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THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle - Family - Nairaland

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THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Deraconteur(f): 1:18pm On Sep 10
THE REAL MAN

Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle



Mum: (Looks aghast) Come over here
Richards. What did you say you did to her again? (arms akimbo) Tell me one more time.

Richards: I hit her mum. A jab in her tummy, one below her butt, the last in her chest. I should have added one more in her head so that she can...

Mum: (Smiles ruefully)...get some sense abi?

Richards: (Frowns slightly) Why do you sound that way mum? Your words are sarcastic.

Mum: (Claps her hands as she shakes her head) Sarcastic ke? How will my words be sarcastic when I have well trained my son? I have trained him to be a wife beater that teaches sense to his wife. Hehehe... Why will I sound sarcastic? I am only a proud mum o

(Adjusts her Buba as she sits)

Richards: (Scratches his head) I am still not okay with the way you sound mum... No! Even the Bible says in the heart of children lies foolishness, don't spare the rod.

Mum: Abi ooooo... In the hearts of children…. Children.. Derin's father! Hehehe... (Adjusts her Buba again)

Richards: I am not her father. I am her husband but when a wife descends so low as to behaving like a child who lacks home training, wagging her tongue like an uncontrollable trailer, one just has to treat such as one! A child!

Mum: (Smiles) That is my son! Emi o bimo oshi!... Hehehe. Pass me the remote let me watch the 9pm news jare. (Gives it to her)

(After a while)

Mum: Richie, give me your phone, let me quickly do something.

Richards: (Hands a cheap phone to her)

Mum: (Shakes her head) The IPhone 7 joor. Let your mama even see how it looks. Let me touch it abeg.

Richards: (Places it in her palms) Gently mum.

Mum: Go away joor. Am I that ara oko? (smiles) let's take some selfies (presses the key) it's not coming on

Richards: (Smiles) It sometimes seizes like that mum. Just wait for a second, it will be back.

Mum: OK really....what's with this dark spot here? It's faulty?

Richards: I wanna take it out tomorrow. I will lay a complaint to the manufacturer online.

Mum: Wow... Great! (She throws it at the wall. Richards jumps up in shock, tears streaming out of his eyes)

Richards: M...... Mo..... Mum!? (screams as he pushes the table to a side and bangs the wall)

Mum: Anything the matter son? (Looks shocked)

Richards: (Turns slowly to face her) For real mum? You can ask this kinda question really! That phone is expensive. It is more expensive than any singular thing you have mum. You ruined it and you are here saying trash!!!

Mum: Richards, me?? You are insulting me? (Richards murmurs) Come on, take your phone.(Points it at him) I threw the remote control instead. Have your phone. I can't stand your insults.

Richards: (Face lightens up, collects the phone and hugs his mum) I’m so sorry. Thanks momma. I love you.

Mum: The phone is expensive, yet it constantly seizes but you don't want it smashed against the wall?

Richards: Mum, you wouldn't want to know the price.

Mum: It is more expensive that Derin? It is more valuable that your wife?

Richards: Mum, what's...

Mum: You could wait for a minute or a moment for your phone to compute and give you the desired result but you can't wait for your wife to come out of her one minute madness?

Richards: Mum...

Mum: You can hit your wife in the face, everywhere but can't stand your phone getting a scratch, really

Richards: You don't under...

Mum: If I were you, I would see her worth more than a Bugatti or any material thing. When she goes off and starts screaming, I see her as my phone needing a little more time. I wouldn't smash her against the wall. I wouldn't kick her here and there. I would wait till she is fine and then embrace the wife of my youth...

Richards: See, mum...

Mum: You noticed a fault in the phone and plan to take it to the manufacturer. Why not take the faults of your wife to the manufacturer?

Richards: (Gasps) Wow!

Mum: You got mad at me and insulted me because you thought I threw the phone away, if I were you, I would stand before anyone trying to ruin my love for me! I would speak firmly to that person no matter who it is-even my mother! He or she should respect my wife of inestimable worth!

Richards: (Sighs deeply) oh..

Mum: Only then would I be classified as a real man! The power of a real man lies in his knees, not in his fists.

Richards: (Breathes out) Even when she is wrong?

Mum: What if you are wrong my dear, can she beat you?

Richards: (Laughs) What! Incredible! I am the man here

Mum: (Shakes her head) Just like a virtuous woman will not raise his fists at her husband, real men don't beat their wives! Only weak, powerless men do that! No tangible reason can justify you raising your hands at her.

Richards: (Sober) I had been wrong?

Mum: Wrong is an understatement love. You had been foolish! A big embarrassment to the men folks!

------

Yeah right?

Richards would do good if he could pick up the broken phone again, take it the market, get it refurbished and have a really deep discussion with the Manufacturer right?

Also, phones, can you stop seizing and ask that the Manufacturer make you a better product?

Ask Him to work on you, in you, till you are well groomed because you know seizing phones can actually be frustrating!

May God heal the broken families, heartbroken wives and depressed husbands. Amen.

Source:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=731703380343645&id=100005119691695&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.731703380343645%3Atl_objid.731703380343645%3Athid.100005119691695%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1506841199%3A362026909433235777&__tn__=%2As-R


Written by: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle

18 Likes 4 Shares

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by modelmike7(m): 1:26pm On Sep 10
Insightful

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by prestigiouslady: 2:43pm On Sep 10
Educative

1 Like 1 Share

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Olajhidey22(m): 6:13pm On Sep 10
Insightful as always, God bless you Deraconteur



Lalasticlala will not come and move this to front page now ��
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by UNIQUEISRAEL(m): 6:19pm On Sep 10
NICE ONE;


BUT I CAN CONNECT YOU TO CHIMAMANDA, THE GREAT WRITER! wink wink

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by emeijeh(m): 6:19pm On Sep 10
Ethiope publishers must see this
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Divay22(f): 6:19pm On Sep 10
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Teewhy2: 6:19pm On Sep 10
Whoa good one and very explanatory, the world would have been a better place if most of our parents and elders are like this in putting us on right track.
What we have mostly now is the children parenting the parents, so the parents can't correct them because of fear of losing the financial benefits.

Considering doing a roof parapet?
check out price comparison between a concrete cast in suite against polystyrene parapet.
Polystyrene parapet is light weight and doesn't have much impact on the land.
excellent usage on swampy environment.
click below for more details.

http://www.nairaland.com/3726763/alternative-building-material-expanded-polystyrene/4

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Robisky001: 6:19pm On Sep 10
Trash. Just waited 3mins of my precious and inestimable time. grin
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by SNOWCREAM(m): 6:19pm On Sep 10
Okay
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Keneking: 6:19pm On Sep 10
Is this literature or music

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by modelmike7(m): 6:21pm On Sep 10
Olajhidey22:
Lalasticlala will not come and move this to front page now ��
he did eventually.
Thank God

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Evaberry(f): 6:21pm On Sep 10
...


TRASH!!!!


Comparing women with phones
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Narldon(f): 6:21pm On Sep 10
Nice
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by modelmike7(m): 6:21pm On Sep 10
Keneking:
Is this literature or music
Na HOME ECONOMICS

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by babyfaceafrica: 6:22pm On Sep 10
Story
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by queenitee(f): 6:23pm On Sep 10
I love this
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by emeijeh(m): 6:24pm On Sep 10
modelmike7:

Na HOME ECONOMICS

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by kevinTems: 6:26pm On Sep 10
Keneking:
Is this literature or music
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by refreshrate: 6:37pm On Sep 10
OP you owe everyone who reads this thing data. Pls do and refund, we've accepted you can't return time wasted but the data? You must.
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by wizard007(m): 6:41pm On Sep 10
Wtf, like y'all are gonna act like this isnt the real poo,every man should hve this on their notepad
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Precial419: 6:42pm On Sep 10
This is d truth bt dey wldnt listen. i realise we humans r patient with oda tings bt our fellow humans we r nt patient esp a case btw a man n a woman. u hv a probs at wrk, u take it out on ur wife, wat does ur wife do wen she has probs at wrk. imagine if women where as powerful as men, i wonder hw d home wil b- a war zone. many of us take insults frm our boss n we feel, we dnt dare talk bt u r being bossy around ur wife. violence solves noting believe it or nt.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Ontarget: 6:43pm On Sep 10
Not as simple as that
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Donjazzy12(m): 6:53pm On Sep 10
Deraconteur:
THE REAL MAN

Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle





Source:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=731703380343645&id=100005119691695&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.731703380343645%3Atl_objid.731703380343645%3Athid.100005119691695%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1506841199%3A362026909433235777&__tn__=%2As-R


Written by: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle


Of course, it is written by a subtle woman. The mind reengineering of men continues! Only simple and foolish men applaud this devious write up invented to further numb men into docility and submission.

Yeah, the piece is titled the real man. Really? Already, the title attractive and curious as it is is designed to make you wanna be one.

Yeah the wife of the man is the angel who does no wrong and is battered by the insensitive and impatient husband.
Men are pushed to bear everything their spouse throws at them including violence without as much as a sniff in their defence, while women are encouraged to be as disobedient, insulting and violent as much as possible to test whether their spouse is the real deal!

If you still fall for this kind of write up, then you need your head examined. Your manhood has slipped out of your hands when you were not watching.

A real man is fair in all dealings. He won't look for trouble but if you think being a woman entitles you to act like a jerk without repercussions, you are mistaken! A real man will put you in your place, quickly and surely!

All hail the real men out there who are holding the flag of fairness, brotherhood and manliness high!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by martolux(m): 6:53pm On Sep 10
insight for a living!
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by stifej: 6:54pm On Sep 10
Mama Lizzy I'm proud of you
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by lilbest4(m): 7:01pm On Sep 10
Who is this Lizzy sef and what does she know about being a man
All these silly women sef

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by KAYD007(m): 7:15pm On Sep 10
Donjazzy12:

Of course, it is written by a subtle woman. The mind reengineering of men continues! Only simple and foolish men applaud this devious write up invented to further numb men into docility and submission.

Yeah, the piece is titled the real man. Really? Already, the title attractive and curious as it is is designed to make you wanna be one.

Yeah the wife of the man is the angel who does no wrong and is battered by the insensitive and impatient husband.
Men are pushed to bear everything their spouse throws at them including violence without as much as a sniff in their defence, while women are encouraged to be as disobedient, insulting and violent as much as possible to test whether their spouse is the real deal!

If you still fall for this kind of write up, then you need your head examined. Your manhood has slipped out of your hands when you were not watching.

A real man is fair in all dealings. He won't look for trouble but if you think being a woman entitles you to act like a jerk without repercussions, you are mistaken! A real man will put you in your place, quickly and surely!

All hail the real men out there who are holding the flag of fairness, brotherhood and manliness high!

Nice one.

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by mercyymai(f): 7:16pm On Sep 10
Evaberry:
...


TRASH!!!!


Comparing women with phones


I know u dz berry will never see anything good here on Nairaland. Just going to different post and comment rubbish.


U need help!

1 Like

Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Ichietome: 7:27pm On Sep 10
Re: THE REAL MAN...... By Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle by Ichietome: 7:29pm On Sep 10
Donjazzy12:

Of course, it is written by a subtle woman. The mind reengineering of men continues! Only simple and foolish men applaud this devious write up invented to further numb men into docility and submission.

Yeah, the piece is titled the real man. Really? Already, the title attractive and curious as it is is designed to make you wanna be one.

Yeah the wife of the man is the angel who does no wrong and is battered by the insensitive and impatient husband.
Men are pushed to bear everything their spouse throws at them including violence without as much as a sniff in their defence, while women are encouraged to be as disobedient, insulting and violent as much as possible to test whether their spouse is the real deal!

If you still fall for this kind of write up, then you need your head examined. Your manhood has slipped out of your hands when you were not watching.

A real man is fair in all dealings. He won't look for trouble but if you think being a woman entitles you to act like a jerk without repercussions, you are mistaken! A real man will put you in your place, quickly and surely!

All hail the real men out there who are holding the flag of fairness, brotherhood and manliness high!
Correct

1 Like

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