Nairaland Forum

hummmmm there are alot of things involved in this issue, experience they say is the best teacher, i have personally been involved with a guy that was earning 40k, meeennnnnnn it just wasnt working, not because of the pay but because of other factors like complex problems, insecurity, footing bills, we argue all the time, we even argue about means of transportation, he says using flight is a waste of money, why would i sit all day just trying to get to a place like Lagos, and frankly it could be embarassing, no offence meant to guys, but i am just been realistic, it just wasnt working, and i never asked for anything from him and the funniest part was that all i got from him was numerically not up to 2000naira through out the 6months we dated which was no big deal to me cause i understood with him.

and talking about getting him something to do, i did my best, i even got him in for First bank interview but he did not make it through, a male colleague advised me never to try to get a guy a job or try to make a guy comfortable enough for you cause he will never respect you for that, maybe some might but i guess its different strokes for different folks, well till date he still hasnt gotten a good job, which means i would still have been waiting, well we may not be dating again but if i hear of openings i still try to help him, but certainly not for myself, moreover trying to help a guy only makes one feel desperate and i am of the opinion that marriage should happen at its time, well in all i dont think i will marry a jobless guy, the drama in this kind of relationship is just too much.

No they don't intimidate me. I was just talking of what I know. And you have not said I lied.
My black sisters only set that standard of 'must be a degree holder' only if the bloke is black where as
they can marry a white mechanic or even cleaner as far they are not black without bathing an eyelid.
For your information I have no problems with your degree criteria. To each his own. An average Nigerian abroad has at least 2 degrees.

i even got him in for First bank interview but he did not make it through, a male colleague advised me never to try to get a guy a job or try to make a guy comfortable enough for you cause he will never respect you for that,

na wa o, where do you guys get all these theories from.

yes u have lied

how many black women married to white mechanics have u seen??

how many white mechanics have u seeen sef?

haba I am sure you know better than what you have just said.

The mechanic there represents Artisans.

They could be bricklayers or anything but they do not have a degree.
Do you girls even ask them their occupation? The moment they do not have black skin,
they are the next best thing after amala and ewedu.

BTW it is your preference no bad feelings. My little point is that they should be made to submit their CV also where you would check if they got 2nd class upper or just school cert.

Iranoladun:

[color=#770077]@Topic
Marrying a jobless man = marrying a woman

What's that supposed to mean? Women can be lazy or jobless?
It'd make sense if women hold men to the same standards they have themselves.

Woman or not, you shouldn't be jobless unless you have a filthy rich husband and he wants you to handle other things and it works out for you two that way. Other than that, I don't see why anybody should be jobless. So, if he doesn't marry you, you'll be doing nothing with your life.

I won't.

What's wrong with marrying a jobless man?

An average jobless man won't have the money to even marry.

I know a guy who didn't have a job and got married to his long time girlfriend.
Though he came from a middle class home and his parents footed his bills.

He was already a graduate then and about a year later he got a very good job.

If the girl had refused marrying him then, they won't have had the two very beautiful kids they have now.

^ you already have 2 kids?
Nice!

hey, it is rare but it happens, I married my man when he was still slapping the curbs of lagos and we are now blessed with a beautiful son and expecting another (the last),
If the guy has potentials, go for it and give him 110% support which includes constructive criticism and lots of ego boost.
And on your part, be more patient than the heavenly saints and pray harder than david

chika98:

Don't worry about that. When I am 40 and still single; I surely won't be knocking at your door. Even you that can't complete a single sentence in English wants to yarn dust as well?? Kai I really need to quit coming to this romance section. A lot of people who post here are lacking in cognitive ability.

Smeagol, so you know where your faith is heading with your fat head?

lol @ smeagol

I call her Smeagol because this is how "cute" she looks in her pix sitting on the stairs with her fat head:

@post
say wetin happen?
how can we even get married without money? where are we going to live? what are we going to eat? i dont want a man that is going to be depending on me full-time. He is a MAN for a reason. A man must have a small job that brings in money atleast b4 thinking of settling down.

dat is arrant nonesense.love has eyes n it can see,love has senses n it can think its just dat some fools marry a jobless man.even d bible has said it,woe 2 a man dat cannot cater 4 his family 4 he is worse dan an infidel :-Xeven if he is earning 20 naira n d wife is earning 50 naira,d basic thing is dat he can still provide 4 his family 2 d best of his ability n d wife will be d help mate as in support.i have a cousin who got pregnant 4 a dude dat doesn't have a job,n dey r getin married in a weeks time.d guys mother was kind enough 2 pay d rent of one year,but my question now is dat after d rent has expired am sure she wount pay 4 d next year,d guys mother was saying dat at least b4 d end of dis yr he'll have gotten a job dat will afford him 2 pay 4 rent n other basic things,my cousins mother (my aunt) was telling d dota dat she really hopes dat hope comes alive cos if he doesnt have money 2 pay 4 rent dont think of coming back 2 my house cos i wount accomodate u,even if i'm livin in a mansion cos u chose 2 get pregnant n consequentely marry a guy without a job, while she has one i'm not looking down at d guy,i'm wishing him a brighter 2 moro but how can a man cope without a job n d wife is working n fulfilling his role role will d family depend on one source of income (from d woman) wount his ego n self esteem be affected

It is deadly, even as a man, I'd rather not advice any lady to marry a jobless man, they can court but if there is no sign of success, that definitely means the man isn't ready for a home yet!!! Well, may God help us.[flash=200,200][/flash]

TOPE2000!:

@post
say wetin happen?
how can we even get married without money? where are we going to live? what are we going to eat? i dont want a man that is going to be depending on me full-time. He is a MAN for a reason. A[b] man must have a small job that brings in money atleast [/b] b4 thinking of settling down.

small gini?

osisi is all about the ujujoans

A jobless man isn’t ripe for marriage — Elo Obokia, Actress
I may be tempted to start byb saying that it depends on the man involved, or if I’m in love with him, and so on. But the truth still remains that a jobless man shouldn’t be looking for a wife. Most men are generally uncomfortable when their women become more successful than they are. You can imagine what it will be if the man has no job at all. When you do not have a job, the translation is that you are not ripe for marriage. For any man to be ready and ripe for marriage, he should at least have a job, own a house and be willing to cater for someone else. Outside that, the man himself will never be happy.

Even his family members and friends will not be happy with him. He’ll put himself in the position of a joker where he is be seen as a woman wrapper and no woman will equally be happy when she’s seen as the commander- in- chief while her husband becomes the follower. A lot of women have had to go through pains in the hands of some jobless men who squander their money, beat them up, accuse them of having extra-marital affairs, and finally divorce is always the solution to such marriages because it just won’t work out.
I’ll give you an example of a woman who’s a pharmacist but her husband is jobless. Fom my own view, I can say that this woman has never known peace in her marriage. Her husband got jealous of her to the point that he had to start seeking for admission to study pharmacy, and when he couldn’t get one, he became frustrated.
Firstly, he never saw the walls of a university. Secondly, he cannot be a pharmacist because even if he finally gets the admission, he has no money to fund it. So, we just have to be careful of the choices we make in life. The choice of a life partner is not a very cheap one. It’s a decision that can destroy your joy for a whole lifetime, so be wise.
The Bible also told us that the woman is a helper. She’s not supposed to bear all the burden in the family alone. So, what has happened to that version of the holy book, my fellow sisters out there? Did we throw it away or have we not read that portion of the Bible? How long are we going to continue living in ignorance of the word of God?
I don’t want to be the burden bearer. My position in the home as a wife is that of a helper, and I’ll not do otherwise. Why do you think most marriages crash today?
Finance is a major factor for any home to succeed. Some men are not only jobless but also lazy, especially when they know that their wives can put food on their table, they become so lazy that they can hardly think positively.They go out to gossip and come back to molest you for food and intimacy because they are not thinking of how to make money.
I think both the man and the woman planning to get married should have something doing because nobody will come from elsewhere to pay their bills.



Love won’t put food on my table — Genevieve Nnaji, Actress

Love can’t put food on my table. The fact is that the man in question is jobless. That will only succeed in frustrating whatever I put in the relationship. So, I won’t marry a jobless man, nor will I advise anybody I know to do so.
No matter how much love any man would profess, don’t forget that money makes the world go round. You need both finance and love to make any relationship survive. If you want to remain in the light of love is everything, don’t forget that someday, you may fall sick and there’ll be no money for treatment. Will your lover boy also tell the doctors of his undying love to save your life?


That’s a lifetime mistake — Eva Ogoro, Musician
Well, it depends on the kind of man. I don’t see anything wrong in marrying a man who has just lost his job, especially, if I was in a relationship with him and he had proposed marriage to me before losing his job. It won’t be nice to leave him for someone else. But to say I want to dream of marrying a man who has no job at all will be a lifetime mistake. When you get yourself tied to such a man, then you would have signed your death warrant because he’ll milk you financially, emotionally, psychologically and otherwise.
In fact, my parents will destroy me first before I get hooked to such a man. All the love in the world can’t make up for joblessness because the man will end up being envious of all your effort to make money.


He shouldn’t be looking for a wife — Nike Johnson, Artist
Why on earth will a jobless man be looking for a wife? A man who has no job obviously cannot take care of himself. How then is he supposed to take care of someone else?
Even in the Bible when God created Adam, he gave him a job first, which is taking care of the garden. And it was after giving him a job that God saw the need for him to have a helper and gave him a wife. So, the woman is meant to be a helpmate and not the head of the family. Some of our women go into marriage all in the name of love while they overlook an important factor like finance.
Yes, it is good to love but open your eyes while doing that. I won’t marry a jobless man for any reason.



He’s worse than an infidel — Lisa Onu, Actress
Ah! I’ll not marry a jobless man…o. What will he teach my children?
A jobless man is a lazy man because I get very uncomfortable,
even as a woman when I’m jobless. God himself made it clear that a man should soil his hands and be
able to put food on the table for his home. The fact that our women are beginning to do all kinds
of stressful jobs does not take away the responsibility of the man as the provider. There’s also a portion of the bible which says that a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. So, why should I marry a jobless man?

Little wonder their marriages (in Nollywood) are crashing like hell. What role models for Nigeria and Africa. Nonsense! If your marriage is built on materiality, what do you do when the man suffers a temporary setback in business? Divorce of cause. silly!

I hate when women of failed relationships begin to advise our younger folks that marriage can never work. I hate it, like hell & death. Instead of u to think inwards & redress whatever it is that caused your misfortune, you begin to advise others to tow your failed path. Nonsense!!

hbabe:

A jobless man has no business getting married. He should focus his mind and attention on getting a source of livelihood. Last time I checked love does not pay the bills.
No, I wont marry a jobless man and I do not love blindly.

ahan! na fight? take am easy. maybe the guy wan work but no work. or prolly he was one of d victims from sanusi's ''cleaning'' exercise.

cos i really dnt think anyman likes to be jobless.

bawomolo:

osisi is all about the ujujoans

lol even the ujujoans will snatch whatever they can find once that little devil called menopause starts dressing up.

It's really difficult dating a man without a job because it means the woman has to carry all the bills, I am sure this would be fine for a couple of months or so just not indefinitely, ultimately this would place a huge strain on the relationship, I am talking from experience here, it's not easy at all! I just wouldn't marry a jobless man, he would first have to sort himself out then we can talk marriage!

SA Goddess:

It's really difficult dating a man without a job because it means the woman has to carry all the bills, I am sure this would be fine for a couple of months or so just not indefinitely, ultimately this would place a huge strain on the relationship, I am talking from experience here, it's not easy at all! I just wouldn't marry a jobless man, he would first have to sort himself out then we can talk marriage!

I agree with u, but will you marry him IF he makes less than you do?

I would marry him if he worked and contributed something to the household, he can't make way less than what I am making because a man is a man and would hate to feel emasculated, whether it is real or imagined!

SA Goddess:

I would marry him if he worked and contributed something to the household, he can't make way less than what I am making because a man is a man and would hate to feel emasculated, whether it is real or imagined!

I buy ur points, i asked that question becuase Some ladies here said they wouldn't marry a man who takes home less money that they do

With unconditional love comes compromise/understanding and I definitely would marry my Prince if even if he made less money than me, as long we both remember that it's not money that brought us together but love, I should never throw it in his face that I make more money though as this could lead to fights and disrespect in the relationship, money is nice to have for what it can get but it's not everything!

SA Goddess:

With unconditional love comes compromise/understanding and I definitely would marry my Prince if even if he made less money than me, as long we both remember that it's not money that brought us together but love, I should never throw it in his face that I make more money though as this could lead to fights and disrespect in the relationship, money is nice to have for what it can get but it's not everything!

You have my vote for 1st SA female president. I couldn't agree with u more. Gr8! you answered my question.

I thank you sir, I just think sometimes we forget what's important and just place too much value on material things and we all know earthly possessions don't mean absolute happiness, can have them all and still be as miserable as hell,

NOW my hand is up for a marriage proposal kidding hey!

SA Goddess:

I thank you sir, I just think sometimes we forget what's important and just place too much value on material things and we all know earthly possessions don't mean absolute happiness, can have them all and still be as miserable as hell,

NOW my hand is up for a marriage proposal kidding hey!

Hahahaha. . . that will be e-marriage proposal or do i need to come to SA for that? In that case, i will book my flight to Zim then cross to SA by road.

smooooooth:

ahan! na fight? take am easy. maybe the guy wan work but no work. or prolly he was one of d victims from sanusi's ''cleaning'' exercise.

cos i really dnt think anyman likes to be jobless.

Na war sef!
There are jobless men and there are jobless men! A man who lost his job will not be considered jobless in this discourse he will be said to be out of job. So victims of Sanusi's cleaning exercise and economic melt down are merely out of jobs not jobless. These can be pardoned, dated and rehabilitated for marriage purpose but the jobless and lazy guys should not be considered.
And as I stated earlier na war against the jobless men. I carry cutlass sef!

hbabe:

Na war sef!
There are jobless men and there are jobless men! A man who lost his job will not be considered jobless in this discourse he will be said to be out of job. So victims of Sanusi's cleaning exercise and economic melt down are merely out of jobs not jobless. These can be pardoned, dated and rehabilitated for marriage purpose but the jobless and lazy guys should not be considered.
And as I stated earlier na war against the jobless men. I carry cutlass sef!

chei! jobless man don dey receive militant treatment.

anyway carry the war small small sha.

A cyber proposal will do just fine thanks