Tink_sh:

I have tried to ignore commenting on this subject but i cant stand it anymore!! I am so sick and tired of hearing how poor men get done out of their money in a divorce, especially in the west!!! Not all are so innocent and loose everything. Some, in my case, are very sneaky and have put everything in his name. Even our business dealings and assets before divorcing me for greener pasture. I ended up with absolutely nothing after 12 years of marriage and building a business and giving him a child! So please stop crying over the men who lost everything cos some women spent the best part of there life trusting, loving, supporting, working hard to end up with nothing! My fatal mistake was trusting that he would never do that to me or our son! I was so wrong!!!

I am always grateful that i have my son but after 12 years of my life and working long hours, i had to start all over from nothing. My ex husband kept everything and all these years later i am still trying to get some maintenance out of him.  So i am sorry i dont agree.

i need to move to ur part of the west, in the USA, plz, if the guy in prison, if he ever gets out and a gets a check, he is in hot soup. and i am curious, if the biz was built by both of u, why was it only in his name? was the house bought by u? the cars, where they bought with ur own money or his? if it was all his then u shot urself in the foot

na2day?:

i need to move to your part of the west, in the USA, plz, if the guy in prison, if he ever gets out and a gets a check, he is in hot soup. and i am curious, if the biz was built by both of u, why was it only in his name? was the house bought by u? the cars, where they bought with your own money or his? if it was all his then u shot urself in the foot

The business was bought by both of us, both on the documents but i didnt find out til it was too late that while i was away visiting my family he and his parents had got a lawyer and took me off the business partnership. Til this day i dont know how he got away with it but i had nothing so could not get a lawyer. We where married so we had joint accounts, both our wages went into the same account, it was 'our' money. But i made the mistake of not checking cos i trusted him totally. I should of had my own account, i should of check the bank statements, etc, you live and learn!

When i went to talk to a lawyer all our personal assets had been tranferred into his brothers name so i couldnt touch it. The caravan, the car, the house, he had documents to say his brother had purchased it from us, Very crooked! But he will get his! Eventually he signed me over the car but only cos of our son. He gets cash work so nothing is on record so i cant get anything. He is on a overseas holiday at the moment after travelling around Australia after selling the business and pocketing all the money.

I am working but about to move into my my fathers house so i can get some money behind us. I barely earn enough to cover anything so am moving back home. But i still say i got the most important thing, my son! At the end of the day my ex has all the money but is a very sad and miserable man whereas i am grateful for small things. But i am tired of hearing how bad men are treated in divirce, I was naive and too trusting, wont make that mistake again.

But it all comes down to who has the best lawyer and the most money to pay them.

Tink_sh:

The business was bought by both of us, both on the documents but i didnt find out til it was too late that while i was away visiting my family he and his parents had got a lawyer and took me off the business partnership. Til this day i dont know how he got away with it but i had nothing so could not get a lawyer. We where married so we had joint accounts, both our wages went into the same account, it was 'our' money. But i made the mistake of not checking cos i trusted him totally. I should of had my own account, i should of check the bank statements, etc, you live and learn!

When i went to talk to a lawyer all our personal assets had been tranferred into his brothers name so i couldnt touch it. The caravan, the car, the house, he had documents to say his brother had purchased it from us, Very crooked! But he will get his! Eventually he signed me over the car but only cos of our son. He gets cash work so nothing is on record so i cant get anything. He is on a overseas holiday at the moment after travelling around Australia after selling the business and pocketing all the money.

I am working but about to move into my my fathers house so i can get some money behind us. I barely earn enough to cover anything so am moving back home. But i still say i got the most important thing, my son! At the end of the day my ex has all the money but is a very sad and miserable man whereas i am grateful for small things. But i am tired of hearing how bad men are treated in divirce, I was naive and too trusting, wont make that mistake again.

But it all comes down to who has the best lawyer and the most money to pay them.

i am sorry for what happened to u but it boils down to the same thing we are talking about, protecting one's self. i am not a big believer of joint account. she can own her own account and i will own mine. if she gets into debt, she will carry it on by herself and i will make sure i get as little damage to that affect as possible. once again i am sorry u had to go through this but u didnt protect urself and that is what pre nup is all abt, protecting ones self from morons like ur ex. even when there is no divorce, some kinda things some couples go through is just insane. i was watching cbs the other night and this lady called in to ask for financial advice. she has a joint account with her hubby and she keeps all the records. she is a stay at home mom and he works. he brings the check, she pays the bills and get them whatever they wanted. after abt 7yrs she is now telling the poor dude they are $65k in credit card debt and the guy is lost for words on how. she claimed she bought clothes and food for their 2 kids. imagine! $65k! ! ! she gotta be kidding me! funny enough my friend's wife did the same thing and when he found out, he seize all the credit cards from her, and destroyed them. events like this makes me wonder if marriage is what the stress

na2day?:

i am sorry for what happened to u but it boils down to the same thing we are talking about, protecting one's self. i am not a big believer of joint account. she can own her own account and i will own mine. if she gets into debt, she will carry it on by herself and i will make sure i get as little damage to that affect as possible. once again i am sorry u had to go through this but u didnt protect urself and that is what pre nup is all abt, protecting ones self from morons like your ex. even when there is no divorce, some kinda things some couples go through is just insane. i was watching cbs the other night and this lady called in to ask for financial advice. she has a joint account with her hubby and she keeps all the records. she is a stay at home mom and he works. he brings the check, she pays the bills and get them whatever they wanted. after abt 7yrs she is now telling the poor dude they are $65k in credit card debt and the guy is lost for words on how. she claimed she bought clothes and food for their 2 kids. imagine! $65k! ! ! she gotta be kidding me! funny enough my friend's wife did the same thing and when he found out, he seize all the credit cards from her, and destroyed them. events like this makes me wonder if marriage is what the stress

Thanks and your right, I wasnt smart enough and was too trusting but i have learnt a huge lesson and wont make that mistake again. I am so sorry for your friends, i dont understand why people are so decieving to the people they are supposed to love. I still believe in marriage but would always go through everything together. I think the trick is to not leave the finance up to one person. Maybe a type of pre nup that set down what each would get in a divorce. But i was young and had my head in the clouds and believed in together forever no matter what!! Divorce was not an option but it wasnt my choice. But as i said, a very big lesson learnt!

Tink_sh:

Thanks and your right, I wasnt smart enough and was too trusting but i have learnt a huge lesson and wont make that mistake again. I am so sorry for your friends, i dont understand why people are so decieving to the people they are supposed to love. I still believe in marriage but would always go through everything together. I think the trick is to not leave the finance up to one person. Maybe a type of pre nup that set down what each would get in a divorce. But i was young and had my head in the clouds and believed in together forever no matter what!! Divorce was not an option but it wasnt my choice. But as i said, a very big lesson learnt!

i believe in what marriage was meant to be but i dont believe in the girls i see these days and in ur case the guys. i also dont believe in divorce but this is the 21st century where a promise dont mean a thing, so if i will get married, i am not walking into that battle zone snoring, thats for sure!

Good for you!! At least you are starting off with your eyes wide open!! And hopefully you want fall into the same trap i did. I wouldnt trust women either, lol!!! Some would skin you alive if they could all in the name of revenge! I agree, a promise is just a word now, doesnt mean anything so protect yourself. You sound like a smart guy who has his head on the right way so i am sure you will be fine. If both sides protect themselves everyone will be fine.

Tink_sh:

Good for you!! At least you are starting off with your eyes wide open!! And hopefully you want fall into the same trap i did. I wouldnt trust women either, lol!!! Some would skin you alive if they could all in the name of revenge! I agree, a promise is just a word now, doesnt mean anything so protect yourself. You sound like a smart guy who has his head on the right way so i am sure you will be fine. If both sides protect themselves everyone will be fine.

u are the 2nd person to think that i am smart, the other is my mother!

Hehehe!! Funny too!!

Good for them,why should I have pity on them?When women finally get tired of being stepped on,the MEN will make it all about themselves.ABEG!

HMMM, na2day my lolo, thank God this is not our portion, i would be back, Lemme go to the river 20km away to fetch the water to boil to wash your feet this morning, i have put your food in the usual place.

@mama-gee

And where have you seen real African Couples divorce?

Are u really saying Africans dont devorce legally or how?
when last have u visited a customary court?

It depends on who is opting out, it could affect the man or the woman the difference is that whoever gets prepared for it feels less the pain.

who wan die make him/her die,ABEG

Busy_body:


HMMM, na2day my lolo, thank God this is not our portion, i would be back, Lemme go to the river 20km away to fetch the water to boil to wash your feet this morning, i have put your food in the usual place.

tee hee hee looking forward to ur verbiage

Ninapha:

@mama-gee

And where have you seen real African Couples divorce?

Are u really saying Africans dont devorce legally or how?
when last have u visited a customary court?

It depends on who is opting out, it could affect the man or the woman the difference is that whoever gets prepared for it feels less the pain.

there is no amount of preparation u can make as a man if they will yank 50% of ur assets away from u and u pay child support and u then fall in the wrong tax bracket!

Why won't the men be more suicidal when they have divorce laws that reduce a man to shreds! The divorce law in western countries is 100% in favor of women.If you cheat on your woman and she takes you court, you lose ALL. If your wife cheats on you and you take her to court, you still[b] LOSE ALL![/b] So tell me, where is the fairness in that? It's a win-win situation for women all the time.This is why a lot of the guys there at best, prefer to just have kids, co-habit and if they seperate, it's just life support.Imagine being kicked out of your house, losing your car and paying ridiculous amounts in child support to a woman who will bring her boyfriend into YOUR HOUSE and the guy rides around in YOUR CAR! Sometimes, i don't blame O.J Simpson for what he did.I would probably do the same thing.

harakiri:

Why won't the men be more suicidal when they have divorce laws that reduce a man to shreds! The divorce law in western countries is 100% in favor of women.If you cheat on your woman and she takes you court, you lose ALL. If your wife cheats on you and you take her to court, you still[b] LOSE ALL![/b] So tell me, where is the fairness in that? It's a win-win situation for women all the time.This is why a lot of the guys there at best, prefer to just have kids, co-habit and if they seperate, it's just life support.Imagine being kicked out of your house, losing your car and paying ridiculous amounts in child support to a woman who will bring her boyfriend into YOUR HOUSE and the guy rides around in YOUR CAR! Sometimes, i don't blame O.J Simpson for what he did.I would probably do the same thing.

no mind them, they just transfered the wrong doings from one person to another and claimed they fixed the inequality in marriage. what ever happened to 2 wrongs dont make a right?

men i sure agree, with smart lawyers prowling around these days

it use to be child support until alimony came into the picture

the woman will always be the king in divorce, and the man is a working slave for the woman

jUST LIKE NAS paying kellies $50,000 for child support thats sure crazy some men would kill themselves


Thank God i am a Nigerian would marry the traditional way

kaecy5:

men i sure agree, with smart lawyers prowling around these days

it use to be child support until alimony came into the picture

the woman will always be the king in divorce, and the man is a working slave for the woman

jUST LIKE NAS paying kellies $50,000 for child support thats sure crazy some men would kill themselves


Thank God i am a Nigerian would marry the traditional way

i dont blame u brother, going to the village to pick a wife is beginning to sound like a good idea

men any day, the traditional divorce is cheaper, they only return ur bridesprice

and u keep your children

kaecy5:

men i sure agree, with smart lawyers prowling around these days

it use to be child support until alimony came into the picture

the woman will always be the king in divorce, and the man is a working slave for the woman

jUST LIKE NAS paying kellies $50,000 for child support thats sure crazy some men would kill themselves


Thank God i am a Nigerian would marry the traditional way

At least Nas was married. How about 50-cent who had a child with some douche bag and she has a son for him. . .he pays approx $48,000 per month and she took him to court for more money.On top of that, she even had the guts to sue him for half his assets on the basis of "verbal understanding" between them.She said 50-cent promised to give her half and with that, she is entitled to half.The burning down of the $10 million home where she used to stay points to him although there is no evidence but he has taken back his house and insisted that if she wants to remain there, she MUST PAY RENT! Now , that's how to beat the system.Imagine her bringing different men to his house, driving latest cars with child support money and all that crap.Thank God i'm Nigerian.

I know a Naija guy who got divorced about 3 years ago in the UK. His wife took the two kids and the house. Plus she gets him to send monthly up keep money and stresses him for so many other things.

The guy was recently discovered dead in his house 3 months after he died, he died of an apparent heart attack (dude was less than 40 yrs) and no one knew he was dead in the flat for close to 3 months.

I'm not saying his wife killed him but the general conception from all his that toil of the divorce and his ex-wife's constant nagging plus the fact that she took almost everything contributed to his demise.

Realvoice:

I know a Naija guy who got divorced about 3 years ago in the UK. His wife took the two kids and the house. Plus she gets him to send monthly up keep money and stresses him for so many other things.

The guy was recently discovered dead in his house 3 months after he died, he died of an apparent heart attack (dude was less than 40 yrs) and no one knew he was dead in the flat for close to 3 months.

I'm not saying his wife killed him but the general conception from all his that toil of the divorce and his ex-wife's constant nagging plus the fact that she took almost everything contributed to his demise.

How sad.That's the crap i keep talking about. . .its very unfair.

harakiri:

At least Nas was married. How about 50-cent who had a child with some douche bag and she has a son for him. . .he pays approx $48,000 per month and she took him to court for more money.On top of that, she even had the guts to sue him for half his assets on the basis of "verbal understanding" between them.She said 50-cent promised to give her half and with that, she is entitled to half.The burning down of the $10 million home where she used to stay points to him although there is no evidence but he has taken back his house and insisted that if she wants to remain there, she MUST PAY RENT! Now , that's how to beat the system.Imagine her bringing different men to his house, driving latest cars with child support money and all that crap.Thank God i'm Nigerian.

amen to that brother, amen! imagine her asking for 50% of his assest thunder fire her!

Realvoice:

I know a Naija guy who got divorced about 3 years ago in the UK. His wife took the two kids and the house. Plus she gets him to send monthly up keep money and stresses him for so many other things.

The guy was recently discovered dead in his house 3 months after he died, he died of an apparent heart attack (dude was less than 40 yrs) and no one knew he was dead in the flat for close to 3 months.

I'm not saying his wife killed him but the general conception from all his that toil of the divorce and his ex-wife's constant nagging plus the fact that she took almost everything contributed to his demise.

now that is just wrong, poor guy

@ topic

i am glad that guys are coming out to voice their opinion about this delicate issue, i was beginning to think i was the only one worried abt the trend

FL Gators:

woah, mo fun e ni 10 gbosa for that one. . . . but @the bolded, someone might just be walking along your wayand might  just happen to beg to differ  that opinionated point.

Do men not also care about themselves? You guys are so stuck up what she might take from you when she ends it and she might be trying to suck your pockets dry. Abegi, if anybody serious minded person goes into a relationship, the first thing they WOULD care about is "What will happen after. . . "

So far, I agree with all your points, but I'm still adamant about Prenup, I have a personal issue with it.

Even though I agree with you that men also selfish sometimes. My feel is that this is mostly men that are not in love with the chic.

And in regards to having the mentality of "what she might take from you" is only the reaction and result of the silly laws on divorce in the West not a natural instincts like the me me and I you get from girls.

You just gave a shining example now. You can see the logic, risk and fear that justifies the case for a prenup but if it comes to it, you will stick to what YOU feel and refuse it for your man. That your feeling of what you want will supercede all the logic and justification.

Now imagine you have been in a marriage for years and in the last 2 years it has all been bitterness, heated arguments and emotional detachment until you both reach what your divorce papers will call "irreconciliable differences" and your lawyer tells you that, under the law, "this is what you can get". Note: this is different from this is what you contributed or worked for. You think I believe for one second that you will not maximise what you can get from this antagonist of 2 years that will probably get a slimmer girl than you and spend the money on her? When you could not even be reasonable with him, based on your position above when you loved him, how are you going to be when you no more love him and are bitter towards him?

Sagamite:

Even though I agree with you that men also selfish sometimes. My feel is that this is mostly men that are not in love with the chic.

And in regards to having the mentality of "what she might take from you" is only the reaction and result of the silly laws on divorce in the West not a natural instincts like the me me and I you get from girls.

If male selfishness can be blamed on Western divorce systen, then so can female's selfisness be blamed on economical factors. At the end, it doesnt really matter what the blame is on, but what matters is that women are unfairly been judge as selfish while both intimacy takes the crown.

You just gave a shining example now. You can see the logic, risk and fear that justifies the case for a prenup but if it comes to it, you will stick to what YOU feel and refuse it for your man. That your feeling of what you want will supercede all the logic and justification.

Bah!!! That's a humane thing. . . . is it not? Do we not often neglect log et justification for our own desires?
Take a man that's  married with children for example. He grows tired of his wife, went how to get laid. . . . broke his family apart, all because of the desire and lust raging inside his heartless soul.

Hey we can go back and forth about logic and reason, but there's always going to be a point where our thought collides: It's a natural human trait.

Sagamite:

Now imagine you have been in a marriage for years and in the last 2 years it has all been bitterness, heated arguments and emotional detachment until you both reach what your divorce papers will call "irreconciliable differences" and your lawyer tells you that, under the law, "this is what you can get". Note: this is different from this is what you contributed or worked for. You think I believe for one second that you will not maximise what you can get from this antagonist of 2 years that will probably get a slimmer girl than you and spend the money on her? When you could not even be reasonable with him when you loved him based on the above, how are you going to be when you know more love him and are bitter towards him?

Hey the world is a harsh place, shiiit happens.
The same way men get paid more than women in the same area of work. . . . justice sees to it that we get paid back for our struggle. . . .

OFFTOPIC: If you really look at this world carefully, men might think they're the stronger link, not thinking about the weak spots in that link. 

So the woman gets lucky ending up with half [should be 75%] of her husband's possessions, bite me!

FL Gators:

Hey the world is a harsh place, shiiit happens.
The same way men get paid more than women in the same area of work. . . . justice sees to it that we get paid back for our struggle. . . .

Yeah, shiiit happens except you have foresight and control it. 

FL Gators:

OFFTOPIC: If you really look at this world carefully, men might think they're the stronger link, not thinking about the weak spots in that link. 

So the  woman gets lucky ending up with half [should be 75%] of her husband's possessions, bite me!

That is why a man should not be a dumbass if he is rich, and set up a prenup when he still can.

Don't get me wrong, there are cases where women deserve half because they earned it or contributed to it. For example:

The Beckhams if they divorce.

These divorce decisions

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5010888.stm (in the Mcfarlane case, the wife was earning more than him before giving it all up to be a housewife and raise their kids)

http://www.thecrusade.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=14918

These women worked for the success or sacrificed genuine ability to achieve success of similar levels.




But when some airhead hair-dresser/dental assistant is suing for half of what she did not work for and does not have the ability to earn, claiming emotional support or pillow talk contribution to his success or "I am used to the lifestyle", it pisses me off.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/footballers-wife-wins-landmark-divorce-deal-552384.html

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=398031&in_page_id=2

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1509263/Three-year-wifes-5m-divorce-a-meal-ticket-for-life.html

Sagamite:

Yeah, shiiit happens except you have foresight and control it. 

You would think so, keep kidding yourself.
Make she show you one good hot night, you go forget neptup [abi what is it called again?]

Sagamite:

That is why a man should not be a dumbass if he is rich, and set up a prenup when he still can.

Don't get me wrong, there are cases where women deserve half because they earned it or contributed to it. For example:

The Beckhams if they divorce.

These divorce decisions

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5010888.stm (in the Mcfarlane case, the wife was earning more than him before giving it all up to be a housewife and raise their kids)

http://www.thecrusade.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=14918

These women worked for the success or sacrificed genuine ability to achieve success of similar levels.




But when some airhead hair-dresser/dental assistant is suing for half of what she did not work for and does not have the ability to earn, claiming emotional support or pillow talk contribution to his success or "I am used to the lifestyle", it pisses me off.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/footballers-wife-wins-landmark-divorce-deal-552384.html

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=398031&in_page_id=2

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1509263/Three-year-wifes-5m-divorce-a-meal-ticket-for-life.html

I already told you that its not being dump, its being loving. . . .


_{Just joking, I see your point sha. Hey, some women are biiiiitches. . . . Thatz life. But even if she doesnt get much, seeing that he's rich, the judge will grant her a huge amount of money for child support [Sorry to the unfortunate berstard who gets a gold-digga pregnant : ex: USHER] .}

Ofcos men are more suicidal, they have more to lose.
50%

TOPE2000!:

Ofcos men are more suicidal, they have more to lose.
50%

true confession

na2day?:

true confession

Yes o
divorce me and i will collect 50% of everything u have or you can put up with me if u dnt wanna lose

TOPE2000!:

Yes o
divorce me and i will collect 50% of everything u have or you can put up with me if u dnt wanna lose

that is why the issue of marriage will never come up, but we can still have good S₤X though

People only hear about the athlete that lost everything to a bimbo. Or the skank that got half of everything after a short marriage. My take on that? Serves them right! Light is never shed on the poor everyday women who after years of marriage get nothing!!!!! Yet they have the kids and all the work that comes with being a single mother. Those miserly child support checks do absolutely nothing. That check is so insignificant compared to the person who is doing the actual raising of the kids.

Men should learn to cry sometimes. Maybe it will make them less suicidal. Women will cry and roll on the floor to get stuff out of their system and then get down to the business of raising the kids at the expense of a social life or dating. Every dollar is stretched for days. Men just keep sh it bottled up inside and later take a gun and head for their kids school to wait for the ex in the morning when she's dropping off the kids. They want to annihilate the whole family themselves included. (How many times have we heard this same scenario?)

Let them get a grip abeg.

spoilt:

People only hear about the athlete that lost everything to a bimbo. Or the skank that got half of everything after a short marriage. My take on that? Serves them right! Light is never shed on the poor everyday women who after years of marriage get nothing!!!!! Yet they have the kids and all the work that comes with being a single mother. Those miserly child support checks do absolutely nothing. That check is so insignificant compared to the person who is doing the actual raising of the kids.

Men should learn to cry sometimes. Maybe it will make them less suicidal. Women will cry and roll on the floor to get stuff out of their system and then get down to the business of raising the kids at the expense of a social life or dating. Every dollar is stretched for days. Men just keep sh it bottled up inside and later take a gun and head for their kids school to wait for the ex in the morning when she's dropping off the kids. They want to annihilate the whole family themselves included. (How many times have we heard this same scenario?)

Let them get a grip abeg.

hmmmm, i will be praying for u