Just Before That Marriage Proposal

1. How much do you earn.

Have you evaluate your monthly income enough before thinking of marriage ? Look, this is very important and it can never be over emphasised, finance is as essential as love when it comes to marriage as its also a tool to stand trying times, so make the money first, to avoid storys that touch later on in the marriage.

2. Your life style

Also a very important thing to note, how is your spending life style, do you love expensive things, luxury e.t.c, are you the type that hate managing funds.
You need to be certain you are getting married to someone who understands the concept behind ''Saving for the rainning days'' and not someone who over spends and are over demanding.

3. The Cost Of Wedding.

Have you considered the cost of wedding, how much do you have saved and how much do you planned for it,, oh, N500,000K would be enough, you would think but at the end you might find yourself spending N2.5million, so think deaply.

4. Cost of Housing.

You are now a bachelor or spinster, so you are probably still living with your parents or squating with a friend in a self-contain,, my brother and sister the cost of housing had increased greatly, the amount to rent a self-contain now ranges between N100K-N150K, and as a married man society would expect you move into atleast a 2bedroom apartment which the cost of rent ranges between N250,000K - N500,000K annually depending on location and amenities the facilities posses, i ask can you afford this now ?

5. Prices of Commodities in the Market.

With the recession and increase in dollar rate bitting hard, the prices of commodities had sky rocketed, tripling from the previous prices e.g a bag of rice now cost between N25,000 - N45,000, biscuit & sweets are now between N20-N50, Gala is now N100, i hope you are not forgetting the kids who would also come along later on, oh you thought marriage is about just the two of you, you never included the kids in your plans did you ?

.

If you are waiting for when everything is perfect, you won't marry.

Non

6. School Fees.

Now that you know the kids would also be part of the family, soon,, have you started planning for school fees ?
A school in this same country charges N2million for acceptance fees alone, hmmm,, the cheapest of good schools available now is N25,000 for only school fees, school bag, shoes, books e.t.c are not included, are you well prepared or you believing you would cross that bridge when you get there, right ? Preparation should begin now!

7. SMA Gold(Baby Food).

Have you bothered to ask how much baby food cost in the market and stores/malls ?
I heard SMA Gold now cost N6,000, Bro, some babies would empty a can in 2weeks, but that shouldn't be your only concern, what of other baby stuffs like clothing, drugs, Pampers, Baby wipes e.tc.
You really need to plan right before rushing to propose or accepting that proposal, don't let age pressure or the little savings you have now deceive you, if you make an hasty decision today you'll bare it alone tomorrow, note that.

8. Extended Family.

Now, this is one big mistake a lot of people make, look let me tell you the real truth, when you marry you don't marry your partner alone you also marry them with their family; either you like it or not, and these family members must be included in your plans.
For the males, they would demand financial assistance from you, and for the ladies you most labour in chores either you like it or not, so i advise you prepare yourself, mentally, physically and financially before thinking of marriage.

9. Unexpected Responsibilities.

After you have gotting married expect some responsibilities you were not acostumed to before, be it financial or physical, people would automatically expect more from you, from more donations, to taking up more physical responsibilities, you name it, and they wont take any excuse from you because they believe you are now married.

10. Extra Bills

A lot of Extra bills would come your way, from friends & family to extended families and the society at large,, you only cater for yourself before but now you have your family and many other factors to think of, i hope you are really ready for it.

Please make sure you are physically, mentally, financially and even spiritually ready before jumping into marriage, inorder to avoid future occurances that may seem too daunting to overcome, put into consideration the innocent kids you will be bringing into this world, they deserve the best and nothing less, also remember that it will be your responsibility and your responsibility alone.

I humbly rest my case.

sekundosekundo:
If you are waiting for when everything is perfect, you won't marry.

Yes, you are right, but you still have to be very sure of yourself before making that decision, remember, you are expected to make such, once in a life time.

HIScraziness:
Most guys do not think about this, they rush to make the woman his wife wouldn't make him see any of this. That's why most men propose in a year and eventually get married to the lady after like 5years.


So many ladies around here been wearing a ring for years without them getting married any time soon

Its really getting serious, and after 2 years get get divorced, have come to notice, many get married for their own selfish reason, e.g for Office Promotions, Personal Cook, Private Lovepedller, House chorse, Human ATM, For a free home, just to prove to the world they aint Jinxed nor barren e.t.c

We really need to know the motive behind the other person, and ours as well.

Great thread and solid points

agrovick:
Great thread and solid points

Thanks a lot
Lanicky i finally droped it o
Cc: lalasticlala

shumuel:


Yes, you are right, but you still have to be very sure of yourself before making that decision, remember, you are expected to make such, once in a life time.

Don't forget that some men's prosperity is somehow attached to their getting married. Some men that falls into this category always find it difficult in life especially to settle down but if they manage and get married, Hmmm come and see marital blessings.

Though I agree with you.

shumuel:

Thanks a lot
Lani.cky i finally droped it o
Cc: lalasti.clala

You are welcome bruv.
Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you

If you look at the wind, you will not sow. How do low income earners marry and manage their homes.

Having said that most marriages are facing though times these days. 99% of married people are pretending and managing.

shumuel:


Thanks a lot

L.anicky i finally droped it o

Cc: lal.asticlala

Nice point dear

sekundosekundo:


Don't forget that some men's prosperity is somehow attached to their getting married. Some men that falls into this category always find it difficult in life especially to settle down but if they manage and get married, Hmmm come and see marital blessings.

Though I agree with you.

Yeah, so i have heard, and yes some men i know had said the samething, but it doesn't apply to everyone but only a few.

shumuel:


Yeah, so i have heard, and yes some men i know had said the samething, but it doesn't apply to everyone but only a few.

Read my post again, I said some men

and I am one of such.

OP, may God bless you abundantly for this master piece.

I hope you're married sha

Because soon they will come in to bombard you that your single status doesn't qualify you to give marital advice.

agrovick:

You are welcome bruv.
Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you

kikiki Lol i wouldn't disagree

ndcide:
If you look at the wind, you will not sow. How do low income earners marry and manage their homes.

Having said that most marriages are facing though times these days. 99% of married people are pretending and managing.

Very wise of you, you answered your own question with the @bolded,, to add to it, many couples cheat on eachother, beat eachother up every night, pretend to be in good terms to family & freinds, have other kids outside while the ladies bring home bastereds to their husbands, they do all these just to keep face outside or because of their public status but in reality they are world apart.

lanicky:


Nice point dear

Thanks, i appreciate

shumuel:


Very wise of you, you answered your own question with the @bolded,, to add to it, many couples cheat on eachother, beat eachother up every night, pretend to be in good terms to family & freinds, have other kids outside while the ladies bring home bastereds to their husbands, they do all these just to keep face outside or because of their public status but in reality they are world apart.

Na wah.. You even made it worse.

Whats the point of getting married.

amodu:
OP, may God bless you abundantly for this master piece.

I hope you're married sha

Because soon they will come in to bombard you that your single status doesn't qualify you to give marital advice.

kikiki Lol Thanks man and also to you.

No am not but i have had my own fair share of two years of marriage(If i am permitted to say so ) Well what i mean is, have had a live-in lover for two years before the break up and i clearly know what it feels like to be cheated on, exchange words, fight, pretend to family & friends as if everything was okay, to have beautiful make-up sexx, take decisions together, pay and even share the bills, go down financially and even take care of a kid together(My niece had to stay with me then because my sister had a contract to execute in abuja) so we took care of her together. Well with the above i want to believe that i am in the right position, qualified to speak and be listen to, and also fit to give marital advises , so let them come .

my brothers if you love your single life click like and if you don't click share and why.

sekundosekundo:


Read my post again, I said some men

and I am one of such.

I got you bro, i said ''Yes, some men'' in my previous post, please check again.

Good to know, then i'll say luck you are man

I hope you've also heard of some men whose downfall was brought about because they was married to the wrong person or a certain person ,, something about the wife having a bad feet or so, mostly said by South westerner(Yorubas) ?

Very well said!

shumuel:


I got you bro, i said ''Yes, some men'' in my previous post, please check again.

Good to know, then i'll say luck you are man

I hope you've also heard of some men whose downfall was brought about because they was married to the wrong person or a certain person ,, something about the wife having a bad feet or so, mostly said by South westerner(Yorubas) ?

Well, that's their cup of tea. I am a Christian and believe what the Bible says about marriage. A man that finds wife finds good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord.
The best preparation for marriage is spiritual preparation and if you missed this, you've missed all.

Yea,a thousand times do we ladies try to make sure of this before the wedding bells and a thousand times are we termed gold diggers!...

ndcide:



Na wah.. You even made it worse.

Whats the point of getting married.

The points are; get married for the right reasons at the right time and not because he is rich, TDH, family are well know, because she had a banging body, most beautiful in the area, a richman's daughter, family is well connected, tribe, religion, region e.t.c but because of love, true love, honesty, kindness, understanding, forgiving, slow to anger, with someone who is ready to face the world together(with you) e.t.c

refiner:
Yea,a thousand times do we ladies try to make sure of this before the wedding bells and a thousand times are we termed gold diggers!...

Not getting married to someone who can't afford marriage isn't gold-digging but insurance, preparing a good future for you and your kids is your main duty, if anyone tags you as a gold-digger then pay no mind to them, except you only want to get married to billionaires only, well sister that not my point because thats you getting married only because of money,, there guys out there who are not millionaires but can afford marriage any day any time.

Let be frank with ourselves, whould you still want to stay in a marriage where you lack almost everything ?

sekundosekundo:


Well, that's their cup of tea. I am a Christian and believe what the Bible says about marriage. A man that finds wife finds good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord.
The best preparation for marriage is spiritual preparation and if you missed this, you've missed all.

Agreed, but the Bible didn't say ''Find any woman'' But ''Find a wife'' and the Bible also didn't say anything about finding in a hurry or at a certain age or time,, the Bible also advises us to make the right decision at the right time and not lie to ourselves.

Lastly, the Bible preaches against hasty decisions, or decieving one another.

All we need is prayer for God's guidiance.

shumuel:


Not getting married to someone who can't afford marriage isn't gold-digging but insurance, preparing a good future for you and your kids is your main duty, if anyone tags you as a gold-digger then pay no mind to them, except you only want to get married to billionaires only, well sister that not my point because thats you getting married only because of money,, there guys out there who are not millionaires but can afford marriage any day any time.

Let be frank with ourselves, whould you still want to stay in a marriage where you lack almost everything ?

Nah...but on a sec thought...

U married a well to do man,who can provide anything u wish but along the line,his business starts having problem and things become difficult...

Will u leave?