_*HUSBAND SCARCITY...*_

_*(By Maryam Habu Shinga).*_

_This may not be the best time for me to write on this because of misinterpretations, but I can no longer resist the push. "Husband Scarcity" has become one of the challenges faced by many young girls today. If you go to prayer houses, majority of the intentions are prayer for a life partner. And this calls for concern._

_Casting our minds back to the time of our mothers and grandmothers, was there really much of a "Husband Scarcity" problem? Or, maybe there were more men than women then, or there was an adequate corresponding numbers of both genders. I don't think so. Maybe then, the women had values and were prepared to build a home and not park into a built home._

_Then, once a young man comes of age and can at least feed himself and his wife, he goes out in search of a wife and the woman really appreciates him and helps him to build a future. What am I really trying to say? We created what we now see as "Husband Scarcity" for ourselves._

_Today, the reverse is the case. Ask an average girl to define her dream husband; you get things like "he has to be tall, handsome, fair, and rich, own a house at least, and be presentable" and then she adds "God fearing" in order not to sound so worldly. Then, check the number of girls around you and the number of men that meet that standard, and you will see the problem._

_You hear girls say, "I cannot suffer in my father's house and then go and start suffering with a man." What a wonderful dream! What if from the beginning, you have everything you want and there is no suffering, and later in the marriage, the table turns around, then comes suffering? Will you run away? No one prays for suffering, but it is good to start small and end big, than start big and end small._

_The problem is that the description majority of girls give of their ideal man is virtually the same. When 50 girls want the same kind of man and the man that fits what they want is just 1 man, and the man can only pick one. Then, what becomes of 49 others? They simply start lamenting of "Husband Scarcity"._

_Another irony of our time is that it is hard, due to the face of our economy to find a man who is of marriage age who possesses all those things these ladies want, legally (except those involved in Internet fraud); even the number of those in Internet fraud is not enough to match all those searching for already made husbands. If you look around, majority of the ladies of substance, of good value and virtue, who are ready to build a home with a man who has prospects, are married and not complaining of husband scarcity._

_The easiest way to find a husband now, is to change your view of who a husband is. A husband is that man God made and then saw that it may be hard for him to really actualize his purpose for making him, without a help mate and then made the woman and gave to him, and he felt complete and fulfilled MARRIAGE IS NOT A POVERTY ALLEVIATION PROGRAM. It is a mission of building the family of God here on earth._

_For those who see marriage as a way out of poverty, it is a way into bondage. Women are HOME BUILDERS, not HOME WARMERS... DON'T CONFUSE A MAN'S PATH WITH HIS DESTINY. Where he is today, may only be a route to where God has destined him to be tomorrow._

_Another truth is that YOU MAY BE THE ONLY FAST MEANS TO THAT HIS DESTINATION. Join in alleviating "husband scarcity". PICK UP THE RIGHT VALUES. I am not saying that you should pick anyone that comes your way and talks of marriage, not all men are husband materials._

_What I am saying is that you should stop setting your standard on material acquisitions or physical appearances. Look beyond the physical. WHAT MAKES A MAN WHO HE IS, IS NOT WHAT HE OWNS OR HOW HE LOOKS, IT IS WHAT HE IS MADE UP OF. And that which he is made of is, most times, not seen with the physical eyes, only its effects can be seen._

_Marriage is a permanent thing. Whatever is seen is temporal and that which is not seen is permanent._

_*This post is worth sharing, let it go as far as it can.*_

You've a good points here. Ladies take note...

Ok

To each his/her choice.

I pray everyone meet their dream man, and I also pray that those that didn't shouldn't blame the male gender and call them "dogs" in their advanced age of spinsterhood.

My advice to guys is that they settle for whoever believes in them and their dreams rather than those that are fascinated about their status or possessions.


I bow out...

We should stop blaming the ladies. Nigeria Government is the cause of it all. How do you expect a man with Zero income to settle down.

Poverty is the major cause of HUSBAND SCARCITY.

Ok

There is no scarcity of husband.
Ladies have got different specifications of men they want as husband, forgetting men are human, not created to be a permanent angel or permanent devil.

Ladies of nowadays want a ready made men, forgetting they can make their men ready.

Please ladies, stop looking for the god-fearing men. God-fearing men are the devils. A good man should be "Godophillic" ie, God-loving and not fearing God.

Husband are not scarce , a lot of women but wives are scarce..Till women of now shelve greedy materialism ( how can I meet as a girl and you tell you fly only business class) even if I could afford it I will pay for it once and sleep with u but never marry u..I have seen a lot of good girls lose Good guys because they took to the doctrine of feminism which is usually sponsored by women who treat their own men as kings but only sell feminism in books

I hope the men are also ready to shelve their egos and join in housework and childcare. Since the new law is for wives to build their husbands.

I also hope the men will not do what so many men do and start cheating on the same wife that "built him" once he becomes wealthy.

Zekkmixes:
I hope the men are also ready to shelve their egos and join in housework and childcare. Since the new law is for wives to build their husbands.

I also hope the men will not do what so many men do and start cheating on the same wife that "built him" once he becomes wealthy.

My dear, no such thing as 'build a man'. You are either a leech or a helper..... but make no mistake about it - you can never be his builder.

Any woman that is still thinking whether she has a role to play in the financial department of her marriage is definitely not ready for marriage.

Husband scare no be lie

Zekkmixes:
I hope the men are also ready to shelve their egos and join in housework and childcare. Since the new law is for wives to build their husbands.

I also hope the men will not do what so many men do and start cheating on the same wife that "built him" once he becomes wealthy.

Come and build me oh biko. Iyam here for you. I have already hanged my Ego on the wall. So no problem.

Because of husband scarcity a girl I met recently refuse to go when I told her we don't have a future 2geda. From day1 I realise she's arrogant, proud, can't say sorry nor admit her mistakes.I haven't even propose to her yet she's putting up these acts, I fear for what I'll face after taking her as a wife. Girls shaa

divalindiway:
Husband scare no be lie

LOLZ

Husbands may be scarce...i think its due to 9ja economy., hardship n joblessness...who wan marry com de suffer...mk ur so-called wife begin jump into d arms of another man just to bring food for table..n this normally affects either d hubby or d 1st son..I've seen it happened several times....i think its better nt to get married if u ain't prepared 4 it in all ramifications especially financially ......but d way women take de plenty these days ehn...baffles me...girls too plenty...even if government begin force d guys to marry 5 wifes to each man...women when go still remain go still over plenty... (not just here in 9ja oo...it's everywhere)
...i think it's d end time revelation....d world don almost come to an end...

If we'll just skip the bullshyte and cut to the chase, we can admit it’s hard to find a good person (man or woman) in this morally corrupt world, even if we take our standards and delusional hopes off the table....
The posters above yapping about how women are God's worst gift to humanity, y'all know within you that you don't come close to being good men

divalindiway:
Husband scare no be lie

Not at all...

@Op Husband Scarcity is real.

Globally speaking more ladies of marriage age are finding it more difficult to find a "responsible" man that they can marry, it is not only a Nigerian problem. The increasing demand for godly and responsible men is a pointer to deep rooted problems that is bedeviling the 20century singles.

Population wise, there are more women than men, and that in it self is a problem. The problem may not be visible but it is creating a damaging effect when viewed from economic point of view.

For instance you have more female in teaching professions especially in primary and secondary schools not to mention tertiary institutions. Most Organisations have lots of women as staff; as a matter of fact it is easier for employees to engage young single ladies with relevant academic qualifications than engaging their equally qualified male counterparts.

The reasons been that, ladies are cooperative and dedicated in job related positions more than men, men are more competitive and work with a "search for a greener pasture out their mentality".

Of course I will not elaborate on the sex appeal that comes with single ladies doing marketing and PR stuff for companies which makes it easier for them to get employed faster than their male counterparts.

For this reason a lot of single guys are losing employment opportunities to ladies and that is making a lot of men crazy because they are loosing their economic power to women. And when a man does not have the economic power to provide basic needs for himself not to mention a woman, he will see no reason why he should delay marriage or opt for single life or go for baby mamas.

Another reason why men are scarce from a marital perspective is that of men's lifestyle. I mean single guys live a lot of dangerous and destructive lifestyle which shorten their days and that creates more challenges for single ladies who are supposed to be married to them.

For instance as at the time of this writing there are over 67,000 male prisoners held in different prison facilities all over the Nigeria and bulk of these male prisoners are single and unmarried. For your information there are just 1,357 female prisoners currently in custody just imagine the huge and alarming difference.

A lot of single guys are dead as a result of alcohol, peer influence, gambling and cult related activities. All these isolated male death all accumulate in creating vacuum of single men. Only God knows the number of single guys that had paid the ultimate price with their life because of their religious affiliation to Bokoharam.

What is the way out for single ladies of marriageable age?

If you find a guy that shows interest and there is chemistry between the two of you, please don't look at the size of his television, rather look at his vision, he may not look like a success now, but it is just a matter of time before he becomes a branch manager in a bank.

If He has good work ethic, has character and godly, abeg don,t let that guy go. The male to female ratio is increasing daily. Younger and more productive ladies are surfacing on daily basis. If a busting guy comes across your way don't hesitate in giving him a try, delay may be dangerous.

But we have few men who are searching for a wife. Can't find o, women should also work on themselves.

Powerhousemm:
@Op Husband Scarcity is real.

Globally speaking more ladies of marriage age are finding it more difficult to find a "responsible" man that they can marry, it is not only a Nigerian problem. The increasing demand for godly and responsible men is a pointer to deep rooted problems that is bedeviling the 20century singles.

Population wise, there are more women than men, and that in it self is a problem. The problem may not be visible but it is creating a damaging effect when viewed from economic point of view.

For instance you have more female in teaching professions especially in primary and secondary schools not to mention tertiary institutions. Most Organisations have lots of women as staff; as a matter of fact it is easier for employees to engage young single ladies with relevant academic qualifications than engaging their equally qualified male counterparts.

The reasons been that, ladies are cooperative and dedicated in job related positions more than men, men are more competitive and work with a "search for a greener pasture out their mentality".

Of course I will not elaborate on the sex appeal that comes with single ladies doing marketing and PR stuff for companies which makes it easier for them to get employed faster than their male counterparts.

For this reason a lot of single guys are losing employment opportunities to ladies and that is making a lot of men crazy because they are loosing their economic power to women. And when a man does not have the economic power to provide basic needs for himself not to mention a woman, he will see no reason why he should delay marriage or opt for single life or go for baby mamas.

Another reason why men are scarce from a marital perspective is that of men's lifestyle. I mean single guys live a lot of dangerous and destructive lifestyle which shorten their days and that creates more challenges for single ladies who are supposed to be married to them.

For instance as at the time of this writing there are over 67,000 male prisoners held in different prison facilities all over the Nigeria and bulk of these male prisoners are single and unmarried. For your information there are just 1,357 female prisoners currently in custody just imagine the huge and alarming difference.

A lot of single guys are dead as a result of alcohol, peer influence, gambling and cult related activities. All these isolated male death all accumulate in creating vacuum of single men. Only God knows the number of single guys that had paid the ultimate price with their life because of their religious affiliation to Bokoharam.

What is the way out for single ladies of marriageable age?

If you find a guy that shows interest and there is chemistry between the two of you, please don't look at the size of his television, rather look at his vision, he may not look like a success now, but it is just a matter of time before he becomes a branch manager in a bank.

If He has good work ethic, has character and godly, abeg don,t let that guy go. The male to female ratio is increasing daily. Younger and more productive ladies are surfacing on daily basis. If a busting guy comes across your way don't hesitate in giving him a try, delay may be dangerous.

on point