According to one pronounced writer, Odimegwu Onwumere, he said in his book that divorce is a disgrace to Marriage. you critically stated and outlined the history and origin of divorce from time immemorial. According to him, I believe why there are so much divorce this time is partly because people have forgotten their root and background. especially our cultures and adopted white man culture and way of life. That book "Disgrace of Marriage" by Odimegwu Onwumere, is a must read for both married and intending couple.

Nofuckgiven:
Wait oh! OP do you know that marriage is not compulsory? Even God never mentioned it in the Bible as compulsory, that is why divorce is an alternative. For those who see it as a sin,you can go ahead and die in marriage. While those who are strong enough to live as singles make their choice. Just let people be.

Haba! Never said it is a must, but what is the essence leaving with flimpsy error na.

prettyblaqy:
According to one pronounced writer, Odimegwu Onwumere, he said in his book that divorce is a disgrace to Marriage. you critically stated and outlined the history and origin of divorce from time immemorial. According to him, I believe why there are so much divorce this time is partly because people have forgotten their root and background. especially our cultures and adopted white man culture and way of life. That book "Disgrace of Marriage" by Odimegwu Onwumere, is a must read for both married and intending couple.

disgrace is even understatement.

You're right, the rate is alarming! not jus celebs

bamisepeters:
Haba! Never said it is a must, but what is the essence leaving with flimpsy error na.

I am very sure most divorced couples didn't leave with 'flimsy' error. Maybe a select few.

Op, am not a feminist. My problem is I hate injustice, I can't stand it nor would I encourage a man to remain with a wife that cheats on him, beats him, lies to him, refuses to take care of the family etc I would tell him to run, the society would tell him to run, his family would tell him to run. But if a.woman in the same situation decides to live, the society, her family, friends etc would be against her, they would start calling her all sorts of names. That's unjust. Even the examples you made in your write up were all men cheating on their wives. Had it been it was the woman that cheated you would have encouraged divorce.

Sarang:
It's their choices op. Keep your opinion to yourself. Let people live the way they want. It's not everyone that can forgive a cheating partner especially if they are faithful.

For me it's a no never.

while you lend your own opinion?

Firstly, you only gave examples of men who cheated on their wives and their wives forgave them. You did not give any example of a woman who cheated on her husband and the husband forgave her and continued with the marriage. Give that sort of example and let us know if the husband forgave the cheating wife. You and I both know that the cheating wife is usually sent packing but for the cheating husband, the wife should forgive him and remain in the marriage as the wider society expects her to do so. Women really do have the short end of the stick.

Secondly, the women who decided to end their marriages as a result of their husbands cheating on them SHOULD NOT BE CASTIGATED. Do you know how difficult it is to forgive a cheating husband/wife? The wedding vows you take, are not taken for the fun of it as they are vows that needs to be adhered to and cheating on your spouse, SHOULD BE AN ABHORRENT AND NEEDS TO BE AVOIDED.

Finally, If you resolve in your heart that you will not cheat on your spouse, then NO MATTER THE TEMPTATION, YOU WILL THINK OF HOW HURT YOUR SPOUSE WILL BE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU CHEATED ON THEM WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT ALONE IS ENOUGH DETERRENT.

I refuse to buy this one ,if I ever find any man beating a woman all in the name of she's my wife ,abeg that woman should not only divorce him,flee from such man,once a beater will always be panel beater and trust me the end is near ...

Op I disagree, most marriages crash not because of cheating, no. Its when domestic violence becomes a norm in it. 95% of men who uses their spouse as punching bags are 100% cheaters.
Do ur research again. Even the white may look the other way if its jut cheating but not when DV is involved.
Anybody who advises a woman to go back to a man who abuses her physically is very wicked and evil. Some idiotic people will keep asking what a woman did to warrant being beaten. She must have run her mouth they will conclude. She must have insulted the man some will say. But when she ends up dead. That's when u hear them calling the man unprintable names. So sisters save ur self its only when a woman dies that people are concerned. When u are being lead to death most don't see the error in that. Leave that man who abuses u, he's not worth a hair on you. Save your selves so ur precious kids won't end up alone.

LEOVOLUTION:


while you lend your own opinion?

You don't have to care about mine either.

prettyblaqy:
According to one pronounced writer, Odimegwu Onwumere, he said in his book that divorce is a disgrace to Marriage. you critically stated and outlined the history and origin of divorce from time immemorial. According to him, I believe why there are so much divorce this time is partly because people have forgotten their root and background. especially our cultures and adopted white man culture and way of life. That book "Disgrace of Marriage" by Odimegwu Onwumere, is a must read for both married and intending couple.

You will tag divorce a disgrace because u must be enjoying ur marriage if u married or u don't relatives who are in bad marriages. Being a divorce wife is better than a dead one. The only answer to domestic violence is separation/ divorce cos there's no guarantee he will stop till u are dead.

OP, u better go and sit down... marriage is far more complicated than it's being described sef..

bamisepeters:
thanks for that correction.

You're welcome

When you thread starters and commenters are ready to preach the same tolerance to men when their wives cheat as you do to women when their husbands cheat, then you will be taken seriously. Until then, GTFO with your hypocrisy

Anextin:
Op I disagree, most marriages crash not because of cheating, no. Its when domestic violence becomes a norm in it. 95% of men who uses their spouse as punching bags are 100% cheaters.
Do ur research again. Even the white may look the other way if its jut cheating but not when DV is involved.
Anybody who advises a woman to go back to a man who abuses her physically is very wicked and evil. Some idiotic people will keep asking what a woman did to warrant being beaten. She must have run her mouth they will conclude. She must have insulted the man some will say. But when she ends up dead. That's when u hear them calling the man unprintable names. So sisters save ur self its only when a woman dies that people are concerned. When u are being lead to death most don't see the error in that. Leave that man who abuses u, he's not worth a hair on you. Save your selves so ur precious kids won't end up alone.

didn't specify the cause, it's been so many things, cheating is just one.

This is good

If i am to look critically at the comments made by people on this very topic, there is something I notice which is women hate cheat. And there is a simple fact when people hate and that is ''tolerance is always low"

Can we now classify cheat as unpardonable or unforgiven sin?

Although, I understand that it isn't easy to get such unfaithful act out of one's mind but I believe if the guy decided to change permanently and never repeat such act, he should be forgiven.

But my question now is "How do one know if a guy won't be tempted to fall into the same ditch?". A guy that cheat is like a dog that suck blood for the first time, the tendency to repeat the same is on a high level.

Lastly, divorce may seem as the best option but the long-term effect is always deadly.

[quote author=elantraceey post=58260172]I can't tolerate a cheat, at least the Bible has given me leverage to divorce on the grounds of infidelity, if he's not satisfied with me, I'll simply walk away...My life is too precious. [/quote
But the divorcee and the divorced cannot remarry.