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Pls I Need Help - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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Pls I Need Help by herlarho(m): 10:22pm On Apr 24, 2017
Salamun alykum, my problem is DAT o have being marstubating for d past 4 years or more and I want to stop it what will I do nd o know it is a sin but am addicted to it pls help me I don't want to go to hell
Re: Pls I Need Help by herlarho(m): 6:54am On Apr 25, 2017
Nobody saw dis tread abi
Re: Pls I Need Help by Alennsar(f): 5:07pm On Apr 25, 2017
Abdulkabir abuhammad and others pls help your brother
Re: Pls I Need Help by Empiree: 6:08pm On Apr 25, 2017
couple of threads have been opened on his subject by more than one person. I know albaqir have a topic on it. Search for it in his profile
Re: Pls I Need Help by Nobody: 6:24pm On Apr 25, 2017
Alennsar:
Abdulkabir abuhammad and others pls help your brother

If not that I opened this thread, I wouldn't have seen this mention and same goes for Abu Hammad......it should be Abdelkabir and AbuHammaad.....


Now to the op, herlarho....there are many ways to stop this act if you really want to stop it....first of All you need Allaah cus only Allaah has such power, that's why you'll be needing this dua;

اللهم اغفر ذنبي وطهر قلبي وحصن فرجي

Allaahumag fir dhanbee, wa tohhir qolbi, wa hassin farjee...

Oh Allaah forgive my sins and cleanse my heart and guard my private part...


Secondly, this most effective solution is to get married....

If you don't have the ability then LOWER YOUR GAZE, Wallaahi, lowering the gaze is so so so effective, I repeat WAllaahi, lowering the gaze is so so so effective.....lowering the gaze includes, don't look at women that are making a wanton display of their adornment, don't look at porn, don't look at movies where immorality is promoted such as Bollywood, Hollywood, nollywood, whatever wood, don't look at them, don't look at beautiful women pictures on Facebook or anywhere, if you can lower your gaze, insha Allaah your problem will be solved....

Fast the sunnah fasting of Mondays and Thursdays, 13th, 14th and 15th of the Islamic months calendar.....

You can also occupy yourself with learning beneficial knowledge..... Read the Qur'an and try to know the meaning frequently....

May Allaah help you....

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Re: Pls I Need Help by Nobody: 6:28pm On Apr 25, 2017
I once opened a thread on THIS ISSUE

we have seen fatwas that subtly permit masturbation, but the haqq(truth) is, it is impermissible as Allâh says;

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

certainly, the believers will succeed.

الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ

They who are during their prayer are humbled

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ

Those who shun away from.vain talks

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ فَاعِلُونَ

those who give alms to thethe poor.

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ

And they who guard their private parts

إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ

Except from their wives or those their right hands possess(from the war booties), for indeed, they will not be blamed.

فَمَنِ ابْتَغَىٰ وَرَاءَ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ

But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors


So masturbation is a No-go area, now here are some useful tips that will help you if Allâh wills and if you really want to leave the filthy act.


1.) Go and get married

2.) if you dont have the capability of getting married you should start fasting voluntarily, mondays and Thursdays, 13,14 and 15th days of Islamic months should also be fasted, apart from the fact that it will help you, it will also uplift you spiritually.

3.) look at your salâh and see if you are praying it right, does it have khushoo' i.e humility? because salâh should prevent you from evil, if we look at the salafs(the first three generations of Muslims that are free fron deviance), what elevated them to the high station they got spiritually? its their salâh, they performed it as it should be performed. if you don't know its proper rulings, pls learn it, so your prayer would be OK and at long run prevent you from evil.

4.) say this dua which the prophet said for a young man against zina اللهم اغفر ذنبي و طهر قلبي و حصن فرجي, Allâhumagfir dhanbee wa tohhir qolbee wa hassin farjee, O Allâh forgive my sins, and cleanse my heart and protect my private part. After the prophet said this dua for the young man, this stopped him from committing zina.

5.) lower your gaze!! don't be looking at what you are not supposed to look at, WAllâhi this will go a long way helping you, delete all those useless porn you have on your phones and laptops, dont be looking at girls pictures on whatsapp or NL or facebook, etc. and vice versa.

6.) start learning the deen, if you are busy learning, you wont have time to think of masturbation.

7.) If you know your problem start when you are alone, then avoid being alone.


I hope this helps, try these out and see the results being positive if Allâh wills.

salâm aleikom.

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Re: Pls I Need Help by AbuHammaad: 7:49pm On Apr 25, 2017
Ah I'm just seeing it oh. Abdelkabir has posted some very beneficial gems.

Let me also add:

Imo, this is more of an health issue than a religious issue so I doubt you'd get the best advices here.

That said, we can always apply common sense. I think acts like this are mostly caused by boredom. Idle mind is the devil's workshop like they say.

The best advice I can give you is to find more something more positive to do to instead. Something that makes you busy, something that makes you happy. We all have different coping mechanisms.

Read the Quran, listen to some Islamic lectures, get some Islamic magazines like An-Naseehah, go to the mosque and meet new people, go to Halqah, go outside and chat with people, exercise, go to a restaurant and have some good meals.

These are things that can keep your mind off the negatives. It's all about finding a more positive replacement really.

Also, it could also be the regular sexual thirst which we all go through occasionally and it's you finding it difficult to suppress it. This is one of the countless reasons why early marriage is recommended. You should get married if you think you have what it takes to do so

May Allah make it easy for you.

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Re: Pls I Need Help by AlBaqir(m): 7:52pm On Apr 25, 2017
Empiree:
couple of threads have been opened on his subject by more than one person. I know albaqir have a topic on it. Search for it in his profile

AlBaqir:


In His Name The Most High
Blessing upon Muhammad and his purified household.

First, it has nothing to do with the Jinn. Its a usual practice turning into a vice as the brother himself opined he's being practicing it for a long time. Its a free-will act (aid by shaytan's deceit).

Second, the brother should realize it is haram and anything haram is a major sin and liable to punishment except one seek forgiveness and abstain from it. Besides, he should realize its a degrading practice which affect one's psychological and spiritual stability.

There's no doubt he's deriving pleasure in this sinful act and even if he later get married, there's a possibility he will continue this act thereby destroying his home. And besides there's tendency the trait is passed down to his kid. Are these the kind of life he want for himself? I pray for Allah's mercy on him.

Recommendations
1. Purification of Intention and self admonition - Has he ever ask himself why he persist doing this act? If it is seeking pleasure, then he should make it known to himself :
“The believers are… those
who protect their sexual organs except from their spouses… Therefore, whosoever seeks more beyond that [in sexual gratification], then they are the transgressors.”
(23:5-6)

Will he continue to transgress upon Allah's set limits? And if the punishment design for the transgressors descends, can he handle it? He needs to admonish himself constantly.

Here, I recommend him to recite every after salat:
"Yaa Dalelal mutahayyireen - O Guide of the waylaid"
~He should recite this as many times as he can with full concentration but should make it a fixed number. Before that, he should do the following: (i). 'Astaghfirullah wa 'tubu illayhi' - 70times (ii). Allahuma sali ala Muhammad wa a'ahli Muhammad - 100times.

2. Seeking Allah's protection from Shaytan
Does he always satisfy with himself after the act? There is no doubt its a whisper of Shaytan, and a call by his Nafs (soul)towards perdition; and he too continuously yielding the call, and probably regret after it. Then, go back to the sin, feel remorse and repent, and again...and again...

According to Qur'an, this is "self-reproaching soul" - an-Nafs Lawamah (mention in sura al-Qiyamah)! And if care is not taken, it can transform to an-Nafs Amara (doomed soul). And if care is taken, it can transform to Nafs Mutmahina (pure-satisfied soul). The choice is ours!

Here, nothing is better than taking refuge in Allah with constant recitation of the following (especially before going to bed):
(I) - Audhu billahi mina shaytani Rajim (100)
(II) - Qul auzu bi Rabil falaq...(3times)
(III) - Qul auzu bi Rabi Nas...(3times)
Then, say:
"In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

O Allah, (please do) send blessings to Muhammad and the household of Muhammad

(All) praise is for Allah; praise belongs to Him (alone) and answers the purpose, even frequent, too much and long (time) praise is necessary, and is a duty.

I take refuge with Him from the corruption of desires and passions, indeed (vain) desires and (carnal) passions would lead astray unto evil, if not my Lord is merciful (to me); I take refuge with Him, from the evil of the devil, who piles high sins, one upon another; I guard (myself), with His help, against every cruel wrongdoers, unjust ruler, and harmful adversary.

O my Allah! Make me a part of Thy flock, because surely Thy flock (alone) wins; take me in among the group of people dedicated to Thee, because beyond the shadow of doubt, Thy party (alone) makes progress, make room for me among Thy friends, because certainly for Thy friends there is no fear, nor they dismay or lose confidence.

O my Allah, let me answer the purpose of (my) religion, because nothing else but this alone guarantee success in my works; make my eternal life (here- after) blissful, because at all events it will be my permanent abode, a sanctuary-away from the vile and the worthless (mean world); let me live a life that fully absorbs good and beauty, every where, at all times, let me die a death that sets me free (happy and blessed) from every kind of evil. O my Allah send blessing on Muhammad, the Last Prophet, the culmination of all Messengers, on his pure and pious children, on his noble companions, and grant me in this hour... three favours. Do not take up the account of my sins, but to overlook them, donot put me in difficulties, but to overcome them, donot be hard and severe, except to curb the
transgression, in the name of "Bismillah" the Best of names. In the name of Allah, the Lord of the earth, and the heavens, I keep off and drive away everything which is ugly and bad, worst of all is His displeasure. I collect and gather everything which is beautiful and good, best of all is His pleasure; so be kind and merciful when my time comes, O He Who owns and distributes favours freely!

O Allah! Send blessing on Muhammad and on the children of Muhammad."


This is the Du'a of tuesday (modified), of Imam 'Ali ibn Hussain, Zainul Abideen (as).
Source: as-Sahifat Sajjadiyah (The Psalms of the prostrators).

NB: If the Arabic is needed, please indicate.

3. Before going to bed, he should make it a routine practice to perform wudhu (ablution), then recite Tasbih Zahra i.e
- Allahu akbar 34
- Alhamdulillah 33
- Subhan'Allah 33.

Once on the bed, he should try to change the subject of his mind and try to think of something positive outside 's.exual desires'. Think about God through His magnificent creations, signs, wonders. If he can't help himself on this, or its getting boring, he should try and read Qur'an (English meaning if he doesn't understand Arabic) and reflect on the meaning. Other Islamic books on morals will also do. Doing this will make him dose off.

4. Marriage - Among the benefits of marriage is to fulfill our sexual needs. And getting married and having his wife beside him will, in sha Allah, stop all this. Remember, Islam does not place any burden on our shoulder in getting married. We place whatever burden that makes people run away from it.

Fasting: If not yet married, he should engage in fasting during the day, and if he can't, he should try to reduce his food in-take especially at night. Lime (oronbo or osan wewe) is known practically to reduce 's.exual urginess'.

Then I hope he's not into some medication (orthodox or local) that keeps on increasing his s.exual needs.

5. Anytime, the desire is getting strong, he should try and take a cold-water shower to calm the burning desires.

There is no might or power or knowledge saves Allahs'. May Allah have mercy on the brother and us by the station of Muhammad before Him.

Wa salam alaykum.


AlBaqir:
^In addition, he should note that as the vice builds up with time, so also might the solution to it takes time. There's no magic in Islam. Qur'an:
"O you who believe, seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely God is with the patient"

Lastly he should stay away from watching phonographic pictures and films. He should also avoid listen to sensational and intoxicating music.

I pray for his quick rehabilitation, indeed Allah has power over all thing.

www.nairaland.com/2011041/how-fight-masturbatn

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Re: Pls I Need Help by Nobody: 10:12pm On Apr 25, 2017
AbdelKabir:


If not that I opened this thread, I wouldn't have seen this mention and same goes for Abu Hammad......it should be Abdelkabir and AbuHammaad.....


Now to the op, herlarho....there are many ways to stop this act if you really want to stop it....first of All you need Allaah cus only Allaah has such power, that's why you'll be needing this dua;

اللهم اغفر ذنبي وطهر قلبي وحصن فرجي

Allaahumag fir dhanbee, wa tohhir qolbi, wa hassin farjee...

Oh Allaah forgive my sins and cleanse my heart and guard my private part...


Secondly, this most effective solution is to get married....

If you don't have the ability then LOWER YOUR GAZE, Wallaahi, lowering the gaze is so so so effective, I repeat WAllaahi, lowering the gaze is so so so effective.....lowering the gaze includes, don't look at women that are making a wanton display of their adornment, don't look at porn, don't look at movies where immorality is promoted such as Bollywood, Hollywood, nollywood, whatever wood, don't look at them, don't look at beautiful women pictures on Facebook or anywhere, if you can lower your gaze, insha Allaah your problem will be solved....

Fast the sunnah fasting of Mondays and Thursdays, 13th, 14th and 15th of the Islamic months calendar.....

You can also occupy yourself with learning beneficial knowledge..... Read the Qur'an and try to know the meaning frequently....

May Allaah help you....

May Allaah preserve your knowledge and understanding and make it nafi'a . May he preserve you upon Khayr. This is good

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Re: Pls I Need Help by Nobody: 10:25pm On Apr 25, 2017
RABIUSHILE04:


May Allaah preserve your knowledge and understanding and make it nafi'a . May he preserve you upon Khayr. This is good

Ameen....baarakallaahu feek

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