Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

Dude... I will talk to u like a brother.... Marriage is a big deal... It's for a lifetime... The fact that u feel like this is a clear cut sign that this marriage was never meant to be..... My people say it's better to have a good in-law than have a good wife..... The fact that your in-laws are this domineering ND insulting is a big red, yellow and purple flag which will definitely affect your marriage in the nearest future....... Who will you report her to in the event that she misbehaves??


Oga you have gone far by doing the court marriage sef.... You have a 2 options.... Marry her and live a permanent life of servitude to her and her domineering people or walk away from this impending disaster called marriage.

The choice is yours.

At your age you want faceless people to advice you on a life long journey that only you are involved in. Was she forced on you in the first place? You didn't date her? That's how one lady is thinking of divorce after just one month of marriage. What the hell is wrong with people? Marriage isn't for everyone.

Sorry beloved!

YOU ARE MARRIED ALREADY!!


Wedding is just a religious ceremony or better still, dedication of marriage to God to get His blessing!!!

Kpansh her well she will calm down when she orgasm like this. The Bruce Lee family will calm down when they notice she is and will always be on your side.




I just want to make common sense

didn't you court her?

Didn't you spend time with her family to know how she relates with them

didn't you befriend her brothers and her friends

didn't your friends and family spend time with her..

Did you ask your loved ones opinion before marrying her?
.have you asked her what the problem is, why she has temper issues. ..


My friend leave Nairaland face your home, solve your problems yourself and stop disturbing us

Weren't your in-laws and wife domineering and insultive before the traditional marriage?? Sorry dude.. You are married already.you should just go get a divorce cos I don't see her changing when she has the backing of her parents

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

You are married already.. at least according to the law and custom .. So you are in it already.

You have done trad and court na


Man up jare, you are married already.


Either you divorce her or carry your cross.

A lot of you just think marriage is bread and beans. You want to jet out.. Just NEGODU this one! My friend you're a MARRIED MAN! GO AND SETTLE YOUR HOME

Since you've done traditional and court wedding, you're already married na.

Even though you're more or less already married it's better you call off the last ceremony until the issues are resolved or not!

Dont wait till children are included in the mix and it's more complicated.

You'd survive the backlash and gossip that will follow never mind

It's very simple Op, u will train her where her father left off, to the woman you want. This will entail putting your foot down and letting her knw u are the head and in charge. This will create some friction but the sooner u cut her excesses the better for u. U can start lovey dovey wen she finally start becoming a good student in your academy.

There is no woman that can't be tamed! When you see a woman spinning out of control, the husband isn't taking his place. We women need to be taught. For some, not strictly for others, with an iron fist. No body Shld quote me cos I don't say beat her. Thank u.

It amazes me when people say I have done trad should I go ahead with the white wedding.

You are married already, in the eyes of God and the law. You even had a court wedding too.

Your question should be how to manage your wifey and in-laws.

That ceremony you want to do on Saturday , whether you cancel it or not doesn't change anything fact is you are married.

You either raise your game or live the rest of your life this way.
Treat yourself with self respect.it begins with you.

Dear OP,

Whether you cancel the white wedding or not _ you're already married. Marriage isn't relationship where you can waltz in and out as you like. It's an oath, binding on both parties.

Be careful how you bring your issues to the public, considering that your mind is currently fragile. The general rule, may not apply to your situation. I don't think any responsible married person would tell you to walk away so soon. I have domineering in-laws too, your wife's whole family can never be as rude as my FIL alone _ but you handle such people with wisdom (now that you're already married). If you weren't married, I would have said run.

The early days of most marriages are like this. One person will always see the other as a demon, while painting him/herself as the angel. You are not an angel, I am sure your wife would sound just as bitter as you, if she creates her own thread. What you have to do is win your wife to your side. Once you genuinely win your wife to your side, she would handle her family.

The last post on your wife and SIL, you didn't do well.
If that's your own attitude, then you and your wife need orientation. Why does your wife shout? Is she a mad woman? Has she always been like this? What is she always shouting about?

My husband also doesn't know how to discuss in low tones, he must raise his voice. I used to join him, until I sat and thought about it _two people no dey mad at the same time. He did it again and I ignored, I politely told him he is embarrassing US and we would talk when he is calm. He still repeated it and I used all my self-control to keep ignoring.

One day, he called me and asked why I have been refusing to get angry. I started laughing and we had a talk that changed a lot till this moment. People like that know what they are doing to a good extent, the best medicine for them is to show them how normal people express themselves. Don't come down to their level, don't go begging unnecessarily _ just express yourself firmly.
When you do this over and over, they'll come to revere your silence and few words.

You mould your spouse to be who you want them to be. There is really no perfect spouse at first, but we mould them to our perfection with time.

Captain your ship as best as you can _all with the dignity of a king.

PaperLace:
Dear OP,

Whether you cancel the white wedding or not _ you're already married. Marriage isn't relationship where you can waltz in and out as you like. It's an oath, binding on both parties.

Be careful how you bring your issues to the public, considering that your mind is currently fragile. The general rule, may not apply to your situation. I don't think any responsible married person would tell you to walk away so soon. I have domineering in-laws too, your wife's whole family can never be as rude as my FIL alone _ but you handle such people with wisdom (now that you're already married). If you weren't married, I would have said run.

The early days of most marriages are like this. One person will always see the other as a demon, while painting him/herself as the angel. You are not an angel, I am sure your wife would sound just as bitter as you, if she creates her own thread. What you have to do is win your wife to your side. Once you genuinely win your wife to your side, she would handle her family.

The last post on your wife and SIL, you didn't do well.
If that's your own attitude, then you and your wife need orientation. Why does your wife shout? Is she a mad woman? Has she always been like this? What is she always shouting about?

My husband also doesn't know how to discuss in low tones, he must raise his voice. I used to join him, until I sat and thought about it _two people no dey mad at the same time. He did it again and I ignored, I politely told him he is embarrassing US and we would talk when he is calm. He still repeated it and I used all my self-control to keep ignoring.

One day, he called me and asked why I have been refusing to get angry. I started laughing and we had a talk that changed a lot till this moment. People like that know what they are doing to a good extent, the best medicine for them is to show them how normal people express themselves. Don't come down to their level, don't go begging unnecessarily _ just express yourself firmly.
When you do this over and over, they'll come to revere your silence and few words.

You mould your spouse to be who you want them to be. There is really no perfect spouse at first, but we mould them to our perfection with time.

Captain your ship as best as you can _all with the dignity of a king.

Gbam

PaperLace:
Dear OP,

Whether you cancel the white wedding or not _ you're already married. Marriage isn't relationship where you can waltz in and out as you like. It's an oath, binding on both parties.

Be careful how you bring your issues to the public, considering that your mind is currently fragile. The general rule, may not apply to your situation. I don't think any responsible married person would tell you to walk away so soon. I have domineering in-laws too, your wife's whole family can never be as rude as my FIL alone _ but you handle such people with wisdom (now that you're already married). If you weren't married, I would have said run.

The early days of most marriages are like this. One person will always see the other as a demon, while painting him/herself as the angel. You are not an angel, I am sure your wife would sound just as bitter as you, if she creates her own thread. What you have to do is win your wife to your side. Once you genuinely win your wife to your side, she would handle her family.

The last post on your wife and SIL, you didn't do well.
If that's your own attitude, then you and your wife need orientation. Why does your wife shout? Is she a mad woman? Has she always been like this? What is she always shouting about?

My husband also doesn't know how to discuss in low tones, he must raise his voice. I used to join him, until I sat and thought about it _two people no dey mad at the same time. He did it again and I ignored, I politely told him he is embarrassing US and we would talk when he is calm. He still repeated it and I used all my self-control to keep ignoring.

One day, he called me and asked why I have been refusing to get angry. I started laughing and we had a talk that changed a lot till this moment. People like that know what they are doing to a good extent, the best medicine for them is to show them how normal people express themselves. Don't come down to their level, don't go begging unnecessarily _ just express yourself firmly.
When you do this over and over, they'll come to revere your silence and few words.

You mould your spouse to be who you want them to be. There is really no perfect spouse at first, but we mould them to our perfection with time.

Captain your ship as best as you can _all with the dignity of a king.

I love u already.... Have sent u a pm... Need to discuss something with u

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

You are already married. Halting your white wedding means nothing. Take charge like a man! She shout at you, you give her one resounding slap unless she's d breadwinner... Look before una leap

Bros..You're married already

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

You are already married guy. You have done court and trad. That means you are legally married and you have paud the bride price and fulfilled the traditional rites.

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

You have done trad and court , then you're already married. White wedding is the bazaar part of the ceremony.
What you should be asking us is if you should divorce her.
IMO, if you can't live with their attitude and have made all possible means to make them change, then call it quits.

You have been lamenting since yet you went ahead to get LEGALLY married.


You will lament people will advice you will return and continue drama.


You keep comparing her mentally with your ex, your parents who approved of this one because of tribe should you how to manage this one. Leave Nairaland alone with your constant lamentations.



You are legally married for your information, church wedding is merely blessing.



https://www.nairaland.com/3710027/should-break-off-engagement-go

seriously I am so angry with op. in your other thread, you dumped your ex not cos she cheated, lied or has a bad behaviour but only because she was from another tribe,you allowed your parents to separate you both. you have gotten what you deserve so enjoy your tribes woman. Tribalist. as for your ex, I pray that by now, she is very happy wherever she is. �

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

Dude, you are married to her already now.

Eketem:
You have been lamenting since yet you went ahead to get LEGALLY married.
You will lament people will advice you will return and continue drama. You keep comparing her mentally with your ex, your parents who approved of this one because of tribe should you how to manage this one. Leave Nairaland alone with your constant lamentations.

You are legally married for your information, church wedding is merely blessing.
https://www.nairaland.com/3710027/should-break-off-engagement-go

Op's case is a whole lot more complicated than I know.

He said she has been terrible since they did their trad, made be think it's a recent development and normal marital challenges. Anyway, he is already in.

Chubhie:
You either raise your game or live the rest of your life this way.

Treat yourself with self respect.it begins with you.

PaperLace:
Dear OP,

Whether you cancel the white wedding or not _ you're already married. Marriage isn't relationship where you can waltz in and out as you like. It's an oath, binding on both parties.

Be careful how you bring your issues to the public, considering that your mind is currently fragile. The general rule, may not apply to your situation. I don't think any responsible married person would tell you to walk away so soon. I have domineering in-laws too, your wife's whole family can never be as rude as my FIL alone _ but you handle such people with wisdom (now that you're already married). If you weren't married, I would have said run.

The early days of most marriages are like this. One person will always see the other as a demon, while painting him/herself as the angel. You are not an angel, I am sure your wife would sound just as bitter as you, if she creates her own thread. What you have to do is win your wife to your side. Once you genuinely win your wife to your side, she would handle her family.

The last post on your wife and SIL, you didn't do well.
If that's your own attitude, then you and your wife need orientation. Why does your wife shout? Is she a mad woman? Has she always been like this? What is she always shouting about?

My husband also doesn't know how to discuss in low tones, he must raise his voice. I used to join him, until I sat and thought about it _two people no dey mad at the same time. He did it again and I ignored, I politely told him he is embarrassing US and we would talk when he is calm. He still repeated it and I used all my self-control to keep ignoring.

One day, he called me and asked why I have been refusing to get angry. I started laughing and we had a talk that changed a lot till this moment. People like that know what they are doing to a good extent, the best medicine for them is to show them how normal people express themselves. Don't come down to their level, don't go begging unnecessarily _ just express yourself firmly.
When you do this over and over, they'll come to revere your silence and few words.

You mould your spouse to be who you want them to be. There is really no perfect spouse at first, but we mould them to our perfection with time.

Captain your ship as best as you can _all with the dignity of a king.

OP sounding like those gullible "technical virgins" who would've gone from anal to dry humping and "putting-in-just-the-tip" while still wondering if they're virgins or not.

After, court and trad, what else is there beyond the church ceremony and blessings which are most times done for the benefit of the congregation than the couple?

He should wake up fast and start learning to be creatively mature in managing his spouse, home and life otherwise the death knells of that home are already sounding out and loud.

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

It's too late to cry when d head is off, u guys are married already after d trad. White wedding is jst blessing of marriage n ceremony. Go n carry ur cross. Usually u dnt kw a woman until u live with her under marriage for 5 yrs

Dissolve the marriage because you are too immature. Imagine a man denying my sister hot water for bathing. I also suspect you don't have a steady career. You will be doing your wife a favor if you run away and abandon this relationship.

yvelchstores:
There is no woman that can't be tamed! When you see a woman spinning out of control, the husband isn't taking his place. We women need to be taught. For some, not strictly for others, with an iron fist. No body Shld quote me cos I don't say beat her. Thank u.

Ah!!! In this 2017?