No wonder I doesn't see her on nairaland again, she has goned

emperormossad:

[color=#006600][/color]. Bros sombori cannot play with you again. Lolz

Hahaha, na so na. oya shift give me the ludo dice make I throw.

Rat poison in our area is just one hundred naira and it works very fast when taken

Oma307:
you need marriage experts on this

Is there really anything like "marriage expert"? There are none my brother! marriage is as unique as we are individuals.

#LoveTheTruth

delishpot:


Hahaha, na so na. oya shift give me the ludo dice make I throw.

I don shift tey tey na...you be boss of life!

You are a very stupid man

You had a child before your marriage then kept it as a secret away from her, now she finds out, feels betrayed and you think she should clap for you?

Biko, if you woke up one morning and found out your wife had a child b4 you married her and then kept it a secret from you and you later found out, shea you will give her a pat on the back that she did too wonderfully. You give out what you cannot take. Now you come here blabbing on social media. All I can picture here is a fat immature bunch of a kid man.

If a woman came blabbing like this online, I wud even spare her small, but a man? It's disgusting

** Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me **

hahahaha !!


bros you make me laugh...pls when was it a crime to have kids outside wedlock.. buhahahhaha !!


well you initially made yourself vulnerable to her hence she use that against you


your first sin was to keep that as a secret to the woman you want to marry...who does that


intact you invented the trouble yourself



having a child at any point in time from any woman can never be seen as a mistake as long as it's your blood, rather getting married to the wrong woman is what you should see as a mistake


pls don't be so primitive


cc akpunda86
.

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

Help me understand, even if things didn't workout with your ex-gf, you both have a child.Why haven't you seen your daughter in the last 5 years?Is it because of your wife?If your wife can't stand you co-parenting your daughter with your ex, then I just don't understand.

Beey:
Help me understand, even if things didn't workout with your ex-gf, you both have a child.Why haven't you seen your daughter in the last 5 years?Is it because of your wife?If your wife can't stand you co-parenting your daughter with your ex, then I just don't understand.

I love these question


but then, I think he is too immature for marriage even though he didn't mention his age .

marriage is best handled by matured adults especially the men
.

You want to go back to your ex and mother of your child, beautiful, your ex was there when you married your wife,now your wife is now a pester and you won't mind going back to ex. What if your ex is responsible to your wives behaviour because she wants you back? It is possible, most women are evil. Oma ni , ma je ko isise, a de korirae. Women?

What I just have to say is this: we've read your version. Now, post the link of this thread to your wife, like you said you would; then, we can read her version too...

After which, we can discern the truth, and advice accordingly...

Business Is Business....


I Have Learn To Keep Personal Off Social Media!

to this thread. And we think we have problems! (Well, we all do.)

Barbii:
There are two sides of every story.. Op you said you are tired of her... When you were saying your marriage vows.. Did u say for better for worse.. You think that is just mere words.. My dear rethink.. The fact that u came online to rant makes u the same as your wife who called her people to share the news. I bet u should be in your 30s and should act mature.. Both of you should settle things together.. And please stop that mbaise thing... Because no one chose his or her tribe, state or town when coming into this world.

Thank you o! This thread is too much. Seriously. I thought all the grown-ups left Nairaland. But. . . here they are! That O.P don hear am.

delishpot:


Maybe she has fibroid which prevents implantation or hormonal imbalance such as progesterone problem which causes the body not to recognise the implanted embryo or his semen is not healthy or some other medical condition. Have you not seen a virgin having difficulty conceiving?

I know, right? That's the world we live in. Armchair OB-GYNs everywhere.

IYANGBALI:
No wonder I doesn't see her on nairaland again, she has goned

Werey! You been knowing her?

Bullhari:


you are an idiotu... I mean idiotu. you don't deserve love in your life. you had a baby through another lady. spoiled her and made her a single suffering mother. bearing the burden of raising a child alone. Then you ran to get a chassis as wife. thinking that karma is a fairy tale

Now you denied the innocent child the joy of fatherhood. You lied to your in-laws, thinking it's a secret. I believe your family also isn't aware of this abandoned child and the mother.

You took a job through your wife's uncle, used her as a bait, to satisfy your greed as usual I believe, got her pregnant 9x and maltreated her till she had miscarriages. yes you did maltreat because it's ur karma that worked against her. And all you could say to her is that you don't want to hear that story again. to you it was a story, to her they were lives, her own children. But what do you know, you are happy because you have a baby out there in the waste bin and incenarator scraping for abandoned food to eat. Instead of looking for solutions and reassuring your wife, making her feel relieved you became a pain to her, like a typical idiotu that you are.

she spoke up and you became irritated, who knows what else you had done that's still a secret? How many children you have outside your matrimonial home?
How many times have you beaten her? she told her family and you flared up, now that you have told the whole world yourself who is going to spank you?

next you are threatening to go back to the gutter where you left your abandoned child and the mother to pick dem like pieces of rag. no feeling of guilt... you don't deserve to be called a man. you don't deserve to be given a chance to live, you don't deserve to have a child. you are an idiotu. A condom would have saved the world from harzards like you.

with your poverty (deduced from what you wrote) you are still this wicked, let's see how it all ends. [size=14pt]I wish you give her d link to this post like you said, then be sure that she will leave you and your child too will someday be disappointed in you., already she is. but she will spit on your face someday, because you are an idiotu k[/size]

Thanks for this. Too many great posts here to quote them all. I don't wish to add fuel to fire because OP wrote that things have since calmed down. But yeah, there's two or more sides to every quarrel. . .

akpunda86:
There is a small firm im attached to that i got thru her uncle and any small squabble,she be calling the man,threatening she gonna sack me,at this point i told her to call the man,whether she called or not she is stupid,a woman of 32 years ,doing like a kid,a small thing she will be shouting with her voice,looking at her now and always irritates me as imsee my marriage to her as a mistake.

Marriage is a cross,but her own cross is too heavy for me to carry,a nagging woman irritates me.

Every day she wants to go,go so that ill be free,

ill send her this link so that she will follow and see comments.

What is the "small thing" she is always nagging about? It may be small to u but big to her.

By the way u sound like a 21year old. You are too immature to be married!

Billyonaire:


Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have named marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman has miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Can you even handle miscarriage once in your life without throwing tantrums ? You have virtually destroyed the woman and she is fed up. How can we tell that you are not fuccking your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child and this is making your brain soft.

Sit your asss down and be a man of the house and not some cry baby and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.

Well said. The op sounds like a dumb fool.

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

I'm pretty sure you share the lions portion of the blame. A woman has miscarried for you NINE fvcking times and you opened your razor mouth to tell her you're "tired of that kind of news". In short I stopped paying attention to your whining after that line.

Do you know the trauma she has been passing through? You deserve every treatment she is giving you. Little man

Seems you've already taken your decision. Wondering why it's here. I don't think you want advice. You're only informing us. So, we don hear.

Na lie. Cos of the like. Lienus

mhizesther:





Seriously I was about saying the same thing.

I don't see serious issue on this, the real trauma your wife has is series of miscarriages, this got to her head and make her misbehave, plus move closer to her let her know you are together, show concern and work medically and spiritually on how she also will become a mother.pls don't neglect nor divorce her... her state of unhappiness made her misbehaved ...so also talk to her not to externalise her home issues again.

Just imagine losing nine people you love with everything in you in the space of five years and your woman saying don't disturb me about that.......

She apologized for betraying your secret and you're still calling her a nag?

I'm not saying your wife is a do no wrong angel.... But her desperation for a child is obvious... She carried a dead baby in her womb for weeks.

And you're using the I already have a kid card when you're not even sure the kid is yours....
You might not be the biological father of the kid, you're not emotionally there for the kid... You call up the baby mama when you're having problems with your wife to rub it in? And you think that gives you a right to pick her up when you're too lazy to handle your marriage......


Seriously,
These ate your complaints.....
1. Your wife is a loud nag..... But you're the one down playing her pain.....
2. She betrayed you by revealing your secret.... A secret you didn't care to see for five years?!?!
How can God trust you with another.....
3. She threatens to leave.... You're talking about bringing back your ex like you're so conversant with her she's ready to move in at anytime....
4. She's threatening to get you fired.... You're her husband.... If you're a good one, there is no way she'll want you to sit at home.... And if you're good at what you do... You will not rely on family connections....

Her family members are complaining you want to kill her..... Well, you never mentioned any fault of yours apart from having a child that is supposed to be a secret so I don't know why they'll ever think you the hurt no fly fertile quiet angel would ever think of hurting the loud mouthed overly religious, infertile, nagging ogbanje.....

Grow up.... Bring your daughter in....
Love your wife and stop feeling you're a catch she should be lucky to have...

Left to me you're an irresponsible childish person!

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

Divorce her immediately. Your lovely daughter will lobe you for this.

KreativGenius:



It has happened, it had happened. You can't undo the marriage, both of you go see a counselor. This post is too heavy for the forum please. Please take it off, please

What do you mean by that? Are you the spokesperson of the forum? If you don't have what to say does it mean that others don't have? Why are you trying to shut down somebody who is pouring his emotional struggles? Don't you know that getting your emotional problems out is a form of therapy? Would you rather he sucks inside and takes irrational decision that people like you will also criticize him for? Please, if you can't advise him concerning what he said, you will do well to ignore him rather than trying to shame him for voicing out his problems.
Op, your wife is like every other woman, they normally tell their family about their husband so don't use because of that to hate her. The next woman you will bring in may also have such character, then will you drive her away also? Try and talk to her and know how you will resolve this. Marriage is full of challenges bro.

KreativGenius:



It has happened, it had happened. You can't undo the marriage, both of you go see a counselor. This post is too heavy for the forum please. Please take it off, please

...And who told you that a marriage cannot be undone?

Billyonaire:


Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have named marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman has miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Can you even handle miscarriage once in your life without throwing tantrums ? You have virtually destroyed the woman and she is fed up. How can we tell that you are not fuccking your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child and this is making your brain soft.

Sit your asss down and be a man of the house and not some cry baby and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.

A million dollar worth of advice given freely
If anybody says a contrary opinion to this! He is not your friend, single and have experience marital bliss in his life so he is out looking for bedfellows!
It seems you are truly what you accused your wife of! In all your complaints, you never said she is cheating on you and that is the only reason why a marriage can break irretrievably! Cheating!
Every other issue in marriage is a test of the union! Deal with yours man!

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

Bros u dont owe nobody any explanation. Do what u have to do and face ur new life without her. I am in d same position too,and as i tell u dis my bag is in my car heading to her hometown to get dowry i paid back. Do what u have to do to avoid becoming a murderer or ending up dead. Gudluk bro

Bamidele539:
seeems u wanna complicated issues for the OP, divorcing/marrying anoda woman is totally out of it,,,

The guy is confused!!!

akpunda86:
at kreativegenuis im wearing the shoe knows where it pains me,My marrriage to her was a mistake,the Trust has been broken.whenever she says she wants to go,i pray she meant it only to be back and she there.

e be like say her nagging attitude dey learn for where your own dey!bros you dey nag sha i throway yansh for you

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

How do you know the child you are talking about is yours? Have you done DNA to confirm paternity?

Your wife really tried keeping this your secret for 5 good years. Most women would release it in less than a year especially when they facing birth problem.

Miscarriage for women, is like losing a real child. That woman has lost 9 children. She is wounded and frustrated and depressed. Only you can make her happy by your words and action. I expect you would be gentle on her.

I am probably sure, she caught communicating with your child and ex. That would infuriate any woman. Be careful, some women can poison you when you behave that way.

That said. What is wrong with you?? Why do u agree to hide a child secret like you are a criminal especially in times when the society is accepting of baby mamas and daddy. You are the crazy one hear. Anyone knowing of your child status shouldn't bother you. You have a child and that it is! And you should involve your wife in the welfare of the child.

Lastly, don't threaten your wife with your child and ex. That is a no no. Any woman can strike you in her condition. Are you not afraid!!! If you can't afford to be nice to her now, Just run away. You can divorce her some other day.

Anyway, your wife seems good. You are the one not handling things well. And you can start being nice this minute. Goodluck

akpunda86:
i wrote this story when i was boiling,i have forgotten it and now nairaland bringing it up to front page,

Ok the ladies have all insulted me THANK YOU.Welli told my wife before marriage that i havea kid outside and i told the mum.just the two,but if the mum goes ahead and tells the sistas and brodas,i dont know but my little daugter called me and my wife flamed up and said that its not only her that i have that i have many kids outside.

WELL SHE HAS APOLOGISED SINCE BUT AS ALWAYS WILL DO AGAIN ANODA ONE.ITs not her fault for the miscarriages but its painful and having physchological effects on me.

For the ladies that insulted meand are insulting me thank you,
for the men that understand thank u

for my wife i love her but her nagging irritates me

Thank u all hope she changes ,im too old for all her naggs,wanna liveand die in peace,thank u all.
my name is akpunda but her nagg makes me weak

U never see nagging!!! If U don't av a child out of wedlock is a different ball game. Her miscarriages caused the sudden change in her behaviour. Av been there I know what am saying.

When I got married, my wife had close to a year delay to conceive, dat was wen I knew women don't joke with babies once dey re married.

My wife's behavior changed. Once a loving caring lady turned to a nagging lady. It was quarrels at every slightest provocation.

Thank God I understood her,most times I will calmed her encouraged her. She got tired of nagging after all and she got pregnant after treating PID.

Do u know throughout dis period no 3rd party knew abt our incessant fights. If I frustrated her during dat period she too cud tell her family members. Marriage is abt maturity!

Back to you OP, Insecurity will set in wen she thinks abt ur daughter. She needs ur support, she didn't create herself to av miscarriages. U Sudnt use her predicament to mock her.

Both of u sud go for medical checkup.

Please don't leave ur wife!!

akpunda86:
Just answer me is it right. For a wife to divulge hubby secrets to an elderly sista.

I'm a consultant. To her uncle firm and she dry threaten me by placing prank calls. To her uncle.

We were advised to remove a dead foetus but my wife carried it for weeks and went with the sista to oyedepo.prayed for her still na me carry her go hospital. For evacuation. My words don't. Stand na her family. But now her eye open,i want her to go she no gree.im tired of threats.

I hate all these family business ehn!

i cant comment cos im yet to have a gf talkless of wife or kid but bro it is not something u can do on nairaland although my nairalanders will always give u d best advice but it is a decision u must make urself and d decision u make will determine whether ur marriage crash or not so think wisely b4 u act