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Women In Ancient Nigeria - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:04pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
Lol. Seriously ma'am i suck at typing.

I really appreciate your contributions

Thanks.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:04pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Thanks a lot

I really appreciate your contributions,

So did Igbo women have inheritance in the husband's house? Some ancient women had inheritance in their husband's home though it was not transferrable.

Divorce : That Means divorce was frowned against seriously as if there are no female divorces, then there will be no male divorcees except the men just married more wives when they were tired of the current one.

So there was a lot of twerking then.

Are the women how marry these 'wives' married? Why do they bear the women's surnames?

So the culture is still same....
The husband's properties are hers as well. She the next in command if the husband is no more.

The man is allowed to marry and divorce as many times as he wants. but the woman is not permitted to do so.

Yes, the women might be married and the husband is no more, and she doesn't have a child for the husband. she adopts that method so that the husband's lineage will not go into extinction.

In some cases( let me illustrate this with a story) it invovles one of my secondary school class mate...

A man got married and had 5 daughters.. Due to the love his wife or maybe finance, he did not marry a second wife. He passed away after some years. The five daughter are all married and their mum very old.

Now, they both had a meeting and decided that instead of allowing their father's name to phase out,they agreed to go and get a wife in his name. Now they met this family whose daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. They dicussed with the family their plans and both the daughter and parents agreed to it. Marital rites was performed. traditional wedding took place, the lady gave the wine to the first daughter of the dead man( she stood in place of her father) After some months, the lady put to bed a baby boy.... And automatically the boy becomes the dead man's son. ( that is my classmate)
Th lady later have a boyfriend( maybe not just one sha) but she had other children apart from this my classmate. She had 6 kids all together. 4 boys and two girls. These children are considered as the deadman's children. who ever donated the sperm for their conception has no right over them. He is just a sperm donor.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:07pm On Jan 07, 2017
Beamborla:
I think the ancient/pre colonial women of both Igbo/Yoruba had the same experience.

The little difference I see is that I've never heard of a Yoruba woman marrying a wife for herself and some women were bold and daring enough to challenge the status quo...they made history.


Well I don't think their experience was same.

It would surprise you how monogamy, education or access to personal fund would change a society's lifestyle.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:09pm On Jan 07, 2017
Mindfulness:


Happy New Year dear! May you and your family be happy and healthy.

Google it.

Yes mamma

1 Like

Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:10pm On Jan 07, 2017
cococandy:
Before more tale spinners come, let me add that the idea of a woman who's not married being considered as unfortunate is not a traditional Igbo culture. It came from the west. They gave it a name (spinsterhood) and stigmatized it.
We adopted it and made it our own culture. Now anyone who doesn't agree with it is concerned too western grin

Off topic: the idea of persecuting 'witches and wizards' also came form the west. We are traditionally idol worshippers which is now considered as witchcraft.

Just adding. Y'all can continue

Lol!
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:10pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Happy new year and how are you & fam?

On divorce part: if a husband divorced his wife who had 4 kids and the wife remarried, the first husband was no longer the father of the existing children culturally? Were divorced women discriminated against or re-absorbed as 2nd to nth wives?

So the wives made money however spent as they deemed fit as the husbands were primary providers?

Olanna45, was the Umuada not operative in your culture?

This thread is really gonna be great.

** I have always had this stereotype of ancient Igbo wives staying at home and Igbo husbands been monogamous.
The umuadas were, but i tell you, they are stronger when it comes to victimizing their fellow women.... They can only step in and fight for the woman if the husband is a nobody or the girl's father is rich.

The pre colonial igbo man is not monogamous. He is respected by the number of yam barns he has, the number of wives and children he has, His flock of domestic animals, how many heads and slaves he brought home from wars.

Though times has changed when it comes to divorced women re marrying, before now, they are been stigmatized.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:13pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
The husband's properties are hers as well. She the next in command if the husband is no more.

The man is allowed to marry and divorce as many times as he wants. but the woman is not permitted to do so.

Yes, the women might be married and the husband is no more, and she doesn't have a child for the husband. she adopts that method so that the husband's lineage will not go into extinction.

In some cases( let me illustrate this with a story) it invovles one of my secondary school class mate...

A man got married and had 5 daughters.. Due to the love his wife or maybe finance, he did not marry a second wife. He passed away after some years. The five daughter are all married and their mum very old.

Now, they both had a meeting and decided that instead of allowing their father's name to phase out,they agreed to go and get a wife in his name. Now they met this family whose daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. They dicussed with the family their plans and both the daughter and parents agreed to it. Marital rites was performed. traditional wedding took place, the lady gave the wine to the first daughter of the dead man( she stood in place of her father) After some months, the lady put to bed a baby boy.... And automatically the boy becomes the dead man's son. ( that is my classmate)
Th lady later have a boyfriend( maybe not just one sha) but she had other children apart from this my classmate. She had 6 kids all together. 4 boys and two girls. These children are considered as the deadman's children. who ever donated the sperm for their conception has no right over them. He is just a sperm donor.

A wife next in command or her first son takes over?

At these women who birth for other wives, do they ever remarry? If yes, how are theit previous kids regarded @cococandy

If no, how do they satisfy their esx,.ual, emotional, financial etc. needs?

1 Like

Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:16pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
The umuadas were, but i tell you, they are stronger when it comes to victimizing their fellow women.... They can only step in and fight for the woman if the husband is a nobody or the girl's father is rich.

The pre colonial igbo man is not monogamous. He is respected by the number of yam barns he has, the number of wives and children he has, His flock of domestic animals, how many heads and slaves he brought home from wars.

Though times has changed when it comes to divorced women re marrying, before now, they are been stigmatized.

So the Umuada were also tools who could be swung either way.

Thanks a lot Olanna45.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:16pm On Jan 07, 2017
Sealeddeal:
Igbo women do take part in decision making. Even in resolving crisis. Have you not heard of Umuokpu or Umuada?
They do not take part in major decisions made in the community. Decisions on things war,land disputes etc,they are not consulted.

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Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:19pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


A wife next in command or her first son takes over?

At these women who birth for other wives, do they ever remarry? If yes, how are theit previous kids regarded @cococandy

If no, how do they satisfy their esx,.ual, emotional, financial etc. needs?
If the children are still tender... She is incharge. She oversees eveything that happens to the husband's properties until the children are of age. If the children comes of age.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:20pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


A wife next in command or her first son takes over?

At these women who birth for other wives, do they ever remarry? If yes, how are theit previous kids regarded @cococandy

If no, how do they satisfy their esx,.ual, emotional, financial etc. needs?
Whoever pays the brideprice owns the kids.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:20pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


A wife next in command or her first son takes over?

At these women who birth for other wives, do they ever remarry? If yes, how are theit previous kids regarded @cococandy

If no, how do they satisfy their esx,.ual, emotional, financial etc. needs?
Whoever paid the brideprice owns the kids.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:22pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
If the children are still tender... She is incharge. She oversees eveything that happens to the husband's properties until the children are of age. If the children comes of age.

Ok
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:24pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
Whoever pays the brideprice owns the kids.

Woaw!

So basically, the 'wife' couldn't remarry...
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:27pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Woaw!

So basically, the 'wife' couldn't remarry...
She can if the bride price is returned...
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:30pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
She can if the bride price is returned...

But the children which she was contracted to birth will belong to another man thereby defeating the purpose of marrying her in the first place.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:34pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


But the children which she was contracted to birth will belong to another man thereby defeating the purpose of marrying her in the first place.
No, she is not permitted to take the kids. Unless, the family doesn't want the kids...
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by cococandy(f): 7:36pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Happy new year and how are you & fam?
happy new year to you too. We are fine thank you smiley
On divorce part: if a husband divorced his wife who had 4 kids and the wife remarried, the first husband was no longer the father of the existing children culturally? Were divorced women discriminated against or re-absorbed as 2nd to nth wives?
exactly. Yes they were reabsorbed accordingly.

So the wives made money however spent as they deemed fit as the husbands were primary providers?
something like that. However I've heard conflicting accounts of this aspect. So I guess it does depend on individuals

Olanna45, was the Umuada not operative in your culture?

This thread is really gonna be great.

** I have always had this stereotype of ancient Igbo wives staying at home and Igbo husbands been monogamous.

Monogamy was widely practiced as well as polygamy. The reason why it seems like monogamy was more common (in my opinion) is because igbos were very adept at absorbing the western culture. So polygamy went out of fashion fast same as idol worship and myriads of other traditional practices. I doubt many people really remember 100% what was authentic Igbo culture.
The last polygamous men in both sides of my family were my father's great grandfather and my mothers great great grandfather.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:39pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
No, she is not permitted to take the kids. Unless, the family doesn't want the kids...

So she can give the kids to the family & walk away.

Woaw!
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:40pm On Jan 07, 2017
cococandy:
happy new year to you too. We are fine thank you smiley
exactly. Yes they were reabsorbed accordingly.

something like that. However I've heard conflicting accounts of this aspect. So I guess it does depend on individuals



Monogamy was widely practiced as well as polygamy. The reason why it seems like monogamy was more common (in my opinion) is because igbos were very adept at absorbing the western culture. So polygamy went out of fashion fast same as idol worship and myriads of other traditional practices. I doubt many people really remember 100% what was authentic Igbo culture.
The last polygamous men in both sides of my family were my father's great grandfather and my mothers great great grandfather.
She said the pre colonial igbo woman. Monogamy became rampant when we embraced westernization
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:40pm On Jan 07, 2017
cococandy:
happy new year to you too. We are fine thank you smiley
exactly. Yes they were reabsorbed accordingly.

something like that. However I've heard conflicting accounts of this aspect. So I guess it does depend on individuals



Monogamy was widely practiced as well as polygamy. The reason why it seems like monogamy was more common (in my opinion) is because igbos were very adept at absorbing the western culture. So polygamy went out of fashion fast same as idol worship and myriads of other traditional practices. I doubt many people really remember 100% what was authentic Igbo culture.
The last polygamous men in both sides of my family were my father's great grandfather and my mothers great great grandfather.

Interesting

So Igbo men back then had a reason to fight for their marriages.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:41pm On Jan 07, 2017
What about childbirth, after child birth care, religion, etc.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by cococandy(f): 7:44pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
She said the pre colonial igbo woman. Monogamy became rampant when we embraced westernization
That's what I said. Both poly and monogamy were practiced precolonially (at least in my side of igboland)
but monogamy became the more common to the decline of polygamy after we adopted western culture.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:45pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


So she can give the kids to the family & walk away.

Woaw!
She has... In a situation where she takes the kids along, the family has the right to claim the kids whenever they want to. Every other child/ren she has after the bride price is returned do not belong the family..
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:47pm On Jan 07, 2017
cococandy:

That's what I said. Both poly and monogamy were practiced precolonially (at least in my side of igboland)
but monogamy became the more common to the decline of polygamy after we adopted western culture.
well maybe, but in my part of igboland, its had to see a family whose ancestors did not practice polygamy.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:48pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
She has... In a situation where she takes the kids along, the family has the right to claim the kids whenever they want to. Every other child/ren she has after the bride price is returned do not belong the family..

Are these women discriminated against? Were men willing to marry them then?
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:48pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:
What about childbirth, after child birth care, religion, etc.
Child birth is handled by the local midwives... Religion is mostly our African traditional religion. Amadioha, ogwugwu, igwe ka ala etc.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by Olanna45(f): 7:49pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Are these women discriminated against? Were men willing to marry them then?
I don't know... But the ones i have seen since i became of age never left the marriage.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:55pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
Child birth is handled by the local midwives... Religion is mostly our African traditional religion. Amadioha, ogwugwu, igwe ka ala etc.

Special antenatal/post natal care for the wives? Special rites men were not involved in? Tying of stomachs, special pepper soups etc.

Was there any traditional 'kegel'? Focus on restoring her body to pre-pregnancy size?
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by bukatyne(f): 7:56pm On Jan 07, 2017
Olanna45:
I don't know... But the ones i have seen since i became of age never left the marriage.
ok
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by cococandy(f): 7:57pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Do we have history books written through our own eyes? Not by the whites?


That's a good question.
Re: Women In Ancient Nigeria by baby124: 7:57pm On Jan 07, 2017
bukatyne:


Happy new year

Lols at 'I love my tribe'

This your post only deals with value of children. Other parts nko?


Please see my posts to Olanna
Sorry Bukatyne, don't have much time to go through the thread. Maybe you could ask specific questions and I will respond as much as I can.

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