joke about Wife Got a Text Message From his Husband.

Husband sent a text to his wife, “Hi I will get late, please wash all my dirty clothes and please prepare my favorite dish before I return.”

He sent another text, “I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary and at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”

Wife text back, “Omg really ?”

Husband Replied, “No, I just wanted to make sure that you got my 1st message.”




What The F**k Would You Say Now ?

In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning a farmer named Donald…

Lawyer : Didn’t you say, at the moment of the accident, ‘I’m fine.’

Donald : Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the…

Lawyer (interrupted) : I did not ask you for any details, just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’

Donald : Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…

The lawyer (interrupted again) : Judge, I’m trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.

By this time the judge was fairly interested in Donald’s answer and said to the lawyer “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”

Donald thanked the judge and proceeded :
Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. When the highway patrolman came on the scene he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her near fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, ‘How are you feeling?’

Now what the Bleep would you say?


to read more funny joke around the world like the i have posted hit this : http://www.jokesfair.com

the first one tho