I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

ashantigirl83:
I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

So sorry sister. I will join you in prayer. What is moms name? Her first name. So that those of us who want to pray with you can know. It is a sad thing to watch ones parent die(I know, because I lost both my parents)
I shall pray with you . May her health be restored.

ashantigirl83:
I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

Hi. Sorry for the situation you find yourself. God is real. I lost my dad at the age of 15. Our last born then was 9 years. Today as we speak, he is an intern radiographer at UNTH, Enugu. I am an Engineer working in a Telco. I am very sure your family present economic status is far better than ours at the time we lost our dad because our mum was a fulltime house wife. To make things worse, our uncle took whatever was left of our dad's property except his house in the village where we lived.

In life, death is inevitable. Barely a year after I got a job, I lost my elder brother whose wife was nursing a 2 month old baby. I'm sure you'll not wish to be that boy cos he would never have the slightest idea how his dad looks like.

In all these, we thank God. People have seen worse and remain unquivering in their faith in God. This life is not a bed of roses. There are the ups and downs. May God grant you the grace to weather through the storm. You'll definitely smile someday and forget the sorrows flowing like river in your heart today. Remain blest.

ashantigirl83:
I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

Your story clearly portrays how God had shown your mum mercies on several occasions yet you still think in this direction instead of keeping your trust in God.
My advice

1. If God is not real then is death not real as well

2. Your thinking clearly betrays that of the typical atheist because you still see life as something worth dying to live for.
3. Continue to have faith in God and he will do it. Remember faith is the substance of things not seen and the evidence of things hoped for.

My prayers I wish your mum a speedy recovery from her ailment.

God still answer prayer.Miracle happen always.That she's still alive till now,breathing is a WONDERS.God isn't deaf,dumb/dead.He has perfect all that concern ur mum.i see her going from strength to strength. keep sounding(declare /prophecy )THAT LONG LIFE IS HER HERITAGE GOD HAS NOT GIVEN HER TO DEATH. SHE''LL fulfilled the number of her days the good book says, (Teach us to number our days that we may apply wisdom).My dear,ur mouth is not giving for eating only. Open ur mouth and curse that cancer in the name of JESUS.DECLARE it in the morning, afternoon, night.We are told that everything God made is/was very good.There4,cancer isn't her inheritance. She is HEALED not that she will,IT IS SETTLED FOREVER IN.

God is real and the prayers of the faithfuls availeth much. I'll add your mum and entire family in my prayers. Be strong.

Yes he can

ashantigirl83:
I just feel like my life is a bad dream.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in July 2014 and given 1 year to live.

Thank GOD, she defied doctors and is still here almost 3 years later.

However, the cancer had spread to the bone and brain. Although they were able to 'cure' the cancer in the bone/brain, the one in the lung remains and still growing.

Therefore they have stopped treatment and said she only has months e.g. 3 months to live. This was in Jan 2017.

I feel like we are being punished. We have made mistakes in the past and repented, but I feel like we are being punished.

I am sad and angry at God, there are people who have done worse - those evil politicians etc and they are enjoying their life whilst a mother is just trying to train her kids and enjoy her life quietly (her children - I am oldest age 23, middle child age 21 and youngest age 18) with her husband (my dad)

I am confused, look at those girls who had children as a teenager or at a young age out of wedlock - should I have joined them so that my mother would have been able to see my kids and hold her grandchild? I am angry, bitter and jealous of a girl who is my age and had a baby out of wedlock age 20, her mother and grandmother are alive to see that child..whilst I am still a virgin age 23, and my mother is terminally ill only expected to live a few months and not see my children/her grandchildren - who gained?

I still have hope in God, as since November 2016 they were saying she only has weeks but she is still here, but now they said months in Jan 2017.

She has made 'some' progress considering her situation, e.g. she used to have seizures up to 5 times in one day but after many prayers the seizure has stopped on itself. She could not walk, and was on wheelchair - but now after many prayers and annointing oil she can walk and climb stairs. She seems to be having a sharper memory and she looks very healthy, but she still has that diagnosis over her and is still very unwell.

I feel like dying because I feel like my life is falling apart! Like we are cursed! Our enemies will be happy and those who have been jealous of my families previous success will be secretly happy if she dies.

Yesterday, I felt like breaking down - I am not from a rich family at all, but yesterday my dad paid a herbalist £1,500 which is 591,997.58 Nigerian Naira because we are desperately searching for alternative treatments as the doctors have given up on her. £1,500 is no joke, we are not rich at all and I know he suffered to get that money but we are desperate, and the man looks like a 419 but we are desperate.

This shame is too much, look what we have been reduced to!


I was originally catholic but now have joined redeemed and another church aswell as my catholic so I am currently running up and down going to 3 different churches aswell as praying at home. Plus trying to study for my final exams but finding it hard to concentrate.
My life is a mess,please help me

If my mum dies it is either because
1. God is not a good God and he let her die. Spare me that BS about if she dies its for the best and God knows best, what can be best about an 18 year old boy losing his mother? A mother who don dey sow sow sow and neva fit reap?

2. God is not real... and I have been living and defending a lie my whole life, and I have no divine protection...

Firstly, i apologise for your mother's situation, and I know this must be a troubling time. However it's unfair for you to use your virginity as an achievement just because you are a 'boy', while shaming girls who became pregnant at a young age by your fellow 'boys'. Do you consider their situation like your mother's? Do you consider whether they were raped (which they would never tell people due to stigma), or were drugged, or blackmailed by these same boys? Do you consider that the boys are also at fault for the pregnancy, and should hold the same responsibility? Do you consider that due to their young age, they are more likely to die from labour, like what your mother is going through?

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but you cant shame one group of people to gain sympathy for yourself, it is just not fair. These girls and your mother go through such a difficult period in their lives, but people are quick to judge them and shame them until relatives around them are affected by these situations. Please dont do that. I get that you are frustrated, but it is never a good excuse to shame others in a similar disadvantaged situation.

Nevertheless, I do feel for your situation. Try to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Try to remember that there are even young children as young as 2 years old who are battling with cancer, and those who have died from it, never truly living their lives. Try and be grateful that your mother has lived many years and most likely had a fulfilling life. I know it is not easy losing a loved one, especially through cancer. I may not yet have known anyone with cancer yet, but I did lose a dear friend of mine to stabbing when he was 13, and I was 10 at the time. I have also lost my father when I was 3, and grandmother at 16. I am 18 now, just like you.

I understand the pain of losing a loved one when you are still young. Just remember this. Many of us on this thread, myself included, would love to see your mother back to health again. But you must consider the possibility of losing her as well. I know this is a very scary thought, but this is very important, and is in no way reducing your trust in God, or your love for your mum. Knowing this, I say you make the most of the doctors' predicted time with your mother. Make these months the best months you ever had with your mother. Make her feel loved, and accomplished. Make her feel strong, and encourage her every day. If she is able, take her to places she has always wanted to travel to. And if not, decorate her rooms to what she loves. All these things can strengthen her resolve to fight against cancer, and who knows, maybe she will strike second time victorious. But if she does lose the fight, you will have been prepared, and the memories you will have given her will have given you and her a closure that will never be forgotten. All the things you would have wanted to do with her will have be completed. And it would make you stronger and hopeful for the days onwards.

So have hope, and stay strong. I would also advise strongly to stick to one church only, as going to many different churches is only going to stress you out, as many churches are not genuine in helping you and are only after your finances. Better yet, dont go at all, or only go on Sundays for services and nothing else. You need to be with your mother during this period, and your church can be with her, praying as a family. Also, explain your situation to your school so that they can give you time to be with your mother, away from examinations. If they dont accept, they are not a good school and you should change schools asap, as that would be callous. Your dad shouldn't have paid that money if you dont believe in herbalist power, but theres nothing that can be done about that now, unless the herbalist is kind enough to refund.

I know its easy to blame God if your mother passes away, and maybe you are right, but cancer has evolved due to industrialisation brought about by the western countries, which has caused radiation that people are constantly exposed to, and toxic ingredients and GM products added to foods, clothes and cosmetics, as well as pollution in the air, water and earth which produces plants to eat, that have all contributed to cancer. So dont be too hard on yourself or God. If you need someone to blame, by all means do so if that helps you to cope. But know that blaming only wastes time and effort. Instead, use the majority of your time and energy living life to the fullest with your mother. It will make you and your mother a lot happier.

Remember, you are not alone. Fellow Nairalanders and I will be praying for your mother, and some of us, myself included, will be willing to help you on your way. So stay positive!