For me:

1. Marry someone who truly loves God and is passionate about Him.

2. Marry a flexible person.

3. Marry a man or wowan who is not given to Culture, Tradition and Customs of men.

4. Marry a man or woman who loves to read good materials and apply acquired knowledge.

5. Marry a man or woman who will put his or her family above friends and other distractions.

6. Marry a man or woman with a vision whether temporal or eternal.

7. Marry a man or woman who is teachable, hospitable, loves children and willing to make sacrifices.

8. Marry someone who has listening ears, patient with life, people and everything.

9. Marry someone who has character.

10. Marry a friend who is willing to strive at becoming better every day.

Marriage is an amazing experience if we deliberately choose to make it a bliss.

TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many , God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.

Wonderful mum you've got

TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many , God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.

Wooow.. This is wonderful

So, we still have ladies that are brought up with this kind of orientation?

TinaAnita:


One could marry his/her best friend or someone s/he's been friends with and the marriage will still crash within the twinkling of an eye. Marriage is something else

Good...

The young man ask for my advice and I gave him what work wonders for me, seriously not disputing ur view.

Enjoy your weekend.

VickyRotex:


Oh wow! I'm honoured.

Wondering how you knew this. As I'm not sure we've ever communicated on this forum before unless it's an alternate moniker.

We had a brief chat.

U explained Neymar 2015 to me.

swegiedon:
there will be obstacles,disagreement and load of problems that comes with every responsibility.it is during your early days of marriage you know if you married because of love or lust

Hmmmmm

Destined2win:
One of the reasons why I come here is because I desire to learn from people who are already in the 'business' of marriage. This is borne out of a dream to have an exceptional home; a marriage where I will smile all day because I am married; a marriage where the blessings of marriage surround me. I know I am not alone in this as there are a lot of young men like me who have such desires in their heart.

So if you are married and your opinion is being sought, it is because we don't wanna make mistakes. We want to know what works and what doesn't work.

Supposing you have a son or daughter who desires to get married or is about to get married and you want that child's marriage to succeed, what will be your greatest advise to that child of yours?

Please tell stories where applicable.

Thanks!

simple advice, DONT CHEAT ON YOUR HUSBAND. You can nag, complain, worry him but let him know, the last thing you will do is to cheat on him. Men respect such woman a lot

Jman06:
Yeah! Marriage will be alot easier if people marry those that complement them.
Nigerians shoul learn to mind their business and allow two adults to do what works for them

@first paragraph truth
@bolded, Hopefully this happens soon enough, they want to live their lives in a certain way as they see fit yet won't allow others the opportunity to do the same.

Yels. ......any issue with that

ashjay001:



U've been around since 2006, yet made only 17 posts? Chai!

uniquebony:
Yels. ......any issue with that

Nope, just amazed. Serious ghostmode tins niyen!?

You are right. I hardly comment. I just read for knowledge n fun a times too, nairaland is like a relief drug

ashjay001:



Nope, just amazed. Serious ghostmode tins niyen!?

OLUJOSHINS:




We had a brief chat.

U explained Neymar 2015 to me.

Oh lol. That was in 2015. Nice!

I honestly cant remember the discussion though.

But I remember "100% Jesus! (Neymar 2015)" used to be my signature in 2015.

uniquebony:
You are right. I hardly comment. I just read for knowledge n fun a times too, nairaland is like a relief drug

Exactly! Relief drug. Though, get raving ..., when I refresh all my favourite rooms, yet nothing new/exciting!?

U can always pick a fight too, na?!

Daeylar:


@first paragraph truth
@bolded, Hopefully this happens soon enough, they want to live their lives in a certain way as they see fit yet won't allow others the opportunity to do the same.

Yeah, people should be free to live their lives the way they deem fit.

AnonyNymous:
I'm the one that needs advice here. On whether marriage itself is really worth it, or if its just a social construct that people have followed for so long but isn't really necessary. Considering how marriage now has legal implications in our world today.

Why do you have to?

Most people these days are like sheep that are guided and led towards certain directions by social 'norms'. They blindly do things just because everyone else is doing it. They don't even stop for a second to think and ask if such things are right or healthy for them.

Most people are getting---or are willing to get---married because everyone else is doing it. They believe it's the "normal" thing to do. People who are refusing to get married (for good reasons), on the other hand, are seen as "abnormal".

Marriage is a way to make yourself a slave as a man. Read the replies that FX has posted on this thread so far.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late." --- Max Kauffmann

FX:
Let all men say the truth from the bottom bottomless pit of their heart, no man is truly satisfied with one woman. Sometimes in marriage, you will wish you can have this other beautiful woman for even a day. You want to taste what it feels like to be with this other woman for just even a day. But you can't because you are married. You are limited, with one life partner. It's like you are in prison. It's like having to eat the same soup for the rest of your life. It's boring. You cannot even joke with another beautiful woman. It's serious. You will get tired. My Wife is pretty and sexy but the attraction and gingah is no longer there because she is mine for life. Immediately you posses that thing you have been dreaming for all your life, it also immediately loses it value. Some men will like to have Nicki Minaj for a wife but I tell u, if you have Nick Minaj for 1yr, u will get tired and even cheat on her because she has lost that value and another man will be dying to be with her even if it is for a second That is life for you. Variety is d spice of life. Any form of limitation imposed on mankind is injustice and the society has imposed it on us. It is everybody's wish to be unlimited and if possible become God themselves. Marriage is a limitation and a form of living in bondage. I'm a married man but I will tell the truth. So be wise . I propose a world where everybody is free and free to fly like a bird. Both man and woman. Freedom is priceless.

Can we talk more? OK, what about if your partner is very sexually liberal? And doesn't mind polyamory, or swinging? And has the same sexual 'kinks' as you? Would you still consider marriage then?

Afhounja:




Most people these days are like sheep that are guided and led towards certain directions by social 'norms'. They blindly do things just because everyone else is doing it. They don't even stop for a second to think and ask if such things are right or healthy for them.

Most people are getting---or are willing to get---married because everyone else is doing it. They believe it's the "normal" thing to do. People who are refusing to get married (for good reasons), on the other hand, are seen as "abnormal".

Marriage is a way to make yourself a slave as a man. Read the replies that FX has posted on this thread so far.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late." --- Max Kauffmann

I agree with the sheep mentality thing. I've just been thinking/wondering if there's anything everyone else is seeing that I'm not. As an adult I'm definitely not living in this country, and in most developed places marriage is basically betting 50% of everything you've ever worked for in your life, that you won't get tired of your partner. Because once you get divorced you have to give away half of everything you own. To avoid that I'd have to get a pre-nuptial agreement. If I sign a prenup and I'm sitting down with my future 'wife' discussing the terms of agreement of what should happen in case we can't handle each other's shit anymore, then is marriage still about love?

AnonyNymous:
I've just been thinking/wondering if there's anything everyone else is seeing that I'm not.

I understand you and the fact is: there is a lot of things YOU are seeing that everyone else is not. Like I said previously, people get married blindly. Most people who are looking forward to get married (especially men) have been indoctrinated from birth to believe that they are SUPPOSED to do so. They have been told things like their life is meaningless if they don't end up with that 'special' person to spend the rest of their lives with. They have no other vision of their future other than to 'settle down'. This indoctrination (and brainwashing) is being done through various channels such as family and social pressures, TV, Music, movies, institutions (religious, academic, governmental), shaming tactics e.t.c.

The indoctrination is so strong, so relentless and so in-your-face that one is most likely led to believe that that is how their lives SHOULD be. Virtually everything we've been taught about life since birth is false.

You have to learn to stop looking at how people pretend to be living and start looking at how they are truly living. There's a lot of lies about how marriage is all about eternal bliss and blah blah blah. The reality is that marriage is a rollercoaster of endless drama, headaches, and inconveniences.

As an adult I'm definitely not living in this country, and in most developed places marriage is basically betting 50% of everything you've ever worked for in your life,

With such knowledge and awareness, would you really want to get married when you get there? It's just like walking into a casino to gamble knowing fully well that you will end up walking out with half of your wallet or bank account drained out.

that you won't get tired of your partner.

You just have to be brutally honest with yourself as a man. Man's natural make-up is not intended for him to be---or spend the rest of his life---with only one woman. At most, women should only be temporarily, casually and occasionally involved in a man's life.

Because once you get divorced you have to give away half of everything you own.

Even more than half in some cases due to either or more of certain factors such as: the judge, the jurisdiction, poor or weaker legal representation, e.t.c. You might even end up with nothing at the end of the day (after paying legal fees & the rest). Also, remember that alimony and child support [if you have a child(ren) in the course of the marriage] will be involved.

To avoid that I'd have to get a pre-nuptial agreement. If I sign a prenup and I'm sitting down with my future 'wife' discussing the terms of agreement of what should happen in case we can't handle each other's shit anymore,

There are certain western men I communicate with regularly and from what I've learnt from them, their judicial system is corrupt and biased against men. Prenups are thrown out of the window the instant a woman files for divorce. Any pre-nupital agreement you think you have with her is shunned once she decides that she is 'tired' of the marriage.

then is marriage still about love?

I'm convinced that you already know the answer to this question.

*Based on the questions you've asked and the observations you backed them up with, I perceive you as someone who thinks correctly. Trust me, your line of thinking is not abnormal and I can assure you that you are not alone on this.

In short, let me stop talking writing plenty and let me lead you straight to this place:

https://www.mgtow.com/forums/forum/marriage-divorce/

-If you have any further question(s), feel free to ask.

(sorry for the late reply. It's been a quite busy Saturday for me)

Afhounja:


I understand you and the fact is: there is a lot of things YOU are seeing that everyone else is not. Like I said previously, people get married blindly. Most people who are looking forward to get married (especially men) have been indoctrinated from birth to believe that they are SUPPOSED to do so. They have been told things like their life is meaningless if they don't end up with that 'special' person to spend the rest of their lives with. They have no other vision of their future other than to 'settle down'. This indoctrination (and brainwashing) is being done through various channels such as family and social pressures, TV, Music, movies, institutions (religious, academic, governmental), shaming tactics e.t.c.

The indoctrination is so strong, so relentless and so in-your-face that one is most likely led to believe that that is how their lives SHOULD be. Virtually everything we've been taught about life since birth is false.

You have to learn to stop looking at how people pretend to be living and start looking at how they are truly living. There's a lot of lies about how marriage is all about eternal bliss and blah blah blah. The reality is that marriage is a rollercoaster of endless drama, headaches, and inconveniences.




With such knowledge and awareness, would you really want to get married when you get there? It's just like walking into a casino to gamble knowing fully well that you will end up walking out with half of your wallet or bank account drained out.



You just have to be brutally honest with yourself as a man. Man's natural make-up is not intended for him to be with---or spend the rest of his life---with only one woman. At most, women should only be temporarily, casually and occasionally involved in a man's life.


Even more than half in some cases due to either or more of certain factors such as: the judge, the jurisdiction, poor or weaker legal representation, e.t.c. You might even end up with nothing at the end of the day (after paying legal fees & the rest). Also, remember that alimony and child support [if you have a child(ren) in the course of the marriage] will be involved.




There are certain western men I communicate with regularly and from what I've learnt from them, their judicial system is corrupt and biased against men. Prenups are thrown out of the window the instant a woman files for divorce. Any pre-nupital agreement you think you have with her is shunned once she decides that she is 'tired' of the marriage.



I'm convinced that you already know the answer to this question.

*Based on the questions you've asked and the observations you backed them up with, I perceive you as someone who thinks correctly. Trust me, your line of thinking is not abnormal and I can assure you that you are not alone on this.

In short, let me stop talking writing plenty and let me lead you straight to this place:

https://www.mgtow.com/forums/forum/marriage-divorce/

-If you have any further question(s), feel free to ask.

(sorry for the late reply. It's been a quite busy Saturday for me)

Wow! Thanks so much for getting back to me. And yes, I agree with a lot of your post. I just wanted to ask though, what are the legal implications of a civil union? You know, what homosexuals used to have before they were allowed to get married? I guess I should research this myself but as far as I know, heterosexual couples aren't allowed to have civil unions in the UK.

I myself am not really that interested in sex, I mean I'm a healthy human and some days I have sexual urges but a lot of the time I just see it as two naked sweaty bodies exchanging disgusting fluids, lol. But assuming I was, say, hypersexual, what if I met a partner that was into the 'same stuff' as me? What if I met a partner who was into swinging, hedonism, or polyamory? Then if the reason to avoid marriage was because of infidelity/sexual satisfaction, hasn't the problem been solved? Thanks to technology, a search on the most basic dating site will help you find someone like that very easily. What would you say about that?

seXytOhbAd:
Disclaimer: The commenter above me is clearly a cheap prostitute. Pay him no attention.

.

Daughter: Men are simple, baby-like creatures. Give them their respect and try to be as gentle with them because they have huge egos. If your husband cheats on you,don't act emotional. Just let him listen to your night prayers for that period, and pray against all the enemies of your home that God should punish them painfully...(or wake him up very early in the morning and tell him that you had a dream he died on his way to visit his side chick and went to hell). Remember, they are like babies. Also, try to squeeze as many promises out of him as you can. That will keep him on his toes.

Dts ur advice to ur daughter?.. to manipulate her husband?..
Wehdone Sir..

AnonyNymous:

Wow! Thanks so much for getting back to me. And yes, I agree with a lot of your post. I just wanted to ask though, what are the legal implications of a civil union? You know, what homosexuals used to have before they were allowed to get married? I guess I should research this myself but as far as I know, heterosexual couples aren't allowed to have civil unions in the UK.

I myself am not really that interested in sex, I mean I'm a healthy human and some days I have sexual urges but a lot of the time I just see it as two naked sweaty bodies exchanging disgusting fluids, lol. But assuming I was, say, hypersexual, what if I met a partner that was into the 'same stuff' as me? What if I met a partner who was into swinging, hedonism, or polyamory? Then if the reason to avoid marriage was because of infidelity/sexual satisfaction, hasn't the problem been solved? Thanks to technology, a search on the most basic dating site will help you find someone like that very easily. What would you say about that?

Well, it depends on the kind of society you are in. If the laws of that society recognizes civil union as illegal, then it is best to avoid it.

You should also take note that living with someone who is into 'the same stuff' as you for a period of time might lead to assumption of marriage by the laws. Again, this depends on the society and the kind of laws they have there. I know little to nothing about UK laws. But what I'm sure of is that if assumption of marriage takes place, you are going to be forced to perform the same marital duties as a married man.

In MY honest opinion, I think the best option is that when you find a person who is into 'the same stuff' as you, you should have nothing more than a casual relationship with them. That will save you from a lot of headaches in the long run.

Destined2win:
One of the reasons why I come here is because I desire to learn from people who are already in the 'business' of marriage. This is borne out of a dream to have an exceptional home; a marriage where I will smile all day because I am married; a marriage where the blessings of marriage surround me. I know I am not alone in this as there are a lot of young men like me who have such desires in their heart.

So if you are married and your opinion is being sought, it is because we don't wanna make mistakes. We want to know what works and what doesn't work.

Supposing you have a son or daughter who desires to get married or is about to get married and you want that child's marriage to succeed, what will be your greatest advise to that child of yours?

Please tell stories where applicable.

Thanks!

Preserve your virginity, it pays!

GodBlessMe4Life:



Preserve your virginity, it pays!

Nice one but this advice should be when they are still teenagers right?

uniquebony:
Never marry a man who doesn't love God.
Double check and verify whatever a man tells you. Inotherwords don't be too trusting
Run from men who don't share the same vision with you
A guy that can't take decisions on his own is a no no
Check how he treats his siblings especially his sister's
Most importantly Be observant of the kind of friends he rolls with
Show me ur friend and I will tell who you are
I made this mistakes and I just wish I can turn back the hands of time, to make matters worse he kept the secret of having a child away from me till years after marriage.

Hmmm....men.

reachbenny:
For me:

1. Marry someone who truly loves God and is passionate about Him.

2. Marry a flexible person.

3. Marry a man or wowan who is not given to Culture, Tradition and Customs of men.

4. Marry a man or woman who loves to read good materials and apply acquired knowledge.

5. Marry a man or woman who will put his or her family above friends and other distractions.

6. Marry a man or woman with a vision whether temporal or eternal.

7. Marry a man or woman who is teachable, hospitable, loves children and willing to make sacrifices.

8. Marry someone who has listening ears, patient with life, people and everything.

9. Marry someone who has character.

10. Marry a friend who is willing to strive at becoming better every day.

Marriage is an amazing experience if we deliberately choose to make it a bliss.

perfect!

FX:
When you marry I go c how much spice u go add to your marriage. It's not about spices my brother. When u enter, you go know far. It is not a bed of roses with all d spices, love, money and compatibility. I have said my own, I will advise my son not to get married. That marriage institution is over hyped. Your parents will never tell you the whole truth about marriage cos they want you to fall into the same trap they fell in. i'm married but I will advise my friends to stay clear from marriage. Don't short change your life by living in bondage

Stop this nonsense.
God instituted marriage so is not a bondage.
Some are enjoying their marriage, is a wonderful institution if u work on it. It is what u invest in ur marriage that u will reap.
Go and work on ur marriage.

-Don't get married into a family house
-Marry someone who can defend you all the time
-If you are lady be financially independent
-Marry a man whose love is greater than yours
-Never marry for riches, and never accept to marry a poor man who lives under his father roof
-Never marry beauty or handsomest.

bbeautylik:
-Don't get married into a family house
-Marry someone who can defend you all the time
-If you are lady be financially independent
-Marry a man whose love is greater than yours
-Never marry for riches, and never accept to marry a poor man who lives under his father roof
-Never marry beauty or handsomest.

Wow. This is wonderful

iamloyalty:


Stop this nonsense.
God instituted marriage so is not a bondage.
Some are enjoying their marriage, is a wonderful institution if u work on it. It is what u invest in ur marriage that u will reap.
Go and work on ur marriage.

Abeg help me tell am. Whether devil likes it or not, I must enjoy my marriage

Destined2win:
Wow. This is wonderful

Thanks

Afhounja:


I tell you, man. Marriage is slavery.

It's just unfortunate that the older men are failing to warn the younger ones because of their ego. They also don't want to be seen as defeated people. So they just suffer and slave away in silence.

One will always wonder why most husbands die way long before their wives do....

Marriage is slavery for whom?

What is your definition of slavery?

TINALETC3:
Exactly Wat my mum told me
Neva jump to a man bc of money, attitude first.
Kama is unavoidable, treat ur brothers wives d same way u wnt 2 b treated in ur husband home. Neva speak wen ur husband is angry and shouting at u,4 dat wl make hm raise his hand on u, neva argue with hm. Instead, talk 2 hm wen his anger cools
I stop here abeg, it's many , God bless my mum 4 me, she did well
Anytime I hv problem wt my brothers, she keeps reminding me dat am a woman, if I keep reacting violently 2 dem, I wl bhave d same way in my husband's home.

Tell them o