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6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. - Career - Nairaland

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6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Nobody: 8:52am On Feb 09, 2017
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'Puff! He's gone.'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

168 Likes 43 Shares

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by rubi96(f): 11:11am On Feb 09, 2017
Nice write up

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by ify123destiny(m): 4:26pm On Feb 09, 2017
Very Inspiring, Bravo

6 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Nobody: 7:47pm On Feb 09, 2017
Brilliant post. I like the last statements.

2 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by dollaflow(m): 6:58am On Feb 10, 2017
Ok

1 Like

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by ngmgeek(m): 6:59am On Feb 10, 2017
ok
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by dsettingz(m): 6:59am On Feb 10, 2017
Aiit
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by prettyomidan: 6:59am On Feb 10, 2017
Nice post...
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by izzou(m): 6:59am On Feb 10, 2017
grin

So funny and informative


But the first two is porn related. I hereby invite the Vaseline crew to learn from this

3 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by barrysome001: 7:01am On Feb 10, 2017
You have made my day already, much love!

3 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Nobody: 7:01am On Feb 10, 2017
cheesy

Very funny and true
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Edubestconsult: 7:01am On Feb 10, 2017
That manager tho undecided

3 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by tboyO2: 7:03am On Feb 10, 2017
Nice
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Nobody: 7:04am On Feb 10, 2017
Wow, nice obe

1 Like

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by olawunidamilare(m): 7:05am On Feb 10, 2017
[color=#006600][/color] Nice write up.. I love this..
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by beycity(m): 7:06am On Feb 10, 2017
Although I have seen most of them before, but it's still great going through them again. Nice one OP.

2 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by chumakk: 7:07am On Feb 10, 2017
Nice one but that priest part of I don't agree with.
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Drdaps(m): 7:09am On Feb 10, 2017
well done op
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Bhuldoxxa(m): 7:10am On Feb 10, 2017
Very interesting op. Especially the bullsh*t part of it.
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by easyzworld: 7:10am On Feb 10, 2017
Nice but that priest messed up though!
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by nolyyy(m): 7:15am On Feb 10, 2017
OP tnx 4 dis
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by sakalisis(m): 7:18am On Feb 10, 2017
Ok
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Enoquin(f): 7:20am On Feb 10, 2017
You've made my morning especially with the morals

1 Like

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by fromnigeria(m): 7:23am On Feb 10, 2017
I
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Miamibutch(m): 7:30am On Feb 10, 2017
Very interesting write up..... .
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by reachbenny(m): 7:32am On Feb 10, 2017
wowww!
An interesting piece with priceless lessons. many thanks dear.

1 Like

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Bsmartt(m): 7:33am On Feb 10, 2017
Inspiring! Thank you OP

1 Like

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Stooi76(m): 7:36am On Feb 10, 2017
Yes

3 Likes

Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Lanretoye(m): 7:42am On Feb 10, 2017
now this is an interesting one.
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Nobody: 7:52am On Feb 10, 2017
Awesome piece!
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by rawpadgin(m): 8:04am On Feb 10, 2017
nice one
Re: 6 Management Lessons Everyone Should Know. by Lazypoet75(m): 8:04am On Feb 10, 2017
Sincerely speaking, you got me on this number three story/lesson. Still cannot stop laughing grin grin

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'Puff! He's gone.'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:Always let your boss have the first say.

1 Like

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