Please i need mature advise on this troubling issue.


I'm a young business man (and currently running my msc) based in the East, with a girlfriend that i'm so eager to marry. She's a pretty girl with excellent character and everybody seems to like her. Many guys are fighting to marry her, but somehow she has chosen me. I love her so dearly with all heart.

However, the problem is that we both don't have any common interest. For instance, i am interested and like to talk about entrepreneurship, sports, chess, books, history and politics........, while she's fascinated by religion, paid employment, facebook, telemundo, big brother and beauty pageantry.
I'm the type that can patiently listen to someone for hours, while she's the talkative type(which i like). But she always seems to talk about her interests, which results to me having to listen to long boring tales all day long. I also notice that she's easily bored whenever i talk about the things that i like. The relationship is getting boring, especially whenever we're alone in the house.

Now my question is ; Do you think it's wise for both of us to marry each other even with the obvious conflict of interests and outlook in life? Do you think the marriage will be all about endurance when the love eventually fades out?

Thank you

Mchew please marry her ... There is absolutely nothing wrong...



No two people are alike

lol

Be honest to yourself, do you know her long enough or in the short time how well do you know her? I don't think your interest must be hers that's why what we need in marriage are complimentary partners not corresponding partners. I will advise you to read good books on marriage or self help tapes. No one can give u the best answer to marry her or not u will do that yourself.

...And after the wedding, when the marriage begins what do you think you would talk about? Think about what you would talk about in 2yrs, 10yrs 20yrs, etc. I remember a young married bobo that was on my tail then just to talk...It is well.

Biko, find common interest to build on or split. No time to say no time.

dingbang:
Mchew please marry her ... There is absolutely nothing wrong...



No two people are alike

I'm sorry! Whether or not no two people are alike, they can both have a meeting point. And before they think of getting married, they MUST have that meeting point. To me,that's one way they become one. Courtship shouldnt simply be about assessing whether the other person has a good character, but whether you both are compatible. Good character isn't synonymous with compatibility. Don't get that twisted.

Op, raise the issue with her. Tell her areas of discussions that really pique your interest, and observe if she can grow to love them. Try doing same at your end. If nothing works, consider whether you can bear a boring marriage, and decide accordingly.

...d lady above me haz said it all... Communication matters a lot...let her knw how u feel abt it..wish u all d best

If you have no common interests how can you say you are in a relationship? You are only infatuated with her. After the physical attraction, what next? Be bored with each other's company?

Thanks a lot guys

Richy4:
In my humble opinion,I will say that was a perfect match made in Heaven...

<<<<You are patient to listen....And she was the talkative type....So do what a lot of men do ...sleep as she is talking without interrupting her....You can always spice it up by sleeping and nodding your head as she speak...Occasionally you can wake up and say "sweetie that's so hilarious" and you continue sleeping..That will keep her going for some time until she looks at u and hit u for sleeping while she was talking...Then u said sorry Dear I was kinda tired.

<<<As for getting bored at home, that one is basically your fault..There are lots of things you can do out door.. hold hands and go to parks, zoo,..etc just be creative man...I do not even see where the problem was...I for one have never come across a lady that talks about politics or sports...except when few mistakenly say that they were supporting Manchester United because certain person they know either brother or father was supporting it..full stop..That's all you might hear on sport knowledge....

Thank you sir

blank:
If you have no common interests how can you say you are in a relationship? You are only infatuated with her. After the physical attraction, what next? Be bored with each other's company?

Believe me, it's not mere physical attraction. I honestly love that girl. It's the love that have kept me going despite the differences. And i don't know how long i can continue going if/when the love begins to fade

Gaborone:


I'm sorry! Whether or not no two people are alike, they can both have a meeting point. And before they think of getting married, they MUST have that meeting point. To me,that's one way they become one. Courtship shouldnt simply be about assessing whether the other person has a good character, but whether you both are compatible. Good character isn't synonymous with compatibility. Don't get that twisted.

Op, raise the issue with her. Tell her areas of discussions that really pique your interest, and observe if she can grow to love them. Try doing same at your end. If nothing works, consider whether you can bear a boring marriage, and decide accordingly.

Thank you

My pleasure @ Zidane52.

All the best.

Zidane52:
Believe me, it's not mere physical attraction. I honestly love that girl. It's the love that have kept me going despite the differences. And i don't know how long i can continue going if/when the love begins to fade

What did u actually mean by "love begins to fade"?

Richy4:
In my humble opinion,I will say that was a perfect match made in Heaven...

<<<<You are patient to listen....And she was the talkative type....So do what a lot of men do ...sleep as she is talking without interrupting her....You can always spice it up by sleeping and nodding your head as she speak...Occasionally you can wake up and say "sweetie that's so hilarious" and you continue sleeping..That will keep her going for some time until she looks at u and hit u for sleeping while she was talking...Then u said sorry Dear I was kinda tired.

<<<As for getting bored at home, that one is basically your fault..There are lots of things you can do out door.. hold hands and go to parks, zoo,..etc just be creative man...I do not even see where the problem was...I for one have never come across a lady that talks about politics or sports...except when few mistakenly say that they were supporting Manchester United because certain person they know either brother or father was supporting it..full stop..That's all you might hear on sport knowledge....

Nope! I beg to disagree. Courtship is a test of compatibility. There must be a point of convergence for the both of you. I once had to severe ties with an ex because our relationship became boring, we weren't talking like we once used to, of course like you, he saw it as a non-issue but it's a big deal for me.

...and Yes! Girls do talk politics and sports, it's a matter of interest. My husband and I can talk for hours about Trump, Putin, Assad, Netanyahu, Merkel, Mugabe or Bubu. Just so you know, I'm a crazy Arsenal FC fan and can beat you hands down on football ramblings.

OP, reconsider before you make an irreversible mistake.

See how you can help her up with her own interest and stop complaining of her not seeing or doing things from the same angle as you..
Your reasons are just boyfriend/girlfriend lame excuses.

placeofallure:


Nope! I beg to disagree. Courtship is a test of compatibility. There must be a point of convergence for the both of you. I once had to severe ties with an ex because our relationship became boring, we weren't talking like we once used to, of course like you, he saw it as a non-issue but it's a big deal for me.

...and Yes! Girls do talk politics and sports, it's a matter of interest. My husband and I can talk for hours about Trump, Putin, Assad, Netanyahu, Merkel, Mugabe or Bubu. Just so you know, I'm a crazy Arsenal FC fan and can beat you hands down on football ramblings.

OP, reconsider before you make an irreversible mistake.

I completely agree with you. There MUST be a point of mutuality of interest, that is what can keep the fire burning. If she keeps talking about her interest alone and whenever you talked about yours, she's bored and showed little or no interest, it's a sign of selfishness and a lack of consideration for a partner. Everybody want to be heard not girls alone. @Op, sit her down and discuss your worries with her; let her know that as much as you'd like to share in her interest, you would also be happy if she can develop interest in what you like also. Tell her how you feel about her attitudes towards you whenever you try yo discuss your interest and study her thereafter.

It's good that you don't have the same interests because you can both learn from each other and fill in where you lack.

Of course, if you're both completely uninterested in your respective interests then it's not going to work but if you're receptive to each other in this regard then y'all can work out.

Great suggestions


Thanks a lot guys

Not the one that you will marry her and start complaining when she puts herself before you and your children. There's no perfect person, you just have to find the imperfection you can deal with... for a very long time.

Left to me you just finding fault where there's none.

marriage is purely abt communication and for d next 50yrs or more of your lives together u wud b be communication with eachother. Amos 3:3 says two can not walk together expect they be agreement. Wot is ur purpose in life and hers? If hers is entirely different frm urs then its best u end d relationship becos of conflict of interest. E.g u cant be called to go the d South n she the North as couple u wud hv issues. Also talk to her abt ur fear and see whether she wud change to start liking d tins u like. Marriage is also full of sacrifices..... Is she will to sacrifice d tins she luv talkin abt for urs in other to eliminate boredom and vice versa.

My candid advice is don't do what you will end up regretting. Can u list out then thinngs you love about her and then things you hate so much about her. Let's start from there.


Mainwhile check my signature for how to make residual income every single month.

Op, there is no cause for alarm, let me just add to what others hs advised..
I feel u should be a bit flexible with your interest.. There is no big deal picking up some interest in what she likes. Maybe fashion, or even telemundo...it u watch soccer a lot then u take her along wen going, get her a nice Jersey and tell her names of players..before u know it, her interest will grow..
About talking for so long, its a duty set by default for men to oblige their partners wen d need arises..cos if u don't listen to your partner/ wife, it comes with a risk of corridor gossips with more devastating effect..

Wen I met my partner, I noticed she loves music a lot...and she can gist from today till weekend.. So I decided to pick up some interest in music, conversely she picked up interest in soccer too..den we do some gossiping till we both fall asleep..

Zidane52:
Believe me, it's not mere physical attraction. I honestly love that girl. It's the love that have kept me going despite the differences. And i don't know how long i can continue going if/when the love begins to fade

if i were you and i love this girl, i'll take time out to enter her world and take a bit more interest in what interests her. That you'll be able to understand her mindset and respond more when she's talking.

Love is all about sacrifice and it's all about your loved one. Cherish her, find a common ground for both of you.

Having separate interests is also good, at least you get to listen to each other. When you get married there will be more common grounds, like the kids' issues, church, etc.

If am dating a guy and hope to marry him and we have no common ground of discussion? Mehn I will be bored stiff .I can't cope by just looking at his cute face and godly behaviour.. I will breakup.. I love communication so much. It deepens the bond than sxxx sef. That's for me o

So op, think very well before u make that decision.. Can u cope? With nothing to discuss about? Except how bills in running the home will be paid ?

Zidane52:
Believe me, it's not mere physical attraction. I honestly love that girl. It's the love that have kept me going despite the differences. And i don't know how long i can continue going if/when the love begins to fade

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Do you picture yourself with her in the next 20 years? Does she mentally stimulate you? Do you find your times together memorable? Is she your friend?

Do you want a partner you can talk with, or one who gets bored when you want to talk about what bothers or interests you?

Those telling you 'there's a meeting point' will not be there when her chitchat eventually begins to irritate you and by then it will be too late.

Love and sex alone cannot hold a marriage. Communication and companionship are equally as important.

Only you know what you want and you alone knows where the shoe pinches. Be wise and above all SEEK GOD'S FACE.

Zidane52:
Believe me, it's not mere physical attraction. I honestly love that girl. It's the love that have kept me going despite the differences. And i don't know how long i can continue going if/when the love begins to fade

Bro, I think I can relate. But funniest thing is that those criteria we set for marriage when we are in our late twenties become meaningless when we are approaching 40 years.

Don't make foolish mistake about losing her because there is no common interest. There will always be a common interest when you are married. There will always be. Trust me. You can break up if you want but don't let it be because you both don't have common interest.

She wants you, you want her; create a meeting place. Develop interest in religion. Attend programs together. Read the same book and share what you gained with one another.

I hope it is not a long distance courtship like mine.

It's a two way thing boss. Guess you can't have it all. I am married to a woman I tort we but shared same interest but after marriage turns out we no longer do for reasons I can't fantum.
You can't always have it all. Sit her down and talk to her. She is the conservative type and that will means he will raise your kids well , while you are busy having your business meetings and away for weeks or months.
That I am sure of. No cheating, stress and wahala that comes with it.
Relax guess things will eventually work it self out.
It's better than marrying a cheat , disrespectful and troublesome woman who won't allow you a moment of peace.
If you can leave your woman for months and yet she ain't distracted or tempted to cheat and won't make trouble for you , and she loves God, puts you first and prays for you always . Boss marry her.
Only disadvantage is you will remain a married bachelor at times when you guys ain't discussing topics of mutual interest.

But why do I see a selfish man


All that matters is your own interest

Biko
Go look for the woman who talks sports
Chess
That way
You will be happy
No boredom whatsoever