Let The Real Men Get Involved Here... . I've read a lot of repulsive posts and comments online mostly friends and sisters,and other supposed relationship experts, most of whom will of course advise women to focus on men they believe can afford to make their fantasy materialize,a dreamy lifestyle which they more often than not can't even afford themselves. However,I'm not really writing this piece for the women. I will direct this writeup to the menfolk, not as some relationship expert or some Mr Perfect but as a fellow man,brother and friend who's pretty much been in and out of the female conundrum. Nonetheless,my respect to all the vibrant,hardworking women of substance out there,this writeup is not intended to bash women at all but to sort of highlight on what we men deal with and sometimes try to avoid with our women. Hence, I welcome healthy criticisms,contributions and remarks as we aim to learn from one another. So with that being said...Here goes... .
1.The Problem Starts With Men : .
We really have to do away with this stupid thing called CHIVALRY,at least not until she's proven to be worthy of being a healthy companion with whom you share core values and common interests. Chivalry does not belong to this 21st century,guys. I'll break it down... In this generation most relationships or dating attempts start online - If you take the time to read the ABOUT ME sections of ten female profiles on a dating site, for example you'll be met with an array of vehement statements describing their hobbies and what sort of man they desire and what and what is expected of him. NOT one of them will mention or list what they've got to bring to the table - No! Or how they plan on making a relationship blossom and stay strong, or what the man stands to benefit. Ok,then you finally get some flippant "Hi" or "Kk" to a message you had sent perhaps a week prior. All of a sudden you're excited and anticipating a date - or a cheap lay. Now come on,guys... * Not until we stop allowing the boy in between our legs dictate our approach, actions, choices and remarks toward women; we'll always be at the receiving end. * Observe how they're quick to ask you what you do for a living,what part of the country/city you reside in. And perhaps on or before the date whether or not you're driving down to pick her up to the date venue. Some will even ask you outrightly whether or not you drive a car. *Not until we start demanding so much more than just "getting laid" from these women; Have our own personal values and selfworth. Meet their attitudes with firm undiluted rebuttal. * Not until we stop treating these women like they are ENTITLED to anything while we're in the process of getting to know them,have just met them and even if or when we have a long term plan for them * Quit looking for Love,look for a partner you understand and has EARNED your respect. That m0thafvkker called love is dead!!! * Not until we stop seeing "intimacy" like some medal which women feel we must work or pay for to gain or earn. Or as worthy of our hard earned money. A woman has gotta possess more than just her body to impress me,I swear. I don't care how curvy or delectable you think you look. Sis, your 'VG" won't pay my insurance! So keep that "Friends With Benefits" bvllsh!t to yourself! * Not until we stop acting like boys in men's bodies - showering them with undeserved attention,gifts, premature dates and freebies. And they in turn acting like they're doing you a favor by agreeing on a date or sleeping with you. *Ensure she's capable of providing for herself whatever she asks of you. That way you know she ain't no golddigger. And call no woman a golddigger if you're yourself a goldgiver,you'r e the problem! * Quit this mentality or ideology of a Happy Wife = Happy Home. Place your happiness in GOD,your development, your career, the changes you make around you to a better end,your family - yes,your own your own people who won't/ can't file a divorce. * I am not saying you should not or cannot occasionally treat your lady to a healthy surprise just to make her feel appreciated and respected. But that should be after you've knocked out that sense of "trade by barter" and "I'm entitled to sh!+" mentality out of her. I mean when she's truly earned your respect. * Don't be contented with any woman who offers nothing to you but her body,especially in exchange or upon demand for your money! NO! Except of course you're a cheating husband/boyfriend,reckless bachelor and a sugar daddy,and YES, you're the problem! I tell you what, women generally want and enjoy intimacy (orgasm)more than we do,they're biologically designed for it,it's why they possess numerous body parts for igniting their engines. I'm aware there's an infamous Vaseline Crew but how many of you dudes don't have dildos in your rooms compared to the vast majority of women who own vibrators,dildos,do handjobs and buy cucumbers - and use them every morning,noon and night. The answer is they want orgasm more than we do,FACT! It's why they're capable of reaching multiple orgasms during intimacy while you're still sporadically searching for your own threshold. So why pay someone for something they will naturally do anyways, or for their addiction? Vibrator sales are sky high,and the industry is raking in more and more money annually. Yes we know who the consumers are,don't we, guys? So? . 2. Stick To What It Is You Want :- . Have you tried friend-zoning a very beautiful lady who expects you to cow and suck up to her? Try it! Women don't like relationships they can't be in charge,and able to manipulate you to their own advantage. So a handsome,confid ent,enterprising young man won't always appeal to such selfish,materialistic and manipulative women. They'd rather date an average looking to a not so good looking guy with money they can always control and have him suck up to her when things get rocky while buying/paying for her plastic love with his money and incessant gifts. *Scoffs* Naturally,we men feel more fulfilled when we're able to provide for and take care of our spouse - and that's the way it should be. But we should not be of servitude to them or tolerate their shrewd tendencies - I mean these are the same women advocating for Gender Equality,are supporters of the Feminist Movements and Women's Rights movements all across the globe. But when it comes to Finances all of a sudden a man is expected to shut up,grow some balls and put up with every damn responsibility. So when or if he is incapable or unwilling then he's judged as not being a man or outrightly useless. . 3.Observe,Evaluate,Reevaluate :- . Yes we are equal,and man and woman should treat one another as such, in my own opinion and even when it comes to bills and other marriage or relationship functions. I am not any woman's father, nor am I obliged to you. I will only give that which you're also willing and able to give me - it's only fair! I don't want no transactionary love or relationship. Folks in Africa are lucky that in most countries out there you don't end up with a woman cleaning your slate after a divorce, loosing custody of your kids and be made to pay alimony for life. Women are all in it for the money, guys. They love comfort and will stop at nothing to attract that SOAB - Ok, a little digression, 50 year old Janet Jackson is demanding $500million as divorce settlements from her Arabian billionaire hubby after a marriage that only lasted 5 years with her currently carrying his baby. I tell you what, with the Feminist Movements spreading through out the world like cancer while cultures and traditions get killed, and gender pronouns and sexual orientations keep getting contrived, it's a matter of time before men start experiencing consequential divorce hardships so much in Africa too. So before you put some pen to paper at some marriage registry in Ikoyi - Think Twice!!! Let me make it clear, I (the OP) will not foot a lady's bills on a first date,and I'm usually very upfront about this when I meet ANY lady online. I suppose the essence of a date is to fundamentally meet in reality,have a good conversation and get basically acquainted. I don't suppose it's about where I take you and my obeying the esoteric dating law that states only a man pays the bills when the waiter presents the cheque. Again,we are equal! Equal in rights and capacity, biological/ physical differences are just relative to be honest. We have women all over the world breaking records and milestones in this very civlization we men built but you women won't give us the credits,but that's not the point. The point is if women like Jacqueline Mars,Alice Walton and Folorunsho Alakija and so on exist in this world,then let these lazy,desperate and conniving b!+ches give me no excuse,l et no girl come cry to me she needs to change her phone,make her hair and act like she's entitled to anything. If I give, I do so out of my own free will as a show of appreciation and affection. Naturally as a man I can assist a lady with whatever she is incapable of doing on a physical platter; like pulling over to assist her change her car tyre, change the car oil, change the light bulbs,and so on. But as for finances or bills, we share that mo'fucker EVENLY!!! Majority of the women of today have become so shallow,arrogant,vague and callous. They hunt for guys with pies they can lure into giving them a slice or snatch the whole damn thing if he's so unrefined. So guys,make una wise up! They wanna make the world all about material things,tell them to bring it on! They should bring shit to the table and not some already beat up can't. Now let the bitches who I'm defining hate on my ass. . . . Cc: Lalasticlala Mynd44 Obinoscopy Ishilove Seun