Bro i really feel your pain, especially having had a caring dad, i can imagine what my life might be like without his influence. Having said that, this is the situation you are faced with and you have to man up. You can learn a trade to put yourself through school as so many others are doing.

Turn to God and be serious with your relationship with Him as if your life depends on it, becaue it does.

You can make it with or without your father.

P.s You don't need to hate or resent your father since he has obviously done what he can up until this moment. Always remember him for the good he has done.

chibuzorAbia:


You are the COMEDIAN! So you want to sit your ass down watching Nollywood while your father provides roof, food, fees, pocket money etc etc God punish you with poverty!

im not your daughter....i can do whatever i please...dead beat dad.

Pity your kids...OLOSHI.

....

agog:
To be candid with you your father is a short-sighted man because his perception of death at age 50 is so awkward. Many people have live till 80 and beyond and have left enduring legacies behind!!! So why should he be expecting death at age 50, thereby leaving his parental duties undone?
At 50, he should really be consolidating his energy on training his children educationally, providing for those who are still living in his house and are unemployed. With this, his memory will be cherished and will not really matter if he actually died at 50 or lived till 90! Maybe you need to talk to other family members to let your dad see reasons on why he shouldnt abdicate his parental responsibilities for a flimsy and unfounded excuses. The consequences of not doing his parental duties are grave and irreparable. And as a matter of urgency he should make efforts to contact your elder siblings who has left the house for a no destination and bring them back before they are negatively influenced outside.

It could be a challenge. At 21, I was driving Benz in Lagos with money made with my own sweat. Never collected school fees. The generation we have now want their parent to spoon feed them.

thingsyoudo123:
So u bought car under ur papa roof?? abi u bought a car while living at someones mercy

Yes I bought that car under my father's roof, and his demeanour after that told me clearly that my days in his house were numbered. So I arranged myself and the next year, out I went from his house till date.

A boat can never have two captains, so I had to get my own boat. Get my drift?

chalantmike:


it is people like yhu and davido, that are responsible for some of the Ill intent that youth today nurse, yhu want him to be desperate, do yhu think the term hustling is a good term, do think every bodies time and destiny is the same.

yhu just told him yhur time frame not what yhu do or did, for all we know yhu fit b ritualist.

remember the rabbit and the tortures are both in the same forest, yet one ends up in the pot of soup faster than the other, after all the speed and hooping, yhu might just speed yhur way into yhur pot of soup.

point is 20's is where people discover themselves and life purpose, if yhur lucky to discover it early, do not be responsible for another mans desperation.

this is the mentality that is responsible for our high unemployment rate in Nigeria. Bill Gates was 19 when he started Microsoft with Tim Allen. I hope you know this.

With all due respect your father is a nonentity. If he has the means to take care of you and refuses to, he is a useless father.

Did you write application to be born before? It is his responsibility to care his children. Your mother will definitely support her husband but as a good mother, since her husband has failed as a father it should become her responsibility to help you.

If you and your brothers become thieves and low lives, the shame will be upon your parents, and I'm quite sure your dad will not enjoy the rest of his life if this happens.

Legalbeing:
My name is john. Am twenty one
Here is my story. Not just a story but an irony of truth and lies.
Do u know that if any human clocks 50 all he keeps thinking was his death?....(daddy said so)

I had to reach 56, and come down with my first serious illness in 37 years to get to that point.

Nonetheless, a disciplined mind USES that Fear CONSTRUCTIVELY.

Just like a utility maximisation, we tend to reach to a point and depreciate.

That is obvious.

My father abandoned me and my siblings
just because he will soon die and he need to plan and enjoy the few years he has to spend on earth. He told my Mum that we all have our own future fend for. if we keep expecting him to pay our school fees, buy cloths and feed us complete thrice and many more that we are joking.. He also told my elderst brother that the money he has is for him and his wife.

This may have happened, but it didn't happen to YOU. I believe this story to be FICTITIOUS.

I thought the joke was a plank..

You professional TROLL SHILLS use misspellings and malapropisms to try to appear local and illiterate.

Not until when my two elder brother left the home to no destination.. I sat to share issues with my mum who pointed out vividly that my Daddy made the right decision.

This never happened to you, nor to anyone you know.

So i wonder if that is right.. Is it only my father that has that mentality or is it a general undertaken. Someone needs a help.

This is a SURVEY to gather information about our country, in my opinion.

Legalbeing:

Even when i scored jamb cut off mark, wrote post utme scored below wit the option to change course but i was told the money left is for me and my wife..

Honestly, I am not sure I can do same to my child. I just keep feeling that mum being in on it might make it tough love. He really should help out with major stuffs though. I think it's for the best to start the hustling spirit at an early age. Bad things may happen but sometimes the fever that you have to make something worthwhile in life pushes us to do great things. In reality sha, e no easy. I know.

agog:
To be candid with you your father is a short-sighted man because his perception of death at age 50 is so awkward. Many people have live till 80 and beyond and have left enduring legacies behind!!! So why should he be expecting death at age 50, thereby leaving his parental duties undone?
At 50, he should really be consolidating his energy on training his children educationally, providing for those who are still living in his house and are unemployed. With this, his memory will be cherished and will not really matter if he actually died at 50 or lived till 90! Maybe you need to talk to other family members to let your dad see reasons on why he shouldnt abdicate his parental responsibilities for a flimsy and unfounded excuses. The consequences of not doing his parental duties are grave and irreparable. And as a matter of urgency he should make efforts to contact your elder siblings who has left the house for a no destination and bring them back before they are negatively influenced outside.

Even Donald Trump after he has accomplished a lot decided to run for the Presidency before he turned 70.

nkemdi89:

Don't mind them it's only gullible minds that falls for all these social media sugar tongued scammers, even the rich sponsors their children till they are more than 30. You know what talk is cheap, since everyone are now forming analysts what do you expect.

one even said he started hustling at 15, so you expect a 15yrs old kid to leave his / her education and start looking for money?, the way they sound makes it looks as if life is that easy,.

21 I bought a car, 24 I built a house, 30 I have 3 cars, shuo.. na wa.. for this naija we they.

KELVIN086:
i think your father just wants you guys to be strong and independent , in the long run you would come back to thank him.

Best opinion so far. Believe me, your dad wants the best for u. He wants the real man in u to come out. I believe he has explained his motive to your mum. If u act positvely, you would have a new outlook towarda life. At 21, you are already a man!

kimbra:
Your father is the most selfish human on earth. You should as well relay to him to keep aside money for his burial arrangement, 'cause if I were in your shoes, I won't spend a penny from my hard earned money in his burial. Even your mum isn't helpful, they suit each other for a couple.

Bae you nor get chill o But you just gave me brains too cos my Father even abandoned me a long time ago and now we're together, we keep fighting all the time all because he wouldn't take care of and hasn't been taking care of his family all this while and I keep asking what has he been doing with all those money. Even for a year now we don't talk to each other. So to break the silence I will just love to tell him to keep money for his burial else his corpse belongs to the canal behind his apartment case closed.

Efewestern:


one even said he started hustling at 15, so you expect a 15yrs old kid to leave his / her education and start looking for money?, the way they sound makes it looks as if life is that easy,.

21 I bought a car, 24 I built a house, 30 I have 3 cars, shuo.. na wa.. for this naija we they.

Lol shit reloaded.

This is funny, but i think your father made the right decision. He just wants to see you strong nd fishing fr ur self no matter how little

bencarson007:
. I respect ur maturity for apologising... Truce ?... I am also sorry about the way I responded...can we be friends? What I was trying to say is that I as a father should be there all the way for them to succeed... For instance, I can't just abandon my kids cos I am 50 and from what the op said, they are still very young and not even thru with school... So that's why I said the parents are delusional... As a father, I should have helped my kids stand firm by 26... That's why u r a dad...

26? When I was 26 I already lived in 3 countries by my self.. I was 16 when I left due to a no good family and I worked hard my whole life and went to school.. My first job was packing combs in plastic bags to be shipped to the store.. Then I was an art teacher for copple of years.. Moved to the us and now I'm a GM Manager at a retail store.. Life is hard but with God.. You can make it.. God has always guided my steps..

SalamRushdie:
You are 21 go out and hustle ....dude by 25 I bought a car for my my mum. ..I really like your dad he has tried ..I left my dad's home at 11 and I haven't spent 3 weeks there till today

It depends on who took you away from home at 11. I'm sure that your parents wouldn't put you on the street at 11 and you would come back home at 25 to gift them car. Telling half truth here to justify the OP's dad's action doesn't do this thread any justice. I'm not a fool.

KELVIN086:
i think your father just wants you guys to be strong and independent , in the long run you would come back to thank him.

By abandoning his responsibilities? By abandoning them when they needed him most? They could be easily influenced and mislead outside. They could easily go into crimes. You're not thinking straight.

I think your dad is going through mid life crisis. Also at 21 you are an adult and should start to find your own way in life. I also don't see anything wrong with your dad's decisions too many Nigerian youths are too dependent on parents and refuse to be independent.

rxgodwin:
This is funny, but i think your father made the right decision. He just wants to see you strong nd fishing fr ur self no matter how little

If every parents decide to make this kind of "right decision", don't you think Nigeria will become worse than this? Did your own parents also make this type of "right decision" in your own and siblings' case too?

johhnnie:


Best opinion so far. Believe me, your dad wants the best for u. He wants the real man in u to come out. I believe he has explained his motive to your mum. If u act positvely, you would have a new outlook towarda life. At 21, you are already a man!

I can't believe this. Having no parents, I get it. Having poor parents, I get it. But parents pushing their kids on the streets when they are at the age that requires supports from the parents is what I don't get.
Are you also going to abandon your responsibilities to your kids once they hit 20 even if they are still in school?

Legalbeing:
My name is john. Am twenty one
Here is my story. Not just a story but an irony of truth and lies.
Do u know that if any human clocks 50 all he keeps thinking was his death?....(daddy said so)
Just like a utility maximisation, we tend to reach to a point and depreciate.
My father abandoned me and my siblings
just because he will soon die and he need to plan and enjoy the few years he has to spend on earth. He told my Mum that we all have our own future fend for. if we keep expecting him to pay our school fees, buy cloths and feed us complete thrice and many more that we are joking.. He also told my elderst brother that the money he has is for him and his wife. I thought the joke was a plank.. Not until when my two elder brother left the home to no destination.. I sat to share issues with my mum who pointed out vividly that my Daddy made the right decision.
So i wonder if that is right.. Is it only my father that has that mentality or is it a general undertaken. Someone needs a help.

My dear, he discovered that you guys have become so confortable in his house. So, he indirectly want you guys to hit the street. Though his presentation was not wise, he has automatically installed a bad OS in you guys.

Legalbeing:
My name is john. Am twenty one
Here is my story. Not just a story but an irony of truth and lies.
Do u know that if any human clocks 50 all he keeps thinking was his death?....(daddy said so)
Just like a utility maximisation, we tend to reach to a point and depreciate.
My father abandoned me and my siblings
just because he will soon die and he need to plan and enjoy the few years he has to spend on earth. He told my Mum that we all have our own future fend for. if we keep expecting him to pay our school fees, buy cloths and feed us complete thrice and many more that we are joking.. He also told my elderst brother that the money he has is for him and his wife. I thought the joke was a plank.. Not until when my two elder brother left the home to no destination.. I sat to share issues with my mum who pointed out vividly that my Daddy made the right decision.
So i wonder if that is right.. Is it only my father that has that mentality or is it a general undertaken. Someone needs a help.

Ure dad is definitely try to avoid responsibility or has an 18 century mentality were at 18 u leave ur dads house marry and go farming lol. He doesn't want to face the competitiveness of the age we are in and support u guys to atleast finish ur education which is d least he can do. Hes mindset of enjoying himself at 60 is also highly irresponsible and ur mum doesn't hv a mind of her own bt that said he hv to think ahead for urself and grow up fast to start doing things for urself cos at d end of the day U are responsible for UR life and shud take Responsibility since ur dad chooses to be irresponsible. I can recommend a book for u to read that may push u in the right direction here. Cheers

Howmon:
Just assume he's dead and move on with your life

Best advice. sooner or later he wud realize his folly.

stagger:


Yes I bought that car under my father's roof, and his demeanour after that told me clearly that my days in his house were numbered. So I arranged myself and the next year, out I went from his house till date.

A boat can never have two captains, so I had to get my own boat. Get my drift?

I am inspired.
Here am i still living under the same roof with my parents.

maasoap:

It depends on who took you away from home at 11. I'm sure that your parents wouldn't put you on the street at 11 and you would come back home at 25 to gift them car. Telling half truth here to justify the OP's dad's action doesn't do this thread any justice. I'm not a fool.

Of course I wasn't thrown in the streets .

Legalbeing:
My name is john. Am twenty one
Here is my story. Not just a story but an irony of truth and lies.
Do u know that if any human clocks 50 all he keeps thinking was his death?....(daddy said so)
Just like a utility maximisation, we tend to reach to a point and depreciate.
My father abandoned me and my siblings
just because he will soon die and he need to plan and enjoy the few years he has to spend on earth. He told my Mum that we all have our own future fend for. if we keep expecting him to pay our school fees, buy cloths and feed us complete thrice and many more that we are joking.. He also told my elderst brother that the money he has is for him and his wife. I thought the joke was a plank.. Not until when my two elder brother left the home to no destination.. I sat to share issues with my mum who pointed out vividly that my Daddy made the right decision.
So i wonder if that is right.. Is it only my father that has that mentality or is it a general undertaken. Someone needs a help.

OP u got to man up..im 20 nd mah fada died wen i was just 12yr old den he was 45yr, nd am the only son..but i gotta hustle out for my self...now am averagely ok..hoping to complete the house am building for my mum soonest..so its no excuse..just think of somthing that will work for you...

Nina4u:
26? When I was 26 I already lived in 3 countries by my self.. I was 16 when I left due to a no good family and I worked hard my whole life and went to school.. My first job was packing combs in plastic bags to be shipped to the store.. Then I was an art teacher for copple of years.. Moved to the us and now I'm a GM Manager at a retail store.. Life is hard but with God.. You can make it.. God has always guided my steps..

. I am impressed Nina... That's a good one... I left home when I was 17, went to school and never came back home...8 years in banking and a couple of years in other firms and here I am standing today...not doing bad... But Nigeria today and past are two different things... Now,jobs are scarce...your so called salary or take home pay can't take you home, exploitation in places of work... My point is my kids must have finished schooling at 25 max depending on how early you start having them...the next four years here after school, is hell for them...I choose to be there for them...my dad in particular was NEVER there for me so I refuse to be that kind of dad...my kids,my life...BTW, I am really impressed with you Nina... Sorry about yesterday...I thought you were some online riff raff that wanted to spoil my day after a hard days job...trust me they do that a lot on NL...and I get touchy when it comes to topics involving family and kids... I had it very rough at childhood...so my apologies again

bencarson007:
. I am impressed Nina... That's a good one... I left home when I was 17, went to school and never came back home...8 years in banking and a couple of years in other firms and here I am standing today...not doing bad... But Nigeria today and past are two different things... Now,jobs are scarce...your so called salary or take home pay can't take you home, exploitation in places of work... My point is my kids must have finished schooling at 25 max depending on how early you start having them...the next four years here after school, is hell for them...I choose to be there for them...my dad in particular was NEVER there for me so I refuse to be that kind of dad...my kids,my life...BTW, I am really impressed with you Nina... Sorry about yesterday...I thought you were some online riff raff that wanted to spoil my day after a hard days job...trust me they do that a lot on NL...and I get touchy when it comes to topics involving family and kids... I had it very rough at childhood...so my apologies again

its ok.. Life has been very hard on me as well but I'm living proof you can make it if u have to.. God lissen to your prayers and will guide you to safty.. I never had nobody.. No mom no dad and if I hadn't left they'd probably would have killed me I dunno.. My brother he killed himself a year ago.. I ended up in a coma he was the only one I was close to.. We skyped and IMO every day.. But life goes on.. God give me strenght and guide me every day of my life

Nina4u:
its ok.. Life has been very hard on me as well but I'm living proof you can make it if u have to.. God lissen to your prayers and will guide you to safty.. I never had nobody.. No mom no dad and if I hadn't left they'd probably would have killed me I dunno.. My brother he killed himself a year ago.. I ended up in a coma he was the only one I was close to.. We skyped and IMO every day.. But life goes on.. God give me strenght and guide me every day of my life

. Sorry I forgot my manners... I failed to say good morning Nina... For this last comment, I am almost in tears... We share similarities but I am sensing that you had it a bit more rough... Sorry about mom and dad...wish I could know you better so we share experiences... I guess it won't hurt cos we are far away from each other... Life was tough for me but your reply now really hurt...on a lighter note, can I be your dad now... I will be there all the way...

bencarson007:
. Sorry I forgot my manners... I failed to say good morning Nina... For this last comment, I am almost in tears... We share similarities but I am sensing that you had it a bit more rough... Sorry about mom and dad...wish I could know you better so we share experiences... I guess it won't hurt cos we are far away from each other... Life was tough for me but your reply now really hurt...on a lighter note, can I be your dad now... I will be there all the way...

check ur mail.. I'm going to bed.. Got to work 8 am to 11 pm tomorrow and time is already 1 am.. Gnight