Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,148,790 members, 7,802,476 topics. Date: Friday, 19 April 2024 at 03:07 PM

4 Reasons Not To Get Married - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 4 Reasons Not To Get Married (2284 Views)

Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? / I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First / Pressure To Get Married (Photos) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Mzflexydeeva(f): 5:42am On Sep 04, 2017
Marraige is a sacrament, ordained by God. A covenant between two people who love each other and have decided to live together as one through thick and thin. It's not a game to see who gains the most scores or a competition to see who is a stronger team. It is a union where self denial is most important, where your sole aim is making you partner happy. It's a union that should be filed with love and respect for each other.
In our world today the concept of marraige and family life is lost in the greed and selfishness of our human nature. Leaving one to wonder if marriages are still conducted among individuals for the right reasons.

1.Sex- many find it hard to believe that sex is the last thing to get married for. Yes! It's true. Some people enjoy sex more before they even get married... why is this so you might want to ask?
Level like is said has changed. Things are different, you see things in a different light, now you want to plan, ensure your family is comfortable, ensure there's enough money to meet basic necessities, you have to worry about your wife, your family (parents & siblings) and even your performance at work. Sometimes these worries get you drained you just want to rest. You find that you who was once a sex freak is no longer interested since you are lost in the everyday hustle to make things right. Again when kids start coming, your sex time automatically reduces especially when they are still very young and you are overwhelmed by the gift of your own child.

2. Security- when security is mentioned in this context, the first thing that comes to mind is finances. It is no longer news that money is the driving force of most relationships. An essential lubricant between two people else the friction tears them apart. Is this really a good enough reason to get married? Wealth is no assurance for a successful marraige. Money we know can do a lot but can it sustain that much? It is always good to know that money is good but not a good enough reason to get married. Does anyone ever have enough money? No!
Like it or not, there's nothing like "my money" when compared with "our money".
Emotional security-some people are deluded by the fact that marriage keeps them emotionally stable but I beg to differ. The best test of your emotion is marraige itself. It test your limits, questions your beliefs and in some cases makes you doubt yourself.

3. Loneliness-how interesting it is to hear people say "am so lonely even with you by myside". This is a common saying even for the married. Loneliness is a response to isolation. If you think your partner can take that away solely then you have got it all wrong. To be truly happy, you have to overcome your loneliness on your own else you be lonely even in your marraige.
Find out what gives you that feeling and work through it but the solution isn't always getting married. Sometimes it requires you to build yourself and your confidence.

4. Peer pressure- gone are those days when peer pressure was attributed to the people we walk with or stick around. In this day and age, peer pressure is more of a psychological rather than physical effect. In this era of social media and the Internet, peer pressure is everywhere. The rate at which people of a certain age group known or unknown influence each other is rather alarming. People tend to be defined these days by what they see and read not necessarily what they hear. No wonder a lot of people get planning when they see the latest prewedding shots, getting rings even without a boyfriend, paying for gowns they havent been asked to wear or even giving a man a time limit just because they are under the impression everyone is getting married. Again, we are hunted by the words of parents, mockery of friends and gossip of enemies. We concern ourselves more with what others think rather what we believe, we trade our freedoms for slavery just to be among the so called "married". We indirectly label ourselves "not good enough" because those we thought had nothing to offer find their ways into marraige. We compete even when there is no competition and finally we regret because all we did was follow the wagon of wedding bells not realizing we just took a wrong turn.

Marraige on its own is difficult even when the intentions are right just imagine how much more devastating it could be when ventured for the wrong reasons. Marraige is worth enjoying, be patient, prayerful and most importantly, be you and you would find yourself in the marraige meant for you.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 5:48am On Sep 04, 2017
OP, are you single or married?
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Mzflexydeeva(f): 5:51am On Sep 04, 2017
DeeTus:
OP, are you single or married?
Why do you ask? What difference does it make

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nutase: 5:53am On Sep 04, 2017
Rant on sis
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by FemiEddy(m): 6:04am On Sep 04, 2017
Nutase:
Rant on sis
Savage grin
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 6:08am On Sep 04, 2017
Mzflexydeeva:

Why do you ask? What difference does it make
Stop acting silly. You shouldn't turn it around. You just have to respond to questions here.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Mzflexydeeva(f): 6:09am On Sep 04, 2017
DeeTus:
Stop acting silly. You shouldn't turn it around. You just have to respond to questions here.
really? Say who?
The only silly one here is you

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 6:18am On Sep 04, 2017
Mzflexydeeva:
really? Say who?
The only silly one here is you
Not getting married does not give you the absolute right to discourage other women here.

Your thread is absolutely nothing to write home about.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Mzflexydeeva(f): 6:29am On Sep 04, 2017
DeeTus:
Not getting married does not give you the absolute right to discourage other women here.

Your thread is absolutely nothing to write home about.
Clap for yourself.....simply cos u don't understand a write up doesn't mean it's my fault
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by PMWSpirit(m): 6:30am On Sep 04, 2017
Op
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by YourCoffin: 7:33am On Sep 04, 2017
Op, If I say I wan marry you, wetin you go tell me?
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 8:10am On Sep 04, 2017
DeeTus:
Not getting married does not give you the absolute right to discourage other women here.

Your thread is absolutely nothing to write home about.

I am sure a lot of peeps here does not understand/ did not read the OP

She is not against marriage; she is telling us four wrong reasons to get married.

Another way to put the thread is don't marry for sex, security/money, emotional security or loneliness....

Na wa!

@Mzflexydeeva: Sex is one of the major reasons for marriage.

Sex, kids and companionship.

I agree the lonely people shouldn't get married; people who are alone should.

2 Likes

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 8:29am On Sep 04, 2017
bukatyne:


I am sure a lot of peeps here does not understand/ did not read the OP

She is not against marriage; she is telling us four wrong reasons to get married.

Another way to put the thread is don't marry for sex, security/money, emotional security or loneliness....

Na wa!

@Mzflexydeeva: Sex is one of the major reasons for marriage.

Sex, kids and companionship.

I agree the lonely people shouldn't get married; people who are alone should.

You have less sex in marriage than before. So just kids and companion

1 Like

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 8:45am On Sep 04, 2017
pcguru1:


You have less sex in marriage than before. So just kids and companion

Who says you have less sex in marriage? You have better and guiltless sex if the couple are in the right frame of mariage.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Victornezzar: 9:01am On Sep 04, 2017
Op is pained because no man av popped up d question 2 her
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 9:13am On Sep 04, 2017
Victornezzar:
Op is pained because no man av popped up d question 2 her

always try to read and understand articles before you comment so that you don't sound stupid.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 9:14am On Sep 04, 2017
bukatyne:


Who says you have less sex in marriage? You have better and guiltless sex if the couple are in the right frame of mariage.


Depends on the couples

1 Like

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 9:16am On Sep 04, 2017
Nigerians are losers. Just take a look at the comments and you'd realise that our average level of intelligence is street level. Zero comprehension skills.
Op you have said it well, a greater number of our youths get married for one or more of the highlighted reasons, and when they fail to realise these in the marriage, they become depressed, frustrated and trapped.
Pathetic folks.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Victornezzar: 9:25am On Sep 04, 2017
Proudgorgeousga:


always try to read and understand articles before you comment so that you don't sound stupid.
Get d fvck off my mention
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 9:39am On Sep 04, 2017
Frenchfriez:
Nigerians are losers. Just take a look at the comments and you'd realise that our average level of intelligence is street level. Zero comprehension skills.
Op you have said it well, a gretwr number of out youths get married for one or more of the highlighted reasons, and when they fail to realise these in the marriage, they become depressed, frustrated and trapped.
Pathetic folks.

Comprehension skills is needed urgently.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 9:39am On Sep 04, 2017
pcguru1:


Depends on the couples

True
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 9:40am On Sep 04, 2017
pcguru1:


Depends on the couples

True.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by chukagates(m): 9:43am On Sep 04, 2017
see replies the level of IQ in nigeria is low ..instead of arguing with op if u dont agree with her.. they start throwing insults..the easy way out ofcourse Op u made valid point peoples eye are opening MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED EVEN BIBLE STATED IT THAT ITS NOT COMPULSORY ....live life to the fullest enjoy ur self not a must you have to live in a bondage called marriage were ur emotionally sapped ,financially sapped, reduces ur taste for your ambitions even makes some people compromise with their career what can you get in marriage today that u cant get if ur single??

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 9:49am On Sep 04, 2017
grin
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 9:51am On Sep 04, 2017
chukagates:
see replies the level of IQ in nigeria is low ..instead of arguing with op if u dont agree with her.. they start throwing insults..the easy way out ofcourse Op u made valid point peoples eye are opening MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED EVEN BIBLE STATED IT THAT ITS NOT COMPULSORY ....live life to the fullest enjoy ur self not a must you have to live in a bondage called marriage were ur emotionally sapped ,financially sapped, reduces ur taste for your ambitions even makes some people compromise with their career what can you get in marriage today that u cant get if ur single??
are you minding the things

In Nigeria counter arguement with logic to prove how your point is different and reasonable = insults grin

I pity the people engaging the clowns and trading words with them grin
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 9:53am On Sep 04, 2017
grin grin

#singing in Eminem's voice #

I said I'm sorry mama,I never meant to hurt you,I never meant to make you cry but tonight I'm cleaning up my closet

Stop trading words with bitter people who enjoy their misery Mr man grin
Frenchfriez:
Nigerians are losers. Just take a look at the comments and you'd realise that our average level of intelligence is street level. Zero comprehension skills.
Op you have said it well, a greater number of out youths get married for one or more of the highlighted reasons, and when they fail to realise these in the marriage, they become depressed, frustrated and trapped.
Pathetic folks.
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 9:55am On Sep 04, 2017
bukatyne:


I am sure a lot of peeps here does not understand/ did not read the OP

She is not against marriage; she is telling us four wrong reasons to get married.

Another way to put the thread is don't marry for sex, security/money, emotional security or loneliness....

Na wa!

@Mzflexydeeva: Sex is one of the major reasons for marriage.

Sex, kids and companionship.

I agree the lonely people shouldn't get married; people who are alone should.
exactly but as usual, instead of calming down with a logical mind they start throwing tantrums like a hungry chicken grin
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Nobody: 9:57am On Sep 04, 2017
dangotesmummy:
grin grin

#singing in Eminem's voice #

I said I'm sorry mama,I never meant to hurt you,I never meant to make you cry but tonight I'm cleaning up my closet

Stop trading words with bitter people who enjoy their misery Mr man grin
Lol lol lol , really I shouldn't. Sometimes one gets tempted to do that in the face of overwhelming ish.
Anyways, thank you Mrs Woman cheesy
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by bukatyne(f): 10:04am On Sep 04, 2017
dangotesmummy:
exactly but as usual, instead of calming down with a logical mind they start throwing tantrums like a hungry chicken grin

Lol @ throwing tantrums like a hungry chicken!
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 10:04am On Sep 04, 2017
Frenchfriez:

Lol lol lol , really I shouldn't. Sometimes one gets tempted to do that in the face of overwhelming ish.
Anyways, thank you Mrs Woman cheesy
my pleasure

People who didn't read the post to understand and grasp the message but read it with closed and pained mind will surely attack the messenger without a clear understanding of the message grin

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by dangotesmummy: 10:06am On Sep 04, 2017
bukatyne:


Lol @ throwing tantrums like a hungry chicken!
have you seen how touchy chickens are,how they make noise up and down.they can trek from volsk to ppl and back crowing angrily. Take time out to observe an hungry chicken. Very aggressive with all the feathers standing cheesy
Re: 4 Reasons Not To Get Married by Mzflexydeeva(f): 2:40pm On Sep 04, 2017
bukatyne:


I am sure a lot of peeps here does not understand/ did not read the OP

She is not against marriage; she is telling us four wrong reasons to get married.

Another way to put the thread is don't marry for sex, security/money, emotional security or loneliness....

Na wa!

@Mzflexydeeva: Sex is one of the major reasons for marriage.

Sex, kids and companionship.

I agree the lonely people shouldn't get married; people who are alone should.
Your head dey there jare.....

1 Like

(1) (2) (Reply)

See The Food Stuff I Bought At 500 Today / My Friend Is Not The Son's Father / Maternity Clothing - Things You Should Know About Maternity Clothes.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 56
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.