him his desperation isnt advisable as the man he is and aside his approach,the timing isnt just right and then make him see he's still young and has a promising future ahead cause time is all he has...show him what his concerns for the moment are,where his focus should be and his priorities lie...#first make the income son and the chicks will come

The success of the talk with him depends entirely on how you'll carry yourself and relate it to him whichever approach you use ...just dont let it backfire as he might not be quick to trust you for prying on his phone and all....anyways,goodluck to you and best wishes for your son.

I like your approach Op, thats the part i will follow when i have mine too. However, becareful on how progressive u appear. I await comments from married folks, am still preparing myself for marriage.

"when did you start liking me? "

typical

@op if you don't need a pregnant 14yr old in your family,you'll start taking this seriously

ovaRAYted:
Lol

11?? My father then would had flogged the crushing out, and the schooling into my young life.


A maschimo approach would help as you could show him his desperation isnt advisable as the man he is and aside his approach,the timing isnt just right and then make him see he's still young and has a promising future ahead cause time is all he has...show him what his concerns for the moment are,where his focus should be and his priorities lie...#first make the income son and the chicks will come

The success of the talk with him depends entirely on how you'll carry yourself and relate it to him whichever approach you use ...just dont let it backfire as he might not be quick to trust you for prying on his phone and all....anyways,goodluck to you and best wishes for your son.

Dude, I do like your advice. Will just have to be calm with him and not come across as if I'm angry. I'm very close to him, I'm very strict when I need to be, but we joke and play all the time so that's not going to be a problem.

I agree with you, will just need him to realize that even though the feelings he thinks he has are alright, he should avoid the distractions, focus on becoming a man and making that paper, and he will be chasing chics away with a stick.

lilmax:
"when did you start liking me? "

typical

@op if you don't need a pregnant 14yr old in your family,you'll start taking this seriously

oh boy na wetin I dey fear be that ooo

the way these kids of nowadays dey mature early is scary

IdiAmin2:

Nice...best of luck

Sorry to say, that Softwerk guy is too African, I don't want to use the term BACKWARD.

Op, you doing the very right thing. Most informed parents clamour for sex education to be taught early enough and I see this op in that direction but this traditional softwerk guy is just being African.

Here's what I suggest Op,

Encourage your son to take things easy, one step at time and make him know the limit to which he can draw the line between mere crush, relationship and Sex just so he doesn't mistake one for the other and end up ruining his future. Be a guide instead of a disciplinarian like that softwerk guy is insinuating. When you truly be his guide, he wouldn't be afraid or ashame to tell you everything. And Sex education would be very easy to explain to him since you both are on same page already.

You a great dad, just treat you son like you friend. They say train a child not rare him like how Softwerk is trying to tell us how got rared.

Loool,

Lemme not say what's on my mind.

11year old abi ? Its alright .

I remember when I was young, mine was much earlier, like when I was 9 or thereabout, there was this boy in my class that was always clean, with a nice hair cut, gentle, with a pretty mom. I began crushing on him and one day I asked my mom, in the presence of my dad "if it would be possible to marry one's class mate from primary school?" They asked to know my reason for the question and I told them about the boy, that I liked him; that was about the first worst mistake of my life, they burst into laughter and began calling me by the boy's name and would occasionally ask after my "love". Eventually, I went to another school, the "crushing" fizzled out and all. As a result, I closed my mouth and decided to keep my feelings to myself.
They still taunted me with his name a day before my wedding.

Why did I type that? Your approach on this issue will determine whether he will raise his guard or lower it with you as regards trust.
I don't know what kind of father to son activities you engage in, but maybe in one of such activities, albeit a relaxing one, tell him about your childhood, the friends you had, both male and female; those you felt strongly about, how they reciprocated; still male and female and then narrow it down to females, tell him about your first crush, your feelings then, how you went about it, how you sort of outgrew it and all. Then carefully let him talk about his own life outside of the house, his friends, any member of the opposite sex he is having feelings for, pretend like you didn't have prior knowledge, if he opens up ask to know if he has made his feelings known to her, her reaction and all. Then try to make him comfortable and that him having such feelings at this stage is not out of place. Let him know that there are many years ahead for him to validate his feelings for her, based on observation, or discredit the feelings as events unfold. Other people will be met, environments will change, self discovery will set in, personal values will develop.
He should not be in a hurry, they should remain friends and see what happens next.

All these should be done with cognisance of sex education and self discipline already put in place.

Best of luck.

In as much as I like your Montessori method of training I still feel that at his age u need to set boundaries for him.

I mean internet teaches both d good n bad stuff for dis u can get a phone with no internet ability for him after all he is still a child not even a teen yet, teenage begins from age 13.

Talk to him about it n express your displeasure for his action in a way he will feel u but still have ur respect, get him grounded n explain d reasons for it. Sex education is very necessary at dis point n explain in clarity d consequences of indulging in a relationship at his age.

-

You better collect that phone from him asap and give him Nokia torchlight phone of 3000 naira

I don't get how a parent can buy a phone for an adolescent to unrestricted acess to any site on the internet

Wait until you become a grandfather before your time.when they bring one smallie With big belle claiming your son is responsible You will know what's up

That's when you'll know an 11 years old too can make a baby

Be Very stern.no sme sme.

-

softwerk:
A progressive dad indeed?!

Instead of you to call the small boy and flog his nyash silly and then correct him later, you are there encouraging pre-teenage sex

I remember I lost my virginity at Uniben in my 300L

This life sef Why should an 11year old boy have a fone let alone an Internet enabled fone??!!

You claim you check his browsing history regularly, do you think no boy in his click at school already knows about deleting browsing history after watching Porn?!

. And his smiling abt it.

softwerk:
A progressive dad indeed?!

Instead of you to call the small boy and flog his nyash silly and then correct him later, you are there encouraging pre-teenage sex

I remember I lost my virginity at Uniben in my 300L

This life sef Why should an 11year old boy have a fone let alone an Internet enabled fone??!!

You claim you check his browsing history regularly, do you think no boy in his click at school already knows about deleting browsing history after watching Porn?!

. And his smiling abt it. .

Who bought him the phone and who pays for data? Please carry your load and stop disturbing our peace or are you not a full grown adult?

Simple solution to this issue is to prepare another room in your house because you might soon be a grandfather.

He is too young to have a girlfriend biko.

An 11 year old is way too young to be thinking of having a crush or whatever you call it (I dey vex ). Why would you give an 11 year old a phone that has internet access on it? Don’t get your 11 year old into trouble with this internet enabled phone you’ve given him. An 11 year old should focus on his books and stay away from girls for now. What would he do when he reaches his teenage years ? Explain to him that he is way too young for that kind of stuff. Please get ride of that phone as the pikin dey to young to get phone with internet on it. No say dem no warn you o .

I trust @realdonaldtrump to sort this out. I'm just in tears and great pity for the future generation

aaronson:
Sorry to say, that Softwerk guy is too African, I don't want to use the term BACKWARD.

Op, you doing the very right thing. Most informed parents clamour for sex education to be taught early enough and I see this op in that direction but this traditional softwerk guy is just being African.

Here's what I suggest Op,

Encourage your son to take things easy, one step at time and make him know the limit to which he can draw the line between mere crush, relationship and Sex just so he doesn't mistake one for the other and end up ruining his future. Be a guide instead of a disciplinarian like that softwerk guy is insinuating. When you truly be his guide, he wouldn't be afraid or ashame to tell you everything. And Sex education would be very easy to explain to him since you both are on same page already.

You a great dad, just treat you son like you friend. They say train a child not rare him like how Softwerk is trying to tell us how got rared.

softwerk:
A progressive dad indeed?!

Instead of you to call the small boy and flog his nyash silly and then correct him later, you are there encouraging pre-teenage sex

I remember I lost my virginity at Uniben in my 300L

This life sef Why should an 11year old boy have a fone let alone an Internet enabled fone??!!

You claim you check his browsing history regularly, do you think no boy in his click at school already knows about deleting browsing history after watching Porn?!

Then explain why kids of the whites who are way more advancd than us have access to laptops,phones,tablets etc?

NevetsIbot:
Then explain why kids of the whites who are way more advancd than us have access to laptops,phones,tablets etc?

Western version of advancement is what you are clamoring for yet they fail woefully in terms of morality and promoting good societal values. If the OP wants an advanced child he should feel free to even give him I-phone with enough data but he should prepare to accommodate a lot of baby mama dramas and much more

Pidgin2:


Western version of advancement is what you are clamoring for yet they fail woefully in terms of morality and promoting good societal values. If the OP wants an advanced child he should feel free to even give him I-phone with enough data but he should prepare to accommodate a lot of baby mama dramas and much more

you know what? Wait till ya son leaves sec school before you let him watch tv and use a 3310... Sheybi they're bad

Pidgin2:


Western version of advancement is what you are clamoring for yet they fail woefully in terms of morality and promoting good societal values. If the OP wants an advanced child he should feel free to even give him I-phone with enough data but he should prepare to accommodate a lot of baby mama dramas and much more

@ bolded... U don't know what u are talking abt. With all d loudmouth kids on nairaland, nigeria's no better. Western kids are smarter with technology, science n much more and r more advanced than naija kids in general.

aflyingbird:
@ bolded... U don't know what u are talking abt. With all d loudmouth kids on nairaland, nigeria's no better. Western kids are smarter with technology, science n much more and r more advanced than naija kids in general.

You're here again spewing your usual narrow minded puerile vibes, right?

Western kids are more advanced than naija kids in what regard?

Don't bother answering, you've already shown you're narrow minded.

TheeDetective:
[b]An 11 year old is way too young to be thinking of having a crush or whatever you call it[/b] (I dey vex ). Why would you give an 11 year old a phone that has internet access on it? Don’t get your 11 year old into trouble with this internet enabled phone you’ve given him. An 11 year old should focus on his books and stay away from girls for now. What would he do when he reaches his teenage years ? Explain to him that he is way too young for that kind of stuff. Please get ride of that phone as the pikin dey to young to get phone with internet on it. No say dem no warn you o .

Not as if he can help it. His dad should teach him right from wrong, good values and morals. But as for crushes, it's not something they can control. He's a pre-teen, his body's changing and he's going to get crushes.

100

aaronson:
Sorry to say, that Softwerk guy is too African, I don't want to use the term BACKWARD.

Op, you doing the very right thing. Most informed parents clamour for sex education to be taught early enough and I see this op in that direction but this traditional softwerk guy is just being African.

Here's what I suggest Op,

Encourage your son to take things easy, one step at time and make him know the limit to which he can draw the line between mere crush, relationship and Sex just so he doesn't mistake one for the other and end up ruining his future. [/b]Be a guide instead of a disciplinarian like that softwerk guy is insinuating. When you truly be his guide, he wouldn't be afraid or ashame to tell you everything. And Sex education would be very easy to explain to him since you both are on same page already.

You a great dad, just treat you son like you friend. [b]They say train a child not rare him like how Softwerk is trying to tell us how got rared.

He should beat his kid for having a crush, can u imagine?