coolcatty:


Dull thing.... Stop displaying you Moroniic ignorance in public and learn to read more......... Commonsense should have told you they have had their introduction and traditional marriage hence the cohabitation.


Dullina..

ikp120:
Oga leave that woman o. Delete her completely from your life. Don't say you weren't warned.

yomi007k:



Ur in trouble o.



The bond between she n her family is stronger dan d one between the 2 of u.

jashar:
you're not yet married.
you're living together.
your 'future sister-in-law' even had the effrontery to pack load and come stay with you guys.
her parents know you're not yet married and they let another child of theirs come and live with you.
there's a young child also living with you and getting certain impressions.
Na wa ooo...

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

mylove4him:
I am sorry to say most of the people getting married now don't know what it is to stay married. So far u have agreed to come together, you have lost every sense of your individual life and decisions. Any thing you want to do and you know that it will impact negative on your spouse he or she is supposed to be in the know.

Marriage issues aren't solved by knowing the immediate cause, you have to know the root cause. For those blaming the man. The root cause is the woman bringing the sister without informing him. In which isn't supposed to be like that. The man only reacted the way he reacted because he felt his position was undermined.

Though he is wrong to have told his cousin to tell him whatsoever happens in the house. This isn't sustained cos he is the man n not the woman.

The woman should have informed the hubby that the sister is coming to stay. I hate couples who put his or her spouse in the middle.

Married couples please learn how to respect each other. Inform your spouse wen any of your family is coming to stay. And if they came n exceeded the number of days already told. Have the courtesy to go back and inform your spouse that their stay have been extended. Even if you are the man bringing the money. The woman has a role to play too. As your money can't stand up n cook for your siblings. Or even the woman providing more. You need to Accord respect to the man by carrying him along.

If couples learn to respect each other's feelings. The world would be a better place.

coolcatty:



My brother... This is niiggah has signed away his happiness..... He will surely get married to this woman and his life will never be the same again... Never.

I pity him to be honest.

Pidgin2:
OP, you are mean

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

Zilifish:


He's wedding is next week na how can he just opt out

coolcatty:
U need to stamp your feet down.... Personally I will advise you to halt the wedding plans for now... The woman in question is domineering... Insulting, I can bet she is ungrateful too and doesn't respect you... Trust me you will eventually be forced to beat her and the society will brand you a woman beater...
.

The signs are all there... There is no respect for you from your woman and her family.... People have been in this kind of situation and are regretting it.

Pls halt the wedding for now.

Gourdoinc:
when you marry her, manage her till she gives you the kids you want, then if her character hasn't improved, fall out of love with her and whatever she does again will never bother you no more. woman can only bother you as long as ur in love with her

Pidgin2:
OP, you are mean

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Zilifish:
Ah eleyi gidi gan o