Jman06:
Naija ladies have just displayed the selfishness which they are known for on this thread.

I know deep down they always wish a guy could kill his mom so they can have it all. Yet they would love their own moms o, but expect the guy to abandon his own as if doing that would stop them from dumping the guy when the chips are down. Only foolish guys would allow a lady come between him and his mom and family generally.

Exactly my point! As a spinster, d #average average woman feels threatened by d man's mother and sees her as a competition, but once she becomes a mother-in-law herself, she finds herself in d same shoes as d 'devilish' mother-in-law she had hitherto hated.

#karma~tinz?!

Maccoy507:
anyone who has a good mother will know that a mother is like a second god after the most high in their life.

Preach it bro!

pocohantas:

My average, look for another person and use for your average comparison. If you're not an average mum's boy, I am not an average prospective clingy mother inlaw. Bye

I accept u 4 ur imperfections.....but
Next time use Gugu b4 u type, inugo?

Naija ladies have just displayed the selfishness which they are known for on this thread.

I know deep down they always wish a guy could kill his mom so they can have it all. Yet they would love their own moms o, but expect the guy to abandon his own as if doing that would stop them from dumping the guy when the chips are down. Only foolish guys would allow a lady come between him and his mom and family generally.

GhettoG1:
Have a son first nd u gonna understand, i swear if a girl question about my mum in a slight rude way or she's asking too much then even if it's hour's to our wedding I'm calling it quit. Shikena

anyone who has a good mother will know that a mother is like a second god after the most high in their life.

I think if you like to marry this guy....you have to love his mum 100%....take his mum to be your mum and you will be good to go.........he loves his mum and he will continue to love her....you can't change that rather accept it and live with it

pocohantas:

Boiz, does it have to be a competition?
Why are you men like this? Why did you marry her? To procreate, putting her life on the line and you keep loving your mother. What if she decides to love her own father and maybe siblings more, what love would be left for you both to enjoy as a couple?

Let's be realistic, it makes no sense.
Mothers should stop this blackmail, raise your sons to be strong men. They should go and create their own family. The bible said a man would leave his parents and cleave to his wife, it didn't make exception for single mothers or double mothers!!!

Can you marry a woman who boldly tells you, you come after her father? Women hardly make this statement, it's always you men. Can't you all be men for once. If your wives are not in a competition with side chicks, they're in a competition with your mothers, sisters, brothers...even family pet.

pocobaby, you didnt answer my one simple question.Ever heard of OEDIPUS COMPLEX... it is a sigmeud freud theory that is accepted globally.. although its usage has changed in recent times but its initial meaning is evident in almost all homes... it is stronger with mums and first sons..... as for the bolded, I hear ladies say "I WANT A LADY WHO WOULD LOVE ME LIKE MY DAD"=> anything short is inadequate.... you would become a mother in law someday.. I just wish i would be there to tell you "I TOLD YOU SO" if/when it happens..

grafitti:


Hmmm...., my economics teacher tot me dt opportunity cost iscd alternative forgone in d process of making a choice
This issue of he's a mummy's boy, u can't win. Its better u knowvdt now b4 u say I do
The problem is dt d average woman {be it mother/daughter, mother-in-law/daughter-in-law, sister/sister or wife/sister-in-law etc}- wants her space, pure and simple.
If u really want to have a looooooog-lasting marriage with ds particular chap,....*sighs* ......I'm afraid u have to lick ur mother-in-law's behind
"How'' u may ask.
U have to see her as ur own mother and not just ur mother-in-law! And this means taking a lot of BS from her! In other words , u'll have to be extra submissive to her-and this takes a lot of humility from u.

Can u be ds submissive? If yes, good, go ahead with d marriage; if ur answer is a 'no', dn don't bother going into this particular marriage as its a time bomb!
Know for sure that if u see her as 'd other woman/stranger/tresspasser/competitor' , there'll most def be clashes, and if u think bross will take side with u, I'm afraid.......(in dbanj's voice), u're on a looooong tin!!!
Best wishes



Cc pocohantas

matured thinking....the baby has to be extra submissve to the guy mama

ImaIma1:


Don't try to justify some unfounded ideas. My hubby is the first boy, his dad is late and he is his mother's husband but he certainly does not subscribe to this way of thinking.
I have never felt he puts his mum before me. He knows where to draw the line. That is exactly what most of you are missing.

my regards. In no place did the op mention the man puts the mom over her. A man running out of the house to make sure his mother is fine even when the mother said he shouldn't worry does not call for worry. If the mother called him and told him to leave everything he is doing and come to her including the fiance then there would be cause for alarm. It is better not to project what was never intended.

Ralphdan:


If you can't get on with him then you get out
People like you are why I ask myself if I will get married someday.
Do you even know what he has gone through with his mum?
U just show up and date him For some months and feel you are all he should pay attention to.
I smh at you ladies.

...Please do not get married..no one will miss your type..

..I wonder why you guys cant think like rational beings..will you be happy with a wife who calls her mum morning,noon and night??...who consults and asked for her opinion on every single issue concerning both of you?

...You can marry your mum if you cant grow up..period.

boiz2men:


pocobaby, you didnt answer my one simple question.Ever heard of OEDIPUS COMPLEX... it is a sigmeud freud theory that is accepted globally.. although its usage has changed in recent times but its initial meaning is evident in almost all homes... it is stronger with mums and first sons..... as for the bolded, I hear ladies say "I WANT A LADY WHO WOULD LOVE ME LIKE MY DAD"=> anything short is inadequate.... you would become a mother in law someday.. I just wish i would be there to tell you "I TOLD YOU SO" if/when it happens..

I guess while typing this, you forgot the mother may also be reaping what she did to her own MIL. Naso!!!

DocAdray:


Hello dear, please run away before it will be too late. The way it seems, he's closeness to his mum is scary and true to his words, he don't mind dying for/with his mum if need be. There ll be a lot of interference in your marriage. Break up with him else you'll regret it.

like seriously! Break up for no reason. That you consult your mom to advice you or render suggestions is now bad. Poor lady I feel for you because you the op is already finding faults where there's none. The way he meets his mother for advice doesn't he meet you. I think you are seeing his mother as COMPETITOr even before marriage so watch your steps. You might just lose a good husband, home and family because of unfounded ideas and ya attitude.

EasyWork001:



Only thing left na make u raise ur mama skirt
mama boy spotted

Thank you,
My mother still comes first

pocohantas:

I guess while typing this, you forgot the mother may also be reaping what she did to her own MIL. Naso!!!

lol.. its a cycle my dear... you would join someday... its inevitable

pocohantas:

Boiz, does it have to be a competition?
Why are you men like this? Why did you marry her? To procreate, putting her life on the line and you keep loving your mother. What if she decides to love her own father and maybe siblings more, what love would be left for you both to enjoy as a couple?

Let's be realistic, it makes no sense.
Mothers should stop this blackmail, raise your sons to be strong men. They should go and create their own family. The bible said a man would leave his parents and cleave to his wife, it didn't make exception for single mothers or double mothers!!!

Can you marry a woman who boldly tells you, you come after her father? Women hardly make this statement, it's always you men. Can't you all be men for once. If your wives are not in a competition with side chicks, they're in a competition with your mothers, sisters, brothers...even family pet.

This is nairaland Theory. it doesn't work in reality.

boiz2men:


lol.. its a cycle my dear... you would join someday... its inevitable

This thing you're saying is stale.
Whenever this topic comes up, you guys would be talking off point. The issue isn't him loving his mum, I doubt there is anywhere in my post that said he shouldn't love his mum.

The issue is not being able to take decisions without his mother's influence. If you think it's acceptable, marry a mom's girl that would put her mom before you, then put your own mom before her. Keep on taking decisions with your mothers influences. Let's see how the marriage will end up.

Fuckeen hypocrisy. Justifying what you all can't take. I'm out of here jare.

pocohantas:

This thing you're saying is stale.
Whenever this topic comes up, you guys would be talking off point. The issue isn't him loving his mum, I doubt there is anywhere in my post that said he shouldn't love his mum.

The issue is not being able to take decisions without his mother's influence. If you think it's acceptable, marry a mom's girl that would put her mom before you, then put your own mom before her. Keep on taking decisions with your mothers influences. Let's see how the marriage will end up.

Fuckeen hypocrisy. Justifying what you all can't take. I'm out of here jare.

is this what the thread is about? i didnt read the content but the topic... but then any other day, its my mum first.. all my childhood memories are still sharp in my head... some people have terrible mums .. i dont... if i lose my life, my wife can remarry and she would mourn me for only a time but my mum would mourn me all her life... mums can give their lives for their sons but wives cant.... i owe no one no apology.. if im in a critical situation where i have to choose who would live between my mum and wife.... i would choose my mum.. if you were born into affluence, you might never know what manner of love mums have for their children esp their sons... I remember just like yesterday when i got into admitted into school but there was no money to process my admission.. when i told her i was admitted into UNIBEN.. she was filled she joy and it became sour and she started to cry when she remembered it would cost money to be in med school for 6 good years... no where she didnt borrow money from to make sure i process the admission... I am a licensed health practitioner now. all thanks to her.... in fact, you made me emotional... i am going to call her now and say "THANK YOU" for no apparent reason...


In fact, i would choose my dad over anyone else sef .... u go born sha... me i know that one

boiz2men:


is this what the thread is about? i didnt read the content but the topic...

Next time read before commenting.

mrphysics:

This is nairaland Theory. it doesn't work in reality.

Fine...

NairaSand:


That I cherish my mom doesn't mean I have to call her twice a day everyday.

That's creepy to say the least.

A real man don't need the parent when making decisions. I don't need my mom to tell me what to do and this doesn't mean that I don't love her.

In case you're wondering, my mom has been my sole sponsor since the age of 3. No father, no relative. I love her so much but I'm not going to call her twice a day everyday to express my love.

she Neva mentioned he was asking her before making decisions. she just scared over nothing. our emotions differs. ask the op how many times he calls in a day? am sure he calls her more than once.

Pidgin2:


Because it can lead to future problems and it doesn't make sense for him or his mother to be so dependent on each other, it's very weird. I will never marry such a man if I notice such things about him

I will reiterate
You don't know the history.

Another possessive wife in the making. Within months of marriage, The mother in law would become a witch.
if she grow old enough to become a mother, the daughter in law will start from where she stops and the vicious circle continuous

Decide what is best for u.

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sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

I've only read the first page and honestly it's very annoying many of the comments I've seen. Especially where one person said a mother can never make decisions in the marriage of her son which would not be for his advantage. Like seriously? Are these people in this world or elsewhere?

Now to the matter... I'm going to tell you exactly how I would react in your shoes. For your good, I think it's a good advice but you do not have to take it though.


If truly you are dating a full grown man who has a full-time job and yet calls his mother every one hour, then I honestly do not think you need anyone to tell you that you are about to sign to become a passenger in your own life.
The Bible does indeed say that a man would leave his father and mother and stick with his wife. I tell you, a man who would leave his job to call a mother who is not sick every one hour, that man is not planning to leave his mother and stick with you.

It even becomes even more alarming when his mother complains of HEADACHE and he is ready to leave his job (in this recession) to buy drugs for headache even when the woman said she had it under control. As in, as he love im mama reach he no get phone number of anybody wey de d compound wey he fit call to buy drugs for am? Lol, That is some obsession there.

It depends on you though... If you don't mind being wife number 2 after his mum, you can go ahead.
While you are considering this, imagine a lifetime where you are constantly playing second fiddle after mumsy and it gets to a point you start being compared to mumsy... Your food, your housekeeping, etc.

If you mind, talk to him about it.... If it doesn't work, then please breakup, cry, and get stronger.

A man who loves his mother is gold as it shows you how well he cares for the first woman he ever had to care for.
However, a man whose mother is his soul is arsenic and can only bring you the poisonous venom of his obsession to his mother.


***If I were you, I would have only one option***
There are already plenty ups and downs that comes with marriage, the ones that you see before you enter, do your best to confirm if u can truly handle them

Jazmiynne:


I've only read the first page and honestly it's very annoying many of the comments I've seen. Especially where one person said a mother can never make decisions in the marriage of her son which would not be for his advantage. Like seriously? Are these people in this world or elsewhere?

Now to the matter... I'm going to tell you exactly how I would react in your shoes. For your good, I think it's a good advice but you do not have to take it though.


If truly you are dating a full grown man who has a full-time job and yet calls his mother every one hour, then I honestly do not think you need anyone to tell you that you are about to sign to become a passenger in your own life.
The Bible does indeed say that a man would leave his father and mother and stick with his wife. I tell you, a man who would leave his job to call a mother who is not sick every one hour, that man is not planning to leave his mother and stick with you.

It even becomes even more alarming when his mother complains of HEADACHE and he is ready to leave his job (in this recession) to buy drugs for headache even when the woman said she had it under control. As in, as he love im mama reach he no get phone number of anybody wey de d compound wey he fit call to buy drugs for am? Lol, That is some obsession there.

It depends on you though... If you don't mind being wife number 2 after his mum, you can go ahead.
While you are considering this, imagine a lifetime where you are constantly playing second fiddle after mumsy and it gets to a point you start being compared to mumsy... Your food, your housekeeping, etc.

If you mind, talk to him about it.... If it doesn't work, then please breakup, cry, and get stronger.

A man who loves his mother is gold as it shows you how well he cares for the first woman he ever had to care for.
However, a man whose mother is his soul is arsenic and can only bring you the poisonous venom of his obsession to his mother.


***If I were you, I would have only one option***
There are already plenty ups and downs that comes with marriage, the ones that you see before you enter, do your best to confirm if u can truly handle them

cluster headache,migraines can lead to suicidal attempt.... u go born too and ya son go marry....


continue with ya advice... i just wanted u to know one of the types of headache

frubben:


God bless u bros, anybody dat take wife over mum is a fool, a big one @ dat. because of 5 minutes pleasure. When my mum was inside the sun, receiving insult from little conductor bus just to get to work and put food on my table, does bitches where forming slay queen am nw a man u wan come control my love for my Mum. Thunder will fire the girl

So thunder will fire the woman that was inside sun, receiving insult form little conductor bus just to get to work and put food on the table of YOUR children. Isn't your wife going to be the MOTHER to your CHILDREN?!

boiz2men:



cluster headache,migraines can lead to suicidal attempt.... u go born too and ya son go marry....


continue with ya advice... i just wanted u to know one of the types of headache

enough of this.
You will marry too. Can you marry a girl that calls her father every hour? Doesn't take decisions without consulting her father? Can you?? Would you be happy with your father inlaw interfering in your marriage and marital decisions? Please marry that type of lady and you'll also know the types of headache.

pocohantas:

enough of this.
You will marry too. Can you marry a girl that calls her father every hour? Doesn't take decisions without consulting her father? Can you?? Would you be happy with your father inlaw interfering in your marriage and marital decisions? Please marry that type of lady and you'll also know the types of headache.

well done ma

boiz2men:


well done ma

I knew you can't say yes to that...bloody hypocrites

boiz2men:



cluster headache,migraines can lead to suicidal attempt....


continue with ya advice... i just wanted u to know one of the types of headache

You can't teach me the types of headaches there are. I spent about one and a half years of my life convincing medical specialists why my therapy is best for their patients.
But if you have eyes, you can open it and read and then discern that the Op was referring to the regular headache.

u go born too and ya son go marry....

Yes and I most definitely hope he would have a life of his own not one where he has to be calling me every one hour. Calling his mum at one hour intervals daily when she isn't sick is creepy! Accept it or leave it.

pocohantas:

I knew you can't say yes to that...bloody hypocrites

Jazmiynne:


You can't teach me the types of headaches there are. I spent about one and a half years of my life convincing medical specialists why my therapy is best for their patients.
But if you have eyes, you can open it and read and then discern that the Op was referring to the regular headache.


Yes and I most definitely hope he have a life of his own not one where he has to be calling me every one hour. Calling his mum at one hour intervals daily when she isn't sick is creepy! Accept it or leave it.

i like to read ya literature reviews, journals and statistical report on the said therapy..... Maybe we can wok it out to become a treatment regimen

sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

I think it's time to say, "It's over". Why? It will get worse when you're married. Mommy will always be in all your decision making and more.

PapaNnamdi:
Thank you,
My mother still comes first

Therefore, your wife will put her own parents before you, equation balance.

MissRaine69:

I will reiterate
You don't know the history.

You think the lady doesn't have a history too, didn't her mother suffer to give birth to her too. I think if the OP wants to marry the guy she should make sure her own mum or dad is placed above him. This is the only way they can live together amicably