Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Firstly:

It is essential to point out that bad behaviour in most cases is in accordance with a person’s whims and desires; hence the child will pick up bad behaviour with the slightest influence and the most insignificant of reasons. On the other hand, good behaviour means disciplining oneself and restraining oneself from whims and desires that detrimental to one’s own best interests. Good behaviour means following a path that is contrary to the whims and desires of the self, so it is a constructive process that requires effort and striving.

A sound upbringing is one that instils good attitude and behaviour firmly in the child’s heart and mind so that he will be able to resist corrupt whims and desires, and he will not feel comfortable except with things that help him adhere to the path of righteousness and will despise anything that is contrary to good values.

In order for the child to accept this good attitude and behaviour, it is essential to make that beloved to him. Love cannot be instilled by means of force and harshness; rather it needs the following:

1. Kindness and gentleness

There are a number of hadeeths in which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) teaches us to use kindness and gentleness when interacting with others, such as the following:

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah loves kindness in all things.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6024.

Muslim (2592) narrated from Jareer that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.”

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, narrating from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “There is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes it defective.”

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that she said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When Allah wills good for the members of a household, He instills kindness in them.”

Narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad, 40/488, no. 24427; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ as-Sagheer, no. 303

Children by their nature love the parent who is kind to them and helps them, and who cares about them, but that should be without yelling and getting angry, as much as possible; rather it should be with wisdom and patience.

The child is at an age where he needs leisure and play; he is also at an age where discipline and teaching are appropriate. Hence everything must be given due attention, within moderation.

Because children love kind parents, this love gives them a strong motivation to obey their parents. In the opposite scenario, if kindness is absent and there is violence and harshness, that will lead to alienation, which in turn will lead to stubbornness and disobedience, or the prevalence of fear which will generate an attitude of lying and deceitfulness in the child.

2. Kind treatment does not rule out the use of punishment when necessary,

But it should be noted that punishment, when bringing up children, must be used wisely. It is not right to punish the child for every misdemeanour on his part; rather punishment is to be used when kindness is of no benefit and when advice, instructions and bans have been to no avail.

Punishments should also be useful. For example, if you have the problem of your children spending a long time in front of the television, then you can dictate to them which programs they may watch, that will usually be beneficial and not harmful, and that are free of problematic material as much as possible. Then if they go beyond the stated time, you can punish them by depriving them of TV for an entire day. If they go beyond the stated time again, then you can deprive them of it for a longer period, according to whatever will achieve the aim and be of benefit in disciplining them.

3. Setting a good example

The parents must first of all adhere themselves to the attitude and behaviour that they are trying to instil in their children. For example, it is not appropriate for a father to forbid his child to smoke when he himself smokes.

Hence one of the early generations said to his children’s teacher: Let the first thing you do in setting my children straight be mending your own ways, for their faults will be connected to your faults; in their eyes, what is good will be what you do and what is bad will be what you refrain from. End quote.

Tareekh Dimashq, 38/271-272

4. A good environment

This is the environment in which doing good deeds is praised and the one who does them is respected, whereas bad deeds and those who do them are criticized. In current times this good environment is often lacking, but we can try hard, physically, psychologically and financially, to create it, in sha Allah.

For example, if a Muslim family is living in a neighbourhood where there are no other Muslim families, this family should try hard to move to a neighbourhood or city where there are a lot of Muslims, or to a neighbourhood where there are mosques or Islamic centres that are active in running programs for Muslim children.

For example, if a child is interested in a specific sport or other activity, the family could look for a suitable sports club or similar organisation run by committed Muslims, that is attended by Muslim families who are keen to give their children a good upbringing. Mixing plays a major role, as you say, so try to reduce the negative effects that you are seeing as a result of mixing, by mixing in a positive way with Muslim families.

If the father is spending on nice clothes, delicious food and a comfortable home, he should also spend on means of acquiring good attitude and behaviour, and let him seek reward for that with Allah, may He be exalted.

Secondly:

You have to offer du‘aa’ constantly, especially at times when supplications are answered, such as the last third of the night, when prostrating and on Fridays. Call upon Allah, may He be exalted, a great deal and ask Him to make your children righteous and guide them to the straight path. Supplications for their children is one of the characteristics of the righteous slaves of Allah. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who say: ‘Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqoon (pious)”

[al-Furqaan 25:74].

Shaykh ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan as-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “the comfort of our eyes” means a source of joy.

If we examine the situation and characteristics of the ones who offered this du‘aa’, we will realize, based on their qualities and high ranking, that they would not be content until they see their children obeying their Lord, knowledgeable and actively striving. As this is a supplication that their wives and children would follow the path of righteousness, it is also a supplication for themselves, because the benefit will come back to them too. Hence they regarded that as a gift to them and they said “Bestow on us (lit. give to us).” In fact their supplication brings benefit to all the Muslims, because the righteousness of those who are mentioned will bring about the righteousness of many of those who are connected to them, and will benefit them. End quote.

Tayseer al-Kareem al-Mannaan fi Tafseer Kalaam ar-Rahmaan, 587

Space booked at last

great

By telling dem 2 take Christians as their brothers and sisters
And they should do what's right


They shouldn't also kill 4 Muhammed

Religion is so intolerant ! Islam has been around for 1400 years yet the whole world is not Muslim but you see writeups like this that encourage segregating yourself and not mixing with other religions ! If Allah didn’t want multi - religious societies he should have made all of us Muslim ! Why take jobs from a Christian ? Or live with a Christian neighbor ? Stop raising kids to hate other people from other religions . That’s why terrorism is a problem .

Sumtin i still dont get is...is it still ryt to flog little kids ??

jazakumullahu Khaera

Pataricatering:
Religion is so intolerant ! Islam has been around for 1400 years yet the whole world is not Muslim but you see writeups like this that encourage segregating yourself and not mixing with other religions ! If Allah didn’t want multi - religious societies he should have made all of us Muslim ! Why take jobs from a Christian ? Or live with a Christian neighbor ? Stop raising kids to hate other people from other religions . That’s why terrorism is a problem .

Nothing in that write up condones or fosters hatred

lanrecisse30:
jazakumullahu Khaera

WA iyyaakun

Pataricatering:
Religion is so intolerant ! Islam has been around for 1400 years yet the whole world is not Muslim but you see writeups like this that encourage segregating yourself and not mixing with other religions ! If Allah didn’t want multi - religious societies he should have made all of us Muslim ! Why take jobs from a Christian ? Or live with a Christian neighbor ? Stop raising kids to hate other people from other religions . That’s why terrorism is a problem .

Are you sure you read the write up sincerely? Abi you just last proper understanding? I'm just asking not insult.

FSBoperator:

Why do u like terrorism like this. Pls don't die yet,

MUSLIMS SHOULD STOP TEACHING KIDS THAT PEOPLE OF OTHER RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS ARE THEIR ENEMIES .

Victornezzar:
By telling dem 2 take Christians as their brothers and sisters
And they should do what's right


They shouldn't also kill 4 Muhammed

Islam doesn't allow killing for Muhammed

FSBoperator:


why you like lie like this

Disprove it then.

FSBoperator:


why you like lie like this

That's the problem with you lot. If you know that Islam supports such acts why don't you give proof of it?

FSBoperator:


Sahih Bukhari (52:220) - Allah's Apostle said... 'I have been made victorious with terror'

Hadith

حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ بُكَيْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُقَيْلٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ الْمُسَيَّبِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏

‏ بُعِثْتُ بِجَوَامِعِ الْكَلِمِ، وَنُصِرْتُ بِالرُّعْبِ، فَبَيْنَا أَنَا نَائِمٌ أُتِيتُ بِمَفَاتِيحِ خَزَائِنِ الأَرْضِ، فَوُضِعَتْ فِي يَدِي ‏"

‏‏‏ قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ وَقَدْ ذَهَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَنْتُمْ تَنْتَثِلُونَهَا‏‏

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "I have been sent with the shortest expressions bearing the widest meanings, and I have been made victorious with terror (cast in the hearts of the enemy), and while I was sleeping, the keys of the treasures of the world were brought to me and put in my hand." Abu Huraira added: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) has left the world and now you, people, are bringing out those treasures (i.e. the Prophet did not benefit by them).



Sahih al-Bukhari 2977
In-book : Book 56, Hadith 186
USC-MSA web (English) : Vol. 4, Book 52, Hadith 220

By ensuring they do not turn out to become Islamic terrorists. By eradicating doctrines, that promote martyrdom (suicide) at the expense of the death of non-believers.
By promoting humanity and tolerance of other faiths.

FSBoperator:


Quran (2:191-193) - "And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out. And Al-Fitnah [disbelief or unrest] is worse than killing... but if they desist, then lo! Allah is forgiving and merciful. And fight them until there is no more Fitnah [disbelief and worshipping of others along with Allah] and worship is for Allah alone. But if they cease, let there be no transgression except against Az-Zalimun(the polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.)" (Translation is from the Noble Quran) The verse prior to this (190) refers to "fighting for the cause of Allah those who fight you" leading some to claim that the entire passage refers to a defensive war in which Muslims are defending their homes and families. The historical context of this passage is not defensive warfare, however, since Muhammad and his Muslims had just relocated to Medina and were not under attack by their Meccan adversaries. In fact, the verses urge offensive warfare, in that Muslims are to drive Meccans out of their own city (which they later did). Verse 190 thus means to fight those who offer resistance to Allah's rule (ie. Muslim conquest). The use of the word "persecution" by some Muslim translators is disingenuous - the actual Arabic words for persecution (idtihad) - and oppression are not used instead of fitna. Fitna can mean disbelief, or the disorder that results from unbelief or temptation. A strict translation is 'sedition,' meaning rebellion against authority (the authority being Allah). This is certainly what is meant in this context since the violence is explicitly commissioned "until religion is for Allah" - ie. unbelievers desist in their unbelief. [Editor's note: these notes have been modified slightly after a critic misinterpreted our language. Verse 193 plainly says that 'fighting' is sanctioned even if the fitna 'ceases'. This is about religious order, not real persecution.]

Quran (2:244) - "Then fight in the cause of Allah, and know that Allah Heareth and knoweth all things."

Quran (2:216) - "Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not." Not only does this verse establish that violence can be virtuous, but it also contradicts the myth that fighting is intended only in self-defense, since the audience was obviously not under attack at the time. From the Hadith, we know that this verse was narrated at a time that Muhammad was actually trying to motivate his people into raiding merchant caravans for loot.

Quran (3:56) - "As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help."

Quran (3:151) - "Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority". This speaks directly of polytheists, yet it also includes Christians, since they believe in the Trinity (ie. what Muhammad incorrectly believed to be 'joining companions to Allah').

Where is terrorism in the above. I don't know what has eaten up ur brain.

iamgenius:
Where is terrorism in the above. I don't know what has eaten up ur brain.

The issue is this is what Islamic terrorists read from the Quaran. Al Taqiyya won't work here bro.