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In The City Where We Grew Up - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 6:25pm On May 09, 2017
In the city
where we
grew up

when cars speed by
bus stops at night, that is where
grown-up men stand to search
for what's left of all the compassion the
world gave yesterday. There is
none in the mirrors - no compassion
whatsoever; it shows the dark
circles under their eyes, it
laughs at their qualifications, spits
at their university degrees. No
compassion.

These men feel the weightlessness of
their own heads when they nod. They
know the emptiness in their
skulls when they hear echoes, but
they don't know enough words
to describe all the fires that burn in
their souls when they remember
all of society's wise words. There is
no wisdom in what society says - they
know! But that's not enough reason
to not smile and nod empty heads
to the songs that society sings.

It's like searching for one's
reflection in broken mirrors so the images
are distorted. Or hating the truth with
half of your heart and fighting it
with the other half.

In the city
where we
grew up

they have men who pile up
their certificates and write their suicide
notes on them. The tables are too hard
and the floors are harder; the certificates
make their suicide notes come out neater.
They have a long bridge that sleeps on
the ocean. That is where the men wait
for the darkness and jump, unsure if
they are ending their pains or starting
them. Dawn doesn't come before they know.

Was it my brother who said it?
That he knows men in the city who
are just learning how to be mad,
but have enough certificates
to prove they're experts
at it.

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by texanomaly(f): 8:49pm On May 09, 2017
This is really good llaykorn.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by bqlekan(m): 9:11pm On May 09, 2017
Great piece here
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by ocephraim(m): 10:18pm On May 09, 2017
Wow... Nice piece
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by elfico(m): 7:21am On May 11, 2017
Brilliant piece.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by JigsawKillah(m): 5:49pm On May 11, 2017
This is good, Llaykorn


Can I borrow your topic? I feel something insane forming.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 6:54am On May 12, 2017
JigsawKillah:
This is good, Llaykorn


Can I borrow your topic? I feel something insane forming.

Haha. Insane bawo? Go on, drop something and call my name.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 6:57am On May 12, 2017
texanomaly:
This is really good llaykorn.

Thank you, Tex. Been a thousand years. I never knew you still dropped in here.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 6:58am On May 12, 2017
bqlekan:
Great piece here

Thanks bro. Been sometime I saw one of your own pieces too.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 7:00am On May 12, 2017
elfico:
Brilliant piece.

Thanks bro. smiley
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by AfroSamurai: 7:02am On May 12, 2017
Suicide and strife.


What's the structure of the poem, llaykorn. Kinda looks like prose poetry to me, seeing how you break your lines after a punctuation mark.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by texanomaly(f): 5:42pm On May 12, 2017
llaykorn:


Thank you, Tex. Been a thousand years. I never knew you still dropped in here.

You're welcome. I check in occasionally. You have always been a talented poet. I'm glad I checked on the right day to see this.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by bqlekan(m): 9:37am On May 15, 2017
M.
llaykorn:


Thanks bro. Been sometime I saw one of your own pieces too.
thanks bro, just been a bit busy these days
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 8:02pm On May 17, 2017
texanomaly:


You're welcome. I check in occasionally. You have always been a talented poet. I'm glad I checked on the right day to see this.

Thank you texanomaly. In the days we were all active on the NPC group, I learnt a lot from your poetry and all the critiques you did. Thank you. smiley

1 Like

Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 8:03pm On May 17, 2017
bqlekan:
M.thanks bro, just been a bit busy these days

Fight hard, bro. May we never lose our pens. smiley
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 8:08pm On May 17, 2017
AfroSamurai:
Suicide and strife.


What's the structure of the poem, llaykorn. Kinda looks like prose poetry to me, seeing how you break your lines after a punctuation mark.

Suicide, yes, and strife. Many years ago, I'd be happy to say it's PP. These days, I'm not so sure anymore. Modern poetry has started to take very strange forms. What do you think, texanomaly timpaker pdizzle ?
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by Pdizzle(m): 8:54pm On May 17, 2017
llaykorn:


Suicide, yes, and strife. Many years ago, I'd be happy to say it's PP. These days, I'm not so sure anymore. Modern poetry has started to take very strange forms. What do you think, texanomaly timpaker pdizzle ?

laykorn boss. nice piece as usual, the penultimate stanza was really nice.
yes poetry is evolving, in vary scary forms.
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by timpaker(m): 8:18am On May 18, 2017
llaykorn:


Suicide, yes, and strife. Many years ago, I'd be happy to say it's PP. These days, I'm not so sure anymore. Modern poetry has started to take very strange forms. What do you think, texanomaly timpaker pdizzle ?

You a quite right.

Modern poetry has evolved into various "strange" forms in the 20th century as the notable form of expression has always been the free verse form, and I think poets are mostly influenced by its ability to allow one pen their thoughts without constraints.

Also, going by the recent happenings and outright criticism by poets on how the world view poetry, some opined that poetry has lost its uniqueness as many prefer to write without beautifying it with hundreds of forms nor evoke the reader's thought. It is on this fact that Adrian Mitchell said most people will ignore poetry as long as poetry goes on ignoring most people.

But in truest fact, poets now justify their poems by the happenings and norms of poetry that they see is acceptable, an instance is the Noble prize award of literature to Bob Dylan which is an oblique view of how some poets view things. Its clearly different from the orthodox approach as modern poetry sees literature itself in a very large form. These contemporary poems of literature are judged based on lyrical content than style or skills with some strange forms of poetry found music, films, and even paintings.

1 Like

Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by texanomaly(f): 9:20pm On May 18, 2017
llaykorn:


Thank you texanomaly. In the days we were all active on the NPC group, I learnt a lot from your poetry and all the critiques you did. Thank you. smiley

My pleasure
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 7:56pm On May 24, 2017
timpaker:


You a quite right.

Modern poetry has evolved into various "strange" forms in the 20th century as the notable form of expression has always been the free verse form, and I think poets are mostly influenced by its ability to allow one pen their thoughts without constraints.

Also, going by the recent happenings and outright criticism by poets on how the world view poetry, some opined that poetry has lost its uniqueness as many prefer to write without beautifying it with hundreds of forms nor evoke the reader's thought. It is on this fact that Adrian Mitchell said most people will ignore poetry as long as poetry goes on ignoring most people.

But in truest fact, poets now justify their poems by the happenings and norms of poetry that they see is acceptable, an instance is the Noble prize award of literature to Bob Dylan which is an oblique view of how some poets view things. Its clearly different from the orthodox approach as modern poetry sees literature itself in a very large form. These contemporary poems of literature are judged based on lyrical content than style or skills with some strange forms of poetry found music, films, and even paintings.

Thank you sir, and I agree that 'style' is dead, I swear. Apart from the fact that free verse has become the dominant thing, it seems like modern poets are not only competing in lyrical prowess but also in coming up with strangest form of the free verse. The world is accepting this and it has gone beyond what can be dismissed as a trend for younger poets. The last Brunel Prize affirms my claim. Here is a link to some of the pieces submitted by shortlisted poets. You might be amazed.

http://www.africanpoetryprize.org/press-release-shortlist-2016

I feel very good about this, however. Sonnets and meter, I have always beleived, are only a perfect way of alienating this art. An art that should be available people, ordinary people who want to write their pain or scribble their joy. (Forget the fact that iamb, trochee, dactyl, are things that cause me massive headaches anytime I try to understand them cheesy)

1 Like

Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by llaykorn: 8:03pm On May 24, 2017
Pdizzle:


laykorn boss. nice piece as usual, the penultimate stanza was really nice.
yes poetry is evolving, in vary scary forms.

thanks. smiley

you stopped writing bro?
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by Pdizzle(m): 10:51pm On May 24, 2017
llaykorn:


thanks. smiley

you stopped writing bro?

mad writers block
Re: In The City Where We Grew Up by AndyAustin(m): 10:09am On Jun 13, 2017
Bless you.

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