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How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? - Romance - Nairaland

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How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by yasmina85: 3:29pm On Sep 14
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided

13 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by makydebbie(f): 3:30pm On Sep 14
So I don't know what you're waiting for. After all these years. You better wake up and tell the guy you both aint getting younger. And you guys are more like a couple so that's why he's relaxed. How can you be with a guy for six years and your parents haven't met him?



I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

My dear you cannot eat your cake and have it. It's either he makes up his mind for door knocking or he takes the exit. Tell him what he should do and you're not about to wait another six years before you guys break up and you understand he's not ready.

101 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by swazpedro(m): 3:32pm On Sep 14
Hmm
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by KingRex1: 3:34pm On Sep 14
Invite your parents over, invite him too.. Start from there

98 Likes 8 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by thesicilian: 3:35pm On Sep 14
He feels too comfortable with you, that's why. Set him up to make it look like other serious guys are coming around and you are seriously considering accepting their offer. In that way he'll either let you go, or take the relationship to the next level. And that is exactly what you need now: a firm decision. Don't be afraid of losing him. Life is too short to waste 6yrs in one spot.

183 Likes 7 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Pusyiter(m): 3:36pm On Sep 14
I would not blame your BF since you are already doing what couples do, he would hesitate to do the needful because he is already enjoying the forbidden nunu. But seriously, deprive him of the marital bliss (consummation) to make him be bold and more responsible. If not, like play like play na dating mood una go dey o

44 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by pu7pl3(m): 3:42pm On Sep 14
Ur man is gamophobic stop disturbing us and go to a therapist angry

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Florblu(f): 3:43pm On Sep 14
KingRex1:
Invite your parents over, invite him too.. Start from there


grin grin grin grin
Guy abeg

30 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Florblu(f): 3:46pm On Sep 14
There is no point pushing him.If he is not ready to meet your parent for no reason after all this years ,Babe please take a walk,
Isn't it obvious you've been dating yourself all this while?

23 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by eezeribe(m): 3:48pm On Sep 14
Now you still have all your lifelines with you... Just quietly walk away....
Your age range puts you on the hot seat,so when next you are on the game show,instead of wasting time guessing,just walk away with what you have....
lalasticlala,Mynd44

4 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by mofeoluwadassah: 3:49pm On Sep 14
you have been dating for almost 6years and hes dragging his feet 2 go see ur parent....and you never talk to your leg abi

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by eezeribe(m): 3:49pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
He is not interested in getting married now... Even if you guys break up and make up a million times,he will continue hiding under the guise of starting afresh...
Moreover,he has not even proposed so I don't know how you would be able to convince him to come "knock on the door"...

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Chidonc(m): 3:50pm On Sep 14
get a hammer, go to ur father's house and remove the door, then bring it closer to your bf 2 knock, shekena, no time to waste.

41 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by OKANGPRECIOUS(f): 3:57pm On Sep 14
Desperation mode activated.

Why are you making yourself cheap before him. You are talking of door knocking
I guess after that you will take in and start delivering children for him.

Babe wise up. Don't be too clingy to him incase other suitors want to come in.

Don't tell him again about coming to see your parent. You are pushing him against his wish
He may marry you out of pity n tomorrow he will regret marrying you.

Give am space joor. If he loves you he will go and do the needful

29 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Daveey: 4:09pm On Sep 14
KingRex1:
Invite your parents over, invite him too.. Start from there
grin grin grin
It won't solve the problem, but like you said its a starting point

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by KingRex1: 4:20pm On Sep 14
Florblu:



grin grin grin grin
Guy abeg
No time o grin
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by ariyebaba(m): 4:43pm On Sep 14
Its like you are only dateable and not marriageble.cheesy
by the way, why buying the cow when u can av free milk

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by yasmina85: 5:01pm On Sep 14
@KingRex1: he actually already met my parents on "casual" occasions.The problem is that he never came "officialy" with his own family.

@eezeribe: he never proposed "movie like" for sure but when he talks about us starting a family all the time, makes plans about our future life together...He actually wan'ts a child and I told him to marry me before.

@ariyebaba: maybe i'm not marriage material. if that's the case, I would really want to know why because I think I've done everything a young lady is supposed to do to fit the "good catch" category
About that "buying the cow..." if you're talking about intimacy, I don't think that's the problem. 99% of my married GF had sex with their husbands before and still got married.

maybe he's just not that into me after a cryll

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by ScotFree: 5:40pm On Sep 14
IS IT BY FORCE Move on! Were you tied down there? Later you'll be looking for the village aunty that has tied your destiny. And some men of God will collect your tithe and still put you under punishment of fasting while they eat chicken and wine with your tithe. Have sense and move, or be moved!

7 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by ashjay001(m): 5:55pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
@KingRex1: he actually already met my parents on "casual" occasions.The problem is that he never came "officialy" with his own family.

@eezeribe: he never proposed "movie like" for sure but when he talks about us starting a family all the time, makes plans about our future life together...He actually wan'ts a child and I told him to marry me before.

@ariyebaba: maybe i'm not marriage material. if that's the case, I would really want to know why because I think I've done everything a young lady is supposed to do to fit the "good catch" category
About that "buying the cow..." if you're talking about intimacy, I don't think that's the problem. 99% of my married GF had sex with their husbands before and still got married.

maybe he's just not that into me after a cryll


The fact is, he loves u. Just afraid of marriage. Probably claiming to be a modern man. Moves in, have kids n if things still work out, get married.

U sound old school(i.e. conservative), so I would advice u to move on. From here, I can basically feel what he is afraid of.

But, if u can shed ur......., u just need to trust him. He came back after all!?

5 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Chukazu: 6:04pm On Sep 14
undecided if he is not seeing your parent then you go see his own parent naa

6 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Kentnickole(m): 6:10pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
lock yourselves in a room and bang-ride the hell out of each other; come and thank me later

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by pcguru1(m): 6:26pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
There might be an underlying issue, Fear of Money, Fear of making the right choice, or Just fear of the Unknown, or Just fear of fear itself concerning the whole thing, you guys need to talk deeply you ain't kids, besides 6 years for me no need for even proposal just walk to the dad and talk.

5 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Partnerbiz3: 7:00pm On Sep 14
Pray..

And
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Papiikush: 7:00pm On Sep 14
I knew this was going to make Frontpage..

If you are worth it, you wouldn't be the one begging to get married. What you guys need to understand is there are always two sides to a story...but that doesn't mean anything once a women is the "victim" undecided



What If she is not the kindda woman worth settling down with?

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Billyonaire: 7:00pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided

Very simple. Get pregnant and keep the pregnancy.

3 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by reyscrub(m): 7:01pm On Sep 14
Do you mean your bf?

Because I can't understand you asking how your fiance can be introduce to your parent. Na outcast guy be your partner weh you no fit carry come home?

I must be sincere and Franklin tell it to your face that the guy must be your bf and not your hub. The guy is enjoy licking your sweet cunt and if possible that you open his earth to see, you will see that he has a preferred in his diary.

Threat him of not doing againg except he come to know your people, you will see that he will be passive about your nailing.

So just enjoy each other and get a spear guy around in case the thing fall apart btw two of you.

If my advice is odd, welll apply the 11th commandment asap.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by deepwater(f): 7:01pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:


Please what can I do ?? undecided

Are you guys from same tribe?

pcguru1:


Am curious where this is going ?

The guy might genuinely love her but his parent might frown at her tribe I. E if she is from another tribe.

Many people meet love far from their root, maybe at church or in school or perhaps another town where they grow up and chances of the partner being from another tribe is very high. (myself a perfect example)

It becomes jolly and rosy at the start since it is bf and gf things but when the time of settling comes they might be opposed by reality of folks not accepting tribe.

For my case, it wasn't an issue, but it is less significant as I have seen so many true love thwarted due to tribal difference.

The guy needs to man up and face his fears.

Another point is what is the age difference, people don't consider this fact when dating but it is very important in Marriage I

4 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by blackbeau1(f): 7:01pm On Sep 14
My dear, tell him to commit or to leave you alone. Trust me if a guy wants to marry he, he would.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by soberdrunk(m): 7:01pm On Sep 14
My dear i am going to be blunt and honest with you, dont listen to all these 'aunty feminists' screaming 'give him deadline', that is what put you in this situation in the first place because no man likes to be pressured to do anything, especially 'marriage'. '6 years' is a long time to throw away and it is obvious you truly love him so read the following tips very carefully and follow them if you want to marry this year. Normally i will have charged you one crate of gulder for advice but am feeling generous----


1) kill the topic--- Dont mention anything about marriage again, dont even think of giving him deadline beacause even if it works it might still come up later in the marriage how you pressured him into marriage and whenever you guys have issues you will always hear it.

2)Operation become unavailable!!-- It is no secret that absence makes the heart grow fonder so you have to reduce the time you spend with him, let him crave you more. Let him realize how much he needs you, it is not everytime he dials ur number you will deliver like dominos pizza

3)Competition---- It is time you create competition whether 'imaginary' or 'real', show him that your 'market is selling' and that he has to fight to keep you. We men tend to take women for granted when we realize that there is no competition. Let him no there are options and he is expendable.

4) Go spiritual--- whatever way you worship, you need to talk to the higher force about it


If you do all these any he doesnt marry you in the next 6months-1 year then there is more to the situation than the ordinary eyes can see.... angry

98 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by reminiscing(f): 7:02pm On Sep 14
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
Use magnet,...... What kind of question is this?
How can you be waiting hopelessly?

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