Hey nairalanders,this is my first story, I've gat this story on my mind for sometimes so thought I should share it with you guys

Please read and criticize so that I can improve

Chumzypinky,samyfreshsmooth,Hadampson,queenite,adesina12,angelsss,pamelb,audreytimms and others

My name is Anna Olusanya. My father Lanre Olusanya died in an auto accident when I was fifteen years old,my father's death was a huge blow to our family especially my mother who later died a year after my father's death due to the sickness that started after the loss leaving I am and my younger brother Fred enough was just seven years to cater for ourselves.
During my mother burial,a lot of family members promised to take care of I and my brother but immediately after the burial all of them disappeared into thin air.
I was young and naive then having just finished my secondary school education at Education legacy so I don't really know what's going on until the hunger started.
Anna I'm hungry, Fred said. I had always loved my brother so dearly so my mother hen instinct kicked in immediately leaving me with no choice to go to our once nice aunty who was staying with us before the incidents and till now. Aunty,Fred is hungry,i said. Before I could utter another word I felt a hot sting on my left cheek due to the result of the heavy slap my aunty just dished out to me. Get out of my sight you useless girl, you will have to cater for yourself and your brother now. Don't you dare ask me anything and your brother and you inclusive are no longer going to school unless you you are ready to pay both your tuition,barked Aunty Bisola. I ran out of the room and burst into tears finally realizing the gravity of my parents death.
On getting back to the sitting room I met my brother crying cos of hunger.,I immediately wipe my tears away and went straight into the room I shared with my brother to get my Tekno droid pad. I took the phone to my father's tenant the next door.
Good afternoon MA, I greeted. May God bless you my dau.....she trailed off. What happened to your cheek my darling, she probed. Being a very light skinned girl I forgot that the slap will surely leave a welt. I burst into tears again and told her what happened earlier. She was so angry that her eyes turned into fireball in colour. I added the fact that I wanted her to buy my pad so that I can buy something to eat for my brother. She went inside for a few minutes and later emerging with a foodwarmer. Take this for yourself and your brother.
Later that day my father's lawyer payed us a condolence visit and announced that he will come and complete the legal formalities in the next day three days. After the lawyer's visit, auntie bisola strode into the sitting room to give me a warning not to try anything funny when the lawyer comes back. I made up my mind there and then to get her chased out of the house when the lawyer comes.

Tbc. Please criticize me so I can improve. Please comment

When I see the comment of at least four people, I'll continue the story

Seems like I'm wasting my time with this story. Would have love to continue this story but I need to know if you guys are going to read this story so please comment if you want me to continue. This is my first story ever so I need every support you can give. criticism, appreciation.anything

Maybe I should just continue this story without any comments... I'm going to update tomorrow

Continue we are following......

Dedicated to Prolificdeman for being the first to comment on my story.....
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At exactly 9:00pm when I was already sleeping after eating the food our neighbor provided for me and my brother, Auntie Bisola came in to my room drunk and she woke me up..... "Hey stand up, go to the kitchen and prepare rice with plantains and stew for me", Bisola ordered.. "But Auntie it's already late,how can you ask me to cook by this time of the day",I said... Before I could say jack, I felt the sting of a wire on my skin, Auntie Bisola flogged me so hard that night and due to the fact that I was wearing a thin layered nightie the sting went deep into my body leaving in it's wake a red welt.. After flogging me Bisola started the mouth flogging.... "Do you think I love you, I hate you so much, your mother stole away my brother from me... My brother loved me so much before your mother came into the picture but then I understand he has to get married eventually but then you came into the picture and stole my brother's affection away from me.... I had always hate you but I had to hide and cover up with being nice to you while I was dying to strangle your neck.... Now my brother is dead and I'm going to make you and your slowpoke of a brother pay... You guys are now my slaves and I'll treat you like one so now go into that kitchen and prepare food for me you bastard, Auntie Bisola spat out every word with hatred... Immediately she said that she kicked me very hard and my younger brother screamed... My Auntie turned to my brother and slapped him on the face, seeing that triggered the beast in me and I lunged forward to grab my Auntie hand, begging her to beat me but spare my brother...

I slowly opened my eyes to see it's morning and everything that happened the night before start flooding in and my body keeps on throbbing... I turned to my side so that I can check my brother only for me to find him staring at me.... I wasn't able to sleep because you are in pains so I stay up all night to check on you... My brother said... I was so happy and emotional hearing him that and I enveloped him in a hug.....

T. B. C

nice beginning

m with u dear

harameede99:
m with u dear

Thank you so much... I really appreciate your support

Nickibeauty:
nice beginning

Thanks

up to something
please give mhi a mention on ur next update
twinkiet2

collinometricx:
up to something
please give mhi a mention on ur next update
twinkiet2

don't worry, I'll surely do that

Twinkiet2:
don't worry, I'll surely do that

modified


tnx

This update is dedicated to Collinometricx....
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k
Anna,Fred get up from your bed and come out here or do you want me to sweep and clean the house for you,Shouted Bisola. Fred and I was startled by my Auntie noise but we got up from the bed all the same because we already know what disobeying her would lead to..... I hurried down to the living room and started cleaning the chairs and my Brother was dusting off the TV......

After all the strenuous activity we did, we were told to cook breakfast for my Auntie alone and that there is no food for my brother and I.... I was so hungry but my brother was hungrier than I thought,i had no choice but to steal some cookies and milk for my brother.... it's so funny having to steal your own food in your own house... I made sure my brother ate to his satisfaction before eating the left over.... I quickly went to the kitchen to prepare Bisola's food and I served her after I was done cooking... I was about to leave her room after serving her food but I was called back by her and she told me to go on all fours, I was confused as to why she asked me to do that but I kept quiet.... She placed the food on my back after I had gotten on all fours and she started eating, the food was very hot and it's scorching my back and I started whimpering.... If my food should fall down and pour away I'll whip your brother till he faints,Bisola said... Hearing her say that put me in order, I knew I have to bear the pain quietly and I should stop whimpering if I don't want my brother to get hurt.... After eating she asked me to stand up and take the dirty plates to the kitchen and wash them immediately.... After washing the plates, she made me wash all her dirty clothes and Underwears....

I thought I was done for the day but I was proven wrong when I heard a knock on the door, I went to the door and I met my aunties friends waiting, There was Four of them.... Fisayo who is the most menacing of the group, Nathan who is also my Aunties boyfriend, Temitayo the meekest of them all and My aunty at the door.... Bisola quickly smack me across the face immediately she entered with her friends and they all laugh except Temitayo who has the look of pity in her eyes....Cook noodles with fried eggs for us little girl,that word actually get to me because I see myself as an adult but I have no control....
I quickly went to the kitchen and set to the task ahead of me

twinkiet2 thanks for the mention...
#COYG
but this episode too short ni...

Cc Skarlett Jaguguli88 Dominique Veekid Crazygod Aitee1 Anugod Johnwizey Mhiz Thesociopath Sotozo Yorhmienerd Olabantu Justicextian Talius Food is ready

collinometricx:
twinkiet2 thanks for the mention...
#COYG
but this episode too short ni...

Sorry about that, I have modified it

Divepen1 I need your opinion here... PamelB, Cbella, Pearl05,Souloho19

Twinkiet2:
Divepen1 I need your opinion here... PamelB, Cbella, Pearl05,Soulhoho

Quote your conversations. Make sure they are either in the double or single inverted commas A.K.A Quotation mark.


You can check this out.
http://writertain.com/2017/08/31/gordon-kellers-4-common-errors-of-conversation/



But your plot is looking good.

Update is loading.... Another update tonight

sharp sharp abeg

Twinkiet2:
Sorry about that, I have modified it

k

Twinkiet2:
Update is loading.... Another update tonight

still waiting

I burst into tears when I get to the kitchen, I'm a slave in my father's house and I'm serving my own Aunty, I hurriedly wiped my tears away and thought in my mind that my auntie loves me but she's just blinded by rage and will soon realise that she still loves me.... "Neeny(my brother's pet name for me ) are you crying" Fred asked, "No I'm not Fred "I replied. "When will Mummy and Daddy come back home, they need to come back home so that they Can send Aunty ...Bibi away from here for beating us" asked my Fred... Hearing my brother ask of our parents brought tears to my eyes but I quickly blinked them away."Look Frederick, Our parents are not coming back, it's only you and I, did you get that "I said... My brother only nod his head and went out of the kitchen and I start preparing the noodles with fried eggs ....After cooking the food and dishing out,i placed the food on the dinning table and I quickly went to the sitting room to call them...They all marched to the dinning room to eat the food I prepared, Nathan slowed down and make sure that the rest of the crew as left the living room before quickly thrusting a folded paper and some money into my hands, he spanked my ass before turning on his heels, I yelped in pains and I want to shout out before he turned back and shot me a warning glare that shut me up.... I went to the kitchen to take the noodles I put aside for my brother and quickly ran into my room.... "Fred eat this noodles"i said, my brother quickly dug into the food and start eating, I suddenly remember the paper Nathan gave to and I brought it out

following

Twinkiet2 u nor wan continue abi?

collinometricx:
Twinkiet2 u nor wan continue abi?

... It's not like that... I'm down with malaria but I'll surely update tomorrow

Wow! Sorry dear, just saw your mention.


For how well you are doing, pretty much amazing.
So far a brilliant write up!

As Divepen1 already said, check that.... I suck at what he mentioned myself, so I just took an inspiration from that.

Lets continue, when you are well enough. Get better soon