BrotherJesu:


his excuse for non accountability is his demanding family and i hope deh all die dis night

Tending to his extended family at the expense of his nuclear family, his first major assignment Then let them come to his rescue now..
Family should be close and be catered for but a man's first responsibility should be his wife and children first.

Little wonder your mum buried herself in making money and enhancing her career,she saw it coming.
If she had been a cheerful giver to friends and family and neglected you as her uttermost responsibility, what will you say

[s]

TonyeBarcanista:
Men af suffered..

Your mother gave you a car and instructed you not to allow your father drive it? You even agreed with a smile on your face?

I am sure your sons will be proud of you when they hear the story.

Anyway, it's best your father leave the house, you guys have embarrassed and humiliated him enough. I am very sure that it was due to the misconduct of your mom that he got another mistress.

[/s]
shatap Tonye who gave you the authority to come here?
go back to politics section and continue monetizing your moniker at #100 per post

One thing is does your dad still has his job??
400k per month and no accountability??

You need to talk to both of them, your dad had probably had his time but bleeeped up and your know payback is a b*tch..
Your mum is bitter but she needs to be cautioned before she looses control of it all.
Let your dad beg your mum sincerly cos she is hurting, all her showoff are just coverup for the hurt and pain on the inside (ain't a bad thing to apologise to ones wife)..he should apologise because he means it and he's apologetic..
your mum should apologise too for going this far..he's still her husband, he might not have handled certain matters well,but he's human and bound to make mistakes..They should forgive each other and let peace reign.

if it doesn't work, maybe a temporary separation might save the day, sometimes the heart heals when alone...some wounds heal if you don't touch it.

I pray peace and love comes back to this home.

prestigiouslady:

And your mum isn't in sorrow? when she has a husband that is not responsible enough to cater for his family yet she had to take the wheel to provide for the family. To worsen the matter, he couldn't bridle his manhood and got another woman pregnant...so you think your dad hasn't make your mum miserable enough
if this is how you'll shift the whole blame on your mum, I really feel for her.
There are some matters that "sorry" doesn't resolve, the consequences are still there...infidelity to the extent of fathering a child outside marriage is one..
If tables were turned, will you be here seeking for advise??
If your mum's way of healing is to show off her hard earned money, let her do it...
I'm not in support of what she's doing but if that's her own way to get the pound of flesh back, so be it.

Did we read same story? Did you read the part where he said the wife has been travelling often without hubby's permission? As in a married woman going out of state without notifying her husband.

She equally buying a car and making the whole neighbourhood know is her personal belonging as well as the church, is not enough punishment shey?

The man failed in his responsibilities by not providing adequately for his family, and again failed bitterly for fathering another child with a stranger.

In all, the man, the wife, as well as the son failed to make their family work. The son should be ashamed of himself for not being able to address his parents, and allowing the family to break to this point.

Op, call your parents to order. If possible threaten them with leaving the house without returning again till peace is restored. I belive your mom is getting all the wealth for you as the only child, then pressure her into doing the right thing before the family becomes history

BrotherJesu:

apart feom his monthly salary, whixh camt be accounted for i think mumcy pushed him out am a guy too i cant be blind to d truth kus i love my mum.

It's not easy being the only source of income in a home, and it's worse if the man in question earns well and nobody feels the impact at home.
Many problems in marriage are caused by finances. Why would a man who earns well leave all the responsibilty to his wife? That's unforgivable and is the cause of the whole problems in their marriage, so don't ever assume it's a minor issue.
It's a different thing if he didn't earn so well. Who has he been spending his money on? Who's more important than You, his children?

9japrof:
I know a lot of people would blame your mummy buh your dad set in motion a lot of things going wrong in that family... For an action, there must be an opposite equal reaction. Married folks should know that whatever action of irresponsibility or infidelity must tell in their family either now or in the long run.

Your dad earns 400k plus, and still shys away from responsibilities, two thinks takes the cash, woman and drinks. You confirming he impregnated a lady outside is a proof that your dad is a reckless fellow, so all your mum is doing is to get back at the fellow.

Please abeg free the poor woman she has suffered, all she has, she has laboured for....

You're a man and you're talking this way. I pity u. How do you know he 'shy' away from his responsibilities? I'm sure that man is trying his best for his family but you can never satisfy women, he can still afford good car with 400k monthly salary yet he has none. If you like cut ur head for women, they will still complain. That woman has completely destroyed her husband ego, the man needs to quit the marriage to get his sanity back.
If the woman is responsible, even if she's super rich than the husband nobody would notice.

AFONAMARO:


Did we read same story? Did you read the part where he said the wife has been travelling often without hubby's permission? As in a married woman going out of state without notifying her husband.

She equally buying a car and making the whole neighbourhood know is her personal belonging as well as the church, is not enough punishment shey?

The man failed in his responsibilities by not providing adequately for his family, and again failed bitterly for fathering another child with a stranger.

In all, the man, the wife, as well as the son failed to make their family work. The son should be ashamed of himself for not being able to address his parents, and allowing the family to break to this point.

Op, call your parents to order. If possible threaten them with leaving the house without returning again till peace is restored. I belive your mom is getting all the wealth for you as the only child, then pressure her into doing the right thing before the family becomes history

Why is it wrong for a woman to show off her achievements?
Why does it pain people so much? If she buys a car, is it wrong for her to ask them to pray over it in church? I'm sure that's how the church people knew she got a car.
Or was she expected to hand over the car to her husband, and she should continue entering public buses? He can always use the car when she's not using it.
Please some things are not relevant at all.
It's wrong of her to travel without telling her husband. But you cannot stop her travelling to get money to raise her children if their father isn't living up to his responsibilies.
We have to just face reality, hunger is no man's friend.

grafixdon:


You're a man and you're talking this way. I pity u. How do you know he 'shy' away from his responsibilities? I'm sure that man is trying his best for his family but you can never satisfy women, he can still afford good car with 400k monthly salary yet he has none. If you like cut ur head for women, they will still complain. That woman has completely destroyed her husband ego, the man needs to quit the marriage to get his sanity back.
If the woman is responsible, even if she's super rich than the husband nobody would notice.

You have spoken well...

As a man, if you do 1000 good to a woman, she will always use "that singular bad deed" against you as an excuse for her to misbehave. Meanwhile, if she do you 1000 wrong, she will always remind you of that singular good she did to you to make you overlook the 1000 wrong.

The talk of impregnating a lady and catering for the needs of his relatives are merely excuses to justify the evil of the woman towards such a gentleman. The claim that the man doesn't cater for his own family is hogwash to give a dog a bad name in order to justify killing it.

The man has done well by leaving the house and relocating to Delta state, let the woman marry her money/connection and the OP be adopted by the money as son. Thankfully, the man has another child as consolation.


May God help us

[s]

TonyeBarcanista:

You have spoken well...

As a man, if you do 1000 good to a woman, she will always use "that singular bad deed" against you as an excuse for her to misbehave. Meanwhile, if she do you 1000 wrong, she will always remind you of that singular good she did to you to make you overlook the 1000 wrong.

The talk of impregnating a lady and catering for the needs of his relatives are merely excuses to justify the evil of the woman towards such a gentleman. The claim that the man doesn't cater for his own family is hogwash to give a dog a bad name in order to justify killing it.

The man has done well by leaving the house and relocating to Delta state, let the woman marry her money/connection and the OP be adopted by the money as son. Thankfully, the man has another child as consolation.


May God help us

[/s]
trash trash trash

I don't believe your dad earn that much.

Why don't you speak with him to clarify things? He may be going through a lot.


Your dad impregnated another woman, that's a bad thing but like you said, he's apologized and promised to keep them out of reach. The question is, what about your mom? Oh, you think all those travels don't come similar and personal reasons? Of course, she has a side bae as well.

There's nothing you can do at this point. Just watch them go their separate ways.

eyinjuege:


Why is it wrong for a woman to show off her achievements?
Why does it pain people so much? If she buys a car, is it wrong for her to ask them to pray over it in church? I'm sure that's how the church people knew she got a car.
Or was she expected to hand over the car to her husband, and she should continue entering public buses? He can always use the car when she's not using it.
Please some things are not relevant at all.
It's wrong of her to travel without telling her husband. But you cannot stop her travelling to get money to raise her children if their father isn't living up to his responsibilies.
We have to just face reality, hunger is no man's friend.

Never said she should hand over the keys to the hubby, neither did I say the man is responsible. But let's not preach what we can't do in our individual homes.
I bet you can't behave like the wife in your matrimonial home.

As for the wife showing off which you are supporting, my car and properties have me and my wife's names on it. I did not mean mr and mrs, my first name, her first name and our surname is on all the documents. So forgive me if I see it as unusual for her to be making known that it's her personal property.

I trust you equally read were the son said he was instructed my his mom not to allow his dad use the car. When there are issues or differences at home, let's keep the kids out of it, rather than teaching them hatred and bad blood.

prestigiouslady:
One thing is does your dad still has his job??
400k per month and no accountability??

Thanks, at least someone finally questioned the authenticity of that claim.

@OP, fact is, that 400k claim only existed in your mom's imagination. Women most times overestimate their husband's earnings. I find it hard to believe some of the comments I found here, so repulsive and id!otic.

Why would you even believe that lie? A married man earning N400k salary without a responsbility? not even a car? Which married man with N400k salary will allow an arrogant woman disgrace him in church and in the neighborhood because of one car?
80% of car owners in Nigeria don't even earn as much as 300k/monthly.

Don't be stup!d enough to believe that lie! In fact, if that nonsense is the only reason your mom gave for her behavior, then you need to be careful!

What type of responsibility are we talking about by the way? Aren't you the only the son? Abeg, what school did you attend? American University of Nigeria? What's so hard in raising one son in Nigeria? Just one son, and one car, and somebody won't be able to live in peace again?

Abeg help them break that home already. It is not worth it! There is a reason a man is made the head of the home; a lot of women out there cannot handle power without getting intoxicated.

Usually when a female spouse behaves this way she's likely to be hurting and reacting to some stuff that her man had done to her and didn't make amends properly for!

She may not even have had the chance to fully express her grievances! Unfortntuately the OP is only privy to this reaction now! It's been a long time coming...

It's not likely that this affair he had that produced a child is his first or a recent development for eg!
She's buried herself in her work because she feels the man isn't worth it!

@ OP your dad should man up and make amends! It'll be a repeated exercise but he should give it a shot

prestigiouslady:
One thing is does your dad still has his job??
400k per month and no accountability??

You need to talk to both of them, your dad had probably had his time but bleeeped up and your know payback is a b*tch..
Your mum is bitter but she needs to be cautioned before she looses control of it all.
Let your dad beg your mum sincerly cos she is hurting, all her showoff are just coverup for the hurt and pain on the inside (ain't a bad thing to apologise to ones wife)..he should apologise because he means it and he's apologetic..
your mum should apologise too for going this far..he's still her husband, he might not have handled certain matters well,but he's human and bound to make mistakes..They should forgive each other and let peace reign.

if it doesn't work, maybe a temporary separation might save the day, sometimes the heart heals when alone...some wounds heal if you don't touch it.

I pray peace and love comes back to this home.

thank you

smartty68:

But he apologized remember?

Apologize? ? Like me bringing forth a bastard and then apologizing like it didnt mean a thing?? Huh You must be outta your mind

AFONAMARO:


Did we read same story? Did you read the part where he said the wife has been travelling often without hubby's permission? As in a married woman going out of state without notifying her husband.

She equally buying a car and making the whole neighbourhood know is her personal belonging as well as the church, is not enough punishment shey?

The man failed in his responsibilities by not providing adequately for his family, and again failed bitterly for fathering another child with a stranger.

In all, the man, the wife, as well as the son failed to make their family work. The son should be ashamed of himself for not being able to address his parents, and allowing the family to break to this point.

Op, call your parents to order. If possible threaten them with leaving the house without returning again till peace is restored. I belive your mom is getting all the wealth for you as the only child, then pressure her into doing the right thing before the family becomes history

i really wish u know how desperate i am now to fix my family bekus of all this i baerly go again

TonyeBarcanista:

You have spoken well...

As a man, if you do 1000 good to a woman, she will always use "that singular bad deed" against you as an excuse for her to misbehave. Meanwhile, if she do you 1000 wrong, she will always remind you of that singular good she did to you to make you overlook the 1000 wrong.

The talk of impregnating a lady and catering for the needs of his relatives are merely excuses to justify the evil of the woman towards such a gentleman. The claim that the man doesn't cater for his own family is hogwash to give a dog a bad name in order to justify killing it.

The man has done well by leaving the house and relocating to Delta state, let the woman marry her money/connection and the OP be adopted by the money as son. Thankfully, the man has another child as consolation.


May God help us

Wisdom!

Please blame two of them. They are living like housemates in the same house and doing their thing separately. Your dad earns 400k yet he allows her handle most if the needs. She also feels betrayed. She is taking trips without telling him and buying cars.
His own money is used for only what he knows.

Couples fight and disagree but their vows are supposed to be at the back of their minds...their love for each other. I dont think they want to be married. They want different things and are not willing to come together to achieve it. You cannot force them. You can only pray for them.

how

leave them alone Bro.

Face your life and avoid a woman like Mumc.

Stop interfering in the life of 2 adults, it is none of your business
since you have your own future ahead of you.

If they are tired of the union, they will both agree to call it quit.

It is not pride for a woman to be financially independent, neither is it pride
for her to flaunt materials that she acquired herself.

If you had been left to fend for yourself, you would have appreciated the
sacrifice been made by your mother.

There are lot of hypocritical husbands who will contribute nothing to the household
but demand to be consulted before any decision is taken, even trivial ones

The union is already destroyed...too late to cry over spilt milk

Humility is a virtue. Your dad probably transfer to go b with d younger lady that gives him peace of mind and respect. 400k monthly try na, how come no car?

BrotherJesu:


his excuse for non accountability is his demanding family and i hope deh all die dis night

Maybe your Dad hired Spyder880 to secretly build a mansion in the village for you guys and was going to surprise your mum.

Well, the side chick and your step sibling will live in there now.

AFONAMARO:




She equally buying a car and making the whole neighbourhood know is her personal belonging as well as the church, is not enough punishment shey?

The woman did nothing wrong, it is not a crime to flaunt your possession
just because an egotistical man will not be happy.

Women are to be seen and heard, not relegated to the background!

You can not really do anything, when a woman gets to the stage of I dont give a damn, just forget, she is the only one that can save her self. I will be surprised if she is not already seeing another man... well i do not expect you to mention this.

The problem started the day your dad left 80% of his responsibility for your mom....no woman will give her husband his due respect if she is left with responsibilities they are both supposed to share. This marriage is gone

tosyne2much:
OP, I guess you're not matured yet. When things like this are happening in the family, it is the duty of the children to dissociate themselves from their mom so that she will know what she's doing is very wrong.

If I were the one, I would turn my back against my mum and will ever receive any yeye car from her.

Na long throat. Most kids will side with d successful parent. The op has been bribed with a car na