@cute_ass

"Give to Ceaser what is Ceaser's and to God what is his". Each of them is just as important as the other in my own opinion

If I rightly interpreted your statement, you seem to imply that God is not involved in a "traditional" marriage ceremony. This is not necessarily correct. If you accept that the important element of this process is to "honour your father and mother" - and this is a way of honouring them -  then God is certainly involved in the process. Certainly more than in a church wedding that is in dishonour to the parents and in direct violation of God's principles.

You are however correct that neither is more important; both stages of wedding are in fulfilment of God's requirement of respect of authority. The important element in both cases is the perceived consent, and hence honour, of the parents and/or guardians (whichever applies wherever).

The difference between the two events is the the basis of the covenant between the couple - the church wedding attempts to supply that which is missing (and replace certain unacceptable elements) in the "traditional" event. This directly leads to my answer to the question.

@Question

If I absolutely had to choose one event, I would do a modified "traditional" wedding with all the important elements of a church wedding, and without any of the unacceptable elements of a "traditional" wedding.

BOTH!
BOTH!!
BOTH!!!

both no doubt
but if we have limited fund, i will certainly go for church

whats the point spending all our saving for weddn
and then start afresh?

me i go apply serious economics to determine what is actually necessary.

will be glad to do the two
but wont be disappointed not too, may be a little sad

hey man i think i will go for the both but if i should take one,i think traditional marriage is the best, [flash=200,200][/flash]

i'd like to do both but if i can't  do both,
i'd do the traditional then.the other can be done later,

I don't agree with this statement. My uncle wedded in a catholic church many years before he did the traditional ceremony.  They did not have the finances to do the two at the same time and the bride's father requested that they post pone the trad. The only thing I know is that many churches require proof of the girl's family consent and performance of the traditional rites usually suffices

Atleast the bride's parents gave their consent or you want to tell me he did not pay the bride price before the church wedding? I'm certain Catholic Church will not wed you without this be done.

Traditional marriage is the real wedding, more cheaper and makes the wife to be really commited to her husband, while the White weding is just a ceremonial thing, so uneccessarily expensive,makes wife uncommited to their husband in the name of modernization.

African way if your wife commit adultery she will have some sicfkness of problems that will make her confess with her own mouth,while such thing does not exist in the white wedding, that why 99% of todays women are flirting around,especially when their husband is not well to do financially.

So Tradition wedding is our Root and should be encourage by every real and bonafide African.

Back to my roots:
Traditional all the way.

Traditional wedding should be highly encourage in Africa today, is it due to this useless white wedding that many men are not yet married cos is too expensive and meaningless,if trafditional wedding can just be the only wedding I assured you that 95% of men will rush to get married thereby reducing the alarming rate of our unmarried sisters in the society,girls are suffering because of this, no man wants to marry them, yet they are the one to first tell you they want a white wedding knowing fully well there is no money,and when the man finally find a girl who is satisfy with only traditional wedding the former girl will cry her heart out, cos she is becoming an OTANAKA NNE in igbo language which means she who got stuck in her mothers hand without getting married.

All this is what civilisation has course on us all whether we like it, accept it or not.

Ususally people do both. Why do you want to choose either? If its financial then i understand. I would suggest you do the white wedding. At least in the sight of God and even the State you are presumed married. For traditional if its so damn compulsory get the necessary parties your parents and parent in-laws and do the thing. Say about 15people or even 10. You wouldnt spend so much that way.

Its tradional baby.
A modified one with a pastor to do the necessary marriage blessing.
I don't understand y all the money is spent on a less than 12-hour event. People
will only remember it for one week, and then you spend years trying
to pay-off incurred debt.
Penny wise pound foolish!

If our people can be truthful for just once to themselves, they will confess that too money been wasted in our african marriages,and later put the family or the man in question in debth that could have been avoided. and think of the alarming rate of unwanted pregnancy due to the fact that men are running like BEN JOHNSON not to get themselves in such a debth.and yet everyone complains.

Why not scrap that useless expenses? Even in some cases marriages don't last more than one year after all the money wasted. Some don't even produce a child, they man or woman has to go outside to get a child. what a senseless Culture. Traditional won't put anyone in debth.

i would go 4 all cos in d traditional marriage, without ur families consenting to ur marriage, d marriage will never work, even d church will not agree 2 wed both of u. the white wedding can come later, since it's just 2 let the public know u r getting married, although u need d hand of God by a pastor to bless d marriage. also, d court marriage is important cos it makes a woman have full right in the marriage, in case of divorce or death in future, knowing fully well, what our nigerian culture is.

The traditional marriage is the real stuff.The white wedding is just for ceremonial sake.For me I'll request the attendance of a pastor in my traditional marriage.Kpom.

The Traditional is the wedding proper,even b4 d advent of the white men, I prefer it better dan White wedding

If I could reverse the hands of time, I would not have gone through either the traditional or the white wedding. As far as I am concerned, the best way is to meet your partner, get your parents to bless you guys and thats it. Chikena

Both are mutually exclusive. Reason; by the traditional wedding, u've performed the customary rites required for the marriage ( the peoples' mandate),but by crowning it with the white (church) wedding,u're entrusting ur union into God's hand.So one can't stand for the other.

Errr
Now-a-days both are necessary
So, I would do both
Maybe even 3
1-Traditional
2- White here
3- White NY

Beline:


Atleast the bride's parents gave their consent or you want to tell me he did not pay the bride price before the church wedding? I'm certain Catholic Church will not wed you without this be done.

He did not. In fact when the woman's parents were proving difficult at the traditional wedding, my Dad who led the family walked out telling them that he would not even pay what  they were asking for a virgin.  

Hi guys, you all have to understand that before any marriage can be real, both parent must give their blessing and this is done during the traditional wedding wish most people called engagement todays. After this, every other things that follows are just to show and to fufill some obligation of some beleives. There is no othet wedding like the traditional wedding.

@ne4real: Yes a pastor may be there, but we must all make sure that the pastor we are inviting to our various weddings is a REAL PASTOR or real man of GOD,not people like KING Jesus who burn his fellowers. or those juju pastor, they will only bring curses on the couple why prayer and inciting their incantations.

For not to go into problems like that,Tradition is still the best, in the traditional wedding GOD is also present in the UNION.

When you people talk of pastor, what are the QUALIFICATIONS that makes him or what are the proves that show that he is really a man of GOD?

Traditional marriage. There is nothing like white wedding.

I WILL CHOOSE BOTH,ALL IS IMPORTANT EVEN JESUS SAID WE SHOULD GIVE WHAT BELONG TO CEASER TO CEASER AS AN AFRICAN GIRL I WILL TAKE THE TRADITIONAL FRIST SO TO FULFILL ALL RIGTHEOUSNESS WITH MY FOREFATHERS AND TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE FROM ALL NEGATIVE PART OF OR CUSTOM AND CULTURE.

THE WHITE WEDDING WHICH IS KNOWN AS THE CHURCH WEDDING WILL LATER TAKE PLACE TO INVITE JESUS INTO OUR MIST AND BETTER STILL TO UPHOLD THE RIGHT OF THE WOMAN WHEN ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THE HUSBAND.

with all these white weddings and traditional weddings, and court weddings, if nigeria was like america where by people had credit cards and 401ks, we all would be in debt definately.

Why are people saying that a church will not "wed" you if you dont do a traditional wedding?

What bush church is that? Are you saying everyone who isnt Nigerian or African arent really married because they dont do traditional weddings?

I respect white wedding anytime anyday.

Both to balance the eqilibrum,

I WILL CHOOSE BOTH,ALL IS IMPORTANT EVEN JESUS SAID WE SHOULD GIVE WHAT BELONG TO CEASER TO CEASER AS AN AFRICAN GIRL I WILL TAKE THE TRADITIONAL FRIST SO TO FULFILL ALL RIGTHEOUSNESS WITH MY FOREFATHERS AND TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE FROM ALL NEGATIVE PART OF OR CUSTOM AND CULTURE.

THE WHITE WEDDING WHICH IS KNOWN AS THE CHURCH WEDDING WILL LATER TAKE PLACE TO INVITE JESUS INTO OUR MIST AND BETTER STILL TO UPHOLD THE RIGHT OF THE WOMAN WHEN ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THE HUSBAND.




@HOPE: if you said that Jesus SAID WE SHOULD GIVE WHAT BELONG TO CEASER TO CEASER AS AN AFRICAN GIRL I WILL TAKE THE TRADITIONAL FRIST SO TO FULFILL ALL RIGTHEOUSNESS WITH MY FOREFATHERS AND TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE FROM ALL NEGATIVE PART OF OR CUSTOM AND CULTURE. why are you not accepting also the African way of worship? so as to fullfill all rightheousness with your forefathers, AND Why must it be a man that something will happen to why not the woman?? so you think wedding in the church will uphold your right in your matrimonial home?

Traditional wedding as it sound is only a tradition.  Any Christian in the House? If you do traditional wedding without Church wedding or meeting a man of God to pray and bless the marriage, and you went ahead to sleep with your spouse, it is fornication.

The two weddings are mere jamborees. The most important is for a man of God to declare both spouse as husband and wife (I DO  ). I know people like parties and showoffs. As long both parents have agreed to allow the marriage, u can simply meet a man of God or an Immam to do the joining with few witnesses from both sides. Save some dough and stop being African.

As for me, I don't give a damn about both. But if forced to choose one, I'll go for church wedding.

Don't deceive yourself, anythin outside of this is FORNICATION.

See, if u are in this house and u're more than 30years and not married, be expecting a sanction. Seun are u with me.

Ciao!!!

Echidime:

so you think wedding in the church will uphold your right in your matrimonial home?

If you go outside of Nigeria with just traditional done, how exactly do you intend to show PROOF that you two are married? Perhaps you intend to show everyone a picture of a calabash or kolanut as proof that you two are married in the eyes of the law?

in as much i would do traditional marriage at least to please my folks and all, but if i dont do it doesnt mean i didnt get my parents blesings!
whats traditional in the ''traditional wedding " anyways? wanna know what real african culture is : nudity!
the clothes we wearing was introduced by the white missionaries,
So this talk of traditional marriage being our culture and Church wedding being the white man culture is baseless.

screw this im just going to down 6 bottles of tequila and get married in vegas, then call my folks back home and tell them the good news. that way i would have saved my boyfriend the bride price money and saved my parents the white wedding expenses (ha and my folks said i was a good for nothing daughter)