As in ehh, dis tribal hate came 4rm parents down to dis generation

Gracesofar:


Wah seriously wah do u HV against Yoruba pple. Hmmmmm. Nawa o

Gracesofar:



Seriously jokes apart, I dnt wanna experience that man again. I can't stand insults and I'd rather avoid trouble than start with someone I love her daughter.........


The way he spoke that day z enough for me to get annoyed and if not on the ground it was and as per he's elderly. The man won't forget my name. But. That man. I gotta just avoid him

does that means forgeting about the gel too. seriously u ve got to take in anything that comes ur way if expect to achieve some certain tinz in life. the gel do be expecting u to do something about it. u cant just give up on a gel u love just cus her dad hate ur tribe. she do see u as a coward for doing that to her. u think it easy to find a honest sincere gel after dumbing her, u have to endure it, believe me he will come around someday.

Ladyjumong:
does that means forgeting about the gel too. seriously u ve got to take in anything that comes ur way if expect to achieve some certain tinz in life. the gel do be expecting u to do something about it. u cant just give up on a gel u love just cus her dad hate ur tribe. she do see u as a coward for doing that to her. u think it easy to find a honest sincere gel after dumbing her, u have to endure it, believe me he will come around someday.

Hmmmm....... Dz quite like it though. Buh every man has a breaking point. Dunno about u buh my kind of person do ruminate over past words. Even my mum knows it. I dnt know y buh many a times those words just do keep coming back to me and I do think about it so well........

Its worth enduring coz Ada is just too much for me to handle she's so perfect to me and a relationship of over 4 years ain't just a child play

TINALETC3:
As in ehh, dis tribal hate came 4rm parents down to dis generation

But y? Like we r all human tribe and ego apart....... Its just so unfortunate the hating

Gracesofar:



Hmmmm....... Dz quite like it though. Buh every man has a breaking point. Dunno about u buh my kind of person do ruminate over past words. Even my mum knows it. I dnt know y buh many a times those words just do keep coming back to me and I do think about it so well........

Its worth enduring coz Ada is just too much for me to handle she's so perfect to me and a relationship of over 4 years ain't just a child play

yeah meeting a new gel is gonna be something else. fight for the one have. dnt let a certain trait in u take control of u thereby making u lose to something precious to u.

Op pull out. This country is not one I swear. A friend of mine from the East wanted to marry a Yoruba lady . But the girl's dad was telling my guy how the igbos are bad , dealing in drugs and all manner of crap. But this same man married 2 women. One in the village the other one in ibadan. For me I consider myself a Nigerian before my tribe.

Ladyjumong:
yeah meeting a new gel is gonna be something else. fight for the one have. dnt let a certain trait in u take control of u thereby making u lose to something precious to u.

Tnx lady jumong......... U r d best

muller101:
Op pull out. This country is not one I swear. A friend of mine from the East wanted to marry a Yoruba lady . But the girl's dad was telling my guy how the igbos are bad , dealing in drugs and all manner of crap. But this same man married 2 women. One in the village the other one in ibadan. For me I consider myself a Nigerian before my tribe.

Buro uba toor. Buh I guess d country z worth dying for. Even if we ain't one thru to the tribe been so versatile

Gracesofar:

Tnx lady jumong......... U r d best

I thought soldiers are men, bro gather morale work this out. She's yours and don't be afraid because an ordinary man is depriving you of what you want. Everything dey your hand soldier

Op I think you are overreacting... And you should stop taking words so seriously.


Lemme give you an expo 'IGNORE HIM' dont try to argue and laugh more at his tribalistic slurs.


Thank me later

Ladyjumong:

U too dey talk!

ShyCypher:



U too dey talk!

for ur mind nah u dey beat me

person only child....you won't understand

Point 1 is that 60% of everything the man said is true, he have witnessed many that's why he's certain in his speech


All u need to do is just keep the communication going in between the mother n daughter.

They are the one to change the mans ideology but I don't see the man allowing his only daughter marry a Yoruba

Ladyjumong:

for ur mind nah u dey beat me

I go flog u

ShyCypher:


I go flog u

na u flog pass
Nwa teacher

Ladyjumong:
na u flog pass
Nwa teacher

Yes.
If pankere no work, I switch 2 koboko

ShyCypher:


Yes.
If pankere no work, I switch 2 koboko

obu so

Ladyjumong:
obu so

Which one do u prefer?

ShyCypher:



Which one do u prefer?

Op if the truth must be told,u caused it. First u don't go to somebody's compound Nd park ur car in the only available car park left,that' shows u were arrogant ( don't blame u thou.it was ur first car)Secondly u tried to argue with him when he was saying all those rubbish,u should ve only said am sorry sir Nd kept quiet. But all ope is not lost,try to go back there,talk to his wife Nd ur gf,establish a r/ ship with him Nd let him see who u really re. Just win ur gf Nd her mum to urside Nd u re good to go.

nuggarito:
I thought soldiers are men, bro gather morale work this out. She's yours and don't be afraid because an ordinary man is depriving you of what you want. Everything dey your hand soldier

Soldiers are men. Am trained with fire arms not with matters regarding the heart. Wud HV expected the military to issue me a wife. Probably sign one from the armoury just like I sign the gun. Buh since dz not it......... Hmmmm with gun I might be a soldier buh with matters relating to hrt bro am one damn clowny novice

Young03:
person only child....you won't understand

Point 1 is that 60% of everything the man said is true, he have witnessed many that's why he's certain in his speech


All u need to do is just keep the communication going in between the mother n daughter.

They are the one to change the mans ideology but I don't see the man allowing his only daughter marry a Yoruba

Dunno bout ur school of thought. But to me, a man dnt need to be Igbo Hausa or Yoruba to have one form of bad habit. I once watched a movie which changed my ideology about life and wef that day I stopped judging pple based on their tribe or religion. D movie is titled my name z khan. There was a part where the mum drew a man giving him Lilli pop and another holding a cane and she asked who z a Muslim etc. D bottom line I learnt from the movie is. Religion apart or tribe. There are two types of pple in this world. The good pple and the bad ones. I dnt need to be a Yoruba to be a wife beater or serial cheater. Neither do I need to be a Igbo man to be involved in drugs.


I love the girl alot

JONNYSPUTE:
Op if the truth must be told,u caused it. First u don't go to somebody's compound Nd park ur car in the only available car park left,that' shows u were arrogant ( don't blame u thou.it was ur first car)Secondly u tried to argue with him when he was saying all those rubbish,u should ve only said am sorry sir Nd kept quiet. But all ope is not lost,try to go back there,talk to his wife Nd ur gf,establish a r/ ship with him Nd let him see who u really re. Just win ur gf Nd her mum to urside Nd u re good to go.

I didn't park in the car park the house is a flat and there were like 3 cars already inside. I just entered and find a convenient place I can navigate a reverse outside and apart I dnt know d man z not in. And apart I didn't talk back at him. It was a discussion and the only tin I said was u dnt need to be Yoruba to be a wifebeater. And he came to the rescue of his tribe that no IGbo man can beat z wife. Am not arrongant dnt get the wrong perspective about me. Am d type that most pple didnt know anytin about my career until my pop iv came out.

TheRealestGuy:


This adds to many confirmations I've had that Igbo girls remain the hottest cake in Nigerian marital circles.

The only person that can convince her dad is your babe. You not contacting her is foolish cos she'll even start doubting if you're man enough to do the needful.

Also, wanting to start life at 24 is a bit too early to me and the babe is still in school, why not let her graduate?

Never be in too much hurry in life and don't think you can't meet someone as lovely as your current babe.

Get to work, give her family some space but keep the relationship going. It's your persistence with her when the family is ready to give her out that'll make her insist on having you as her husband no matter what.




PS: truth is even three of my close friends are Yoruba and all of their homes are broken. It seems many yorubas do not attach so much value to family as much as Igbos so don't blame that man okay? If not that I've developed myself mentally and emotionally to see beyond tribe, it'll be hard to convince me that Yorubas actually take marriage and family values seriously.


My two cents bro.

You made lot of sense but keeping his distance from her family will seem he isn't serious. The girl's father was only being a father and father in-laws don't immediately embrace their son in-laws on first meetings. Op will have to earn her father's affection by consistent visitation and how well his daughter is treated. When he sense seriousness in the guy he'll give his bleesings. Again, it's not as if the op intends marring now so as a man whose daughter is still young and has all the time, he may be guiding her.

From the op's narrative there's also an undertone of a tribalist 'cause of how he described Igbo men.

Gracesofar:


I didn't park in the car park the house is a flat and there were like 3 cars already inside. I just entered and find a convenient place I can navigate a reverse outside and apart I dnt know d man z not in. And apart I didn't talk back at him. It was a discussion and the only tin I said was u dnt need to be Yoruba to be a wifebeater. And he came to the rescue of his tribe that no IGbo man can beat z wife. Am not arrongant dnt get the wrong perspective about me. Am d type that most pple didnt know anytin about my career until my pop iv came out.

. . Now I get u. Just try Nd win ur gf Nd her mum on urside. U shouldn't ve stop stopped communicating with ur gf. But try Nd get in touch with her Nd sort things out. If truly she loves u,she can convince her dad. Pray also so that God can melt his heart. Gudluck bro.

kimbraa:
You made lot of sense but keeping his distance from her family will seem he isn't serious. The girl's father was only being a father and father in-laws don't immediately embrace their son in-laws on first meetings. Op will have to earn her father's affection by consistent visitation and how well his daughter is treated. When he sense seriousness in the guy he'll give his bleesings. Again, it's not as if the op intends marring now so as a man whose daughter is still young and has all the time, he may be guiding her.

From the op's narration there's also an undertone of a tribalist 'cause how he described Igbo men.

Sorry if I sound like a tribalist am not one... Am a loyal Nigerian who might give his life anytime for the dear country I embraced and vow to serve. My best friends HV been Hausa's and even in the academy just my name was Yoruba. Most pple thinks am Igbo. And sweetheart. I speak all the 3 Nigerian languages well enough. Although not so soundly. Hope HV cleared ur mmind? Tnx for ur contribution.

OP, I took my time to read your post word for word, and as an Igbo guy that I am, I would try to give you the best advice I can.

Firstly to be objective, the tribalism that exists between these two tribes shouldn't be written off, but while some of us became enlightened and educated and see beyond ethnicity, others would find it very hard, most of my tribesmen see Yoruba's as weak, lazy, cowards, Women beaters, yahoo yahoo (It's a perception which doesn't define the whole Yoruba people) and all that. Their opinions may be built on personal experiences but most of the times, just some hear say stories.

Coming to this your case, Ada is the first and only daughter of the man, you wouldn't blame him much going by the perception I had explained earlier. He wouldn't want to see his only daughter suffer, he is very insecure and afraid of uncertainties, he had already envisaged how he would hand over his lovely daughter to a well deserved Igbo man, how the traditional wedding and all our cultural rights would be made, so he wasn't happy atall, he would obviously reprimand the daughter about trying to bring shame to the family and lineage, trust me I know all these.

My family was once entangled in this same scenario when my cousin sister found love outside our tribe, every trial to convince her fell on deaf ears, her parents were all sad, they viewed it as selling off their pretty daughter, but the girl insisted and the man himself showed commitments and promised to treat her well, after everything said and done, they are happily married today. Some men are autocratic though, but with the help of the mother and girl (If she loves you wella) and your show of commitments, things could change.

Don't listen to people who tell you to leave her, I perfectly understand your story and I'm affirmative that things could change if you truly love her and she does too, call her, sit her down and reinstate your love and commitment to her, it wouldn't be an easy ride, but stand your ground and be confident, you guys would definitely tell your stories someday if the marriage is successful and it would help to salvage this tribal situation amongst these two great tribes. Try winning her mom and other family members over, her dad may be sad and resilient at first but would fall back to accept when he sees every other person has accepted adding to the commitment you show.

It's a good thing you didn't tell your mom, atimes we get to fight for the one we love, all the best brother and congratulations! don't forget to invite me when the time comes, treat my sister well o

Gracesofar:


Sorry if I sound like a tribalist am not one... Am a loyal Nigerian who might give his life anytime for the dear country I embraced and vow to serve. My best friends HV been Hausa's and even in the academy just my name was Yoruba. Most pple thinks am Igbo. And sweetheart. I speak all the 3 Nigerian languages well enough. Although not so soundly. Hope HV cleared ur mmind? Tnx for ur contribution.

You often used "You know Igbo men, or trust Igbo men" If I may ask, what are Igbo men like?. This is the 'Tribalistic' undertone I sensed in your narrative. That being said, nothing good comes easily. If you truly love her, you've got to prove that by being patient with her father. Since she's an only child, and too young for that matter, he'd give any man that comes headache first.

kimbraa:
You often used "You know Igbo men, or trust Igbo men" If I may ask, what are Igbo men like?. This is the 'Tribalistic' undertone I sensed in your narrative. That being said, nothing good comes easily. If you truly love her, you've got to prove that by being patient with her father. Since she's an only child, and too young for that matter, he'd give any man that comes headache first.

Now I get ur point about the tribal undertone u spoke of. Point noted. Am sorry about that though.

And tnx for the addition all dsame

Marcelo290:
OP, I took my time to read your post word for word, and as an Igbo guy that I am, I would try to give you the best advice I can.

Firstly to be objective, the tribalism that exists between these two tribes shouldn't be written off, but while some of us became enlightened and educated and see beyond ethnicity, others would find it very hard, most of my tribesmen see Yoruba's as weak, lazy, cowards, Women beaters, yahoo yahoo (It's a perception which doesn't define the whole Yoruba people) and all that. Their opinions may be built on personal experiences but most of the times, just some hear say stories.

Coming to this your case, Ada is the first and only daughter of the man, you wouldn't blame him much going by the perception I had explained earlier. He wouldn't want to see his only daughter suffer, he is very insecure and afraid of uncertainties, he had already envisaged how he would hand over his lovely daughter to a well deserved Igbo man, how the traditional wedding and all our cultural rights would be made, so he wasn't happy atall, he would obviously reprimand the daughter about trying to bring shame to the family and lineage, trust me I know all these.

My family was once entangled in this same scenario when my cousin sister found love outside our tribe, every trial to convince her fell on deaf ears, her parents were all sad, they viewed it as selling off their pretty daughter, but the girl insisted and the man himself showed commitments and promised to treat her well, after everything said and done, they are happily married today. Some men are autocratic though, but with the help of the mother and girl (If she loves you wella) and your show of commitments, things could change.

Don't listen to people who tell you to leave her, I perfectly understand your story and I'm affirmative that things could change if you truly love her and she does too, call her, sit her down and reinstate your love and commitment to her, it wouldn't be an easy ride, but stand your ground and be confident, you guys would definitely tell your stories someday if the marriage is successful and it would help to salvage this tribal situation amongst these two great tribes. Try winning her mom and other family members over, her dad may be sad and resilient at first but would fall back to accept when he sees every other person has accepted adding to the commitment you show.

It's a good thing you didn't tell your mom, atimes we get to fight for the one we love, all the best brother and congratulations! don't forget to invite me when the time comes, treat my sister well o

Bro u did well am so glad about ur comment. Shows how concerned u r. Sure am treating ur sister well o. If not a very beautiful girl with many admirers won't stay with me for 4 years +. And tnx for the tip u added about Igbo's and their cultural heritage they uplift. Will find way and update of the fathers rxn.


Tnx again for ur contribution I appreciate.

@op, I feel ur pain, from everything I gather this ur Ada is such a wonderful girl, young prospective doctor with potential, my guess is she must be very beautiful, I need a favor man, am looking for a girl with charisma like this one to marry, am a young bachelor, very serious.... Pls i Beg u can u give me her number so that we can hook up, oh am igbo... I won't have that problem with her bigoted father.... Thanks... GOD will bless u