Pastor dey fart... THRICE!!

doctorkush:
olosho trying to become a baby mama.telling us she's a month pregnant just three weeks after meeting our friend...
she attended the weeding and sat behind us "men in suit"
you need see the look on our face like WTF.

and

best man that won't let the bride's ass be . ... rocking it like kilode and people begin to wonder who really is the groom?
well wasn't his fault. we all drank jack Daniels all the way to the reception ..
we had to drag the mumu outta the reception after he threw up ...


isn't that awkward

This got me ROTFL.

I can relate with the Best man story though. They have these personal issues with the brides' asses at wedding. I dunno why!

obojememe:
Am scared of getting married...buh babe won't stop bringing up marriage matter..

Lord of all BACHELOR sighted

doctorkush:
olosho trying to become a baby mama.telling us she's a month pregnant just three weeks after meeting our friend...
she attended the weeding and sat behind us "men in suit"
you need see the look on our face like WTF.

and

best man that won't let the bride's ass be . ... rocking it like kilode and people begin to wonder who really is the groom?
well wasn't his fault. we all drank jack Daniels all the way to the reception ..
we had to drag the mumu outta the reception after he threw up ...


isn't that awkward

well this is

groom's parent started exchanging resounding slaps continuously and the elderlies had to separate them ...it was a royal rumble ...
they both are divorced for long, didn't get enough gist but we learnt they both are enemies and never always meet.
groom was just there and crying like
"why are you always disgracing me on my happy moments" ..heard that isn't their first or second, they always choosing the day their son is celebrating ...

the awkward thing is that we don't know if we should go console the crying groom, the embarrassed bride, the wrestling parent or just demolish the plate of jollof right before us...

we choose the later "jollof rice"

������

BHM01:
Wedding where the groom failed to show up for reasons best known to him, his friends went out in search of him, found him and brought him to the venue. His face was hard throughout the wedding ceremony, he failed to smile or dance. Only God knows what happened cause the Bride be like "u go do this one whether u like it or not

By fire by force. Very funny.

Chidonc:
the bride who used her hand to share rice somewhere in ibadan so that only those that paid for asoebi would eat.

Lol...oh my lawd

obojememe:
Am scared of getting married...buh babe won't stop bringing up marriage matter..

If you are scared, read beautiful wedding moments instead of the negative and ugly ones. There are plenty of them, the only problem is that the world like to promote the negative moments.

deturla:

your style of writing is amazing. Bros you no go teach me?

doctorkush:
olosho trying to become a baby mama.telling us she's a month pregnant just three weeks after meeting our friend...
she attended the weeding and sat behind us "men in suit"
you need see the look on our face like WTF.

and

best man that won't let the bride's ass be . ... rocking it like kilode and people begin to wonder who really is the groom?
well wasn't his fault. we all drank jack Daniels all the way to the reception ..
we had to drag the mumu outta the reception after he threw up ...


isn't that awkward

well this is

groom's parent started exchanging resounding slaps continuously and the elderlies had to separate them ...it was a royal rumble ...
they both are divorced for long, didn't get enough gist but we learnt they both are enemies and never always meet.
groom was just there and crying like
"why are you always disgracing me on my happy moments" ..heard that isn't their first or second, they always choosing the day their son is celebrating ...

the awkward thing is that we don't know if we should go console the crying groom, the embarrassed bride, the wrestling parent or just demolish the plate of jollof right before us...

we choose the later "jollof rice"

Kikikikikikikikikiki

I'm still wondering where I will do my wedding to avoid ex crashing in... I'm thinking of ghost town or isolated prison yard.. because Yoruba and Edo girls I knack for this world fit spoil my wedding... abeg any idea where to do private wedding

hakeem4:
The weirdest thing that ever happened to me was that after coming from Ikorodu to the island

They told me that there was no more jollof rice again

I wanted to faint

lol..... u wanna faint ke? shey na food u con chop ni?

Almost at the wedding venue (church) when I met a colleague driving out with his family.
Me: ah! Has the "show" ended? Where to?
Him (looking very sad) : No, they've not even started.
Me (alarmed at the look on his face) : ki lo sele? What's going on? Is everything OK?
Him: hmmm. It's like the wedding has been postponed. Get in the car, let me drop you off.
At that point, my amebo senses sharpened and I asked him if anyone was still at the venue. He said yes and I declined the "free ride" back home.
I hastened my steps and when I got to the venue, I saw people wearing sad faces (some hissing annoyingly).
What went wrong? The church where the wedding was to hold was under lock and key and No official was in sight.
After asking around and no one was willing to talk, I went to meet the heavily pregnant bride who was at the time, sitting in the car and looking as if nothing was wrong (that babe get mind sha). I saw her grandpa sitting beside her and I greeted them both. It seemed strange to me that it was only her grandpa with her and he was wearing suit. When I looked closer, I noticed that grandpa was wearing gloves too. Well, maybe na new style, I looked away from grandpa and asked the bride what was going on and she told me that the church wedding won't hold again, that it they will just do reception.
Me: haba! Reception ke? Oko yin nko? (where's the groom?)
Her : awon naa ni won joko si bi yii (he's the one seated beside me.
I opened my mouth and for a few seconds, I could not form any words.
It turned out that she was getting married to a very old man (old enough to be her father) and this man was still legally married to another woman. The church got wind of this and decided not to be involved.
Come and see as food wasted that day. People were too embarrassed to even eat. Did I eat? Yes (I didn't even know that the MC saw me and he kept calling me "onijekuje" weeks later).

Funny Indeed.

doctorkush:
olosho trying to become a baby mama.telling us she's a month pregnant just three weeks after meeting our friend...
she attended the weeding and sat behind us "men in suit"
you need see the look on our face like WTF.

and

best man that won't let the bride's ass be . ... rocking it like kilode and people begin to wonder who really is the groom?
well wasn't his fault. we all drank jack Daniels all the way to the reception ..
we had to drag the mumu outta the reception after he threw up ...


isn't that awkward

well this is

groom's parent started exchanging resounding slaps continuously and the elderlies had to separate them ...it was a royal rumble ...
they both are divorced for long, didn't get enough gist but we learnt they both are enemies and never always meet.
groom was just there and crying like
"why are you always disgracing me on my happy moments" ..heard that isn't their first or second, they always choosing the day their son is celebrating ...

the awkward thing is that we don't know if we should go console the crying groom, the embarrassed bride, the wrestling parent or just demolish the plate of jollof right before us...

we choose the later "jollof rice"

Nigerian Jollof always wins!

see as female monikers full this thread, dem don come read tori of people wey dey put put sand sand for brides garri, make dem know as dem go take avoid the mata on their own day,lool. Umunwanyi!!!

This is a story of a groom whos mum dont like the bride he wants to marry, so on the wedding day after both said,their vows, the mum fainted, she was rushed outside as wedding continues.

My cousin's wedding was an effing shitshow as my family really didn't like the bride's family. The reception started off terribly as the MC, one of the bride's cousins, introduced the couple as "Please welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Terry........" Awkward pause as everyone realizes he forgot the groom's last name.

Op, you expect me to believe these fairy tales
Where did these things happen? When? Kedu Maka pictures

That moment when broke Undergraduates attend any available wedding around. Na them dey chop jolof, moimoi, amala, eba,pounded yam consecutively and still hustle for polybag for takeaway. Did this once during PD. OAU students i hail

ELKHALIFAISIS:
I'm still wondering where I will do my wedding to avoid ex crashing in... I'm thinking of ghost town or isolated prison yard.. because Yoruba and Edo girls I knack for this world fit spoil my wedding... abeg any idea where to do private wedding

Must you celebrate the wedding

My cousin's wedding was an effing shitshow as my family really didn't like the bride's family. The reception started off terribly as the MC, one of the bride's cousins, introduced the couple as "Please welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Terry........" Awkward pause as everyone realizes he forgot the groom's last name.

I attended a wedding ceremony somewhere in lagos. There wasn't enough food going round. Apparently the groom was the sole provider of the wedding funds so he was the one who called the caterer. Over sabi caterers only served the groom's family.
Trust ladies, Some of the bride's friends came to gist her of the happenings. She told her husband. He went to the caterer and cautioned them about it.
Meanwhile, party has ended so it was just music. Friends gathered round the bride, they were gisting while the bride was eating. As per normal girls talk, they kept on discussing about the caterers attitude.
The groom got angry and the next thing we heard was a HOT SLAP on the bride's cheeks. He then took the glass cup in front of her and wanted to hit her but thank God for the best man's intervention. The whole hall got quiet. It was so embarrassing. The bride was just crying.

What got me pissed off was that he did it right in the presence of the bride's family and they couldn't utter a word.
Just because the bride is an Orphan. No elder in the family could react.(The bride's family isn't that wealthy )
I cried that day. Cos it made me realise the importance of one's parents. No parent will take in such attitude.
That incident will never leave the bride's memory. I wonder how she will feel each time they remember their wedding anniversary
Abeg will the guy still sleep with the bride that night? If na me eh...Marriage cancelled. lol

Chidonc:
the bride who used her hand to share rice somewhere in ibadan so that only those that paid for asoebi would eat.

Klaklakla

Savagery

* * falls from ugu tree ****

I don laugh taya here Oko.

one Ghanian wedding(made front-page on nairaland some years back),the bride refuse to swear she won't sleep with any other man

BHM01:
Wedding where the groom failed to show up for reasons best known to him, his friends went out in search of him, found him and brought him to the venue. His face was hard throughout the wedding ceremony, he failed to smile or dance. Only God knows what happened cause the Bride be like "u go do this one whether u like it or not

Later when he smashes her face in with the house trophy people will be wondering what went wrong. I don't care how much has been spent but a groom failing to show up at a wedding, to the point that he has to be dragged there is not a good sign. No matter what transpired between him and the wife-to-be be it fight or misunderstanding, he should know that that day is one of the most important day in his wife-to-be's life (and his) and he shouldn't do anything to fvck it up.

Or maybe he's just gay. If that was the case, I take back all my comments.

hazureal:
Almost at the wedding venue (church) when I met a colleague driving out with his family.
Me: ah! Has the "show" ended? Where to?
Him (looking very sad) : No, they've not even started.
Me (alarmed at the look on his face) : ki lo sele? What's going on? Is everything OK?
Him: hmmm. It's like the wedding has been postponed. Get in the car, let me drop you off.
At that point, my amebo senses sharpened and I asked him if anyone was still at the venue. He said yes and I declined the "free ride" back home.
I hastened my steps and when I got to the venue, I saw people wearing sad faces (some hissing annoyingly).
What went wrong? The church where the wedding was to hold was under lock and key and No official was in sight.
After asking around and no one was willing to talk, I went to meet the heavily pregnant bride who was at the time, sitting in the car and looking as if nothing was wrong (that babe get mind sha). I saw her grandpa sitting beside her and I greeted them both. It seemed strange to me that it was only her grandpa with her and he was wearing suit. When I looked closer, I noticed that grandpa was wearing gloves too. Well, maybe na new style, I looked away from grandpa and asked the bride what was going on and she told me that the church wedding won't hold again, that it they will just do reception.
Me: haba! Reception ke? Oko yin nko? (where's the groom?)
Her : awon naa ni won joko si bi yii (he's the one seated beside me.
I opened my mouth and for a few seconds, I could not form any words.
It turned out that she was getting married to a very old man (old enough to be her father) and this man was still legally married to another woman. The church got wind of this and decided not to be involved.
Come and see as food wasted that day. People were too embarrassed to even eat. Did I eat? Yes (I didn't even know that the MC saw me and he kept calling me "onijekuje" weeks later).

Aside the fact that this is d most hilarious comment on this thread i also think you
should start writing comic magazine or something. I love your writing style.....Kudos

breadandtea:
Are these points fictional or what?

fictional.

doctorkush:
olosho trying to become a baby mama.telling us she's a month pregnant just three weeks after meeting our friend...
she attended the weeding and sat behind us "men in suit"
you need see the look on our face like WTF.

and

best man that won't let the bride's ass be . ... rocking it like kilode and people begin to wonder who really is the groom?
well wasn't his fault. we all drank jack Daniels all the way to the reception ..
we had to drag the mumu outta the reception after he threw up ...


isn't that awkward

well this is

groom's parent started exchanging resounding slaps continuously and the elderlies had to separate them ...it was a royal rumble ...
they both are divorced for long, didn't get enough gist but we learnt they both are enemies and never always meet.
groom was just there and crying like
"why are you always disgracing me on my happy moments" ..heard that isn't their first or second, they always choosing the day their son is celebrating ...

the awkward thing is that we don't know if we should go console the crying groom, the embarrassed bride, the wrestling parent or just demolish the plate of jollof right before us...

we choose the later "jollof rice"

this got me rotfl

breadandtea:
Are these points fictional or what?

Someone is scared already

brain54:


fictional.

Does it seem fictional to you

deturla:

Does it seem fictional to you

sure does.