I'm really upset, ashamed, shocked at the same time seeing Nigerians still supporting child abuse, some Nigerians in this 21 century still hold to the believe that brutally beating a child is the way to learn and also makes them behave well, but we don't see that as Nigeria still remains the most corrupt country in the world.

This thread here triggered this thread, where a teenage child was brutally beating by her parents because she stays out and some people in the thread are supporting the parents barbaric action, we shouldn't be surprise if the same girl later runaway or commit suicide and the same people supporting the parents action will blame the parents.

If a child is misbehaving or showing stubbornness, that's a symptoms, why not find what the cause is instead of making it worse.

Some people might claim parents beating a.k.a discipline makes them a better person but I will tell you many of them faced depression during thier childhood.

I don't see beating as discipline, I see it as child abuse, punishment like seizing a precious thing from them, telling them to do some academic stuff, grounding them and counselling them, these methods do much good than beating.

* So my people on NL, how best should parents discipline thier children?

9 Things to do Instead of Spanking
– by Kathryn Kvols

Research confirms what many parents instinctively feel when they don’t like to spank their child, but they don’t know what else to do. The latest research from Dr. Murray Strauss at the Family Research Laboratory affirms that spanking teaches children to use acts of aggression and violence to solve their problems. It only teaches and perpetuates more violence, the very thing our society is so concerned about. This research further shows that children who have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression and accept lower paying jobs as adults. So, what do you do instead?

1 – Get Calm

First, if you feel angry and out of control and you want to spank or slap your child, leave the situation if you can. Calm down and get quiet. In that quiet time you will often find an alternative or solution to the problem. Sometimes parents lose it because they are under a lot of stress. Dinner is boiling over, the kids are fighting, the phone is ringing and your child drops the can of peas and you lose it. If you can’t leave the situation, then mentally step back and count to ten.

2 – Take Time for Yourself

Parents are more prone to use spanking when they haven’t had any time to themselves and they feel depleted and hurried. So, it is important for parents to take some time for themselves to exercise, read, take a walk or pray.

3 – Be Kind but Firm

Another frustrating situation where parents tend to spank is when your child hasn’t listened to your repeated requests to behave. Finally, you spank to get your child to act appropriately. Another solution in these situations is to get down on your child’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and tell him, in a short, kind but firm phrase, what it is you want him to do. For example, “I want you to play quietly.

4 – Give Choices

Giving your child a choice is an effective alternative to spanking. If she is playing with her food at the table ask, Would you like to stop playing with your food or would you like to leave the table?” If the child continues to play with her food, you use kind but firm action by helping her down from the table. Then tell her that she can return to the table when she is ready to eat her food without playing in it.

5 – Use Logical Consequences

Consequences that are logically related to the behavior help teach children responsibility. For example, your child breaks a neighbor’s window and you punish him by spanking him. What does he learn about the situation? He may learn to never do that again, but he also learns that he needs to hide his mistakes, blame it on someone else, lie, or simply not get caught. He may decide that he is bad or feel anger and revenge toward the parent who spanked him. When you spank a child, he may behave because he is afraid to get hit again. However, do you want your child to behave because he is afraid of you or because he respects you?

Compare that situation to a child who breaks a neighbor’s window and his parent says, “I see you’ve broken the window, what will you do to repair it?” using a kind but firm tone of voice. The child decides to mow the neighbor’s lawn and wash his car several times to repay the cost of breaking the window. What does the child learn in this situation? That mistakes are an inevitable part of life and it isn’t so important that he made the mistake but that he takes responsibility to repair the mistake. The focus is taken off the mistake and put on taking responsibility for repairing it. The child feels no anger or revenge toward his parent. And most importantly the child’s self-esteem is not damaged.

6 – Do Make Ups

When children break agreements, parents tend to want to punish them An alternative is to have your child do a make-up. A make-up is something that people do to put themselves back into integrity with the person they broke the agreement with. For example, several boys were at a sleep-over at Larry’s home. The father was angry and punished them by telling them they couldn’t have a sleep-over for two months. Larry and his friends became angry, sullen and uncooperative as a result of the punishment. The father realized what he had done. He apologized for punishing them and told them how betrayed he felt and discussed the importance of keeping their word. He then asked the boys for a make-up. They decided to cut the lumber that the father needed to have cut in their backyard. The boys became excited and enthusiastic about the project and later kept their word on future sleep-overs.

7 – Withdraw from Conflict

Children who sass back at parents may provoke a parent to slap. In this situation, it is best if you withdraw from the situation immediately. Do not leave the room in anger or defeat. Calmly say, “I’ll be in the next room when you want to talk more respectfully.

8 – Use kind but firm action

Instead of smacking an infant’s hand or bottom when she touches something she isn’t supposed to, kindly but firmly pick her up and take her to the next room. Offer her a toy or another item to distract her and say, “You can try again later.” You may have to take her out several times if she is persistent.

9 – Inform Children Ahead of Time

A child’s temper tantrum can easily set a parent off. Children frequently throw tantrums when they feel uninformed or powerless in a situation. Instead of telling your child he has to leave his friend’s house at a moment’s notice, tell him that you will be leaving in five minutes. This allows the child to complete what he was in the process of doing.

Aggression is an obvious form of perpetuating violence in society. A more subtle form of this is spanking because it takes it’s toll on a child’s self-esteem, dampening his enthusiasm and causing him to be rebellious and uncooperative. Consider for a moment the vision of a family that knows how to win cooperation and creatively solve their problems without using force or violence. The alternatives are limitless and the results are calmer parents who feel more supported.
Source

aya omode ni werey di si

egba la ma fi n tu

Well. . .

I personally have a problem, in fact I get mad and wild when people spank children in anger as opposed to light spanking to correct when all other methods fail.

What we have these days are teachers, uncles, aunts, parents transferring their frustration and anger to children under the disguise of spanking or correcting.

PS: I didn't check the thread OP referenced.

Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction WILL drive it far from him.

Prov 22 vs 15

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch.

Ishilove:
Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.


Prov 22 vs 15

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch.

haha this Cracked me up

As parents Guardian or elderly one there are certain discussions you should or suppose to be the with your children. Where we parents miss it is that we think they are still children what do they know or don’t let me bother them maybe when they grow older. That how we procrastinate till their wedding day. Americans they let there children know what up at early stage of their lifes when the they have not really make mistakes. Below are some of the talks you should start having now SEX EDUCATION - : Parents do shall away from this because they though they shouldn’t corrupt their children mind. Look this 21th century where we have young professors let them know the truth, the moment they start developing expecially ladies about mestratation and all that. BUDGET - : teach them about finance, how they can priotize their needs per day. Make them realize all the needs can not be met at once resources will be most at times be inadequate so start talking now LIFE - : let them know things about life, share your experience with them your mistakes, shortcomings and success stories so that they will be able to learn and not make same or similar mistake in the future. Make them understand that life is selfish and stingy if you want something good form it you have to fight for it , so as to live a life free of guilt, bitterness and fear. to know more about how to handle family check #ADEJASS CITY

Ishilove:
Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.


Prov 22 vs 15

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch.

Quote the new testament please.

ifyalways:
Well. . .

I personally have a problem, in fact I get mad and wild when people spank children in anger as opposed to light spanking to correct when all other methods fail.

What we have these days are teachers, uncles, aunts, parents transferring their frustration and anger to children under the disguise of spanking or correcting.

PS: I didn't check the thread OP referenced.

Well said

Ishilove:
Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Lol, so how does this make Nigeria a better place? How does this eradicate corruption in Nigeria? Or our so called politicians were not discipline by thier parents with beating? Or the police were not discipline not to misbehave?

A child who will become bad person will become bad person no matter the training, beating does not solve anything(it might do little but cause more harm), because a child behave well after beating doesn't mean he/she will behave well in the future. It takes counselling many other things.

Our parents that practice this doesn't make the practice ultimately right, infact most children and even you will agree you faced some depression after you were beating, something Ike running away, fears, low-self esteem.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.


Prov 22 vs 15

The Bible is an ancient book written by archaic men, slavery is common during does era so beating a child was seen as training like a slave.

If you look at the today's world development, most countries that term child beating as child abuse are developed, most countries that still old to archaic ancient practice are still underdeveloped or developing.

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

Why not give punishment-consequences and counselling? Anyways whatever works for you.

What I know is that most children beating by parents, he/she will do same to his/her siblings and can also be agressive or have low-self esteem in school or among friends.

In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch.

Don't be surprise when you ask your child to look for cane and he/she doesn't return, don't be surprise.

Ishilove:
Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.


Prov 22 vs 15

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch.

Chisos! Evangelist Ishilove

Ishilove:
Mscheeeew. Arrant fuckery. Every child that passes through my womb MUST taste the rod. I may not be as hard with it as my parents were but they will surely feel the wrath of my hot rod when they misbehave.

Even the bible recognises this all important tool of discipline.


Prov 22 vs 15

Whop their ass with one hand, and draw them closer with the other, that's my motto.

[/b]In short, I will make you go and select the cane yourself, either from the tree in the compound or from the local koboko seller. That alone will reset your brain. The caning will just add the finishing touch[b].

They won't escape it

bigfrancis21:


Chisos! Evangelist Ishilove

Yes, dear?