"What is your answer Leah? I will do as you say."

I wake up from the dreadful scene playing in my head.
It's not like I'm seeing it for the first time...the scene always reiterates in my head and you might think I must have gotten used to the words from the strange guy's mouth but...no...this dream or more like nightmare intimidates me and scares me like it did the first time I saw it.
I can't shake the sweat and dread that washes over me with this vague dream. It always makes me feel like I have experienced this already which totally doesn't make sense because I don't remember any of it happening in my life.
I sit upright in my bed and run my fingers over my drenched forehead as I look at my best friend Jenna sleeping soundly and peacefully. I'm glad I didn't scream this time because then it might have woken her up and she would get worried for me for something indistinct and unclear.
I envy her calm state. I envy every other person's peace mind. It's not like I can't have the peace in my life, it's just that I feel like I don't allow it to happen..

I inhale and exhale to calm my pounding heart as I rub the restlessness in the form of my tears out of my eyes. I grab a glass of water from my night stand and gulp it down in one go before standing up to walk over to the dark balcony to get some freshness into my mind and to forget that awful dream.
I stare at the dark sky; stars are shining bright under the darkness and are not engulfed by it. My memories are like that too. They are present in the darkness of my life, shining all bright...but out of my reach just like the stars.
It's been four years since that accident that cost me my memory.
I don't remember myself.
I don't remember my parents.
I don't remember the girl I was four years ago.
I don't remember what I missed or what I should be missing.
It sucks to not have your life in control. It hurts to know there are some things or memories that know about you more than you know about yourself.
Aunt Meredith never told me about my previous life because she thought I was better off without it. Trauma was my friend for a whole year after the accident and I pestered Aunt Meredith, begged her, and cried for her to tell me about the life I lived but she didn't.
She was firm on her resolve and I had no choice but to give up.
You might think I could have Googled myself and you know what, I did but I guess sometimes Google doesn't know everything. There was no trace of Leah Winters on the web...it was as if I didn't exist at all.
I tried again. I cried for her to tell me until my throat went dry but one day those few words from her were enough for me to take the route of silence. It shut all my questions. It shut my past.
"You cannot live in the present if you knew what you were."
Honestly, it frightened me to the soul and I thought I was actually better off without my past. I left it behind and started forward with my new life, new ambitions and new paths.
In a nutshell, I gave up.
I glance at the time on my wall clock. Three in the morning.
I take a deep breath. Better sleep now and get some much needed sleep for Professor Hedgeworth's exhausting Ethics hour in the morning.
I move to step away from the railing of the balcony but halt when I hear the sound of tires screeching against the asphalt. I furrow my brows and look down to see a car pulling to a sharp halt in the alley of my apartment, right in front of my apartment building.
Curiosity gets the best of me and I stay rooted for whatever is about to happen.
It was as if I couldn't move even if I wanted to.
My eyes go wide like saucers when a body slashes against the asphalt from inside of the car. It struggles to stand up, but it is a feeble attempt as it falls on the ground with a violent thud and groans out loud. The street lights are out and all I can see is the silhouette of the activity, courtesy of the moon light.
On closer inspection, I deduct the body to be of a guy. He remains immobile on the asphalt—either he is drunk or just...badly beaten up.
I squint my eyes to see three more people hopping out of the car. Two of them lean against the car as one of the three—all posing the silhouette of guys—walk toward the whimpering body on the ground. My mind advises me to step back but I don't find myself doing that. That was a bold and reckless move on my part, I should have known that.
The whimpering body slides backward on its elbows as the guy approaches him. Something about the whole situation screams of danger and adrenaline kicks in and I make a move to shout for help when the guy walking toward the whimpering body, in a lightening move, grabs hold of the struggling guy and twists his head, silencing his pleas.

A crack of bones screams into the silence of the night along with my sharp gasp of shock and I clamp my hands over my mouth to reign in my emotions. Oh my god, what did I just witness?!
My gasp doesn't go unnoticed because as soon as it breaks out, the heads shoot up in my direction and I bend down, concealing myself from their inquisitive gazes. Did they see me? Oh God, did he really kill that person? I freaking saw a murder happen?
I was fast to hide from their eyes and it's pretty dark here but...was it enough? What if they saw me? Oh goodness, what did I just get myself into? Should I call the police? Yeah, I should—
I peek through the spaces in the railing to see the guy who just
murdered looking up...his eyes are glinting under the moonlight promising me of fear and primal raw danger.
I gulp hard hoping they hadn't noticed me because if they had then the other two guys wouldn't be throwing the dead body into the car—, great there goes my evidence. Would the police believe me now if I tell them of this?
One of the other two guys rushes over to the murdered and grabs hold of his arm and drags him back to the safety of their car, cloaking their crime.
The glinting danger in the murderer's inquisitive, relentless eyes scares me and I clench my fists to my chest. He couldn't have seen me because then those guys would have come after me to erase any sort of evidence instead of running away.
The doors to the car slam shut and they drive off leaving me in a delirious state of shock and fear. Apparently one nightmare wasn't enough for me. I had to go and get caught up in the other. How far am I caught up? Now that is something that will have to wait.