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Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her / This Is Why No woman Should Trust Her Man With Any lady. / Can You Still Trust Your Wife After This ? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 6:35am On Apr 01, 2017
I had a discussion with her again last night..

This is what she said happened...

It was on march 4. My sister's boyfriend came in the evening and will be passing the night there. And whenever this happens, my girl will either sleep in other lodge mate's room or sleep at her friend's place. She was not in good terms with the lodge mate she used to stay with and decided to go to her friend's place. When she got to her friend's place, her friend's boyfriend was also around and will be passing the night there. Then she was about to go further to another friend's place when the guy's call came in.. Then she decided to go see him in his place and here him out(the guy was yet to ask her out but was always demanding to see her). Then when she got to his place, they had a long discussion which led to a kiss of about one minute which she later broke and went to the other friend's place to pass the night. She said she was carried away and hasn't even said yes to his proposal even till now. The school was already on vacation so she went back to Lagos the 2nd day.


Like I said earlier, the chat I stumbled on, which she has deleted earlier didn't give me enough evidence that they were already dating so I just decided to further whyn the guy to know how far they have gone..


The chat ensued when she was at home. The guy was saying he was missing her and felt like being with her and cuddling her and all that sweet rubbish..

Her reply were..
hmmm
missing me?
why will you be missing me?
what are you missing about me?
cuddling me? let my boyfriend catch you..

the guy told her he really loved her and asked if she loved him too

her reply was..

I don't even know what to say. Still thinking..


In another chat, the guy was saying he has missed her and can't wait to be with her again..

her reply was..

So that you can touch me, abi?
.
.
.
.


So, all this didn't give me enough details but I knew they were already doing something. I wanted to know what the guy was missing so much about her, and decided to chat him up. Then I learnt it was the kiss and her times with him..

I have decided to let it pass and continue with her considering that since the past four years, something like this has never happened. If it happened, I would have caught her then..

And I have warned her never to visit a guy in his place again or allow a long sensual discussion with a guy again..

EVEN IF THERE ARE THINGS SHE COVERED UP HERE AND DIDN'T REVEAL, THE THINGS SHE REVEALED ARE TRUTHFUL TO SOME EXTENT

Thanks to everyone for your pieces of advice. It was really helpful.


cc Adesammy01 specimen23 eitsei
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by eitsei(m): 6:52am On Apr 01, 2017
CondomSir:


I had a discussion with her again last night..

This is what she said happened...

It was on march 4. My sister's boyfriend came in the evening and will be passing the night there. And whenever this happens, my girl will either sleep in other lodge mate's room or sleep at her friend's place. She was not in good terms with the lodge mate she used to stay with and decided to go to her friend's place. When she got to her friend's place, her friend's boyfriend was also around and will be passing the night there. Then she was about to go further to another friend's place when the guy's called came in.. Then she decided to go see him in his place and here him out(the guy was yet to ask her out but was always demanding to see her). Then when she got to his place, they had a long discussion which led to a kiss of about one minute which she later broke and went to the other friend's place to pass the night. She said she was carried away and hasn't even said yes to his proposal even till now. The school was already on vacation so she went back to Lagos the 2nd day.


Like I said earlier, the chat I stumbled on, which she has deleted earlier didn't give me enough evidence that they were already dating so I just decided to further whyn the guy to know how far they have gone..


The chat ensued when she was at home. The guy was saying she was missing her and felt like being with her and cuddling her and all that sweet rubbish..

Her reply were..
hmmm
missing me?
why will you be missing me?
what are you missing about me?
cuddling me? let my boyfriend catch you..

the guy told her he really loved her and asked if she loved him too

her reply was..

I don't even know what to say. Still thinking..


In another chat, the guy was saying he has missed her and can't wait to be with her again..

her reply was..

So that you can touch me, abi?
.
.
.
.


So, all this didn't give me enough details but I knew they were already doing something. I wanted to know what the guy was missing so much about her, and decided to chat him up. Then I learnt it was the kiss and her times with him..

I have decided to let it pass and continue with her considering that since the past four years, something like this has never happened. If it happened, I would have caught her then..

Thanks to everyone for your pieces of advice. It was really helpful.


cc Adesammy01 specimen23 eitsei
from the chat it's obvious she has feelings for the guy but just holding it up because of you.. I think she will be more careful now that you have caught her once, you may think nothing won't happen and a lot might happen ,it happens like that especially when a girl is very close to a guy I don't mean to say it's bad for her to have a male friend but the moment they started missing each other and they have already kissed once, you need to be watchful
Just tell her to reduce going to the guy's place more often especially alone, if she needs a best friend what more best friend does she need other you than her boyfriend and importantly prepare your mind for the worst so that in case things don't later work out between you two, you won't be hurt too much
It's also worth of notice she may regret her actions, come back to her senses and decide to be a faithful girlfriend once again, just give her the second chance.

1 Like

Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 7:09am On Apr 01, 2017
Op things will NEVER be the same again. Your trust has been betrayed which means the relationship is over. There is no love without trust

1 Like

Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 7:43am On Apr 01, 2017
eitsei:
from the chat it's obvious she has feelings for the guy but just holding it up because of you.. I think she will be more careful now that you have caught her once, you may think nothing won't happen and a lot might happen ,it happens like that especially when a girl is very close to a guy I don't mean to say it's bad for her to have a male friend but the moment they started missing each other and they have already kissed once, you need to be watchful
Just tell her to reduce going to the guy's place more often especially alone, if she needs a best friend what more best friend does she need other you than her boyfriend and importantly prepare your mind for the worst so that in case things don't later work out between you two, you won't be hurt too much
It's also worth of notice she may regret her actions, come back to her senses and decide to be a faithful girlfriend once again, just give her the second chance.

I will give her the second chance and also use my brain in case she may want to still try anything similar.. She is not really friends with the guy and I have told her to severe all manners of communication with him. If she still has a take in the relationship, she will take to all I said to her. Otherwise, time will tell anyway..

She has blocked the guy on WhatsApp and deleted his number. I know that is not an assurance that they won't meet again though..
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 7:43am On Apr 01, 2017
lovelygurl:
Op things will NEVER be the same again. Your trust has been betrayed which means the relationship is over. There is no love without trust

hmmmmm
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by eitsei(m): 8:40am On Apr 01, 2017
CondomSir:


I will give her the second chance and also use my brain in case she may want to still try anything similar.. She is not really friends with the guy and I have told her to severe all manners of communication with him. If she still has a take in the relationship, she will take to all I said to her. Otherwise, time will tell anyway..

She has blocked the guy on WhatsApp and deleted his number. I know that is not an assurance that they won't meet again though..
it may even be with another guy sef at least that was what my ex did
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 12:28pm On Apr 01, 2017
eitsei:
it may even be with another guy sef at least that was what my ex did

How old was your relationship with her? Do you think she wasn't dating anyone before she started with you? It might be that she was also cheating with you on another dude..

while she was begging me, she said things like she will not repeat such mistake again, that I could even go ahead and date someone else but I shouldn't leave her.

What could she even mean by this?
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by eitsei(m): 1:21pm On Apr 01, 2017
CondomSir:


How old was your relationship with her? Do you think she wasn't dating anyone before she started with you? It might be that she was also cheating with you on another dude..

while she was begging me, she said things like she will not repeat such mistake again, that I could even go ahead and date someone else but I shouldn't leave her.

What could she even mean by this?
it lasted for over a year and she was single before we started the relationship
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 1:43pm On Apr 01, 2017
eitsei:
it lasted for over a year and she was single before we started the relationship

I was her best friend for four years before the relationship started and during those four years of friendship, I got to know everything about her before starting a relationship with her.


I have forgiven her and we have moved on.. I hope it worths it eventually
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by specimen23(m): 9:02am On Apr 03, 2017
@op, you guys can still work things out.From the message you sent, you mentioned that you have been having a long distance relationship for a while. All these things also depends on how mature the two of you are, and what your specific plan for the relationship is. In a nutshell, you can stil work things out, but just remember to shine your eye, going forwards(i also dont think she should ever visit the dude again given the circumstances, you cant be sending a goat to visit a lion)
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by raydatluvs(m): 9:46am On Apr 03, 2017
There is never a logical justification for cheating. Don't allow anyone push the defence to you. I think one needs to be psychologically ready to handle relationships' high and low moments.

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Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by AdexAbbey(m): 10:20am On Apr 03, 2017
Hmmmm....


Same thing happened to me 2 months ago, mine was even worst cos she had sex with the guy but she cried & beg for forgiveness. She even involve my dad & her mum & they all beg me to forgive her which I did. But u know what? I retaliate not even up to 2 weeks.


When I did, she almost commit suicide & she was broken. In fact, since then she has caught me with 3 different gals & she always tell me how hurt she feels & I will apologise but the truth is that I feel nothing for her anymore & I always see her as a betrayal. I no longer care if she cheat or not cos the trust is no more there.

Bro, if u feel she deserve the second chance then give it a trial but don't put all your hope in her anymore.

1 Like

Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 10:48am On Apr 03, 2017
@ Op let me tell you something you already know ...

It is not trust for your significant other that keeps them from cheating on you . Its entirely up to them how they act when they are placed in what I call temptation island .

For me let me ask you a question ? If cheating wasn't taboo would you still stay with the person ? What advantages does this person give you ? Are they good for business ? The business of marriage I mean .

I think you should appreciate the fact that this has happened to you . It will teach you that nobody is yours .

I think every young person should have their heart broken until they learn that despite the fact that love is cool ...anything can happen .

You can't control whether your partner will cheat or not but you can control your own happiness and your destiny by concentrating on your goals and not your partner's phone .

I am not going to tell you to leave or stay that is entirely up to you . However welcome to the club .

Summarization - trust is relative , cheating go happen one way or the other , but how much is in your bank account ? This is your power .

1 Like

Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by FearlessDapsin(m): 12:06pm On Apr 03, 2017
You are on a long thing bro. Loyalty in a relationship is everything. Cut her off ASAP. undecided
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Seanjay(m): 1:10pm On Apr 03, 2017
CondomSir:
I had a discussion with her again last night..

This is what she said happened...

It was on march 4. My sister's boyfriend came in the evening and will be passing the night there. And whenever this happens, my girl will either sleep in other lodge mate's room or sleep at her friend's place. She was not in good terms with the lodge mate she used to stay with and decided to go to her friend's place. When she got to her friend's place, her friend's boyfriend was also around and will be passing the night there. Then she was about to go further to another friend's place when the guy's call came in.. Then she decided to go see him in his place and here him out(the guy was yet to ask her out but was always demanding to see her). Then when she got to his place, they had a long discussion which led to a kiss of about one minute which she later broke and went to the other friend's place to pass the night. She said she was carried away and hasn't even said yes to his proposal even till now. The school was already on vacation so she went back to Lagos the 2nd day.


Like I said earlier, the chat I stumbled on, which she has deleted earlier didn't give me enough evidence that they were already dating so I just decided to further whyn the guy to know how far they have gone..


The chat ensued when she was at home. The guy was saying he was missing her and felt like being with her and cuddling her and all that sweet rubbish..

Her reply were..
hmmm
missing me?
why will you be missing me?
what are you missing about me?
cuddling me? let my boyfriend catch you..

the guy told her he really loved her and asked if she loved him too

her reply was..

I don't even know what to say. Still thinking..


In another chat, the guy was saying he has missed her and can't wait to be with her again..

her reply was..

So that you can touch me, abi?
.
.
.
.


So, all this didn't give me enough details but I knew they were already doing something. I wanted to know what the guy was missing so much about her, and decided to chat him up. Then I learnt it was the kiss and her times with him..

I have decided to let it pass and continue with her considering that since the past four years, something like this has never happened. If it happened, I would have caught her then..

And I have warned her never to visit a guy in his place again or allow a long sensual discussion with a guy again..

EVEN IF THERE ARE THINGS SHE COVERED UP HERE AND DIDN'T REVEAL, THE THINGS SHE REVEALED ARE TRUTHFUL TO SOME EXTENT

Thanks to everyone for your pieces of advice. It was really helpful.


cc Adesammy01 specimen23 eitsei


My friend the day she kissed the other guy is the day you lost her, that step she took means she is comfortable around another guy, and the fact she even went to the said guy house in the night, do you actually know what happened, do you even know if they did it and told each other that it never happened and they will never tell anyone? my friend take my words today if you continue with her she will still do it again and your guys are already apart cause it seems like you are not in the same state and now after what happened you wont trust her again whenever you called her you will be asking different question like, where are you, who is with you, what are you doing right now, and you will always be very attentive to listen to her calls background to know if there is a guy there, and when you call her and heard a guys voice your heart will be beating so fast and different thoughts will filled your head that may be she is with someone else, or may be someone is even having it with her, in short you wont be able to trust her anymore and if you continue with her you will keep given yourself necessary heartache, even when you called her and she didnt pick up the calls your mind will be telling you otherwise..

So Brodami save yourself the problem and High BP over a girl just move on, DONT YOU KNOW THE SAYING WHICH SAYING WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED?....

GOODLUCK ORE.. wink

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Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Greenbullet(m): 1:18pm On Apr 03, 2017
FvckShiT:
there's no fúçking fúture,just keep fúçking her bro

keep fúçkiñg her
simple truth
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by Nobody: 1:57pm On Apr 03, 2017
FvckShiT:
there's no fúçking fúture,just keep fúçking her bro

keep fúçkiñg her
is everything about sex What will he gain from fucking her.grow up.




Lol we meet again.
Re: Please Advise Me... Can I Still Trust Her? by daviesblaze(m): 7:45pm On Aug 12, 2018
lovelygurl:
Op things will NEVER be the same again. Your trust has been betrayed which means the relationship is over. There is no love without trust
@op. this gurl just hurled you the bitter truth. what you make of it, is left to you undecided

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