Due to Modernization polygamy is dying.
There was a time a girl looked forward to marrying an already married man.
But Nigerian cannot embrace modernization half-way, That is why polygamy is condemned in the west, it was not always this way,

I  said earlier that  I have  some flaws when it comes to handling  two women at a time. I  can only handle one person at a time , but who am I to say that polygamy or polyandry should be criminalized given the fact that it not consistent with western beliefs.

If we criminalize polygamy or polyandry, can we also criminalize  adulterous couples who are engaged in   sexual relationships ?
If we criminalize polygamy or polyandry, can we also criminalize   those who have children outside wedlock?

If we criminalize polygamy or polyandry, can  we also criminalize those who  break marriage vow?
If we criminalize polygamy or polyandry, can we also criminalize those who are in gay/lesbian unions?
I still insist that the west should not  define marriage for us.

let those who like polygamy go get their two ladies and let them (the ladies) show them pepper they havent seen yet  

Though polygamy is really a bad thing.Its not at all good but men that did not marry two wives end up cheating then which is better.

The guys that subsribe to polygamy claiming that it is betterfor a man to marry more than 1 than to cheat on his 1 wife who tell una say man with more than 1 wife no dey do other gals out side?These men still keep women outside and marry the ones they fell they want to keep at home to satisfy eighther their desire or the womans desire to be a mrs.Polygamy is full of pain where vodoo can be freely used one wife unhappy about the success of the others children, jelousy why our husband wants to send mama, 's son to america and not my own son?who inherits what when the man is dead,each wife strugling to be the apple of the mans eyes.To say the truth no man can love two women equally so the guys should stop decieving us they know in their heart of hearts that they cant love two wives equally.Women dont mind polygamy because of religion or because they like snatching other womens husbands and so they make the man feelhe has a right to marry them in addition to the woman at homethese women are wicked and they if it can be avoided will never want their husbends to marry a third wife even if he insists and marries they become unhappy.The guys shouldnot speak about polygamy as it is the women involved know what they go through to be the favourite wife the man and to make him perform his fatherly duty towards her child its a strugle snd like a battle i mean why shoild a woman who shold settle down aftermarriage start preparing for battle of love with co wives i think its unfair to women. I believe in those days it was because a man needed those extra hands to till his land to put more food on his table and the fact that women hardly earn any income so they had to be humble and take anyshit the guy gave since they cant make it on their own taking care of the children and theirselves.with education and women empowerment women now have more say and the husbands think twice before bringing in a girlfriend talkless of another wife.

Polygamy is the slowest way to commit suicide. PERIOD.

I have witnessed polygamy and I tell you that it is a very ugly sight. Juju, accusation of neglect, malicious slander, marital dispute and fights between the wives, with their children joining in is not a pleasant sight. I would never advise anybody to practise polygamy. It is not worth it. Any proponent of polygamy should take a look at the disaster that occured in MKO Abiola's family, shortly after his demise. The squabbles between the wives and the allegations that some of the children were left out of their inheritance is a mirror on the pitfalls of tragedy.

Polygamy and happiness do NOT go together. Period!

laudate:

Polygamy and happiness do NOT go together. Period!

Not completely true. Well, if you are smart, you can be polygamous and escape the juju thing, voodoo, unhappiness and all of that. The only little problem is that you will become a caretaker of your wives and children .

You can give me a call for further details.

#Candid Submission#

Brymore:

Not completely true. Well, if you are smart, you can be polygamous and escape the juju thing, voodoo, unhappiness and all of that. The only little problem is that you will become a caretaker of your wives and children .

You can give me a call for further details.

#Candid Submission#

men are always in denial. even if the house is rocking with fighting and unhappiness, he just doesnt see it. . he thinks everyone is deliriously happy. its crazy! he fools himself thinking everyone is fine.

@ Spoilt,

You are not a man so I don't think you will be in the best position to speak for men.
Besides, one or a few men's experiences does not necessarily mean that it is same for all others.

I told laudate that I know how you can live polygamously happy and I meant it, no denial theory and all that. I also said any interested male could call me if they want to know how.

Cest fini.

If you are also interested in knowing how, we can arrange and meet somewhere, then I can tell you.


#Candid Submission#

i think it's wrong. if he MUST shag someone else, he shd have a mistress intead, but not get married to her!

Brymore:

@ Spoilt,

You are not a man so I don't think you will be in the best position to speak for men.
Besides, one or a few men's experiences does not necessarily mean that it is same for all others.

I told laudate that I know how you can live polygamously happy and I meant it, no denial theory and all that. I also said any interested male could call me if they want to know how.

Cest fini.

If you are also interested in knowing how, we can arrange and meet somewhere, then I can tell you.


#Candid Submission#

i dont have to be a man to know that polygamous men brag about how well they control all their wives and children and how they have a peaceful home.That is the joke of the century. its called being in Denial. even if the house is falling down, they are deluded into thinking all the wives get along and all the children are best friends. its just plain ridiculous.

n.b and why would i want to meet you anywhere to discuss polygamy?

spoilt:

n.b and why would i want to meet you anywhere to discuss polygamy?

Well, that was an invitation I hoped you will turn down. I would want to ask you a question; do all caretakers have disgruntled tenants?

spoilt:




i don't have to be a man to know that polygamous men brag about how well they control all their wives and children and how they have a peaceful home.That is the joke of the century. its called being in Denial. even if the house is falling down, they are deluded into thinking all the wives get along and all the children are best friends. its just plain ridiculous.

n.b and why would i want to meet you anywhere to discuss polygamy?

good points

I think people go polygamous for so many reasons:Religion beliefs,Ego- all these I belong egocentric ways, Unforseen circumstances and so many unprintable reasons.I don't really buy the idea and i totally loathe it.

girl, i totally agree with u. . . moreover, its unethical!!!!

[size=14pt]I am totally 100% behind Adconline  one this topic.

I am reading bogus statements about what is natural, which all seem to fit into some idealised view of Western Monogamist relationships from a feminists persecptive.

The fact is that Promiscuity is a very natural type of behaviour in Humans and Animals alike yes like being born without clothes is.  What is not natural is the why society seeks to sort of control society enforce the absence of one and the insistance of adopting the other.

I would like to be in a polygamist relationship with two wives. I have never made any bones about that to friends or family or even to woman.

What Woman are afraid of is the idea of a Man sharing their time, more importantly FINANICAL RESOURCES  with another Women and her Children. This is the real issue that women have regarding polygamy.  In the West the financial resources of the Man are heavly eskewed to the the Wife who has sort of 1st Charge over his finances if and when they split. Polygamy would nullify some of the rich resource. That is why it is not a surprise many women with influenced by western values over African values oppose it . [/size] [size=14pt][/size]

sometimes polygamy brings division in a family.

@ The Prince, interesting view. If you believe promiscuity is natural for human beings, will it also be natural for each of your two wives to have more than one husband or sexual partner, with which they also share their time and money? They are human like you afterall, it will also be natural for them right?

Is better accept poligamy than cheat

@ the Prince, you did not answer my question.

The Londoner,

1. What is natural doe'nst always apply to all individuals.
- Some people are positive
- Some people are negative
- Some people are Fat
- Some people are thin
- Some people have Ginger Hair
-Some people do not

In all of the above cases the charactaristic is natural, but not universal.

2. Therefore, while indeed some wives of Polygamous marriages may seek out another partners, their behaviour would be no more or no less than a wife or Partner in a monogamous relationship.

3. In a Polygamous relationship, if an when a Woman becomes pregnant, the Man in the relationship should and more often does take responsibility for his Child. Usually the whole background behind Polygamous relationships is that a man has taken on a number of wives with the caveat that he can provide for those wives and his children.

This is the implied agreement among the parties involved. The man securing his linage via multiple spouses and providing for them in the same household, The African American\ Caribbean version of that is some what different, like wise the Southern European principle of having a mistress.

4. In the case of the wives having additional husbands and then getting pregnant, brings into question who would provide any financial assistance for her ? Barring DNA testing, either of the husbands may not take responsibility for the Child due to the questionmark on whoose child it actually is. More so in which Household would the woman seek to reside if the child is from another Man outside of her 1st Husbands household ?

5. There are cultures where the woman has a number of Husbands and the issue of who the Father is has been used to garnish mutual support of all the Men in the relationship, but this is a Cultural aspect worked out through their own culture rather than an Imported Chauvinistic Culture that European Culture tends to be, and only the weaker cultures tend to adopt it, Pagans v Islam etc.

Has that answered your question to your satisfaction?

SimiBrazil, the question on "Cheating" would imply breaking the rules, in which case one has to ask:

Who Framed the Rules ?
Who subscribed to them?

Are people entitled to draft their own rules or must they be handed down to them from Societies and people who usually no longer exist, or are not actually in direct involvement of the relationship?

It is not a case of whether or not one agrees with the practice but acknowledges the concept of individuals doing what is right for them rather than go with the flow of standard European "Value" system either through the CMS dictates or European Liberals.

We live in a society of people that craves to be individuals yet clammer to confirm ?!!

This is actually an eye opener. I never thought of polygamy as an important factor to discuss prior marriage, because through people's views it shows some people don't mind having more than one wife. I think the issue of polygamy has to be discussed between couples before venturing into marriage. If the guy tells you he doesn't mind and you still go ahead and marry him, well that's your palaver. As for me, I won't stay in a polygamous home.

@ The Prince
I know Westerners have no right to dictate what's right and what's not, but all the points you  made was enough to give me headache. If your wife or preferably wives can handle the throes of polygamy, good for them .
Your words in bold  below truly spells out as a matter of choice. Well I agree we have the right to choose what we want to be. However I hope it doesn't change the fact of what's good and what's bad, right and wrong.
If people should have an individualistic view of life, what are the chances of someone not seeing anything wrong with things like rape or beating your wife.

The Prince:

The Londoner,

1. What is natural doe'nst always apply to all individuals.
- Some people are positive
- Some people are negative
- Some people are Fat
- Some people are thin
- Some people have Ginger Hair
-Some people do not

In all of the above cases the charactaristic is natural, but not universal.

2. Therefore, while indeed some wives of Polygamous marriages may seek out another partners, their behaviour would be no more or no less than a wife or Partner in a monogamous relationship.

3. In a Polygamous relationship, if an when a Woman becomes pregnant, the Man in the relationship should and more often does take responsibility for his Child. Usually the whole background behind Polygamous relationships is that a man has taken on a number of wives with the caveat that he can provide for those wives and his children.

This is the implied agreement among the parties involved. The man securing his linage via multiple spouses and providing for them in the same household, The African American\ Caribbean version of that is some what different, like wise the Southern European principle of having a mistress.

4. In the case of the wives having additional husbands and then getting pregnant, brings into question who would provide any financial assistance for her ? Barring DNA testing, either of the husbands may not take responsibility for the Child due to the questionmark on whoose child it actually is. More so in which Household would the woman seek to reside if the child is from another Man outside of her 1st Husbands household ?

5. There are cultures where the woman has a number of Husbands and the issue of who the Father is has been used to garnish mutual support of all the Men in the relationship, but this is a Cultural aspect worked out through their own culture rather than an Imported Chauvinistic Culture that European Culture tends to be, and only the weaker cultures tend to adopt it, Pagans v Islam etc.

Has that answered your question to your satisfaction?

SimiBrazil, the question on "Cheating" would imply breaking the rules, in which case one has to ask:

Who Framed the Rules ?
Who subscribed to them?

Are people entitled to draft their own rules or must they be handed down to them from Societies and people who usually no longer exist, or are not actually in direct involvement of the relationship?
It is not a case of whether or not one agrees with the practice but acknowledges the concept of individuals doing what is right for them rather than go with the flow of standard European "Value" system either through the CMS dictates or European Liberals.

We live in a society of people that craves to be individuals yet clammer to confirm ?!!

I am d first wife in a family of two wives. Each of us live in different towns.husband lives alone in another town. This living arrangement has reduced d tension, rancour, jealousy,suspicion and other ill feelings normally associated wt polygamous homes. There is very little interaction btw us d wives, in fact virtually nothing to talk abt d few times we meet.Nonetheless, though am at peace wt myself cos I accepted d situation being Allah's will, I feel unhappy nearly always knowing that my husband's love, feelings, meagre resources are being shared by another woman and her children. The worst thing is d lies and deception frm d husband's part in a polygamous situation. One can only accept d situation in order to have rest of mind.

The Prince: The Londoner,

I blame the views on Polygamy and it's opporsite directly on the Western, Missionary influenced, social control that many Africans rush to aspire to believing their own culture to be inferior. I don't subscribe this thus have an open mind about Polygamy. What I don't quite understand and perhaps you might educate me is why in the Western World should a Homosexual Marriage be more "Normal" than a Polygamous one, and one have the support of law behind it and the other not?

That's interesting I often wonder the same I think if polygamy is managed properly and it happens to be beneficial for the women involved it should be given more serious thought.

Polygamy was ordained by Allah and is permissible in Islam. As such, its not a bad practice if it is done exactly as prescribed.

Due to arrant stupidity found in the so-called civilization, European and American culture, by Africans in general and Nigerians in particular, the rate of divorce and unmarried women is very high which leads to other social decadence in our midst. I had taken polygamy over many failed marriages and numerous unwedded mothers breeding illegitimate children any day. I am ashamed that Africans seemed to be murderously brainwashed on the issue of the so-called modern time and modernization. If the world has turned into so-called modern, what stopped Europeans, Asians and Americans from rushing to Africa to take wives? Marriage is an agreeable union between a man and a woman or a man and women.

pOLyg@mY i$ aRouNd bec@uSe of SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dede1: I had taken polygamy over many failed marriages and numerous unwedded mothers breeding illegitimate children any day.

If it was feasible enough for Shango who are we to have the audacity to question polygamy?

It's ok by me.

It's how most of us got here (ancestors/parents).
I just think it must be accepted by all parties involved.

Ybutterfly: pOLyg@mY i$ aRouNd bec@uSe of SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

lol.