herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

So because you are a slut then every other person is a slut

hey woman, ur man is hanging out with d very wrong kindof people...

u shld pray to God...

dnt worry so much...so it doesnt affect ur present state...u must try to remain excited at all times...

a battle line has been drawn...so its time to fight...but this u must do in a very positive way so dat God can back u...

u&ur husband will become stronger!...

WiredLeggings:
It's insensitive and disturbing for him to tell you that he doesn't owe you faithfulness. For him to say it to your face means he really believes he's entitled to being unfaithful to you and he will act on it, or has been doing it already. You're his wife, of course he owes you faithfulness! And you, him. I hope he can change his ways.

so basically u re trying to fight for her?instead of you to give her best advice u re there busy castigating the husband, so if they finally break u will wife or accommodate her,some drastic measure doesn't requires drastic movement

For me, I would advice u neva go through his personal stuffs again if u don't want to have HBP. The day I went through my wife's phone was d day I realized she has been lieing to me tho not on cheating level which gave me headache. Since then, I stopped checking her phone oh. Man can not come and die young. To the topic, I really feel ur pain. Have u asked him why it has to come to this stage of him cheating. What does he see in d oda lady he is not seeing in u. Sit him down and have a heart to heart talk. Confronting him will make matters worse. I am just surprised he is not remorseful, prob he is fed up about something and wants a way out. Remember to pray. All d best dear

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

my sister, you have noting to worry about, the only error that is about crushing your happiness is confronting him. you have blown the perception out of proportion. call him and beg him that you are sorry for over jealous and nagging. pretend that he has stopped and surely he will

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Op drop ur main Monika. Then I will lead u to that woman.

Honestly I know how you feel but you should know there are men that don't pride themselves in sleeping around it's not natural it's a spiritual battle you can only fight from your knees

But, what makes you think he will cheat on you? Except the content of the chats were raunchy, it may probably just be a casual hangout. The guy was most likely angry when he told you he owes you no faithfulness. That sounds like anger talking. I know I don't like it when any lady goes snooping in my phone. I know your husband said that because he was unhappy about your doing it.

Still, the two of you need to have a conversation like people are saying. He owes you an explanation to why he was arranging a rendezvous with another lady. And also limit the way you go checking his social media pages.

I am not married. So take what I just said with a pinch of salt.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

So u would have cheated on her. Mtchewwwww. All men are like that abi? Unfaithful. Nonsense and Apc

for him to be bold like that... my sister use prayer cos most girls nowadays use juju. I hope you're not based in PH

D picz downward tels u my thought on these

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Lemme be honest with you...
In every marriage , yes I'm generalizing and I repeat in EVERY MARRIAGE

At least one party cheats... If not both sha

Now men who respect their wives(and vice versa) covertly cheat... Those who don't overtly cheat ... It's all about respect

He said he doesn't owe you faithfulness... Something's VERY intriguing about such statement , you haven't told us the full story

You don't owe your partner Faithfulness? This is a big one. This one is too much to handle. Once a person begins this show of unfaithfulness, I honestly don't think any advice will make them stop. You'd need a miracle for him to shelf that mentality. This one is big. I think there are two options. Manage him and try to talk him out of the madness, talk with an elder if it fails, his family, whoever wedded both of you. Or quit.

For a man to say he doesn't owe you faithfulness tells a lot. Is he tired? Didn't make those oaths? Do you irritate him now? Even if you do, where does such boldness come from? Are you doing something that's shrinking your worth in his eyes? And even if your worth fell, the question still is, where does such boldness come from?

Just pretend as if everything is normal. He will come back to you.

Don't just worry yourself my dear

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Pray and be patient.... Request he run some STD tests eventually just to b safe on ur part.... It's well. Have no trust in man but Allah.

Op...my question to you. ..why were you going through his phone? Whatever is your answer... it will boil down to trust... you do not trust him. How do you expect to have a smooth marriage without trust? You don't trust him...why would you trust/believe whatever he says if you sit him down to discuss the issue? Your marriage was fine until you start digging for dirt. If you dig for dirt you'll bound to find it. Then for your husband to say he never promised you faithfulness.... oh well. .. I can only guess it's not the first time he be drooling such words.... and I guess before marriage it was no secret that he was not the faithful type. Maybe after the baby pops out he will begin to behave like a husband.

Jahblessme:
As usual nairaland resident bingos have started crawling out of their holes to tell you this is normal behaviour and ask you to pray.They are the sort of men your husband is mingling with encouraging him to be a dog like them because they have no self control & believe every man is born with no moral compass.

My dear OP,when he told you he doesn't owe you faithfulness what did you do?were you there looking at him like an olodo or did you defend your union and your beliefs there and then?I will give you small space for shock to settle in but after then what next?

Did you woman up and speak clearly ,sharply and concisely about your expectations to him?

Did you ask him if he doesn't owe you faithfulness are you also free to assume that you do not owe fidelity to him as well?

Did you marry an ancestor that you are a slave to?Your age gap looks like its from 8-10 years-did he pay for your schooling?Do you have a job and contribute to your home?Even if you do not work ,you care for your home and do housework,is that appreciated? I'm asking these questions cos that is what usually gives some people guts to misbehave.When you are helpless and especially have no source of income and they know it.Regardless,no one deserved to be hurt in this manner.

It is a free world and people are free to voice their opinion o but for a man to come out less than two years after marriage to boldly say he doesn't owe you faithfulness,he must feel you are waaay beneath him to be respected.

When you signed the dotted lines you did not sign up to be cheated on,you did not sign up to be exposed to STDs,please relay that to him without apologies.

I find it hard to believe that this man hasn't always been this way.No normal loving partner would be this bold.There are plenty issues lurking,there must be heavy disrespect in other aspects of your marriage ,its just that this one has pained you more than the others.

As you can read i'm not into begging or pampering when you are not at fault ,you should be the one who is begged and pampered after your discovery. If you begin to wail and beg and gnash your teeth,you will continue like this for the rest of your marriage-this is what the bingos will ask you to do to 'save your marriage',thereby putting you at a huge disadvantage and at the mercy of a human being like you(born of a woman just like you).Please learn to stand up for yourself-calm measured discussion ,no huffing and puffing,no begging.Just clear statement of facts.
After this discussion you can now decide your next steps.

Good Luck.

Mrs adviser when u done breaking her home,u will take her responsibilities upon yourself, so many of u young girls out the don't know what marriage is all about but u wanna advise the married ones,u re indirectly advising her to take a drastic measure to this sensitive issue,to the op Abeg don't listen to most of the opinions here,try seek advise from couples who had experience abt this nd maneuver

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Divorce him immediately and become a single mom! If Tonto Dike can do it, why can't you? Fight him, sieze his phones, shout at him, refuse him sex. Even join a lesbian relationship. Men are scum, they are worthless, they are all heart breakers!
Or.....
You can really make a turn around difference in your relationship by taking the following steps...

The choice is yours!

do not seek to make your self loved all the time. sometimes, a little dimension of your readiness to break ties and dispense with him, or ensure his or any other persons ruins, in the event that you are toyed with is necessary. this is because, men are more likely to be bound by dread of consequence than by a feeling of obligation called love.

Do not mind home breakers, I don't think he intends to cheat on you he should probably be discussing things that might benefit the both of you. Forget what he said, he never meant it. Enjoy your marriage!

humeeh:
Hullo op.Sorry bouh this.

You gotta have an heart to heart talk with your husband.Sit him down and let him give u his listening ear.And trash this out asap.You don't have to raise voices.Be calm

Cux for your husband to tell u e owes u no faithfulness even in his right state of mind,then you gotta act fast.

Check yourself also and work on where u think u might be lagging behind since u got preg.We never can tell if na there prob start.Cux some men can really be annoying once their wife takes in.


God will surely help u and your marriage will scale thru hard times.Asokale anfaani o

Counselor of laive

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Speak for yourself I sure won't be like that when married

If one will cheat like a goat why get married ?

Donjazzy12:

Divorce him immediately and become a single mom! If Tonto Dike can do it, why can't you? Fight him, sieze his phones, shout at him, refuse him sex. Even join a lesbian relationship. Men are scum, they are worthless, they are all heart breakers!
Or.....
You can really make a turn around difference in your relationship by taking the following steps...

The choice is yours!

U well so??
Shey o ya werey sha
Abi werey n shey baba werey e ni?

Hmmm!!!!! I don't even know what to say in this... when a husband says he does not owe the wife faithfulness

What did they use to officiate the marriage.. Amadioha or Sango...even these deities love faithful followers

Really sorry about all what is happening to you now and all that you are going through but my Advice to you might sound somehow but i believe that if you will do what i tell you now and pray and believe it with all your heart it will work out.
Get this Movie "War Room" it comes with great empath. Thanks

PaperLace:


THERE IS NO TRUTH IN YOUR STATEMENT!

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME!
ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES!
ALL MEN ARE NOT INSENSITIVE TO THEIR WIVES FEELINGS!
ALL MEN DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

It's people like you that gives small-small girls guts to generalize all men are dogs. Please, speak for yourself next time, or the men in your circle alone.

Men are everywhere, it's husband that's scarce. Husband that'll give you peace of mind. Not horseband that saddles you with the burden of "keeping" him.

Nice finishing

Don be hard on your husband if not you will lose him, pray for him, and advice him even if he will cheat, let him protect himself, buy condom and give to him as well, he might be ashamed of himself.

YourCoffin:


It's the truth.

All men take the easy way out. If you haven't noticed that then you are on a long thing

Nt all men, only he goats take the easy way out.

Every marriage has its storms, good thing is that with wisdom and fervent prayers, God will definitely calm this storm. Sit back and think, have u offended him in anyway, is there something you think you have been doing and he has consistently complained about? Are you still doing the things that got him attracted to you? There might be something behind that statement of him not owing u his faithfulness. I don't know your religion or level of faith but my first advice for you is that you take out time to pray, this is because there are somethings we can't change by our powers alone.

Secondly, show him more love, care and attention, always dress well, give him a good treat at night then probably when he is relaxed you could tell him you are not comfortable with those chats that he should not give room for things that could tear your home apart. Say it once and let it go, then act like nothing happen. I think men are even more scared when u show them love knowing fully well that they have hurt you.

Two shall become one but respect his privacy, even if u see stuffs on his phone, jokingly ask about them when he is in a happy mode, don't make it too official.

I know its easier to proffer advice when you aren't going through the challenge but I hope things work out for you both. Cheers babe.