illuminated93:
No one knows me here,so I'm just gonna say somethings I consider personal. My gf has some financial issues,her parents are not forthcoming,I try to offer any assistance I'm capable of. I do this not because I'm trying to keep her,I help because it's the right thing to do. Stupidity is you running down yourself and future just so your gf can smile. It's stupid wanting to impress her,but acceptable wanting to help her. And the stuffs I will do for my gf,I will also extend such to my good male friends,it's not only limited to her. My gf has helped me too in this our world,so why shouldn't I help her when the chips are down.

Okay. I just hope when the bell rings, the sound won't break you.

@Op, you're on point.. .....keep it up
A word is enough for the wise

zionmde:

yeah at least it should be very clear to both of them that they are going to get married and not on a gf and bf level

yes.

MissCokie:


That's good. I rather tell my man to invest in himself than me.

the key to success in relationship or marriage is when the two individual depends on no one but them self! but not the other way round .

1234onyekwe:
Guy u helped her out of ur selfish interest,ask ur self this question how many times have u helped any of ur family member guininely,or helped any dude that is close to u.U did it so that u 'll be seen as a good person or get access to what lies in b/w her legs.

When you ask a question you shut up for a minute to get a response and not answering for the person.when did you turn my mouth piece?

As for your question I am naturally a cheerful giver, unlike some people like you. I give to those who ask irrespective of whether I am close to them or not. But I guess you don't live in such a world. People like you love to receive all the time.

Facts
No girl appreciate a kind heart. Dey will c u as d fool and enjoy the favour while it last.
I can never make DAT mistake.
If she want to go to school and she don't have money, she should sell pure water- DAT is entrepreneurship. DAT will help her

menxer:

Leave that bias.
What do you mean by 'pray for you?'

You have added value to a life, that is all that matters.

Bias? , where?. Hmmm. Okay.

My broda,it helps to date a girl from a good and comfortable home,for your sanity.

happney65:
I have said it times without number..Do not spend any money you cannot afford to lose on a woman that isn't your wife..Most of the folks that do this are people who struggle to give that lady the little they earn..If you earn really big you can afford to do anyhow for a woman that will appreciate it..However even at that there must be a limit...

I have a policy..I cant spend more than I can afford to lose to a woman I am not married to..For goodness sake why should I?I just look at guys that pay school fees of girlfriends..feed them,pay rents,I mean basically footing hee bills..Why should I?Shey na me born you?Noooo..I will do the little I can if you are in need..not carrying all ur bills 100%..

I don't even date ladies like that who think a Man should be paying their bills for what..Bae is from a middle class family..Her parents pay her sch fees,pay her hostel fee..feed her,pocket money etc..Whatever I do for her is just added and it isn't what she asks I MUST DO.This is a girl I intend to marry and both families already know each other..so what the hell

I think guys who do this suffer from inferiority complex sha..

goingape1:
the key to success in relationship or marriage is when the two individual depends on no one but them self! but not the other way round .

That's correct. But it seems not everybody understand.

If you wanna help somebody be it Gf, bf or whatever. You help because you have the resources to do so.
Help that doesn't expect anything in return is the purest.

But I do understand where the Op is coming from.
Life is full of betrayals, people betray you at the slightest thought.
But there's one thing i no for sure, and that is, 'No good deed goes unrewarded and same can be said for Evil deeds.

OrestesDante:
Bottom line?

What's your point?

Don't help a girl who is not your wife. If she is still your gf, use your head. If she is just a friend, don't attach emotions. Hope you're okay now?.

U nail it,i can't imagine myself taken such risk

Just so you know, the chances of me getting married to my gf is 50-50. So I assist with the understanding that there's a possibility that I don't get married to her. Do away with all this poverty mentality. It's poverty mentality to think that just because you render a help,then a help would be extended to you in your times of need. Unconsciously, you've created a need in the foreseeable future for yourself,so you will experience a deficiency. A human needs no favours if he has no problems. So a human would be needing no favours if he's not gonna be having zero problems. I don't know if you have the capacity to comprehend this,cos it's somewhat philosophical. My gf does me no harm by not getting married to me cos, someone else will fill in for her. If I don't get married to her, then I will get married to the lady God wants for me. And God's gift comes with peace of mind.

MissCokie:


Okay. I just hope when the bell rings, the sound won't break you.

illuminated93:
My broda,it helps to date a girl from a good and comfortable home,for your sanity.

Na so jare..Before I get serious with you I must know the family you come from..Not I never chop family Wey be say na make them dey live off Man go dey their memory..Na so one girl dey tell me one time say he don tey Wey her dad don give her money last say make i no dey think the way I dey think..This girl na her boyfriend dey do everything for her 100%..Them dey live together etc na the guy dey pay her school fees..I just dey pity the mumu dude..

Policy number one..Your folks must be able to foot ur bills..100%..Anything I do is just added..Not because I am the next person to do it,but because I want to..Not taking up someone's responsibility when we are not yet married..Nonesense and Buhari

to avoid story that could lead to suicide,
if ur intention is marriage, make it known to her at first, don't think she would understand ur intention when u only think it within yourself. majority of them (ladies) would take it as mother Theresa's kind of kindness. so if she accepts, take up d responsibility for her education but don't relax until she's carrying a seed for u cos it's d baby that would keep her mind home even when other cute guys start making approaches.......

meanwhile,
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ahmodu4real:
them no go understand, them go think say na poverty matter, in as much as emotion is involve never, my current girlfriend say the same thing. She want to further her education, i tell her tell her mother for me let her manage her NCE for now may be if we marry Open university is there for her, anything aside from that i cannot support her .

Exactly my broda..If we don marry..I can do anything..But when we never marry..I cant even date girls like that sef..Which kain rubbish..if I date an "obina"we go only dey Bleep ourselves nii..Simple

MissCokie:
I have heard and seen so many men sponsoring a girl who is not his wife through education/career. I just want you to know something, when she's done with you, she will leave you for someone else.

The money you would use in sponsoring her, please give it to your mother or sister to start a business or rather, sponsor your sisters education/career.

You can share your experience for others to learn.

You are right. Some guys here will be saying everything to justify their mistakes and same guys will feel bitter, heart broken and start lamenting.
Even if I have the money I can never do it rather take the money to the homeless. Acquiring more knowledge is not a waste on myself, so I will work and invest the money to acquire more knowledge in order to meet high class of people in this world.

It's something I personally known that I can never in my entire life do.
That means the girl is not in my pedigree if she assumes that i will pay the bills, because I can't even date a girl below my pedigree ( my policy in life) and has being working for me .
Can't say or lament that a girl did sure to me since I started receiving fresh air given by God Almighty.

MissCokie:


Don't help a girl who is not your wife. If she is still your gf, use your head. If she is just a friend, don't attach emotions. Hope you're okay now?.

Sure

MissCokie:
I have heard and seen so many men sponsoring a girl who is not his wife through education/career. I just want you to know something, when she's done with you, she will leave you for someone else.

The money you would use in sponsoring her, please give it to your mother or sister to start a business or rather, sponsor your sisters education/career.

You can share your experience for others to learn.

If you must sponsor a girl's education, then do it out of charity. Do not do it cos you want to marry her and keep her for yourself. Except you have upgraded yourself or are upgrading your standard beyond the standard you provide for the lady, she will leave you. Even if she is the good-girl type that will not leave you, then it will be an unhappy union except you are rich. This is the truth and the fault is not from the lady.

We grow daily in life and as we grow, birds of the same feather naturally flock together. A lady can not be reasoning in terms of second order equation and you are talking about arithmetic all the time. It will be an unhappy union. So, it is best for people to do these things out of charity not because of your need to develop her to your taste.

Let's face it, even if you are educated and you fall in love with a not-so-educated lady, you were connecting with her on the soul level and now you are developing her mental level, which will in turn effect positive resonance on her soul level. Her solar energy will certainly become higher than yours except you are also developing yourself materially, in which case you can use that to manipulate her into submission.

Look at life on those three levels and you have a perfect union. Stability in marriages and relationship must be on these 3 levels if not, you can own the body, but the mind is with someone else. You can own the mind and the body belongs to someone else. You can own the mind and the body, and he/she meets a soul mate. At the soul level, sex is great but the three levels must equate each other for marriages to stay as perfect union.

Train a lady on charity or make sure you are training her to meet your level on all three angles. The genesis of the crisis of unions are efects of imbalances on these three facets.

Peace and Love to you all.

I totally agree . I hate to hear females exhibit ingratitude after being trained by men and suddenly the men are no longer on their level. Biko guys train your family or better still marry her and train her from your house oooooo. He who has an ear, let him hear this advice.

MissCokie:


Extra burden. Life should be much more easier than this. Women indirectly suffer men, but we don't know it.

Well, what can I say?

Sips LaCasera

SURElee:
I totally agree . I hate to hear females exhibit ingratitude after being trained by men and suddenly the men are no longer on their level. Biko guys train your family or better still marry her and train her from your house oooooo. He who has an ear, let him hear this advice.

Even if she is your wife, she will leave you. And even if you have kids together, it cant be perfect union until both parties are on the same level on the 3 phases of life.

True

Sierusvirus:


You are right. Some guys we be saying everything to justify their mistakes and same guys will feel bitter, heart broken and start lamenting.
Acquiring more knowledge is not a waste on myself, so I will work and invest the money to acquire more knowledge in order to meet high class of people in this world.

Itzurboi:
bros, is that tiny fleshy tin "ABODII OR SHAKI" that afonja like..

Lol. I don't know ooo.

There is nothing wrong sponsoring a girl to school but make sure uv paid her dowry inbetween and make her your wife. If you truly want her as a wife.

And no nysc in a far region abeg.

dangotesmummy:


Really?

Yea

MrBrownJay1:


if dating a goldigging broke aaass ungrateful desperate woman, YES, but if you have a proper woman on your hands then feel her spirit, and invest whatever you think she deserves.

The "goldigging broke aaass ungrateful desperate woman" initially presents herself as a faithful wife-to-be, then turn you to mugun later. To be on a safer side, let her parents train her, that's not your duty as a boyfriend/fiance unless you don't have a profitable project to invest your hard earned money on. #MyTake

MissCokie:


No woman is "proper" if she is still your girlfriend.

Absolutely ON POINT.

Bad idea...yea dey wil end up sayin u are stingy wen u dont fall for thr trap ..buh wen u fall she mk fun of u....me i tink our nigerian girls are too political as wives ...its al abt interest to dem and not love

lexy2014:
op isn't spoiling people's minds, she's just being plain honest. Its easy 2 say give 2a man or woman u intend 2 marry without any emotions attached.fact is most times, u give more 2a person who u c as d object of ur love much more than u give 2 others. U can't avoid it.best thing is avoid it all together. If u want 2b father Christmas, then leave romance&love out of it.

To me, she spoiling people's mind,
I never said you should give without emotions attached, I said give because you want to, because it's what you want to do. Not because you were cajoled or manipulated, because then you may feel resentful

Jesus had this to say in Matthew 7:6 "Don’t give precious things to dogs. Don’t cast your pearls before swine. If you do, the pigs will trample the pearls with their little pigs’ feet, and then they will turn back and attack you". Even Jesus knew some people don't deserve good gifts.

I understand this that's why I said in my first sentence know who you are giving to

Daeylar:
I think the best way to give is to know who you are giving to and to give only what you can afford to let go

illuminated93:
No one knows me here,so I'm just gonna say somethings I consider personal. My gf has some financial issues,her parents are not forthcoming,I try to offer any assistance I'm capable of. I do this not because I'm trying to keep her,I help because it's the right thing to do. Stupidity is you running down yourself and future just so your gf can smile. It's stupid wanting to impress her,but acceptable wanting to help her. And the stuffs I will do for my gf,I will also extend such to my good male friends,it's not only limited to her. My gf has helped me too in this our world,so why shouldn't I help her when the chips are down.

God bless you for being a helper

Men like you, by the time your blessings start pouring in like water, the same Nigerians will say u are doing money rituals.
One thing Nigerian always forget is this.

God always goes over board to bless givers . Even if God forbid, she doesn't marry you.
Later u will end up with someone better, finer and a complete angel than her.
And Thats one secret in life and success