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My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MemphisRaynes: 11:46pm On Jun 28, 2017
Hi, please I need honest and mature contribution on this matter. I love my wife so much, and I don't want to have a failed marriage, not so early.

My marriage is only 18months old. This is my wife's first Pregnancy, but I am having serious concerns about the paternity of the baby.

I trust(ed) my wife with all my heart and soul. She was away on a Job training for 6 months. The training finished on May 19th and we made love same day. She told me she last saw her period in May 16th so we both assumed she was in her safe period by May 19th before we made love. Actually we didn't want pregnancy or a baby yet because we are strained by resources for now.

My wife started complaining of strong tummy pain, plus her period hadn't shown up by June 12, so we went for a Pregnancy test and she was confirmed Pregnant. In fact the Lab attendant told me she is very pregnant. Days after I went through her chat while she was asleep and came across her chat with some guy, the chat was very suspicious. Actually the said guy is a Gynecologist, so she had told him she was Pregnant immediately after the test so as to get medical advice. In this chat the guy called my wife "luv", "dearie", talked about she visiting him, and my wife's response was to play along. At some point she even said she can't wait to visit the guy. The height of it was when the guy asked "how is our baby doing?"

I could not control my emotions after reading their chat, so I confronted my wife. She claim the guy was her best friend, that they met at her training. Actually she has always freely spoken to the guy via phone in my presence before this event so I had no suspicions until I read their chat. We quarrelled and she cried and cried swearing that she has never been with any man but me. She said she was heart broken I am doubting the paternity of her Pregnancy.

On June 26th, we were at the hospital for ultrasound scan and medical check up. The Ultra sound scan report says the pregnancy was 7weeks and 6days on June 26th. Now remember we first met on May 19th after about 6 months, also remember May 19th was three days after her period ended, she was supposed to be in her safe period. Now Let's assume she conceived on May 19th, between May 19th and June 26th is not upto 7weeks and 6days. Again I confronted her with these facts and she's been very emotional, she threatened that we must do paternity test after the baby is born to prove me wrong, she also warned that she will make my life hell after that test for doubting her faithfulness to me.

Please I don't know what to do next, my doubt is not fading because the numbers and events don't add up, I need useful suggestions please. Kindly note that I trust and love my wife, a part of me believes the baby is mine, its the maths that don't add up, and her chat with her Gynecologist best friend that keeps fueling my doubt. What is the best way to handle my situation?

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Jackeeh(m): 11:55pm On Jun 28, 2017
[/b] In this chat the guy called my wife "luv", "dearie", talked about she visiting him, and my wife's response was to play along. At some point she even said she can't wait to visit the guy. The height of it was when the guy asked "how is our baby doing?" [b]

After the above, you still think the baby is yours? And falling for your promiscuous wife's emotional blackmail?

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by eyinjuege: 11:57pm On Jun 28, 2017
Play along, and wait for the next 8months. Don't even mention it again
After delivery, just go to a center where they do DNA tests, and find out what you need to bring to do one. They may give you a swab, to scrape or rub on the inside of the cheek of your baby.
Collect it, and do that when you're alone with the baby.
Take sample back to the lab and do your test.
If the baby is yours, congrats. If its not yours, its still congrats. Do what you have to do/ your heart tells you to do.
Meanwhile, make sure you're also fertile before you make a decision on what to do if the baby isn't yours.

646 Likes 33 Shares

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Thewrath(m): 11:57pm On Jun 28, 2017
Just to clearify,Ask her why in the chat did she say she can't wait to visit him?

Secondly she is now married,man and woman cannot just be friends,talk less of best friend to a married woman,that is what they say to always eat their cake and still have it!

Any woman that has more than one sexual partner,can never know who is responsible for her pregnancy!


Women!!!

147 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Barney11: 11:59pm On Jun 28, 2017
the best way to cure ur doubt is to do the test so that it doesnt affect your love for the child.as for your wife she will forgive and also to teach her to have some limits in the way she interact with opposite sex.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:05am On Jun 29, 2017
Bro, as much as her story is dubious, there is NO point in doubting her until you have the paternity test... And if you have money, you can have that test BEFORE the baby is born.

The safest of these tests ( yes there are many) is called non-invasive prenatal paternity test NIPP, and it's the safest and most accurate one.

Btw since you said she used to talk to her "best friend" in your presence, did she indeed called him these pet names that were on the chat next to you?! And if she had her period on the 16th of May then there was still no need for concern on June 12.

Oh and what was the reply of the gyno when she told him she was pregnant?!

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by iPopAlomo(m): 12:23am On Jun 29, 2017
Your instincts reads true...

Don't fall maga... wise up!!!

7 weeks and some days is almost two months pregnant... if she gives birth a month earlier than expected...

You know what to do...

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by oglalasioux(m): 12:33am On Jun 29, 2017
Marriage is not mankind's nature. We are just forcing the fraud unto ourselves and getting hurt for the nonsense.

One day, religion and marriage will be abolished and the world will be peaceful ever after.

132 Likes 16 Shares

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MemphisRaynes: 12:34am On Jun 29, 2017
Dude. Please do not call my wife that. If you got no help to offer, then just read and learn.
Jackeeh:
[/b] In this chat the guy called my wife "luv", "dearie", talked about she visiting him, and my wife's response was to play along. At some point she even said she can't wait to visit the guy. The height of it was when the guy asked "how is our baby doing?" [b]

After the above, you still think the baby is yours? And falling for your whoring wife's emotional blackmail?

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MemphisRaynes: 12:36am On Jun 29, 2017
She sought medical advise from her Gyno friend when her tummy pains started, the guy prescribed some ulcer medication for her. She said when she told the guy she was pregnant, he replied he suspected it could also be pregnancy
MrBrownJay1:
Bro, as much as her story is dubious, there is NO point in doubting her until you have the paternity test... And if you have money, you can have that test BEFORE the baby is born.

The safest of these tests ( yes there are many) is called non-invasive prenatal paternity test NIPP, and it's the safest and most accurate one.

Btw since you said she used to talk to her "best friend" in your presence, did she indeed called him these pet names that were on the chat next to you?! And if she had her period on the 16th of May then there was still no need for concern on June 12.

Oh and what was the reply of the gyno when she told him she was pregnant?!
Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by coolcatty: 12:40am On Jun 29, 2017
This life ehen....I really feel and pity you....you know the truth...your wife knows the truth too....you are just here to hear something that will make you happy.see the wY you turned to a mathematician because of trust....

Oga,you have been played....that baby ain't yours....you need to get yourself tested for any stds....sorry for your loss.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:50am On Jun 29, 2017
MemphisRaynes:
She sought medical advise from her Gyno friend when her tummy pains started, the guy prescribed some ulcer medication for her. She said when she told the guy she was pregnant, he replied he suspected it could also be pregnancy

What do you mean "she said" is that part not in the chat you read?!

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MemphisRaynes: 12:52am On Jun 29, 2017
No it wasn't in the chat. She told the guy about the Pregnancy in my presence via call. I actually suggested it since the guy is a Gyno and could be of help medically. But this was before I read that chat.
MrBrownJay1:


What do you mean "she said" is that part not in the chat you read?!

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by coolcatty: 12:53am On Jun 29, 2017
MrBrownJay1:


What do you mean "she said" is that part not in the chat you read?!

That's what she told him...she obviously passwords her phone and fed her husband whatever she seems fit and the slow niggggah cra to a faceless forum to validate her myriads of lies.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Franky826: 12:54am On Jun 29, 2017
wink

lol bro relax till the baby is born. even though stories cannot be same but...

exactly same thing happened to my eldest brother and his wife. though he doubted the paternity of the child due to the timing of the pregnancy relative to when they had intimacy. bro nothing added up.
he doubted till he let my mum privy on the matter. as oldie with experience mum told him to relax. August 4th 2 years ago baby boy show.

1. Boy had a mismatch on his hairline in same position exactly like my brother grin

2. Boy didn't start talking on time exactly like my brother grin

3. boy snores in same pattern exactly like my brother grin

Now when you ask my brother if he needs to do a DNA test he will even slap you join grin

380 Likes 30 Shares

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by alukstea(m): 12:57am On Jun 29, 2017
Complicated World.

Love is one crazy abstract feeling .

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MrBrownJay1(m): 1:08am On Jun 29, 2017
Well, if it was in your shoes, I would put on a serious face and let her know straight up that you will have a DNA test (personally) the minute that baby is out, as her story is more fake than Kim K's booty. And if she is not truthful NOW that the opportunity arises to come clean, yet you discover later that she has been lying to you all this time, the consequences will be graver.

Them patiently wait 7 months...

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by jokepearl(f): 3:02am On Jun 29, 2017
1st, pregnancy date is counted from the day of your last period not the day you conceived.

So if your wife period started May 12th, then she is almost 7weeks pregnant.

2nd, Scan uses the size of the baby at a time to predict the age, this may change and vary everytime a scan done. Also big babies appear older with a scan.

So relax

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by shege45: 4:58am On Jun 29, 2017
its straight forward the baby aint urs.dnt mind wat shex saying its emotional blackmail infact it shld b d more reason u shld investigate further...jst b calm for now until its born.if its urs fyn if nt urs,throw her out with this speed 3×10^8m/s (i.e speed of light )

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by jomoh: 5:40am On Jun 29, 2017
MemphisRaynes:
No it wasn't in the chat. She told the guy about the Pregnancy in my presence via call. I actually suggested it since the guy is a Gyno and could be of help medically. But this was before I read that chat.


Golden rule! never ever doubt the paternity of a pregnancy before birth except you're 100percent sure. What if she terminates the pregnancy and claim she had a miscariage? Then you will never know if she's been cheating on you.
Secondly what if the child turns out to be yours. Nobody ever want to hear the story that his father doubted his paternity during pregnancy.

Have you tried to do another scan somewhere else to get a second opinion about it and if possible a third opinion(scan). The first scan result could be wrong.

Even though there's evidence to be doubtful but not enough to confront your wife.

If the second and third opinion says the same thing then you can wait till after the birth of the child for a proper test.

Also the gyneacologist might not be the one she's cheating on you with, he might be the one she went to for advice after having sex and discovering that she might be pregnant.

Is your wife in the medical line? if not, why is she on a 6months training with a gyneacologist? Try and get to know if truly they were in the same training.

Also what are the odds that she made friends with a gynaecologist in training and she became pregnant shortly after the training then the first person she complain of a stomach pain to was a gyneacologist and not a general practitioner.

It's good to conclude in your mind with these evidences but you shouldn't have confronted her because your suspicion might turn out to be false.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Jackeeh(m): 6:38am On Jun 29, 2017
MemphisRaynes:
Dude. Please do not call my wife that. If you got no help to offer, then just read and learn.
.
You don't need or deserve any help!

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by cococandy(f): 6:44am On Jun 29, 2017
Estimated gestational age usually adds two weeks to the actual age of the fetus. So using your mathematical skills may lead you wrong.

However if you have genuine doubt, take her up on the DNA offer.
You'll have to live with the result.
Negative = heartbroken.
Positive= a wife who will forever make you miserable for doubting her faithfulness.
Not doing the test = consistent doubt about the real father of your child.

There's really no easy way out for you here. Just chose the option that you can live with the results.

I wish you and your new family the best of luck.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Nobody: 6:52am On Jun 29, 2017
Relax. It's your baby. If you feel unsure, please go to a reputable DNA testing clinic after the baby is born. However your wife may harbor negative feelings towards you if you get the test.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by schumastic(m): 7:16am On Jun 29, 2017
bro all this addition and subtraction with her period time table won't give you the answer you seek.

just go for paternity test, that's all..if is yours you will know and if not, don't forget to let us know as well.

the only issue i have here, is your wife closeness to the gyno guy, am not saying is all that bad but women should know when not to cross the line. i keep saying it, no guy wants to be friends with any girl just like that.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by jieta: 7:26am On Jun 29, 2017
there is no need for argument just do DNA test simple as that.
Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by NoToPile: 8:25am On Jun 29, 2017
jokepearl:
1st, pregnancy date is counted from the day of your last period not the day you conceived.

So if your wife period started May 12th, then she is almost 7weeks pregnant.

2nd, Scan uses the size of the baby at a time to predict the age, this may change and vary everytime a scan done. Also big babies appear older with a scan.

So relax

Thank God someone said this.

I repeat again preggy is counted from the first day of your LMP, so if her period finished on the 16th her period should have started maybe on the 12 th or so , count that down to the 26th of June you have your 7weeks.

So technically if you are five weeks preggy they will say its 7weeks which is gotten after adding 2 extra weeks.

You should have asked questions and made your research on how they count pregnancy length online before accusing her or should have just waited to do a DNA.

You should have honestly, now if and when you do that DNA test and the baby is yours, shey you know trust has been broken.

The simple truth of the matter is your calculation is wrong because that's not how its calculated.

Let's hope she doest make your life hell like she threathened, but ehn if that baby is yours you are in for a long ride.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by warrah(m): 8:43am On Jun 29, 2017
jokepearl:
1st, pregnancy date is counted from the day of your last period not the day you conceived.

So if your wife period started May 12th, then she is almost 7weeks pregnant.

2nd, Scan uses the size of the baby at a time to predict the age, this may change and vary everytime a scan done. Also big babies appear older with a scan.

So relax



Biko explain, how is pregnancy date counted from the last day of the peroiod

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by MicroBox: 8:53am On Jun 29, 2017
Op Are you sure you are old enough to be a husband?
You are expected to quietly play along all through this period, home kit paternity test is available everywhere, Both old and new technology are also available to know 99.9 percent of who the father is.
You have already damage but not destroy your marriage with this suspicion.
When I took my wife for Ultra Sound Scan test, our calculation is far different from the result in-terms of the date she concieve (weeks difference ) but I am keeping cool until....
Though I read that, Ultra Sound Scan result always come with Plus or Minus two weeks.
Please just go tell your wife that you are sorry and make sure she forget about it before putting to bed. Anytime she raise the issue, tell her that you're just so upset about the chat and nothing more. Definitely after she put yo bed, she will immediately ask you to go for the test. Please and please never forget to tell her that you are sorry that she should forget about that....
But Dude, Please secretly collect the specimen, run to the lab and be sure of the baby paternity.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by jashar(f): 9:44am On Jun 29, 2017
this one get weight gan....

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by naturalwaves: 10:00am On Jun 29, 2017
MemphisRaynes:
Hi, please I need honest and mature contribution on this matter. I love my wife so much, and I don't want to have a failed marriage, not so early.

My marriage is only 18months old. This is my wife's first Pregnancy, but I am having serious concerns about the paternity of the baby.

I trust(ed) my wife with all my heart and soul. She was away on a Job training for 6 months. The training finished on May 19th and we made love same day. She told me she last saw her period in May 16th so we both assumed she was in her safe period by May 19th before we made love. Actually we didn't want pregnancy or a baby yet because we are strained by resources for now.

My wife started complaining of strong tummy pain, plus her period hadn't shown up by June 12, so we went for a Pregnancy test and she was confirmed Pregnant. In fact the Lab attendant told me she is very pregnant. Days after I went through her chat while she was asleep and came across her chat with some guy, the chat was very suspicious. Actually the said guy is a Gynecologist, so she had told him she was Pregnant immediately after the test so as to get medical advice. In this chat the guy called my wife "luv", "dearie", talked about she visiting him, and my wife's response was to play along. At some point she even said she can't wait to visit the guy. The height of it was when the guy asked "how is our baby doing?"

I could not control my emotions after reading their chat, so I confronted my wife. She claim the guy was her best friend, that they met at her training. Actually she has always freely spoken to the guy via phone in my presence before this event so I had no suspicions until I read their chat. We quarrelled and she cried and cried swearing that she has never been with any man but me. She said she was heart broken I am doubting the paternity of her Pregnancy.

On June 26th, we were at the hospital for ultrasound scan and medical check up. The Ultra sound scan report says the pregnancy was 7weeks and 6days on June 26th. Now remember we first met on May 19th after about 6 months, also remember May 19th was three days after her period ended, she was supposed to be in her safe period. Now Let's assume she conceived on May 19th, between May 19th and June 26th is not upto 7weeks and 6days. Again I confronted her with these facts and she's been very emotional, she threatened that we must do paternity test after the baby is born to prove me wrong, she also warned that she will make my life hell after that test for doubting her faithfulness to me.

Please I don't know what to do next, my doubt is not fading because the numbers and events don't add up, I need useful suggestions please. Kindly note that I trust and love my wife, a part of me believes the baby is mine, its the maths that don't add up, and her chat with her Gynecologist best friend that keeps fueling my doubt. What is the best way to handle my situation?
Your suspision is most likely right. Forget about all the acting rubbish. That's how most of them do. Some will even cry that you will almost apologise but na lie in most cases. So, don't listen to those saying relax bla bla bla.
Being a tech guy, I once spoofed a lady's MAC address and was following her up and getting all messages just so I know her well before putting my hands in fire. If you see what I saw, the devil himself will be shocked. After I confronted her in a subtle way, she kept on acting for me. More evidences , more acting....all those regular baby, I cannot believe you don't trust me bul.sshhit. Until I reeled out the undiluted chats. They are only sorry when caught.

The truth is that you married a flirt who does not have regard for the institution called marriage. Why would she call some other dude such sweet names when she has a husband. Some women are just heartless. How would she feel when you receive calls from females and call them " my love" , "sweet heart" etc. What is she going to see a gyna for? Just for a 7 week old baby? He even had the guts to say.....how is our baby doing. SMH.

The baby may turn out yours but your wife deserves no respect for disrespecting your marriage. Feel free to give out your numbers too and chat, call freely with females while calling them sweet names in her presence. Maybe she will come back to her senses.

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Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by joyAA(f): 10:02am On Jun 29, 2017
There are sound advise here!

Oga, please just chill till baby is born and secretly do d DNA test tho its a bit expensive.

Just curious about the so called gynae that calls her 'luv' and wants to know when next she will 'come', it is suspicious but quit letting her in on the suspicion na, act normal and keep watching

You'd find out soon enough if something had transpired, or is still happening

Cheers

Congrats in advance on the baby if its yours

9 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. by Nobody: 10:31am On Jun 29, 2017
MemphisRaynes your wife is 7+weeks gone. Depending on your wife period length and ACL(average cycle length). Let's assume her period length is 5/6days and her ACL 25/26days and the last time she saw her AF was 16May, that means her first day was 10/11/12. So calculate from then or you can use an online pregnancy calculator. She'll be due February.
Meanwhile you met her on her fertile stage and not safe period cheesy

You can show her this thread, she's highly welcomed
https://www.nairaland.com/889053/pregnancy-pregnant-going-through-high

You should've queried her based on the message you saw. I wonder how she'll feel when you do DNA test and the baby is actually yours.

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