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If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by piagetskinner(m): 11:18pm On Aug 03, 2017
VickyRotex:
Me too, I'm here to learn! Married folks, oya come and advise us. cool


PS: I'd say marrying someone who Loves and puts God first. Every other thing will sure fall in place.

I like ur point...but its not everyone that its God first I have a likeness for

I think the important thing is knowing Gods will...and that's kinda difficult..so how do i know the person is Gods will

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by holatin(m): 11:26pm On Aug 03, 2017
mykh01:
Sense fall on u
hmmm?
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ImaIma1(f): 11:32pm On Aug 03, 2017
FX:
It is not about compatibility. My wife loves me and I love my wife certainly no doubts about that. But if u add, multiply, subtract and divide everything, u will find out that marriage is burdensome. Check all the marriages of the world, no one is perfect. People are getting married because d society wants them to get married. 99% of married people are not happy but they cover up. The truth is that freedom is priceless. It is not about love, money and compatibility . You can still achieve everything without getting married. I'm married but when I see people doing wedding, I will just say in my mind that these couples don't know what they are getting themselves into.

You need to correct whatever is wrong or lacking in your marriage. Cos on my own part, when i see people getting married, I feel like getting married again and again to the same person... grin

6 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by VickyRotex(f): 11:36pm On Aug 03, 2017
piagetskinner:


I like ur point...but its not everyone that its God first I have a likeness for

I think the important thing is knowing Gods will...and that's kinda difficult..so how do i know the person is Gods will

Hmmmm! Knowing God's will! That's one big topic when it comes to marriage. I'm also willing to learn.

One mistake I know we believers make is that, we dont listen or try to hear God in the little things he says to us. But when it comes to marriage, that's when we want answer immediatetly. Like Gbam! And it doesnt work like that, we need to breed that consistent walk with God, so that when It's time to make tough decisions, the answers come. And we dont get confused on if It's God or not.

6 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ImaIma1(f): 11:41pm On Aug 03, 2017
Destined2win:
grin
Oga abeg oo. Me sef don dey dream wedding.

I am just thinking maybe you need to spice up your marriage. I might be wrong tho

Don't let anyone discourage you or put fear in you. People that are not having it good like to make others feel like it is bad. I can tell you from my own experience that i have never regretted it for one day. I married a long time friend and marriage has been easy and what i hoped it would be. I was never under the illusion that it would be perfect. Afterall, we are both from different backgrounds coming together to make a life together.
My husband makes life very easy for me and i make him want to come home. We fight hard too.
Your marriage is what you make it not what others say it is.

10 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by OLUJOSHINS(m): 11:52pm On Aug 03, 2017
VickyRotex:
Me too, I'm here to learn! Married folks, oya come and advise us. cool


PS: I'd say marrying someone who Loves and puts God first. Every other thing will sure fall in place.


I have a feeling that you studied in Unilorin & You graduated between 2014 & 2015
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by spiritedtete: 12:06am On Aug 04, 2017
-Do not share your marriage problem with anyone... Always find a way to resolve them in between yourselves.

-Do not lie to your wife... Or the woman you want to get married to

My dad advice to me several years ago. It has help me grow

7 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by bilal4riid(m): 12:14am On Aug 04, 2017
Best woman for my son a self reliant {with higher institution knowledge} woman.
Similarly my daughter must equal above quality b4 marrying. Frequent demand even for pity pity things from husband diminish love.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ikevictor: 12:18am On Aug 04, 2017
goodmorning40:
Respect the law of nature "do to others what u want them do to u". Be ready for tolerance because there is no one perfect
Be sensitive, respect her and expect discomforts especially when the kids start coming

Marriage is not anything near rossy

If it's such a workload, then why do people go for it. embarassed
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ikevictor: 12:19am On Aug 04, 2017
TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many cool, God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.

Good woman. One bottle for you smiley
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ikevictor: 12:23am On Aug 04, 2017
Marry your friend. I mean your friend.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by VickyRotex(f): 12:24am On Aug 04, 2017
OLUJOSHINS:



I have a feeling that you studied in Unilorin & You graduated between 2014 & 2015

lol. 0/2.
You dint even get any. sad
Neither the school, nor year.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by cheta02(m): 12:40am On Aug 04, 2017
The both partners should be in one faith and devotedly active in different / same groups in church. Fear God Above Everything. ( FGAE)
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ststyreal(f): 12:46am On Aug 04, 2017
FX:
Marriage is not easy at all. If you know what married couples are passing through just to keep the marriage, u will better stay on your own. If I'm to advise my child , I will tell him or her never to get married to anybody. You can have all you want without getting married. Freedom is priceless. Money can't buy it.
I am tempted to quote you because of the freedom you mentioned. Yes its true, you will somehow loose your freedom but then, i wish couples will learn to enjoy and free themselves in marriage rather than all these protocols most couples go through in marriage. Just pray to marry a liberal man, then your freedom might still be intact even in marriage.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by olujastro: 12:50am On Aug 04, 2017
uncleck:
Don't marry because you are up to the age of marriage.

Don't marry because you think you fell in love.

Don't marry because he/she was recommended for you by a trusted person

Don't marry because you have the cash

Don't marry with high expectations

Don't marry because you need to raise children

MARRY A PERSON YOU HAVE DEVELOPED GREAT FRIENDSHIP WITH. When everything else, including love, fails, friendship will endure.

modified
I can't type all that is in my mind, but let me quickly add that many marriages have problems because people expect too much from their spouses. Instead of magnifying your partner's error, try to discover the effort he/she put in.

Honesty and Sincerity are the most vital attributes you should look out for. know that you all are imperfect and put yourself in his or her situation.

If possible expect nothing. lol
.
If I'm going to get married today it's going to be for four of the reasons you stated above. I get drained when I think about all of it because eventually I'll have to get married and raise children.
I just tire for the matter
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ststyreal(f): 12:55am On Aug 04, 2017
FX:
It is not about compatibility. My wife loves me and I love my wife certainly no doubts about that. But if u add, multiply, subtract and divide everything, u will find out that marriage is burdensome. Check all the marriages of the world, no one is perfect. People are getting married because d society wants them to get married. 99% of married people are not happy but they cover up. The truth is that freedom is priceless. It is not about love, money and compatibility . You can still achieve everything without getting married. I'm married but when I see people doing wedding, I will just say in my mind that these couples don't know what they are getting themselves into.
Infact, we are on the same page.I have stop attending wedding sef. Only wedding anniversaries i do celebrate with friends.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ststyreal(f): 1:01am On Aug 04, 2017
ImaIma1:


You need to correct whatever is wrong or lacking in your marriage. Cos on my own part, when i see people getting married, I feel like getting married again and again to the same person... grin
My friend, huhhhh, marriage is the practical and not the theory, when you enter you go understand.
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by OkoAnike(m): 1:35am On Aug 04, 2017
Destined2win:
One of the reasons why I come here is because I desire to learn from people who are already in the 'business' of marriage. This is borne out of a dream to have an exceptional home; a marriage where I will smile all day because I am married; a marriage where the blessings of marriage surround me. I know I am not alone in this as there are a lot of young men like me who have such desires in their heart.

So if you are married and your opinion is being sought, it is because we don't wanna make mistakes. We want to know what works and what doesn't work.

Supposing you have a son or daughter who desires to get married or is about to get married and you want that child's marriage to succeed, what will be your greatest advise to that child of yours?

Please tell stories where applicable.

Thanks!




1. Op, marry your friend, some one you 've been friend with before love.

2. Marry some one that have an element of God in them.

11 years going and it's been compromise for each other and fun in our marriage.

Wish you all the best.

4 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by OLUJOSHINS(m): 2:40am On Aug 04, 2017
VickyRotex:

lol. 0/2. You dint even get any. sad Neither the school, nor year.

Ahhhhhh
okay. I know you are a God-fearing Yoruba lady.
I have a strong feeling that you have been to Ilorin.
I think You studied linguistics
I know you are based in Lagos
and I know you are naturally happy & jovial
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by VickyRotex(f): 3:01am On Aug 04, 2017
OLUJOSHINS:



Ahhhhhh

okay. I know you are a God-fearing Yoruba lady.

I have a strong feeling that you have been to Ilorin.

I think You studied linguistics

I know you are based in Lagos

and I know you are naturally happy & jovial

Hahahahaha
You tried this time. But I'm not based in Lagos and I did not study Linguistics.

The last one though. You know! How did you know?
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by yvelchstores(f): 3:08am On Aug 04, 2017
TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many cool, God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.
u hv a good mum. Op, the bitter truth is, before u marry her, study her mum cos she will consciously or subconsciously do what she saw her mum do. This is an unfortunate truth. 85% the case.
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by yvelchstores(f): 3:14am On Aug 04, 2017
Destined2win:
One of the reasons why I come here is because I desire to learn from people who are already in the 'business' of marriage. This is borne out of a dream to have an exceptional home; a marriage where I will smile all day because I am married; a marriage where the blessings of marriage surround me. I know I am not alone in this as there are a lot of young men like me who have such desires in their heart.

So if you are married and your opinion is being sought, it is because we don't wanna make mistakes. We want to know what works and what doesn't work.

Supposing you have a son or daughter who desires to get married or is about to get married and you want that child's marriage to succeed, what will be your greatest advise to that child of yours?

Please tell stories where applicable.

Thanks!

let me advise u, no woman is ready made, that's why they call her wife MATERIAL. Fashion her into the end product u will like to wear and show the world. Ur wife Shld be ur first daughter, keep training her where her father left off. So it's so important that u marry someone who is WILLING to learn and takes corrections. Very simple.

3 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by Afhounja(m): 3:25am On Aug 04, 2017
FX:
Marriage is not easy at all. If you know what married couples are passing through just to keep the marriage, u will better stay on your own. If I'm to advise my child , I will tell him or her never to get married to anybody. You can have all you want without getting married. Freedom is priceless. Money can't buy it.

I tell you, man. Marriage is slavery.

It's just unfortunate that the older men are failing to warn the younger ones because of their ego. They also don't want to be seen as defeated people. So they just suffer and slave away in silence.

One will always wonder why most husbands die way long before their wives do....

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by ihedioramma: 4:45am On Aug 04, 2017
Love one another for ever as CHRIST love his church and bring up your children in a good way for CHRIST.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by awoluyi(m): 5:45am On Aug 04, 2017
These are some of the things I will tell my daughter when she is about to marry. 1.0 Recognize that your spouse is an imperfect creature.
2.0 Accept him for what he is. Remove from your mind the belief that you will live happily with him by tolerating him. What happens when you reach your tolerance limit? Prefer ACCEPTANCE to TOLERANCE.
3.0 Accomodate his people (parents, relations, friends etc) as you will do to your's. Those you show kindness will in return show you, your husband and offsprings kindness.
4.0 To your husband be open in all things and if he too is well brought up and of sound character he will be open to you.
5.0 Realise that every marriage is unique, with a unique syllabus and course contents. You and your husband will have to study the course together, resolve to tackle questions therefrom and determine not to fail.
6.0 Above all, you owe God and makind offsprings that will bring glory to Him and peace to the world at large.
7.0 Finally, on the judgment day you and your husband will give an account of how you ran your marriage.

3 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by uniquebony(f): 6:06am On Aug 04, 2017
Never marry a man who doesn't love God.
Double check and verify whatever a man tells you. Inotherwords don't be too trusting
Run from men who don't share the same vision with you
A guy that can't take decisions on his own is a no no
Check how he treats his siblings especially his sister's
Most importantly Be observant of the kind of friends he rolls with
Show me ur friend and I will tell who you are
I made this mistakes and I just wish I can turn back the hands of time, to make matters worse he kept the secret of having a child away from me till years after marriage.

6 Likes

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by jimb(m): 6:16am On Aug 04, 2017
TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many cool, God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.

I see but you aint married yet and am not too so let just stick on the good side and a little on the bad side.
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by hegelian: 6:22am On Aug 04, 2017
Strive not to be perfect, no one can ever be perfect so understand and appreciate the imperfection of your partner...your marriage is to mange the imperfection of your partner not to blow it, look for perfection and have your marriage ruined and your life destroyed
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by jimb(m): 6:23am On Aug 04, 2017
holatin:
if na daughter

I go tell him

Fvck your husband to stupor every morning so his penis wount go erect during the day while he is with other women.

good one .. sometimes that shit works.

I heard about a woman who asked her driver to mastubate in the bathroom, and after sometime he came out and told her woman he done, the woman waited fr 5 mins and asked him to go and mastubate again, few minutes later he was done and came back to the woman amd she gave him her car keys to go drop her daughter at home. By this way the guy no go get errection in the next hour.

1 Like

Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by jimb(m): 6:29am On Aug 04, 2017
make sure your husband doesn't eat anyother womans food fr 6 months into the marriage.
husband make sure your wife doesn't stay away your home 4pm , fr 6 months in to the marriage,
by this way they get used to the trend and once its imbibed with love, when one start s misbehaving , catching him/her is just like ...
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by Nobody: 6:38am On Aug 04, 2017
I'm the one that needs advice here. On whether marriage itself is really worth it, or if its just a social construct that people have followed for so long but isn't really necessary. Considering how marriage now has legal implications in our world today.
Re: If You Were To Advise Your Son/daughter On Marriage, What W'd Be Your Greatest? by Nobody: 6:41am On Aug 04, 2017
olujastro:
.
If I'm going to get married today it's going to be for four of the reasons you stated above. I get drained when I think about all of it because eventually I'll have to get married and raise children.
I just tire for the matter
Why do you have to?

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