Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,143,492 members, 7,781,476 topics. Date: Friday, 29 March 2024 at 03:06 PM

When She Says "I'm Taken" - Romance (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / When She Says "I'm Taken" (39753 Views)

When A Lady Says "I'm Not Ready To Suffer A Second Time" / Lady In Tears As She Says No To Her Boyfriend In Public Despite The Cameras(Pics / Kenyan Father And Daughter Caught Red-Handed Having Sex; Mother Says 'I'm Aware' (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by dopedude(m): 10:28am On Apr 24, 2017
Toks2008:
You ask an obviously unmarried lady out and she says "sorry I'm in a relationship" and many ladies will quickly change their status on their social media handle to...."in a relationship or Engaged" ...worse still some will go as far as putting up the pics of a man who is not yet officially theirs and I keep wondering what goes on in the minds of some ladies ..

Shall we call that being faithful or being naive?

Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage


Each time you tell a guy who asks you out that you are taken while still unmarried,you are simply shutting the door on yourself too soon and many ladies have shut out their husbands simply because they got carried away by an unserious man who is only good at mouthing their love and giving them forlorn hope.

Don't get it twisted, this is not about being unfaithful to that particular guy you truly desire but it is about tactfully leaving your options open by not flaunting him on or offline thereby driving away possibly more willing suitors.

Many ladies remain taken for years without wedding bells and I have seen several ladies who have been engaged for years.

The bottom line is that you should stop flaunting any guy you are courting and only flaunt your husband

Ladies should stop blocking their chance cos In the real world...there is no in between and there is no such word like "I'm taken" while you are still unmarried.

You are either single or married

Don't know if this makes sense.

Imagine u r in a serious relationship with a girl whom you have engaged, and she is being open to other options as you said, how would you feel if you find out?
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by loswhite(m): 10:30am On Apr 24, 2017
Toks2008:


When you tactfully leave your options open,it does not mean you will start sleeping with different men..
you don't need to sleep with a man begin you build emotional attachment or are u not aware of that?
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 10:30am On Apr 24, 2017
refiner:

Only if u stop being uptight...that emoji there meant i was only joking with u...

Bye.

Nah.... u go edit the message....put yeye mog there.. smiley
make me too edit my own.... cheesy

but stop all this english wen u dey form sha. e dey pain me for body cos i no sabi how to speak am like u grin
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by loswhite(m): 10:33am On Apr 24, 2017
GodblessNig247:
Somebody did that to me here. I keep wondering, so I helped her to operationalize the word 'taken'.
so u come to Nairaland to look for babe? Smh get a life
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by loswhite(m): 10:36am On Apr 24, 2017
obi58:


Buffoon. It's pple like you who promote infidelity in relationships
they hate it when a girl turn them down telling them that they are in relationship all this are manipulative techniques. As woman follow your instinct

1 Like

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by loswhite(m): 11:03am On Apr 24, 2017
pepemendy:
foolish girls plenty 4 naija sotey, I met one fool last month, I neva woo her she don day tell me say she get boo, I con free the idiot, this lovely morning she just call say she won greet me, I told her too come over to my place so we can talk better, I fvck the biitch twice
with this write up you are also very foolish well birds of the same feather
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by refiner(f): 11:49am On Apr 24, 2017
TheLordIsGr8:


Nah.... u go edit the message....put yeye mog there.. smiley
make me too edit my own.... cheesy

but stop all this english wen u dey form sha. e dey pain me for body cos i no sabi how to speak am like u grin
Lol...i no mind to speak pidgin with u sha...u know as babes...we need to form small sha cheesy

So u no dey vex for me now abi? grin
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 11:51am On Apr 24, 2017
Oladokunst:



Well said. But you are sharing your grieve not advise, a lady is not yours until you marry her fine,we agree,so also a man is not yours until you are married.so why grief over what's not yours? Abi.

But for people who are faithful in there relationship and they share common goals and have big dreams together
,they already own each other, its not about the ring or showing up on the altar .
So open your eyes, choose wisely .
dont use your own mistake to poison innocent minds.

If it doesn't work for you,that doesnt mean its bad. Thats just your own luck.
hehehehhehe, I knew you would take that line of defense, but let's be honest,what I have said is the bitter truth, Its not about poisoning innocent minds but letting others know whats obtainable out there and making the right decision that favours them after all it is wise to learn from experience but more wiser to learn from other people's experience.
They already own each other you say?please do us all a favor and tell us by which standard according to the law or culture?, let's stop being sentimental
finally, the only exception should be when the guy in question knows the value of loyalty, which brings me to my next question,how many guys out there and even on this thread, can put their hands up that they have been faithful to their current gf or partner?,you can't expect loyalty when you don't give loyalty, just like you guys say you don't move around with xrays to know the inner beauty of a woman, so also women dont move around with xrays to know faithful men.
And by the way, I am not grieving over what is not mine, infact you shot yourself in the foot there, nobody owns anybody, the woman has a biological clock and she is more at a disadvantage should the relationship go south, so I think you will agree with me that she needs to keep her options open so as not to get her time wasted since she (in your own words) doesn't own the guy either until he puts a ring on it

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 11:56am On Apr 24, 2017
refiner:

Lol...i no mind to speak pidgin with u sha...u know as babes...we need to form small sha cheesy

So u no dey vex for me now abi? grin

grin
who say u no b correct babe ehn....

the thunder that will ehn..ehn... is still looking for whistle to blow. shocked

how u dey na?
make i see whether i fit toast u small and get your number. kiss
no tell me no oooo. I no dey like am at all

abeg tell me which kind words dey bust your head, and wen be ur birthday? i want buy u whistle. tongue
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 12:01pm On Apr 24, 2017
NoToPile:


You are right even biblically too, the marriage process starts once you seek the consent thats when you can even start laying claim that she is yours

The reason why these issues are springing forth is because things are not done the way it used to be, in most Nigerian cultures theres nothing like dating, now its a different thing entirely.

It used to be boy sees girl, boy tells his parents , his family go to seek the hand of the girl (parents may ask the girl of she likes the boy) if yes deal is signed, A date is chosen, and the period between when the consent of the parents is sought and the wedding ceremony proper is the courtship, they meet in a public place or properly chaperoned.

That setting no longer exist, now people date and then court .

One of the major things that cause trouble for ladies is relationship flaunting especially on social media.


blunt!, most guys here are just being sentimental about the issue, because it places them at a disadvantage for free access until they are ready to settle with someone else, but the blunt truth is there is no standing rule anywhere that accepts bf and gf relationship as being legal or exclusive, if a lady decides to be loyal to a guy,it should be because he has earned it,and not because they are dating, of which in all honesty,only a very minute percentage of men know what loyalty means

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by refiner(f): 12:01pm On Apr 24, 2017
TheLordIsGr8:


grin
who say u no b correct babe ehn....

the thunder that will ehn..ehn... is still looking for whistle to blow. shocked

how u dey na?
make i see whether i fit toast u small and get your number. kiss
no tell me no oooo. I no dey like am at all
Lol...i dey oo...u nko?

Toast me?...i no be bread nah...or i resemblr brrad for ur eye...u no fit toast me na oga... wink
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 12:14pm On Apr 24, 2017
refiner:

Lol...i dey oo...u nko?

Toast me?...i no be bread nah...or i resemblr brrad for ur eye...u no fit toast me na oga... wink

I fine jor.

I dey work. Computer wen dem carry give me dey slow like say recession hol am. So I just dey console myself for NL cool

Haba!!! no be woman u be? woman wen dey soft like today bread smiley


i know say u dey wait for me to pm u now, but what a man can do a woman can do .... u know d story na wink

abeg no derail this thread ooo so try do d needful. kiss
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Toks2008(m): 12:15pm On Apr 24, 2017
dopedude:


Imagine u r in a serious relationship with a girl whom you have engaged, and she is being open to other options as you said, how would you feel if you find out?

I will marry her and close other options.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by firstking01(m): 12:20pm On Apr 24, 2017
loswhite:
lol... you love old days maybe u should get a donkey or a horse to ride on. marriage guarantees nothing. What works for u may not work for someone else. My advice to lady follow your instinct. You can say I am taken and u get to the Alter with that guy on the other hand u can keep your options open and still not get to the Alter afterall most of the guys that wishing u keep options open are actually selfish some feel they can just buy a woman. Trust your instinct.
I for one if you keep your options open I will also keep my options open so don't expect high level commitment chikena
Marriage guarantees nothing and you fell from the sky abi?...the way some of you think eh, @times i just feel like giving up(this one weak me)....so, God that instituted it was foolish?, smh....marry the right person and for the right reason and your mentality about marriage will change.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by FILEBE(m): 1:19pm On Apr 24, 2017
Toks2008:


I get where you are coming from but isn't it high time we told ourselves some home made truth?

What is this trash about dating and courtship sef? how long our mama and papa court if they even did?

Please let's face it...this courtship and dating thing is becoming boring...no lady should go into any affair if she is not ready to settle down and no guy has any reason to court a lady above a year except the girl just wants to waste her time or be a sex partner

Toks2008:


I get where you are coming from but isn't it high time we told ourselves some home made truth?

What is this trash about dating and courtship sef? how long our mama and papa court if they even did?

Please let's face it...this courtship and dating thing is becoming boring...no lady should go into any affair if she is not ready to settle down and no guy has any reason to court a lady above a year except the girl just wants to waste her time or be a sex partner

ehn ehn. We seem to be saying the same thing here. You are not just putting it right. Simply say: Lady, move along if you see no future with your boyfriend. If you are in a relationship, you talk to him, advice him if the need be . If he changes and you see him working towards it, support him and you guys should work things together. Not all of us are ready made. We have to struggle to be made and a lady who stays with us through the thick and thin is the one we respect.
Or simply put it this way:
LADIES. USE YOUR HEAD NOT YOUR BODY
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Josephamstrong1(m): 2:14pm On Apr 24, 2017
Oga Toks, if ur woman had been double dating. Do u tnk u would have settled wt her?
Sometimes you contradict yourself with most of your write-ups.
Mitschww

1 Like

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Josephamstrong1(m): 2:23pm On Apr 24, 2017
FILEBE:




ehn ehn. We seem to be saying the same thing here. You are not just putting it right. Simply say: Lady, move along if you see no future with your boyfriend. If you are in a relationship, you talk to him, advice him if the need be . If he changes and you see him working towards it, support him and you guys should work things together. Not all of us are ready made. We have to struggle to be made and a lady who stays with us through the thick and thin is the one we respect.
Or simply put it this way:
LADIES. USE YOUR HEAD NOT YOUR BODY

You've said it all man... Ignore that guy.
Wonder why mods don't scrutinise write-ups before publishing on FP.
Abeg take ds...

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by ronald4lif(m): 2:26pm On Apr 24, 2017
Hmmm not until you see your girlfriend cheating on you you'll realise it's not as easy like you put it.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by loswhite(m): 2:49pm On Apr 24, 2017
firstking01:
Marriage guarantees nothing and you fell from the sky abi?...the way some of you think eh, @times i just feel like giving up(this one weak me)....so, God that instituted it was foolish?, smh....marry the right person and for the right reason and your mentality about marriage will change.
you are so dumb. Marriage doesn't guarantee childbirth Incase if u don't ppl give birth to children with or without marriage. The God said that marriage is compulsory? Why did Jesus not get married? You are the one that is foolish and cannot understand simple English. MARRIAGE guarantees nothing.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by queenbetsy(f): 3:12pm On Apr 24, 2017
davidif:


and you wonder why some women are so confused when its time to settle down because they have been living a life of deceit all this time dating juggling multiple men. Some of you deserve your fate.
seriously, you are not getting it...
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by queenbetsy(f): 3:47pm On Apr 24, 2017
godman01:

You'll surely be misled, if you're planning on following sure advice.
seriously??
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by firstking01(m): 3:53pm On Apr 24, 2017
loswhite:
you are so dumb. Marriage doesn't guarantee childbirth Incase if u don't ppl give birth to children with or without marriage. The God said that marriage is compulsory? Why did Jesus not get married? You are the one that is foolish and cannot understand simple English. MARRIAGE guarantees nothing.
Lol, why the rage?...if marriage guarantees nothing why are you even in existence huh....from this your blind and dumb mindset i can conclude that you are a product of an un-stable and broken home, well, sorry about that sha...


Note the following for your own good so you won't continue to wallow in foolery and ignorance(that's if you are a christian in the first place) cool.


1. For this purpose a man shall leave his father and mother and cleev to his wife and the both shall become one flesh....Gen 2:24....


2. He who finds a wife finds a GOOD THING and obtains FAVOUR from the lord....so, from the above statement one of the things you are guaranteed of is "favour" and "good thing"....



The no 1 point God said in the garden of eden that "it's not good for the man to be alone, HE created the woman eve after HE made adam to fall into a deep sleep and when the man woke up he looked at the woman and said, "indeed this is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh, and he called her "WOMAN"....this is were the statement emanated from, for this purpose a man shall leave his father and mother and shall hold unto his wife and the two shall become one....i took out time to spare you this knowledge to show you that GODHIMSELF Instituted and approved marriage....lest i forget, the woman is "supposed" to be a helpmeet for the man but because people like you and maybe the people and family you 've surrounded yourself with made a mistake while chosing a wife and today the effect is taking a negative toll on you and left you with the mindset and believe that marriage guarantees nothing....so, i believe you won't make mistake why chosen a life partner in jesus name....amen cool.


At the no 2 point....Marriage guarantees you not just good thing and favour but all round blessings dependind also the kinda woman you marry....still have alot to write but go home with this and next time be mindful of the kinda words you use on people....


Have a nice day cool.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by GodblessNig247(m): 4:11pm On Apr 24, 2017
loswhite:
so u come to Nairaland to look for babe? Smh get a life

U should be the one to get a life cos u don't know how to talk to ur elders. Do I look like your mate?
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by sweetilicious(f): 5:56pm On Apr 24, 2017
Once a lady is really taken she should let other well wishers know.You don't expect ladies to loosen themselves and accept every Tom,Dick and Harry like they are intimacy gadgets.Even if she is not taken,i think being alone till you meet the one is the best for your vagina and your health.
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by adajoe555: 6:08pm On Apr 24, 2017
Booked
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by PastorandMentor(m): 6:28pm On Apr 24, 2017
Please send me your number
adajoe555:
Booked
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Nobody: 7:10pm On Apr 24, 2017
Toks, I actually think you have a point here. I agree with your premise to certain extent.

It is not to say to sleep with a lot of men etc, but to know any guy can bail on you at any time and and be prepared if/when it happens.

Gosh, sometimes even after marriage, men check out- as in physically present but emotionally or mentally absent.


Addendum: the potential drawback to your proposition toks, is that it would cause people to 'hurry' up or 'hasten' the process of courtship, which defeats the purpose ("time" required for due diligence etc...). The result? Microwaved courtship & wedding = disaster marriage.

Women should not play games (by flirting with other men) when they are in a serious relationship just so they can get the man to 'hurry' up and propose marriage.

Men should not play games by staying in holding pattern (for no reason) and commit to marriage.

In short people should not waste time, but they should not short cut time. Get it? Fine balance.

Tit for tat. Goes both ways.

1 Like

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by godman01(m): 8:26pm On Apr 24, 2017
queenbetsy:
seriously??
I would rather tell you to say Yes to the man that sincerely knows that the relationship at the very beginning is to get married to you, and not to test. With that there won't be any question of showing him off or not. The very fact that many relationship these days starts with no purpose or rather the wrong one, is the more reason for many heartbreaks. Selah

1 Like

Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Pearl005(f): 9:24pm On Apr 24, 2017
Toks2008:


My point exactly....but must you sing it that you are in a relationship? what relationship if I may ask? dating or courtship? whoever created those terms understand that it is a way of still saying I'm single....If you are not single then you are married...

Tell a guy you fancy you can be friends ....simple...that is a smart way of keeping your options open rather than shutting the door on yourself with a guy who is not married to you by flaunting him and singing it to every guy that you are taken...who take you?
OMG!!! you guys should just make up your mind already.... So, you want HER to mention "friendship" after which you will be shouting Friendzoning Upandan !
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Toks2008(m): 10:35pm On Apr 24, 2017
Pearl005:
OMG!!! you guys should just make up your mind already.... So, you want HER to mention "friendship" after which you will be shouting Friendzoning Upandan !

Na WA o..so this write up is so complex to decipher....

Keeping your option open simply means not flaunting your present Bae and it's not about double dating or sleeping around...
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by FILEBE(m): 11:18pm On Apr 24, 2017
Josephamstrong1:


You've said it all man... Ignore that guy.
Wonder why mods don't scrutinise write-ups before publishing on FP.
Abeg take ds...


Dammmmmmn! Baba. you too much. Abeg, I go fit see some carry go house?
Re: When She Says "I'm Taken" by Adanne9110(f): 3:55am On Apr 25, 2017
But come to think of this,how will a lady be trust worthy to a man without saying "NO" to others? The same set of people thatwill say trust no lady,will still come out to say "why did you say no to the second man..in summary,are u encouraging ladies to double date,cos i cant imagine a man meeting his girl in a fastfood with another man ans gladly call it a harmless date,definately not a naija man.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)

Pre-Wedding Photos Of Couple Who Met At NYSC Camp. From Camp Boyfriend To Fiance / Lady Punishes Boyfriend; Orders Him To Write ‘I Won’t Cheat No More’ 224 Times / Two Women Fight Over A Man In Kenya Again (Photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 74
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.