Hello fellow nairalanders, pls advise needed on this issue.

My bf and I have been together for a while now and planning on having our marriage introduction by November and marriage proper early next year.

Im an independent woman with a gud job. As a matter of fact, ive never made any financial request from this guy though he buys gift for me without requesting. He is doing well financially too, he runs a recycling factory while I work with a manufacturing company.

Things are working well between us since the relationship started untill recently when we had some business deals together ( my opinion though) cos I don't understand him anymore. He was broke at that time and needed to get some materials which he never budgeted for. He requested that I invest in his company by paying for those materials since they're coming cheap and he doesn't have enough to get them at that time and wouldn't want to loose the opportunity. I consented to the idea cos I knew he's business was very lucrative and that I'll get my money back with interest. He promised to be paying me a weekly dividend so I thought of giving 1 million naira. I made an instant transfer of 500k to his account as dts the maximum I can do daily without a token and I wasn't with it then.

The 2nd day dt I was suppose to send the remaining money, some issues occurred in his company in my presence. He had some major issues with some of the equipments in his factory. He had to stop productions for some days. So i with held the balance as it wont be neccesary since there was no production.While repairs were ongoing? I had to liase with some of my junior colleagues at work who are engineers to help my bf cos I found out he's engineer's aren't capable of handling the situation as dts the first time he would experience such. As God will have it operations started back in few days with the support of my engineers.

My concern now is since things went back to normal in my bf compan' he's yet to keep to his promise of the weekly dividend he said I would be receiving from the investment. As a matter of fact , things has changed between us cos he no longer call and hardly pick my calls. I communicate with him mostly thru SMS now since he wouldn't pick my calls. I'd sent messages to him to return my money without interest and he has promised to pay back with no time and date of when he's going to pay back. I even had plans of going to his place today since im off work so as to force him to go to the bank with him so DT I can get my money but he left the house early in the morning with excuses that he has a place to go and would return to my place after leaving there.

Pls guys how best can I get this money back from him cos I know he has it but playing pranks on me. I don't mind loosing my relationship with him as I don't trust him any longer.

You said he is your fiance and you guys are planning for marriage
you borrowed him some money to help in revitalising his company.
Now the question is have you asked him how business is moving? he maybe having some problems...
You are all after ur money not knowing that after ur marriage with him the company is also urs
.
.
Now see what you are going to do...
Stop talking about ur money for now and try to know how the business is going.
Build the love again
Focus on your marriage
.
After marriage then you can skin him alive if you want.
.
.
Modified:
With the mentions and likes i am getting, I never knew i am such a good adviser...
I think i have discovered my talent
.
ekrizz come i think we need to open an office for marriage and relationship councelling...
work done start

Not yet Sis.Give him sometime,probably like 3months.

Don't be in a rush to suspect him. After all, you guys are dating or isn't there love in the relationship. Just look for a way to talk to him on a neutral level without any element of suspicion or anger. Ask him to open up to you what the real problem is and what is holding him back from paying you. You will get a lead of wat to do from them. Most people will put fear in your mind or won't give u a good advice but then try my suggestion and see progress. Don't start with violence, especially to someone you have been intimate with .
My one cent

Immee:
Hello fellow nairalanders, pls advise needed on this issue.

My bf and I have been together for a while now and planning on having our marriage introduction by November and marriage proper early next year.

Im an independent woman with a gud job. As a matter of fact, ive never made any financial request from this guy though he buys gift for me without requesting. He is doing well financially too, he runs a recycling factory while I work with a manufacturing company.

Things are working well between us since the relationship started untill recently when we had some business deals together ( my opinion though) cos I don't understand him anymore. He was broke at that time and needed to get some materials which he never budgeted for. He requested that I invest in his company by paying for those materials since they're coming cheap and he doesn't have enough to get them at that time and wouldn't want to loose the opportunity. I consented to the idea cos I knew he's business was very lucrative and that I'll get my money back with interest. He promised to be paying me a weekly dividend so I thought of giving 1 million naira. I made an instant transfer of 500k to his account as dts the maximum I can do daily without a token and I wasn't with it then.

The 2nd day dt I was suppose to send the remaining money, some issues occurred in his company in my presence. He had some major issues with some of the equipments in his factory. He had to stop productions for some days. So i with held the balance as it wont be neccesary since there was no production.While repairs were ongoing? I had to liase with some of my junior colleagues at work who are engineers to help my bf cos I found out he's engineer's aren't capable of handling the situation as dts the first time he would experience such. As God will have it operations started back in few days with the support of my engineers.

My concern now is since things went back to normal in my bf compan' he's yet to keep to his promise of the weekly dividend he said I would be receiving from the investment. As a matter of fact , things has changed between us cos he no longer call and hardly pick my calls. I communicate with him mostly thru SMS now since he wouldn't pick my calls. I'd sent messages to him to return my money without interest and he has promised to pay back with no time and date of when he's going to pay back. I even had plans of going to his place today since im off work so as to force him to go to the bank with him so DT I can get my money but he left the house early in the morning with excuses that he has a place to go and would return to my place after leaving there.

Pls guys how best can I get this money back from him cos I know he has it but playing pranks on me. I don't mind loosing my relationship with him as I don't trust him any longer.

You are a callous and wicked person.

You aren't even sure if he's broken even, you're not trying to be supportive, you're not even giving him a few weeks to stabilize after some production problems. All you're after is your miserly 500k that you lent to him.

You don't ever deserve to be married cos your type will turn to Jezebel if your hubby ever has financial issues.

If he wanted to scam you, will it be 500K, don't you know he'll be looking for a way to get more?

I pray for that guy that he doesn't marry you cos you will make his life miserable if he ever has financial problems.



Funny thing is that most of y'all women are like this, always quick to collect everything possible but when it comes to giving it's a problem.

I hope you fall into wrong hands that will teach you a lesson of your life since you can't be supportive of your to be husband.

All the harshness was duly intended and I exercised restraint not to call you names.

MODIFIED: So many people quoting me to say nonsense, many of them ladies too.

The truth is often a bitter pill to swallow. Pray tell, if she cannot be understanding and supportive of her fiance, then what will happen if they get married and he encounters financial difficulties at a time?

Ladies, please and please, shun this mentality of "my money is my money, his money is our money." It is absolutely devilish and has no place in courtship or marriage. Little wonder marriages seem to be crashing like kites these days.

The guy is obviously dodging her calls cos he's not fully back on his feet to repay the loan, the statement she made that he's back in business is only from her own view of things and we all know entrepreneurs face a lot of business challenges that one cannot even begin to name here.

If something as basic and important as empathy, understanding and patience with your man in times of trouble is too hard for her to practice in a relationship headed for the alter, then she has absolutely no business getting married.

I'm this harsh on her cos she actually confirmed they would start marriage rites by November.

Absolutely no apologies for that.

Kudos to the guys that understand my post for what it really is.

i dont think you were duped, maybe he doesnt have the cash now and dont know how to explain to you but next time before any transaction, have a sort of written agreement

I'm sure u did not read well. He's not broke. Things are well with him now. My suspicion came in when he reluctantly picks my call. He hardly calls again and I communicate with him now mostly tru SMS.

You are a callous and wicked person.

You aren't even sure if he's broken even, you're not trying to be supportive, you're not even giving him a few weeks to stabilize after some production problems. All you're after is your miserly 500k that you lent to him.

You don't ever deserve to be married cos your type will turn to Jezebel if your hubby ever has financial issues.

If he wanted to scam you, will it be 500K, don't you know he'll be looking for a way to get more?

I pray for that guy that he doesn't marry you cos you will make his life miserable if he ever has financial problems.



Funny thing is that most of y'all women are like this, always quick to collect everything possible but when it comes to giving it's a problem.

I hope you fall into wrong hands that will teach you a lesson of your life since you can't be supportive of your to be husband.

All the harshness was duly intended and I exercised restraint not to call you names.

[/quote]

TheRealestGuy:


You are a callous and wicked person.

You aren't even sure if he's broken even, you're not trying to be supportive, you're not even giving him a few weeks to stabilize after some production problems. All you're after is your miserly 500k that you lent to him.

You don't ever deserve to be married cos your type will turn to Jezebel if your hubby ever has financial issues.

If he wanted to scam you, will it be 500K, don't you know he'll be looking for a way to get more?

I pray for that guy that he doesn't marry you cos you will make his life miserable if he ever has financial problems.



Funny thing is that most of y'all women are like this, always quick to collect everything possible but when it comes to giving it's a problem.

I hope you fall into wrong hands that will teach you a lesson of your life since you can't be supportive of your to be husband.

All the harshness was duly intended and I exercised restraint not to call you names.

Is your brain paining u? u cant even praise her for giving him in the first place.
issues like this is why girls don't give guys financial support until they are rightfully married.
if she has lost her trust in him, then don't blame her, something caused it

My dear, u made a mistake don't loan out any money to a loved one unless u can overlook the money.
First thing, get to know the true financial position of the business
if it is doing well, then pet him till u get your money or he marry u whichever comes first.
but handle it with care

Your story get as it be

Well
I reckon you shouldn't have mixed business with pleasure in the first place

My major concern now is to understand the motivation for getting your money back

Are you straining to get your money back because you feel he has broken even?
or
Do you want your money because you think he is no longer interested in you?

Frankly though, from what I can deduct from your story I believe you want your money back because you feel he is no longer interested in you.
Therefore, it seems like you are still mixing business with pleasure just like when you gave him the money initially

I will advice you to step back for a minute and make proper decisions on your finances without attaching emotional sentiment. I believe that will be the solution to your problem.

chynie:

Is your brain paining u? u cant even praise her for giving him in the first place.
issues like this is why girls don't give guys financial support until they are rightfully married.
if she has lost her trust in him, then don't blame her, something caused it

While I would blame the guy for going back on his promise or not explaining things to the supposed spouse and also not blame the girl in any way,generalizing and turning it into a reason why women don't or should not support their partners before marriage is wrong, i don't understand our definition of relationships these days, It's supposed to also involve helping ur partners growth in any way possible,if you have enough and can help ur partner....do,without wanting anything in return, if you do not have enough to help fine.We really need to stop this whole I will help you if I am assured of ur help in the future kind of relationship.. .maybe we should start telling each other"I trade you" instead of "I love you" ....that is a more honest description of our present day relationships.

VERDA:


While I would blame the guy for going back on his promise or not explaining things to the supposed spouse and also not blame the girl in any way,generalizing and turning it into a reason why women don't or should not support their partners before marriage is wrong, i don't understand our definition of relationships these days, It's supposed to also involve helping ur partners growth in any way possible,if you have enough and can help ur partner....do,without wanting anything in return, if you do not have enough to help fine.We really need to stop this whole I will help you if I am assured of ur help in the future kind of relationship.. .maybe we should start telling each other"I trade you" instead of "I love you" ....that is a more honest description of our present day relationships.

Don't mind that girl.

We guys sacrifice a whole lot for relationships and we don't make noise about it.

Obviously, the guy may be yet to fully bounce back from the losses he may have incurred from the production halt for a while and all the babe has been doing since she learnt he's back in production is ask for her money.

To all the men out there, this is a classic example of how many women think.

If you must borrow money, please avoid borrowing from a woman you're romantically involved with cos she'll rub it on your face and spite you if for any reason you don't pay back as agreed.

Erm...
Are u an Igbo girl? just kidding... but you do sound like one... I'm serious

Well, this guy , I don't feel he's headed to duping you.... He might still be stuck in the financial mess he ssked for yo help about initially...

So, why not invite him for dinner at some eat outs 'round town to hear his story after you might have got him relaxed?

As you may well know, life, relationships and whatever else we do dont go too smoothly as there are always gallops and downturns.. it takes a good friend to help one out in suvh trying times ... so, you could be of help if this is one of such for him...

All these I've been pressing on are based on assumptions of you not talking things over with him in an amicable kinda way to be sure of what is up.

If you have already done something about hearin him out anyway and everything is definitely pointing at foul play in one way or the other, my dear, get him to pay you back and dump his arse. Fullstop!

Immee:
Hello fellow nairalanders, pls advise needed on this issue.

My bf and I have been together for a while now and planning on having our marriage introduction by November and marriage proper early next year.

Im an independent woman with a gud job. As a matter of fact, ive never made any financial request from this guy though he buys gift for me without requesting. He is doing well financially too, he runs a recycling factory while I work with a manufacturing company.

Things are working well between us since the relationship started untill recently when we had some business deals together ( my opinion though) cos I don't understand him anymore. He was broke at that time and needed to get some materials which he never budgeted for. He requested that I invest in his company by paying for those materials since they're coming cheap and he doesn't have enough to get them at that time and wouldn't want to loose the opportunity. I consented to the idea cos I knew he's business was very lucrative and that I'll get my money back with interest. He promised to be paying me a weekly dividend so I thought of giving 1 million naira. I made an instant transfer of 500k to his account as dts the maximum I can do daily without a token and I wasn't with it then.

The 2nd day dt I was suppose to send the remaining money, some issues occurred in his company in my presence. He had some major issues with some of the equipments in his factory. He had to stop productions for some days. So i with held the balance as it wont be neccesary since there was no production.While repairs were ongoing? I had to liase with some of my junior colleagues at work who are engineers to help my bf cos I found out he's engineer's aren't capable of handling the situation as dts the first time he would experience such. As God will have it operations started back in few days with the support of my engineers.

My concern now is since things went back to normal in my bf compan' he's yet to keep to his promise of the weekly dividend he said I would be receiving from the investment. As a matter of fact , things has changed between us cos he no longer call and hardly pick my calls. I communicate with him mostly thru SMS now since he wouldn't pick my calls. I'd sent messages to him to return my money without interest and he has promised to pay back with no time and date of when he's going to pay back. I even had plans of going to his place today since im off work so as to force him to go to the bank with him so DT I can get my money but he left the house early in the morning with excuses that he has a place to go and would return to my place after leaving there.

Pls guys how best can I get this money back from him cos I know he has it but playing pranks on me. I don't mind loosing my relationship with him as I don't trust him any longer.

I don't think you love him.

So, he now scammed you of 500k.

He might have used the money to revive his company.

Why can't you give him like 1 - 2 months for him to stabilize his company.

Where do you want him to get a money that he doesn't have. That's wickedness na.

He might be afraid of talking to you because he is owning you some cash.

just imagine! her concern is more about getting back her mere 500k as against loosing a potential marital stable relationship. #shallow

but again the guy is stupid to break trust and loyalty over a mere 500k.without explaining to her the reason he can't meet up#stupid

so when shallow meets stupid then the relationship is dead on arrival.
u just try see him in person, give him time then involve a soldier friend before breaking off contact finally
I hate to see potential relationships like this break

My dear, if I understand you well, you gave him money few weeks ago.
The question I will ask you is, if he needs to solve the problem with a million naira, and you promised him such amount but ended up giving him 500K, have you found out if the half-help was enough to take him out of the problems? And i don't want you to be too money conscious, the truth is, you need to assess his present production status and if he's back to his feet.

My dear, if I understand you well, you gave him money few weeks ago.
The question I will ask you is, if he needs to solve the problem with a million naira, and you promised him such amount but ended up giving him 500K, have you found out if the half-help was enough to take him out of the problems? And i don't want you to be too money conscious, the truth is, you need to assess his present production status and if he's back to his feet.
Be a part of his problem, not just be all about getting your money back. He'll pay you back if you go through the process of healing in his production.
Like you mentioned, the business is lucrative and you were sure he has the personality to pay back your money. Try to find out what's wrong. Men tend to receded when broke or stressed. Be a friend indeed and in need, get to know.

As far as I'm concerned, you can't quickly conclude that the guy has duped you. Based on your former thread. it seems that you guys met less than a year(November 2016). Looking at it, you said that you are aware of his faulty machines and engineers at your work place also assists him to do some repairs.

He has his own flaws as well because no matter whatever, he should at least pick your calls & tell you what's happening.

But the guy didn't try on his part too, for those of you criticizing her but giving lame excuses for the guy are not being fair.

You have the guts to borrow money, not the guts to explain your position? How will she be able to trust him? At least you read where she said she hasn't taken a dime from her man, it shows she is responsible and not the materialistic person who only cares about money.

She worked hard for the money, helped him with it. But look what he did. Not picking her calls and not even feeling bothered to cool her temper. His show of gratitude would have gone a long way.

Let's try to show gratitude abeg, whether man or woman. We should show we appreciate.

Girl run for your life, that man doesn't deserve you. You have a giving heart and it's not bad to help your man when he is in need. His actions doesn't speak of someone worth trusting at all.

Find a way to talk to him to ascertain the reasons for his uncalled actions , if it proved abortive, count the money as a offering to him and move on with your life.

Guys chill. Its her money she has the right to react the way she wants especially with trust being an issue these days.

My dear, recent happenings have made me learn to give people the benefit of doubt. Make excuses for them. It really may not be what you think it is. From all indication everything that could wrong in the biz happened right before your eyes. You even proferred solution by bringing in ur own people. It wasnt planned if it was he would never have allowed that or you in.

Be patient with him. He knows you must be thinking the way you are right nw hence the refusal to speak with u. He sends text so you knw he means you no harm. Talk to him, give him time. YoU will get ur money back but please dont loose your sense ofunderstanding and maturity over it.

Thats business for you. Win some loose some. Welcome to his world baby. Show him you can handle when you eventually get together

BUT if he's shady you'll know when the time you've given him is up. His actions overtime will tell.

lalasticlala mydn44

I don't understand why people especially the men are just attacking her. What's the big deal about explaining to her what's going on? "Business isn't back to normal", TELL HER! "Please give me more time to pay back", TELL HER! "I dont have the money now but will have it soon", TELL HER! Don't just assume she's gonna look right through your mind and know what's going on.He's acting all weird and suspicious for crying out loud. Even if she wanted to give him more time & be more understanding(by hearing his own side), he's making it difficult for her. Why dodge her calls? She probably started feeling like this after a few weeks( not days as some of you insinuated) of not getting the weekly dividend HE PROMISED her. Besides, for those saying she's wicked & all, how come she was still willing to lend out 1 million(in this economy) to this same guy? From what she said, they are both doing well. So she was only trying to help. Same help that most of you here are abusing her for. I will never condemn her for helping out. She's my kind of woman (hardly asks but gives more sef). I don't believe relationships should be one-sided.

...my opinion though...

You don't mind loosing him and your well planned marriage, all you want is your MONEY.. Like seriously

dats weird to me though....

He refused to pick your calls because he knows u are always gonna request for your money whenever u call, not sitting him down to ask what d problem is.