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Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Cyberfreak(f): 5:55pm On Jan 19, 2010
@H202 and harakiri,
So what the two of you are trying to say is that your mothers and sisters are the most unreliable species on the face of the earth? That when you give them orange they ask for apple then apple pie etc? That they are TOTALLY INSATIABLE? That other men are justified in deciding not to love them 100%? Hmm. . . .interesting. . . .
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by snthesis(m): 6:21pm On Jan 19, 2010
@michelin89
i guess d next post shud read "why must women return d favor"
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by kcblast(m): 6:39pm On Jan 19, 2010
what a silly question! angry
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Nobody: 6:46pm On Jan 19, 2010
kc-blast:

what a silly question! angry

But I guess you'd be running your mouth like a pipe here, right?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-381264.0.html
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by na2day2(m): 7:15pm On Jan 19, 2010
@ OP

why dont u let a woman ask the question? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Nobody: 7:15pm On Jan 19, 2010
na2day?:

@ OP

why dont u let a woman ask the question? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Thunder fire your useless fingers! angry
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by na2day2(m): 7:18pm On Jan 19, 2010
michelin89:

Thunder fire your useless fingers! angry

thunder dey fire breeze? tongue tongue tongue tongue
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by koolchicco: 7:18pm On Jan 19, 2010
na2day?:

@ OP

why dont u let a woman ask the question?  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

U mean? undecided lipsrsealed  shocked

michelin89:

Thunder fire your useless fingers! angry
cheesy cheesy
na2day?:

thunder dey fire breeze? tongue tongue tongue tongue
Ikuku ama n'onya!! grin grin
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by H2O2: 7:24pm On Jan 19, 2010
Cyberfreak:

@H202 and harakiri,
So what the two of you are trying to say is that your mothers and sisters are the most unreliable species on the face of the earth? That when you give them orange they ask for apple then apple pie etc? That they are TOTALLY INSATIABLE? That other men are justified in deciding not to love them 100%? Hmm. . . .interesting. . . .
whose mom? your mom?  if that summarizes your feelings about your mother, then who am i to argue against that dear  wink
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by kriz4luv: 8:29pm On Jan 19, 2010
@POSTER

I had a girlfriend whom i dated for 5yrs (frm our university days). On the fifth year of our relationship we both graduated and served our country.
We were close and i really loved her and never cheated on her (We were suppose to get married 2009, at least that was what we planned.

She served in the Bank and during that time a lot of things changed. sad
To cut the long story short. She started sleeping around.

When i found out i was angry, I hoped that she would appologies or say something to make me understand her reasons.

But instead, she told me that she can't contine with me because i am just too good for her. undecided

This now bring me to your question, how else can a man love a woman.

I go to work everyday looking at every girl i see and i start to wonder, how can i get a girl that would not leave for thesame reason.
BUT FOR NOW, I THINK I LKE MY SOLO ENVIRON. grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Malila: 12:47pm On Jan 20, 2010
I think in the course of throwing the blame the other side we forgot to question women on "How they want to be loved"?

Ladies listen up, submitting to your man is fairly straightforward. Your man's wishes should be your commands. If she want you cook, you cook. If she wants you wear skirts in stead of trousers you do just that. Etc.

But I am sure guys are lost on the second part of the deal. That they must love you ladies like Christ loved the church. Now help the guys out. What do they need to do or act toward you so that you feel loved?
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by N101: 3:36pm On Jan 23, 2010
^^A very sensible question, which is answered in Ephesians 5.  Very easy but some men still don't - or choose not to - get it:

25 And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word.  27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. 29 No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. 30 And we are his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."

32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Note that there is more written to husbands as to how to love their wives (6 verses) than about wives submitting to husbands (3 verses).  Paul even had to spell it out for men in a way he didn't for women.

Do you think that it is possibly because submitting is easier for women than loving is for men? 

Some people joke a lot about going off with another woman if they don't get what they want from their spouse but seriously, do you think the reason why a lot of women don't submit to a man is simply her lack of respect for/trust in him? 

If "love", as some have already said, seems to consist of the material things you can give a woman, don't you think that the emotional investment reaps greater benefits than any trinket or gift can?

Note that to "honour" someone means to treat them as if they are worth something to you.  The day  you dishonour them, you treat them as if they're worth nothing to you.  Once a woman's heart is closed to a man rarely if ever will it open again.  Women are emotional beings; if a man wants submission he better be prepared to deposit in her emotional account.

[list][*]Make the effort to listen to her yabbing away about her day or something that happened.  Don't just "uh-huh", actively make an effort to listen and respond.  By the way not every problem requires a solution, most times all it really requires is a listening ear.  It may go against everything within a man but she will appreciate it!

[*]It's the little things that count; the odd gift may be appreciated, but doing something practical like helping with the housework, peeling a yam or putting on the kettle, keeping the children occupied, answering the phone or running interference when necessary makes a bit difference in a busy woman's day.[/list]

People want to get into something if there's something in it for them - the husband & wife relationship cannot be pigeon-holed this way.  Most people are committed to nothing and in the slightest breeze they weaken and bail.   Marriage requires compromise, it requires going with the ebbs and flows, and it also entails a fight to stand for something when others choose to cheat, lie and deceive.  So long as both are in agreement, that woman will submit to her husband without hesitation, and that man will earnestly and sincerely love his wife without consciously thinking about it.

If people aren't willing to give or sacrifice anything for the sake of another, and if they want their nice quiet life to remain so, don't marry.  Simples.
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Abekeade08(f): 12:41am On Jan 24, 2010
I love my wife with all of my heart.

Reason:

- We were very good friends for over 2 yrs, both matured and ready to settle down.

- Because we were good friends right from the onset, I never lied to her and she exacly knew what she wanted in her man and found just that before we got engaged.

- There is no such thing as pride in our relationship . . she lets me be when I sulk and vise versa. So either one finds it really easy to say I am sorry and truly mean it.

- We both ironed out our differences before we decided to get married. So if I'm not going to allow something as a married wealthy man, I started rejecting it ever since I was poor and single.

- We truly care about each other - we want to make us happy

- Here is the number reason: A woman that knows she is truly loved will readily give her eyes for her partner. That is the kind of commitment I want and get from my wife. If you truly love your wife / husband, you will not cheat on them and have extramarital affairs or kids outside the marriage. I added my wife's name to all my accounts without her knowledge and gave her my atm card and two credit cards. She then personally decided to her work cheques paid directly to my account. It is easy for your wife to love and trust you when she knows you are a responsible man and you devote all your attention to your family.

I am almost forty, lived with my parents for over 20 years and never saw my dad cheat or raise his hands on my mother. Of course my mother gave him her all and everything else. So why should I want my own to be different.

I am truly blessed to be married to this woman.

Love your wife truly and you will enjoy the fruits of marriage.

Wow! what a man. Your wife is truly lucky. Good on you bro, hopefully, some of the egotistic naija [i]boys [/i]on NL will learn a thing or two from you.
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by na2day2(m): 12:44am On Jan 24, 2010
Abekeade08:

Wow! what a man. Your wife is truly lucky. Good on you bro, hopefully, some of the egotistic naija [i]boys [/i]on NL will learn a thing or two from you.

is that a way of u asking me to change a little b4 we marry? kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Abekeade08(f): 12:48am On Jan 24, 2010
is that a way of u asking me to change a little b4 we marry?

I try my best to ignore you, but you are just a troublesome stalkerazi. angry Aren't there some other girls on NL you can go bother?? undecided
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by na2day2(m): 1:19am On Jan 24, 2010
Abekeade08:

I try my best to ignore you, but you are just a troublesome stalkerazi. angry Aren't there some other girls on NL you can go bother?? undecided

non that is as plankish as u tongue tongue
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Abekeade08(f): 1:29am On Jan 24, 2010
non that is as plankish as u  Tongue Tongue

Seems like jenibayo is umm in your own words "plankish " enough. Why don't you go disturb her like you have been doing?? or is it because she has gone to bed that you want to start disturbing and insulting me.
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Nobody: 1:32am On Jan 24, 2010
Abekeade08:

Seems like jenibayo is umm in your own words "plankish " enough. Why don't you go disturb her like you have been doing?? or is it because she has gone to bed that you want to start disturbing and insulting me.
You have the time. . . . seriously.

If you know how he looks, you would think twice about replying to his insults.
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Abekeade08(f): 1:37am On Jan 24, 2010
You have the time. . . . seriously.

If you know how he looks, you would think twice about replying to his insults.

I am not even sure why i am bandying words with him. I should be off NL reading a book instead of trading words with na2day.
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Nobody: 1:39am On Jan 24, 2010
Abekeade08:

I am not even sure why i am bandying words with him. I should be off NL reading a book instead of trading words with na2day.
Sign off and read the paper lol. NL dnt matter, trust me smiley
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by na2day2(m): 2:12am On Jan 24, 2010
Abekeade08:

Seems like jenibayo is umm in your own words "plankish " enough. Why don't you go disturb her like you have been doing?? or is it because she has gone to bed that you want to start disturbing and insulting me.

that is bcuz u r the love of my life kiss kiss kiss


FL Gators:

You have the time. . . . seriously.

If you know how he looks, you would think twice about replying to his insults.

awwwww, how romantic but no, u cant have me for urself tongue tongue tongue


Abekeade08:

I am not even sure why i am bandying words with him. I should be off NL reading a book instead of trading words with na2day.

bcuz u love me from the bottom of ur heart. now what is that phone number of urs again kiss kiss kiss
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Fearcom(m): 3:55pm On Jan 24, 2010
To Responsible,reliable and trust-worthy men like myself who loves and commits to my partner,i find this question clumsy undecided
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by Yinyin1(f): 7:59pm On Nov 27, 2012
kokoye: I love my wife with all of my heart.

Reason:

- We were very good friends for over 2 yrs, both matured and ready to settle down.

- Because we were good friends right from the onset, I never lied to her and she exacly knew what she wanted in her man and found just that before we got engaged.

- There is no such thing as pride in our relationship . . she lets me be when I sulk and vise versa. So either one finds it really easy to say I am sorry and truly mean it.

- We both ironed out our differences before we decided to get married. So if I'm not going to allow something as a married wealthy man, I started rejecting it ever since I was poor and single.

- We truly care about each other - we want to make us happy

- Here is the number reason: A woman that knows she is truly loved will readily give her eyes for her partner. That is the kind of commitment I want and get from my wife. If you truly love your wife / husband, you will not cheat on them and have extramarital affairs or kids outside the marriage. I added my wife's name to all my accounts without her knowledge and gave her my atm card and two credit cards. She then personally decided to her work cheques paid directly to my account. It is easy for your wife to love and trust you when she knows you are a responsible man and you devote all your attention to your family.

I am almost forty, lived with my parents for over 20 years and never saw my dad cheat or raise his hands on my mother. Of course my mother gave him her all and everything else.  So why should I want my own to be different.

I am truly blessed to be married to this woman.

Love your wife truly and you will enjoy the fruits of marriage.


May God bless my marriage like yours,Amen!
Re: Why Do Men Find It Hard To Love Their Women In Relationships? by shosky72(m): 1:35am On Feb 27, 2015
[quote author=Bokoharam post=5314754]The Bible is NOT stupid. God is also not foolosh! Which injuction comes first in that Bible? Submit or love?

Ephesians 5: 22 – Wives submit to your husbands
Ephesians 5: 25 – Husbands Love your wives

God is the greatest chronologist I’ve ever seen. He is NOT an author of confusion, and that’s why he organizes whatever He says & does. He also knows the implication of His actions and word. Be NOT deceived and let no one teach you nothing else.

Women, yours is to first submit; and every other thing shall be added.

- In s.ex, u must submit,

- In listening to him, u must submit

- In submission itself, u must submit

It is also NOT different in Koran or any other religion of the world. Can you challenge that?


Michelin89, pls, tell the ladies. Submissions comes first

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