shaybebaby:

Well examining what they consider as benefits should give you a good inkling as to what they consider as important, their values.
No one goes into relationships if they do not envisage some sort of benefits. We all do, you wouldn't date if you think it would be deleterious.
So I'm saying kind of like the opposite, what are the benefits you desire from your partner, find someone whose thoughts align.

shaybebaby:

Well examining what they consider as benefits should give you a good inkling as to what they consider as important, their values.
No one goes into relationships if they do not envisage some sort of benefits. We all do, you wouldn't date if you think it would be deleterious.
So I'm saying kind of like the opposite, what are the benefits you desire from your partner, find someone whose thoughts align.

WebSurfer:


Let me give you another example, after dating this last one for over 6 months, she just came to realisation that im just few months older than her and she cant end up with me.. saying its not about me but her self esteem in the future aand all that bullshit..

Not that shes just finding out that now

Since everyone decided to be childish, i did something i would never do before (collected back my iphone 7 plus) cos i felt used.

shaybebaby:

Lol@bolded. But you should be grateful, she didn't waste your time for too long.
Anyways, that's her idiocy showing right there. I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who reasons that way so yeah, it's better they excuse themselves.
Seems like you seek someone is who is open minded and flexible in their thinking. It's going to be a bit more difficult in the nigerian environment to find girls like that.
It's through no fault of theirs though, it's the pressures put on them by the society with you menfolk not excluded from culpability. I remember a guy posting on here that he likes older gals and he was laughed at. The norm in naij is older guy, younger girl. It takes a certain resilience to be able to ignore what people consider as conventional. She, quite rightly for the environment is worried about if she can withstand possible future jabs(women generally age faster than men bullshit and all that). Also worried about if you may cave in to the same pressures to conform(finding a younger counterpart).
You may say foreign girls are different but that is because the society here generally doesn't give a Bleep. No one bats an eyelid. So people are generally free to make their choices without fear of censure. Put a foreign girl in Nigeria and watch her succumb to the same pressures.

WebSurfer:

She said so but I gave her guarantee I'm not one of those

Infact I only just found out last week my dad and mum were mates before she passed on.. they didn't have any such issues or ever had any relationship outside marriage but that wasn't enough.. I guess it's just an excuse after all the guarantee I gave.. I tire mehnn

shaybebaby:

Lol@bolded. But you should be grateful, she didn't waste your time for too long.
Anyways, that's her idiocy showing right there. I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who reasons that way so yeah, it's better they excuse themselves.
Seems like you seek someone is who is open minded and flexible in their thinking. It's going to be a bit more difficult in the nigerian environment to find girls like that.
It's through no fault of theirs though, it's the pressures put on them by the society with you menfolk not excluded from culpability. I remember a guy posting on here that he likes older gals and he was laughed at. The norm in naij is older guy, younger girl. It takes a certain resilience to be able to ignore what people consider as conventional. She, quite rightly for the environment is worried about if she can withstand possible future jabs(women generally age faster than men bullshit and all that). Also worried about if you may cave in to the same pressures to conform(finding a younger counterpart).
You may say foreign girls are different but that is because the society here generally doesn't give a Bleep. No one bats an eyelid. So people are generally free to make their choices without fear of censure. Put a foreign girl in Nigeria and watch her succumb to the same pressures.

rabazamba:


I swear I dey feel your pain..

WebSurfer:


Let me give you another example, after dating this last one for over 6 months, she just came to realisation that im just few months older than her and she cant end up with me.. saying its not about me but her self esteem in the future aand all that bullshit..

Not that shes just finding out that now

Since everyone decided to be childish, i did something i would never do before (collected back my iphone 7 plus) cos i felt used

WebSurfer:


My dear.. its not about getting married.. its about staying happy in marriage.. incase you missed it, i was that same guy on Nairaland frontpage who engaged a lady around march this year hoping to marry her within few months later..
You wouldnt want to know what happened aftermath

robotix:
i am going to create a thread because of you and will address issues... You can always comment on it if you wish.

Safiaa:
What happened? I'm curious.

robotix:
i am going to create a thread because of you and will address issues... You can always comment on it if you wish.

WebSurfer:


Very long story dear

WebSurfer:

So i should act poor because i fuc.king need to find someone who will love me for me... it's posts like these that made me stop driving for a period of time and after all said and done i still didnt find a difference

And for your info, i dont entice ladies with money as i mostly assist cos i see the need to if i could

WebSurfer:

I'm tired bro.. really tired of trying one after the other only to find out i keep wasting my time and resources

WebSurfer:


..

Not that shes just finding out that now

Since everyone decided to be childish, i did something i would never do before (collected back my iphone 7 plus) cos i felt used

mctowel01:

Hey bro... read the advise from robotix. i guess its whats needed. Sometimes after looking at the wasted time and resources, you tell yourself to fck it and face your career full time.. its hard, man, but its neccessary. Sent you a pm btw

WebSurfer:

Oh yea thanks .. my pm email don't work

robotix:
You should change it. Just create a new email via gmail, sync to your android phone for easy access. when done, click on your profile here and have it changed.

WebSurfer:


Details is too long jor... its way too long to explain by writing.. try to understand..
Just forget those innocent looks you saw on her face,she wasn't far from the devil with an evil and wicked heart

WebSurfer:

OBARA JESUS

WebSurfer:

Yes.. I found out aftermath through one of those girls you saw on the photos.. pretty much long stories but simply the truth that a lot went on behind my back.. before the violent part came through with her destroying things among others.. infact police troubles and all that which ended when God decided to purnish her after a recorded sound clip of how she was going to kill me..

Goodnight too dear

shaybebaby:

I'm going to ask you to ignore that advice. No offense.

Want a partner who may go the full distance, you must always be yourself.
This isn't some fairy tale where you have a true reveal. This is real life bro.

Secondly, what do you want? I mean in life? What is the picture of the life you want, I mean not now, in 5 years, 10 years?

What are your dreams?

Identify those and find someone who shares the same dream i.e wants the same things and is willing to work with you to achieve the life you both want.

Divay22:
I wonder which girls, some guys are getting married to every Saturday
Abi it's not the Nigeria girls, this one is complaining about.

Well the ones you met are full of pride and misplaced priorities, not all.. But If you say you're tired,you can go... We won't stop you.

laliga01:


So why you never marry? Are you not part of the Nigerian girls OP is talking about.

Divay22:

I'm not done adding values to myself. I'm a Nigeria girl but not part of the ones OP is talking about..

Good night