hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....

These ur epristle his too mush too me too read


Power off dick live the boy alone op

Op... I can relate with your narrative.
My girlfriend behaved that way for some time too.

It is difficult to tell you not to be worried. But now, you really need to be practical.

She is getting exposed to a whole new world, meeting people and discovering her own self too (beyond the walls of your love and security)

If you love her... You will need to be patient and give her some breathing space.

One thing you have to find out tho is.. If her decision to travel out is entirety hers, or if there is an influence of a 3rd party (you know what i mean).

If there is a 3rd party, then it is best you start rebuilding your own life and finding love again.

But it it was solely her decision, then you can hang on.

But this is what you must do.

1. Don't bug her with excessive long calls. Call her, but don't stay on the phone longer than there is anything meaningful to talk about. If you notice she is becoming uninterested, quickly sumarize the call in a gentle and firm manner, and letting her know you guys will talk again soon.

2. Keep your family out of it. The more your siblings and mum continue to call her, the more in demand she sees herself. And now that you guys aren't flowing well, it could be really irritating to her. To avoid the feeling that she is disrespecting you and your folks, keep them out.

3. Affirm your love to her. In the midst of all the uncertainties, see her for who you know her to be. Before you drop your calls with her, remind her that you love her still, and the distance is not a barrier.

4. Learn to be happy all by yourself. I know you guys have come a long way, but you need to learn the art of emotional independence. Emotions and love are two different things. She might still love you dearly, but he is learning to be emotionally independent. You too, dear op, need to tow that path.
If you detach your emotions and maintain communication, you give each other a 50:50 lifeline. If you do come back close again, you will know that you both choose each other. Else, to your tenth o Israel

Ask her what she intends to do after her program.
I wonder how you didn't plan and discuss this with her before she left. Is she coming back immediately? Will she stay back for a while?
You need to find out.
Then let her know how you are making progress with your own endeavors and what plans you have going forward when she returns..

Intact, Op I can go on but just manage this one.

too long, but i will read all of it soon



Long distance relationship most times doesn't augur well. I suggest you leave her purposely for a while and see if she will come back to her senses or if she will miss you.

if that doesn't seem to happen, then its time to move on peacefully

This abroad of a thing tho

long distance relationship where both party are in Nigeria is hard

when the parties are in two different continent it's harder and if they aren't willing to work hard to sustain that relationship by lots and lots of communication. if they can't it's time to accept the truth and move on

I know it's hard to move on but you need to get this into your head the relationship is already over

Sh!t.... Can't read all this stuff bro...

I'm. short of words, bamisepeters command try this one..

Guess what you are doing is creating issues were there is none, thankgod you said you are a child of God. Let this be your prayer point Lord let your will be done

Ey

dna4ril:
hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....

Hmmmm... Don't break up with her yet... Relationship has ups and down... I'll advice you to just give her space....with time she will come back to normal... Almost all relationship pass through this stage...and don't forget to continue praying

Thanks

Thanks

LadyJul:
EyHmmmm... Don't break up with her yet... Relationship has ups and down... I'll advice you to just give her space....with time she will come back to normal... Almost all relationship pass through this stage...and don't forget to continue praying

Take your mind off from the relationship & work on yourself more. Still communicate with her but bear in mind that she might not come around. Prepare for the worst. Your might have lost her but don't give up yet.

Your gist lacks some info to give out a proper advice but be it as it may i think the girl untangled herself from you. The nagging, irrational behavior, ignoring your mum & sisters call...... mehn to her its fvcking over.
Like my ex was told me "guy you crying over a spilt milk".
My advice to you is to not take it heart, reduce or stop calling her (maybe she thinks you're encroaching in her private life), discover for your self what gonna give you more and heal your bleeding heart. Thats all i've gat bro.

What an epistle!
Lemme read first

6 good solid years and you no chop kpekus
Nigga are u sh*tin me? :oo

See eeh mek I just tell you the truth, you are the cause of your own problem, I swear .

How can you date a girl for six donkey years without digging da hole . Are u a 'cuntless unsolid'?

If you had dugged da fuckin hole one or two times, she'll think twice before friend zoning ya sorry a$$. Now another nigga from a foreign land with a potent cunt has taken over the management of that company with all the benefits(even eaten a hot served kpekus :PP) attached to it.

Nigga quit crying and whinning like baby and look for another babe, but this time, don't be stupid and blinded enough not to chop that kpekus .

Ndo Nnamm

dna4ril:
hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....

Mr loverboy i understand your plight very well.I feel she might be lonely in a new environment and stressed out with school work et all.Why dont you try apply for a visa and pay her a suprise visit.
If she truly loves she will not mind which level you both start from.Have you proposed marriage to her before she left Nigeria?

She Is Testing You!

ignoring calls from your mum and sister shows she is evolving and the more you keep holding onto her u keep hurting yourself and resenting her.
love doesn't ask why? doesn't ask where the relationship is going. if someone is with you it will be obvious.
it's best you calm down for now if u ever have a chance saving your rship.
her interest should show in the efforts. please if you are the only one fighting for your relationship just minimize calls.
what I deduce is that you are more emotionaly invested that her.
it's time you start considering looking for someone here in Nigeria while holding unto ur girlfriend LOOSELY

charleff512:
She Is Testing You!

ignore

coolcharm:
Op... I can relate with your narrative.
My girlfriend behaved that way for some time too.

It is difficult to tell you not to be worried. But now, you really need to be practical.

She is getting exposed to a whole new world, meeting people and discovering her own self too (beyond the walls of your love and security)

If you love her... You will need to be patient and give her some breathing space.

One thing you have to find out tho is.. If her decision to travel out is entirety hers, or if there is an influence of a 3rd party (you know what i mean).

If there is a 3rd party, then it is best you start rebuilding your own life and finding love again.

But it it was solely her decision, then you can hang on.

But this is what you must do.

1. Don't bug her with excessive long calls. Call her, but don't stay on the phone longer than there is anything meaningful to talk about. If you notice she is becoming uninterested, quickly sumarize the call in a gentle and firm manner, and letting her know you guys will talk again soon.

2. Keep your family out of it. The more your siblings and mum continue to call her, the more in demand she sees herself. And now that you guys aren't flowing well, it could be really irritating to her. To avoid the feeling that she is disrespecting you and your folks, keep them out.

3. Affirm your love to her. In the midst of all the uncertainties, see her for who you know her to be. Before you drop your calls with her, remind her that you love her still, and the distance is not a barrier.

4. Learn to be happy all by yourself. I know you guys have come a long way, but you need to learn the art of emotional independence. Emotions and love are two different things. She might still love you dearly, but he is learning to be emotionally independent. You too, dear op, need to tow that path.
If you detach your emotions and maintain communication, you give each other a 50:50 lifeline. If you do come back close again, you will know that you both choose each other. Else, to your tenth o Israel

Ask her what she intends to do after her program.
I wonder how you didn't plan and discuss this with her before she left. Is she coming back immediately? Will she stay back for a while?
You need to find out.
Then let her know how you are making progress with your own endeavors and what plans you have going forward when she returns..

Intact, Op I can go on but just manage this one.

Wow I like this.

lalanice:
I'm. short of words, bamisepeters command try this one..

lol.

Op, dna4ril, one thing I have learnt since i have been in writing and counseling on life and relationship matters is that the way we take things in Africa is far far different from how we take it here in Africa, things we take so serious are just normal situation to them over there.

She has mixed with that unserious situation which you also must blend with.

You guys have been in the relationship for 6 years which is enough to know each other.

You need to be calm when dealing with her. Give her some space, let her contact you too and make the discussion as short as possible, don't let it be obvious you are madly in love anymore, if you are not careful you will lose her to someone below your qualities as it is "possible" she is seeing more of someone else over there.

Most women loves attention, they cannot cope so long when they are not getting it from the expected source, it is not a mistake to have agreed she go abroad for her education, it worked for some while it destroyed some others.

Just take it slow and try to give her so much space, let her miss you, withing three week you should understand some other unknown feelings.

You can also call her again and tell her what you have observed and ask her if she is still into the relationship, be as cool as you can when you ask her, remind her the years you have spent together and let her know it is never too late to start afresh with someone else if she continues this way, she shouldn't make you waste any time further, she should open.

If she is interested you will know from her response.

Warning* always be prepared for the worst.

Mtsheww....ah never read my textbooks them finish...nah this long story book awon dey read....

Ogar ooo...

folakemigeh:
too long, but i will read all of it soon

Aren't you kemii on instagram

eeewise:
ignoring calls from your mum and sister shows she is evolving and the more you keep holding onto her u keep hurting yourself and resenting her.
love doesn't ask why? doesn't ask where the relationship is going. if someone is with you it will be obvious.
it's best you calm down for now if u ever have a chance saving your rship.
her interest should show in the efforts. please if you are the only one fighting for your relationship just minimize calls.
what I deduce is that you are more emotionaly invested that her.
it's time you start considering looking for someone here in Nigeria while holding unto ur girlfriend LOOSELY

Osheeeee!

Love doesn't ask why? It speaks from the heart and never explains.

It's a nice thread.

Op give me her contact I will help u out.

Forget her already$m someone who disrespected your mom by ignoring her is not worth your time

I think the OP need to take a few steps back.

I could say you should try use the reverse psychology to get her back but the question is "is she interested in being back"

Chocking people is a thing. Don't continue to choke her as I can deduce from your story that you're indeed chocking her.

People are dynamic and so are their emotions. It's very possible she want something different now, and it's much likely she "thinks" she want something different.

Your girlfriend is a big shot, you need to learn to live to match up. Not "worshiping" her.....and I'm not insinuating you are. Get busy with your own sh.it and give her space. I can bet some good money she'd come around.

@Op give ur gf time and space to adjust to her new environment. Stop whining. Act like you very busy, take charge. If she wanna chat by 5, tell you'll b busy. Form a bit. Just saying, I might b wrong though.

The power of love though.

dna4ril:
hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHO..

Mr Julius Beggar, arent you tired of begging. Shes has another life to live abroad, relationship is secondary in her thoughts right now. Am sure shes still in love, buh shes busy meeting new people and getting acclimatized with her new environment. Just send her a text point blank and thus it states 'Even if you go to the moon or visit the nine planets, i will never stop loving you, so if you think ordinary UK will take you away from me, then you will have to try harder cos i aint going no where'. Shikena