[size=14pt]Cheating: A Nigerian Man’s Passtime[/size]
Posted To The Web: Monday, March 01, 2010 - OnlineNigeria




Ok, I've had the opportunity, I guess you can say, to see this behavior in Nigerian men who are in committed relationships, and Nigerian men who are married, and it just amazes me how effortlessly these men disrespect the women in their lives. What I don't get is this: what is the obsession in having more than one woman in your life? Does it give you some sense of accomplishment? As in, have you truly HARRIVED if you have a wife and 2-3 girlfriends on the side? Be it Sunday the local molue driver, or Chief Something-or-Another, our men seem to find pleasure in having the attention of women other than their significant others.

[b]True story: Myself and a couple of friends went out to a party in NY and we ended up meeting a guy friend of ours at the lounge (for the sake of saving their identity, his name is Seun). He happened to be there with one of his older friends who we'll call Kola. As the night goes on we're dancing, laughing, and we start thinking that the guy might actually be pretty cool. Mehn, as in, things just change towards the end of the night. We started noticing that he's focused some serious attention on one of our friends (Lara) who by the look on her face truely couldn't be interested in him. This was clear to EVERYONE else but Kola.

Lara was yawning, rolling her eyes, looking off into the distance as the guy was talking the whole time, checking out other guys that were walking past them. But out of respect and not wanting to embarass the guy, she's not disrespecting him like she would do some young guy that was yanning dust because Kola is truely old enough to be our Uncle. I know, I know, why does his age matter??. But you have to admit, naija culture and respect can be a little confusing. The guy is like dancing with her by force, holding her hand by force, not giving her an inch to even walk away. We all know that there is no way we're not going to collect the gist of the arrant nonsense he was probably spitting in her ear when we went home, so the rest of us were just giving them the space without being too far away. [/b]

As we're all leaving, the guy is feeling very very familiar with all of us because he's holding our hands, laughing and joking like he didn't just meet us 3 hours ago. Fast forward to us getting home. Lara tells us that dude was macking HARD!! Saying how he wants to fly her out to Nigeria 6 times a year, buy her whatever she wants, shopping this shopping that! She should even give him her account number and he'll just be depositing money in it whenever she needed!.

If it was some JJC babe she would have just swooned for him. He put his best game out there. But she's 23 years old, and wasn't falling for that speech. She even joked about just taking him up on the shopping offer and maxing out his cards just to show him that a man his age shouldn't be rubbing and touching on a woman that isn't his girlfriend or wife. But I guess she never went through with it because none of us got our portion of that shopping spree. LOL. Fast forward again to about 2-3 weeks later. I guess they realized Kola was on one of these social networking sites and they decided to check out his pictures. Tell me why this idiot of a man was actually in town with his WIFE HAD JUST GIVEN BIRTH!!!! Can you freaking imagine






Thats the kind of situation I'm talking about. If Lara had actually been one of those females that enjoyed milking guys for what they were worth, Kola would have kindly obliged and probably in exchange for something more than just conversation. It just makes me wonder why our men feel the need to deal with so many different women at once? The grown ass man clearly wasn't finding it difficult to get women since he was married with children. So why the infidelity? I know our culture allows such behaviors due to our polygamous past, but they at least made you marry the other woman even if she was just a concubine at the end of the day. Nowadays so-called Christian men take part in these activities and have numerous females in London, Nigeria, and the States. They literally have women on their payroll by giving them monthly allowances and etc. Or they have completely separate families who are unknown to each other. Its appalling because most times, the women that are their wives are usually ok with this, until one of those young girls gets pregnant or something.

Do you think it will ever stop being such a norm in our society? Who is more at fault, the men for doing it, the wives for turning a blind eye to it, or society for not speaking up when they see such indecencies are taking place in their surroundings?? As nosey as naijas are about other peoples business, aren't we in a way enabling these men to continue being the way they are by not denoucing their behavior?

http://news.onlinenigeria.com/templates/?a=16476&z=10

Ok.

I find that the women that turn a blind eye to such behaviour are usually women who are dependent on the man. in most cases.

No woman turns a blind eye to it. These women condone it.
Do not imagine that financial independence is the key word here. Women can be dependent in so many immaterial ways.
If you want to get married and work out of each marriage, where the guy cheats, you may get married more times than you have fingers and toes. That is if you are not blessed with one of the rare few men.
It is not easy to work out of a marriage, especially not when living in Nigeria.

no govt sponsored social security or welfare package in nigeria as obtains overseas, therefore the men take up that role.


the women are also being employed hence the monthly allowance.

Its ok, its healthy and its fun. Variety is the spice of life. (playing devils advocate here)

I blame the married women who commit adultery with these men.

I blame the single women who date these married men not considering that some day, they too will be married and cheated on by their husbands.

No woman in her right senses will know her husband cheats and keep quiet about it, she may not make trouble for some reasons but she definitely can't be happy with it.

Forget about the men, they can't control themselves. It's the women who whine about men's unfaithfulness, as if the men commit the atrocity with themselves. Isn't it women who indulge them?

zayhal:

I blame the married women who commit adultery with these men.

I blame the single women who date these married men not considering that some day, they too will be married and cheated on by their husbands.

No woman in her right senses will know her husband cheats and keep quiet about it, she may not make trouble for some reasons but she definitely can't be happy with it.

Forget about the men, they can't control themselves. It's the women who whine about men's unfaithfulness, as if the men commit the atrocity with themselves. Isn't it women who indulge them?

You didn't not appropriate any blame to adulterous women.

Aloy+Emeka:

You didn't not appropriate any blame to adulterous women.

Read my post again. the first line treats that.

Its a very simple tin.we have a very wicked n stoopid culture in nigeria.if a man is caught or found wantin 4 marital infidelity evry1 (includin his wife wil kip quiet if nt indirectly encourage him) lyk there's notin new bout it.infact if d wife goes 2 report 2 his family they'l say 'and so' is he d 1st or last 2 do it,even if he got a lady preg he'l do bone face n bring in d child 'as d head of dis house' bt if d woman is d 1 dat brot anoda man pregnancy (even wen d man is impotent) al hel wil b let loose.or if she's datin anoda man.2 wosen d situation dis old women we av dis days r deceptiv.wen dey c some1 buyin clothes,wraper n jwelry 4 dem dey wont say d trut n dey wont cal dia sons 2 oda.even dis single ladis sef dey av isues u pray 4 'a gud huby' or ur own huby yet u feel com4table datin/sleepin wit a marid man n u tink d same wont hapen 2 u wen u get marid.dis tins bcom a vicious cycle.d sumry of it is dat u cant date a marid man n expect dat u'l av ur huby al 2 ursef n as 4 d man u r just mesin wit ur old age.wen al d gal friends go,d same wife u treated lyk sht wil b d same u'l liv wit n u'l b at ha mercy as 4 d inlaws dey'l al av bin gone

See bad belle o? Instead of praising the Nigerian man for his sxual prowess, you people are looking for every opportunity to make his kiniko limp? Why shouldnt they enjoy like other animals, how many lionesses does a strong lion have in his bedroom, sorry bush?

Dude, I speak for myself, the act of cheating on your spouse has different roots other than sexual prowess and lust. it may even be occultic

lagerwhenindoubt:

Dude, I speak for myself, the act of cheating on your spouse has different roots other than sexual prowess and lust. it may even be occultic

There we go again, occultic? Pls arrange some lager, you are clearly in doubt.

yes, it can have an occultic root.