Episode 1

Original Video: Woli Agba
Official Transcriber: Akíntayo Akínjídé (of Writertain)


∆∆∆ Sanctioned And Encouraged by WoliAgba himself∆∆∆


After what seemed like a dull service, Woli Agba and Dele were trying to ease themselves of the tiredness that had enveloped the church. They engaged themselves in exercises that would aid that. Afterwards, Woli Agba asked Dele to preach.
With the mind of instilling the hot real word of God, he rushed to the front and hurriedly picked his Bible. ‘ Thank you Daddy thank you for this great opportunity. See, the title of my message is no dulling. Tell the person beside you no dulling’.
The congregation answered happily. Even Woli Agba, who was now seated, jumped up excitedly.
‘ Help me open your bible to the book of Titus 2 verse 4’.
‘ Me or the congregation?’ Woli Agba asked.
‘ It’s you sir’.
Woli Agba ready to learn from Dele rose, picked the bible, and quickly opened the bible like an altar boy.
Dele clapped. ‘ See, no dulling. Your life must not be dull’.
He walked towards the congregation, but just then Woli Agba started reading the bible verse.
‘ That they may…’.
Dele shook his hand and shouted, ‘ No…No. Leave that side, go to Jeremiah 7:2’.
‘Jeremiah…’ A spiritually hungry Woli-Agba said as he rushed to open the bible verse, and repeatedly said Jeremiah 7:2.
Dele, still frustrated at the way the first preacher had preached, clapped and shouted, ‘ See, church your life must not be dull today’.
Reading the bible verse,’ Stand In…’
‘ No…No… Go to…’

Woli Agba was poised to be humble enough to help. So, he asked, ‘ what part exactly are you searching for?’
Dele shook his head as if he was wrapping his head around an invisible rope. He clapped again. ‘ Read Kings Chapter 50’.
Woli Agba flipping through the bible, asked, ‘ the first or second’.

‘ No. Any of the Kings’.
‘ None of them has 50 chapters’.
Dele was surprised, but shook it off. ‘ Not up to 50? Okay, go to Psalm 119. From the beginning to the end’.
Flipping through the bible verse, still shaking, ‘ What verse?'

Poised as if he wanted to spill a great information on the church and he needed to stand firm to avoid being drained from losing a lot of energy. ‘ From the beginning to the end’.

Flabbergasted, Woli Agba yelled. ‘ Ehn? Are you sane? From verse 1 to the end?’
‘ Daddy’, Dele shouted with frustration and hit his hand….

http://writertain.com/2017/09/25/509/

‘ Anything… You don’t know what you’re saying’, Woli Agba shouted at Dele. ‘ I said Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the bible’.

He flipped through the bible vigorously, ‘ See…See’.
Infuriated by Woli Agba’s opposition, Dele cried, ‘ Daddy, I know what I’m saying by the time you get to verse 100, I’ll find what I want to use’.

‘ I should read 100 verses during Sunday service. You’re not okay. You’re mad’.
‘ Daddy’, Dele said and repeatedly knocked the table.

‘ In fact, you’re insane. You’re lunatic. Your brain is malfunctioning’.
‘ But Daddy you know that it’s holyspirit that’s working through me’.

‘ It’s an evil spirit. You don’t know what you’re saying’
‘Okay. Go to…’
Daddy sat dejectedly. ‘ I’m not going anywhere’.

He rose and hit the bible. ‘ If you can’t preach without opening the Bible, don’t bother preaching. I’m not opening anything’.
Dele faced the congregation. ‘ Okay. People of God, the title is no-dulling’.

Daddy rose and tapped him repeatedly. ‘ What’s no dulling?’
Now on the verge of losing his anger on Woli Agba, faced the church and bent a bit to explain himself. ‘ No dulling is not to dull. The children of Isreal weren’t dull and that was the reason they entered the red sea’.

Woli Agba placed his hands on his head, bemused. ‘ Dele… Ah… You’re dull. You don’t know anything about the Bible. No wonder you were shouting that we should open Kings. Which king do you want? Is it King Samuel or King Hezekiah? Which one do you want exactly?’

‘ I’m looking for King ….Oni of Ife’.
‘ You’re looking for Oni of Ife in the bible and you were disturbing me’.
Now if you’ve ever being in a case where your younger siblings played a prank on you on a bad day, you would imagine the state with which Woli Agba was infuriated. He lashed out repeatedly at Dele, stoning him first his slippers.


http://writertain.com/2017/10/02/chronicles-woli-agba-no-dulling-part-3/

Daddy returned with his sandal in his hand as he was kept ranting about how Dele was searching for Oni of Ife in the bible.
Dele returned to the front, on his knees, hand clasped as he begged WoliAgba, ‘ Daddy, I’m very sorry. In fact, I will change the topic’.

‘ Don’t change the topic. Don’t even preach. Don’t change the topic’, Woli Agba shouted.
Dele looked surly. Woliagba turned to him.
‘ Okay… If you want to preach what do you want to change the topic to? To what?’
‘ I want to change it to money is the essence’.

Woli Agba stared at him disdainfully and reeled out the lyrics of a Yoruba song with that same title.
‘ No. Daddy, I’m not singing. The one you just mentioned is a song. It’s my topic. Money is the essence. Right now, you will help me open…’ Dele said and swayed from side to side.

‘ I’m not opening anything’.
‘ Daddy, please’.
‘ Okay’.
‘You’ll open the bible from Genesis to Revelations. Wherever money is being mentioned, please stop’.
‘From Genesis to Revelations?’
‘Yes sir’.
‘ I should open?’
‘ Yes sir’.
Woli Agba faced the church, ‘ this boy is not alright? You can’t preach. Dele, you can’t preach.

Someone from the church pleaded on Dele’s behalf and aggravated Woli Agba’s anger, making him talk as if his body was infested with soldier ants.
‘Mummy Nike, Dele cannot preach. I’ve never being rude to you. Please don’t interfere in this case’.

Dele and Mummy Nike continued pleading with Woli Agba, fueling his anger to the extent that he push aside his chair.
‘ Mummy Nike stop… Stop.. In fact, Dara come and preach’.

If you’ve not met Dara before, he was the one who tried to push his handkerchief into Woli Agba’s mouth in a bid to impress him. So, you would understand Dele’s disappointment in Woli Agba’s choice.

‘ Dara… This Dara… What would Dara say?’
‘ Dara come out to preach…’.
Be on the look out for the next episode.

http://writertain.com/2017/10/05/chronicles-of-woli-agba-no-dulling-pt4/

My chest oo.. Laugh wan kill me die

lol...any of the kings. Divepen u wan kill me ba?

hilarious. Oni of Ife inside Bible lmao

Any of the kings..... Lol. No dulling. Can't wait for the next episode

As Dara made his way to the front, the Pastor, whose preaching was dull, who prompted the whole problem came around, pushing Dara aside.

Woli Agba was surprised. ‘Pastor what happened?’
Dele also surprised said, ‘ you returned, sir?’
The angry Pastor slammed his bible on the desk. ‘I came back because of this boy. I wasn’t happy on my way home. He was telling me I’m dull. Wasn’t I preaching the Bible?’

Woli Agba being diplomatic. ‘I’m sorry to hear that’.
‘I said what I saw’, Dele explained.
‘You’re not mannered’, the Pastor shouted at Dele.

‘Be calm’.
‘No..No..Daddy’, the Pastor shouted.
‘Pastor… At least, I’m here. Honour my presence’.

Woli Agba pulled him away from Dele as he began to show his sore side. The Pastor managed to push Woli Agba aside and hit Dele’s chest aggressively.

‘I said be patient’.
‘Ah! You hit me on the chest’, Dele shouted.
The banter increased as Dele became furious, ready to beat the Pastor who was also trying to push Woli Agba aside so as to get his revenge.

‘Daddy, I’ll beat him’.
‘Dele, are you alright’, Woli Agba shouted as he maintained his stance of a peacemaker.
Since he couldn’t reach Dele, the Pastor ran to the Woli Agba’s frame, which was hanged at a corner of the church, and carried with the aim of smashing it on Dele.

‘Ah… Pastor drop me’, Woli Agba screamed. This time he had withdrawn from both of them. ‘ Drop me o’.
‘ Drop my Daddy’s frame’.

Woli Agba began to shake the same way the Pastor fiercely shook the frame. ‘ You’re shaking me… You’re shaking me. Drop me’.
After a bit turbulence and Dele threat to break the Pastor’s head with the church bell, Woli Agba pulled the frame, but fell, ramming into the lectern. This aggravated Dele’s anger that he ran to the Pastor and carried him….

Till next time.


http://writertain.com/2017/10/08/chronicles-of-woli-agba-no-dulling-part-5/

Pastor drop me... You are shaking me...

Ahn ahn.. Drop me Drop me, Drop my Daddy's frame. This is just so hilarious