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"Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Adakintroy: 1:20pm On Nov 20, 2017
thesicilian:
It's too late to cry when the head is off. The nice guys are now going for good girls also.


Bros free her na..she Don learn.

Welcome home dear!

You will get your heart desire.

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nuzo1(m): 1:23pm On Nov 20, 2017
For the most part, this letter/mindset is very deceptive and delusional.

Your definition of a bad boy is actually a guy who is clearly not interested in being in any form of relationship with you other than sex relationship. These so-called bad boys usually make their position clear from day one. But as an emotional blackmailer you are, you have to a large extent exonerate your delusional self from your bad relationship choices.

You now seek for the nice guys because you are getting older and need somebody to manipulate.

Nice guy, better RUN for your dear life and for the sake of your sanity.

8 Likes

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by madridguy(m): 1:24pm On Nov 20, 2017
So touching kiss kiss
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by yemmie(m): 1:25pm On Nov 20, 2017
pocohantas:
It's on NL, I see threads trying to make nice guys come off as fools. I keep asking, who is a nice guy? Who is a bad guy?

Let 'nice guys' be.
So many ladies still find them attractive.
All around me, I see nice responsible guys getting married every weekend. They're very much in demand.

Don't try to subtly coerce them into changing. There's a woman for every man.

But don’t give me high blood pressure trying to prove your feminism
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by pocohantas(f): 1:26pm On Nov 20, 2017
Blackfyre:
Someone is making this issue about men, asking who is a nice guy who is a bad guy..... That one no concern any of us here....men know who they are...She should first answer us who is a nice girl and who a bad girl is!....

My dear, give up this your side comments and quote me straight up. Then I will put you in your place.
Are you the one to tell me what to ask?
Who said men don't know who they are?
Is this thread about nice/bad girls, so why should I answer that question for us YOU? ? grin grin
Speak for yourself and stop the "e no concern any of us here". You're alone in this game of throwing tantrums.


Blackfyre:

You have the wrong idea of a bad guy to a nice guy...no vex, how old are you?

This is your question to a lady, you feel she has a wrong idea of a nice and bad guy. Then I asked questions and you are making side comments? What kind of confusion is this?

Blackfyre:


No need for euphemisms, call him for what he is, he is a sissy not a nice guy... Now do you care to share the things you did to him that he tolerated and he shouldn't have?

Just look at the confusion. So what's the difference between this and my post he was so quick to throw side comments at. Try it another day, you'll tell me if I owe you money.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 1:29pm On Nov 20, 2017
Blackfyre:


You have the wrong idea of a bad guy to a nice guy...no vex, how old are you?

Well, I know I was with one who took all the crap from me no sane, self- respecting man should take from anyone. Even so, It was I who left.

He was a very 'nice guy' which by the way I think is a euphemism for a sissy.
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Yeligray(m): 1:32pm On Nov 20, 2017
Evablizin:
shocked


So nah nice guyz weh deserve leftover abi? When nice guyz were begging and pleading,you snubbed them,well nice guyz over to you guyz.
swrz... If only they knew what they had lost

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 1:32pm On Nov 20, 2017
TSOM:

[/b]

There's no one fits-it-all definition of a 'bad boy'...or a 'nice guy'; but a 'nice guy' in the context used by the thread creator, is one who's, not only chilvarous, but ditches his pride and dignity and belittles himself for a female he admires.



[

That's the OP's definition of a "nice guy". But in the real sense, that type of " nice guy" is a servile dimwit with no pride or self-worth. The Heavens forbid I play blind while any guy within my circle of close acquaintances act like that.

I am.not interested in debating this matter with you tho but to correct you assertion above



Dear Nice Guy,

I don’t know you yet but I’m so ready to date you. Seriously, I am. For a long time, I dated bad boys. Yes, I was that girl you blame for always coming in last. I guess I dated bad boys because, somehow, I liked their unavailability, sexy sideways glances, and late-night calls. I fed off the chase and mystery they provided me. I saw them as a challenge that I always happily accepted. Let me tell you, I’ve dated so many jerks throughout the years. A lot of times, I ended up being disappointed with how it ended with them, and wondered why I always had such blind optimism about these guys I clearly knew were jerks to begin with. But to be honest, I don’t regret any of it now.

I learned a lot from each and every one of those bad boys. I learned something from every un-answered text, from every “I’m just not looking for a relationship” talk, and from every lame excuse as to why he just couldn’t make to my house party until after 1 am. I guess I never let the jerks get to me. I realized it was never me; it was always them. I was born with an abundance of self-confidence. Maybe that’s why I was never too bothered by each guy who was a jerk to me. Maybe it was because I was smart enough to realize I never actually wanted to end up with a jerk. It was always you I wanted, Nice Guy.

With all that being said, I’m ready to date a Nice Guy. I’ve learned all the lessons I need to learn from bad boys. I now have the ability to distinguish between when to give up on a relationship and when to fight harder. I know all the excuses and lies and can see when it’s right to say a big ‘f*ck you’ or an ‘okay, I’ll let you make it up to me.’ I know what it’s like get all dressed up for a night out only to sit in your room watching Netflix, crying and staring at your phone because the person you had plans with never showed. And that a “got too drunk sorry” text is not a sufficient excuse or apology. I know all these things. My mom always said that the problem with people who end up unhappy is that they don’t know how to walk away from something that has already served it purpose. Well, I can see now that bad boys have served all the purpose they possibly could in my life and that it’s time for me to learn a new lesson. I want to learn from you, Nice Guy.

It’s time for me to learn what its like to have someone to fall back on when I feel weak. It’s time for me to understand what its like to open up to someone without the fear that I’ll be emotionally shamed or that it will scare them away. It’s time for me to understand why people write love songs or tear up at the end of the notebook. I want to know what it’s like to be desired for more than my body, for someone to look at me with passionate eyes, slowly but surely falling in love with my mind, body and soul.

I want to know what it’s like to have someone who will always show up, who will always make time for me and who will always respect me. I want to know what it’s like to be able to count on someone, and know that even though love is never safe, I will be safely hurt by them. Mostly, I know I can learn all these things from you, Nice Guy.

I don’t want anyone thinking I hate bad boys. I don’t hate them; I’m just done with them. I have to thank bad boys for a lot actually. Bad boys have taught me how to depend on myself. How to pick up my broken pieces. They’ve allowed me to secure the perfect break-up remedy. Booze, friends, rebounds, cry, workout, acceptance, find new bad boy, repeat.

I understand myself so much better because of these bad boys. I know what I’m like at my worst. But I’m ready to know what I’m like at my best.

I promise you this, Nice Guy: I don’t know you yet, but I will be a nice girl to you in return. I will show you what you’re like at you’re best. I will treat you with the respect you deserve and will always answer your call when you need me. I will show you what all those bitchy girls couldn’t.

So, I guess all there is left to say is…




Pay attention to the emboldened, they either stated what the bad boys did to her or what they couldn't do to her. Once you find a letter that states otherwise and aligns to what you erroneously stated, you can create a thread for that...

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by DozieInc(m): 1:32pm On Nov 20, 2017
LaEvilIMiss:
hahahaha ahaahaha it always comes down to old-age and maturity and as the world would have it.. it only comes from Experiencing (since mumu's never want to learn from Elders) it yourself. Sadly 50% of it is by Choice and the other 50% by Circumstance.

Choice because every decision we make comes as a matter of choice. if it is a hard-choice then make a sacrifice to make the right choice and not just give in to circumstances.

Circumstances because we do not choose the circumstances under which we are conceived. could be in a Club trying to be babymamas to 2face and wizkid or davido or worse some broke-ass fcukboy forming swagger with codeine and SK.. viola! you came about grin grin or could be your parents were not privileged and had to make do with what they could spare making you hustle the rest in the midst of sexual vultures in Lagos. Your parents could still be well-to-do but you just love badt guyz.. welcome to Karma biiitch!

Nice Guys.. stay focused and hustle smart and hard.. there is a priceless virtue in being nice.. it kills the ignorant stereotype the girls love Alpha-males. It is not a virtue but a trait needed to survive in the age of dinosaurs.. not today
Makes sense wink
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 1:35pm On Nov 20, 2017
UBGG:


Well, I know I was with one who took all the crap from me no sane, self- respecting man should take from anyone. Even so, It was I who left.

He was a very 'nice guy' which by the way I think is a euphemism for a sissy.

No need for euphemisms, call him for what he is, he is a sissy not a nice guy...


Now do you care to share the things you did to him that he tolerated and he shouldn't have?

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by pocohantas(f): 1:35pm On Nov 20, 2017
yemmie:


But don’t give me high blood pressure trying to prove your feminism

I see no correlation between the topic at hand, high blood pressure and feminism. I am not the owner of feminism.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by thesicilian: 1:36pm On Nov 20, 2017
Adakintroy:



Bros free her na..she Don learn.

Welcome home dear!

You will get your heart desire.
Okay o, give her your house address now.
She na you go come chop the 'kanda' of the meat way others chop remain?
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by openmine(m): 1:37pm On Nov 20, 2017
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Seriously speaking,some ladies just don't know what they want...

..U date a bad guy and U want him to be committed to U forever....

....then U date a nice guy,and U say he is too boring?

Sum years ago,there is this cousin of mine whom I always see during weekends....any time I get to his place,I always see a different lady...and just to massage d lady's ego,he will say this out loud in her presence "Bro this na my wife ohh"

And i paused and started wondering if this guy wants to go into polygamy....lol

He finally married a totally different lady whom I hardly knew...

My question is what happened to those other ladies dat he had or called his wife?


Until some ladies know wat dey want, sum of dese guys will keep using and dumping them only to marry a quiet and nice lady later on!

A word is more than enough for a wise Lady!

5 Likes

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Zivaharry(m): 1:44pm On Nov 20, 2017
Evablizin:
shocked


So nah nice guyz weh deserve leftover abi? When nice guyz were begging and pleading,you snubbed them,well nice guyz over to you guyz.
hahahahahaha

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Zivaharry(m): 1:46pm On Nov 20, 2017
Tapout:


Bro help me out with the coded message na pls... I no get strength to read between any line cry
even me need it self.......
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by figure007(m): 1:46pm On Nov 20, 2017
johnime:
am a pretty girl with welcoming attributes, a 19 years old 300 level student. But I think something is wrong with me, at times I think and end up tearing so bad.
Ever since my last relationship by last year November, it's been difficult getting another date, at first I didn't consider it an issue cos I know am pretty and young too but right now I can't help but panic.. Have been single for a whole year, no sex, no fling, no boyfriend. Is something wrong with meOr did my ex bf curse me?? I don't know.

Apart from my parents, I don't have any guy at all that could dash me even 5k, not even subscription. Nlers please is something wrong with me?? The funny and annoying thing is that most people don't even believe I don't have a boyfriend, they are always like "fine girl like you?? Na lie jor".

Am just confused and worried. Isn't this something I should be worried about Am not disabled ooo, am not ugly at all, I don't have bad personality. Am even a seamstress ooo plus my academic excellence. So please what's the problem I know a lot of bad girls with bf that would die for them, ugly girls too. And I wonder if I have an issue I can't see. Have always wished to marry immediately after my N.Y.S.C, but is this how I will marry when I can't even get myself a boyfriend??
P.S. that my ex is the only guy have dated and it took me months to get over him. Now I believe am fully over him but I can't get another date..
nlers followers something is wrong with me right Please my identity should be hidden
check your character and pray more. That's all... Men now look at character before even proposing lately.. No one wanna stick to vashti or Delilah
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by cstr1000: 1:50pm On Nov 20, 2017
TSOM:
Chivalry is a means to an end.
Be vague, be smooth ( super smooth), be curt when you should be but never let any woman take you for granted.

Talk that talk, walk that walk but never be predictable or do what every other guy does.

Once you master words and its power, you could become a nice guy with a 'bad boy' persona.

[b]Women never take Misters Nice Guy seriously, ever
. [/b]
That is a shame though, because that is exactly who they need for the long haul .
Human beings are always extreme. You are either too nice or too brash. And being too nice is the better option 10 times out of 10.

I am not a nice guy but I want to learn to be nice.
Time don reach na.
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by That3: 1:50pm On Nov 20, 2017
UBGG:
I'd still take the 'bad guy' over them 'nice guy'.

Who would want to be with a pathetic yes-man forever? I know not me.

Be strong. Dominate me. Know who you are. Support me when it's right. Put me in my position when it's wrong. Be Alpha male.

See them, After your hole(s) have been expanded beyond measure with countless abortions and over used slippers bóobs you will start looking for one good boy to settle with so you can escape the shame of not being called "Mrs". This is the kind of women that are very active in church, all services looking for one good guy to trap. Dear lord, I have only one request from you lord. DON'T LET ME BE THE NICE GUY.

If i am to be a nice guy then i deserved a nice lady. If i am a virgin as a guy then why should i bother myself with a lady whose holes have been expanded geometrically? Lord let me be sharp even as a nice guy so i don't end up with these whóres.

7 Likes

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Sanctecosma(m): 1:53pm On Nov 20, 2017
OEPHIUS:
Dear Nice Guy,

I don’t know you yet but I’m so ready to date you. Seriously, I am. For a long time, I dated bad boys. Yes, I was that girl you blame for always coming in last. I guess I dated bad boys because, somehow, I liked their unavailability, sexy sideways glances, and late-night calls. I fed off the chase and mystery they provided me. I saw them as a challenge that I always happily accepted. Let me tell you, I’ve dated so many jerks throughout the years. A lot of times, I ended up being disappointed with how it ended with them, and wondered why I always had such blind optimism about these guys I clearly knew were jerks to begin with. But to be honest, I don’t regret any of it now.

I learned a lot from each and every one of those bad boys. I learned something from every un-answered text, from every “I’m just not looking for a relationship” talk, and from every lame excuse as to why he just couldn’t make to my house party until after 1 am. I guess I never let the jerks get to me. I realized it was never me; it was always them. I was born with an abundance of self-confidence. Maybe that’s why I was never too bothered by each guy who was a jerk to me. Maybe it was because I was smart enough to realize I never actually wanted to end up with a jerk. It was always you I wanted, Nice Guy.

With all that being said, I’m ready to date a Nice Guy. I’ve learned all the lessons I need to learn from bad boys. I now have the ability to distinguish between when to give up on a relationship and when to fight harder. I know all the excuses and lies and can see when it’s right to say a big ‘f*ck you’ or an ‘okay, I’ll let you make it up to me.’ I know what it’s like get all dressed up for a night out only to sit in your room watching Netflix, crying and staring at your phone because the person you had plans with never showed. And that a “got too drunk sorry” text is not a sufficient excuse or apology. I know all these things. My mom always said that the problem with people who end up unhappy is that they don’t know how to walk away from something that has already served it purpose. Well, I can see now that bad boys have served all the purpose they possibly could in my life and that it’s time for me to learn a new lesson. I want to learn from you, Nice Guy.

It’s time for me to learn what its like to have someone to fall back on when I feel weak. It’s time for me to understand what its like to open up to someone without the fear that I’ll be emotionally shamed or that it will scare them away. It’s time for me to understand why people write love songs or tear up at the end of the notebook. I want to know what it’s like to be desired for more than my body, for someone to look at me with passionate eyes, slowly but surely falling in love with my mind, body and soul.

I want to know what it’s like to have someone who will always show up, who will always make time for me and who will always respect me. I want to know what it’s like to be able to count on someone, and know that even though love is never safe, I will be safely hurt by them. Mostly, I know I can learn all these things from you, Nice Guy.

I don’t want anyone thinking I hate bad boys. I don’t hate them; I’m just done with them. I have to thank bad boys for a lot actually. Bad boys have taught me how to depend on myself. How to pick up my broken pieces. They’ve allowed me to secure the perfect break-up remedy. Booze, friends, rebounds, cry, workout, acceptance, find new bad boy, repeat.

I understand myself so much better because of these bad boys. I know what I’m like at my worst. But I’m ready to know what I’m like at my best.

I promise you this, Nice Guy: I don’t know you yet, but I will be a nice girl to you in return. I will show you what you’re like at you’re best. I will treat you with the respect you deserve and will always answer your call when you need me. I will show you what all those bitchy girls couldn’t.

So, I guess all there is left to say is…

I’m ready whenever you are. TC Mark

https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/04/dear-nice-guy-i-wasnt-ready-for-you-before-but-i-am-now/
https://twitter.com/C_NyaKundiH/status/932296171623796736
Mind you, nice guys' lanes aren't festooned with roses. You can be sure of eye opening lessons to learn as well. With that in mind, be sure you have you're ready (and with ur thinking cap on) for unprecedented surprises as you go on that "expedition".
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by tensazangetsu20(m): 1:53pm On Nov 20, 2017
pocohantas:
It's on NL, I see threads trying to make nice guys come off as fools. I keep asking, who is a nice guy? Who is a bad guy?

Let 'nice guys' be.
So many ladies still find them attractive.
All around me, I see nice responsible guys getting married every weekend. They're very much in demand.

Don't try to subtly coerce them into changing. There's a woman for every man.
There's a man for every woman and not the other way around. Men outnumber women by 5 to 1. For every 1 woman you have 5 men.
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by drey69(m): 1:55pm On Nov 20, 2017
markode777:
One more thing: State the number of abortions you have done....5, 6 or 8? lets know, so that you won't put this "mumu" nice guy that will come for you hopes of having kids in jeopardy.

I know a girl who has aborted up to 4 times and she is 21.

That one pain you? I know a girl that has aborted 3 times (last one was aided by her mom) and her destiny used twice by G boys she'll be 20 in Jan

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by no1madman(m): 1:55pm On Nov 20, 2017
My penisss is nice
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by DozieInc(m): 1:57pm On Nov 20, 2017
TSOM:

You do realize you don't have to smoke, drink, do drugs or be caught up in vices to be a 'bad boy', right?

Being a 'bad boy' doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a serial cheat who's scared of commitments.


There's no one fits-it-all definition of a 'bad boy'...or a 'nice guy'; but a 'nice guy' in the context used by the thread creator, is one who's, not only chilvarous, but ditches his pride and dignity and belittles himself for a female he admires.

The one who'd call four times in a roll until she picks her call by 10.00pm and send her a good morning text eight hours later.

The one who'd accept the "I was too busy to pick your calls or call you back" or "I don't have airtime on my phone to call" excuse when you inquire why she doesn't call even when you call her regularly.


The one who wouldn't mind her chatting with other people on her phone when you both create time to hang out.

That's the OP's definition of a "nice guy". But in the real sense, that type of " nice guy" is a servile dimwit with no pride or self-worth. The Heavens forbid I play blind while any guy within my circle of close acquaintances acts like that.
on point bro. smiley
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by no1madman(m): 2:00pm On Nov 20, 2017
[img][/img]

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 2:02pm On Nov 20, 2017
Like I cared for your quotes or your opinion, it was just a bait.... grin

Let me return my pistol, the bullet is not meant for you...

I intend to take the kill shot...cheesy
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by ladenz(m): 2:03pm On Nov 20, 2017
Eeeeeyah. Sorry but that time you rejected me i went and marry. But my son is available sha (I never born am o, maybe next year). I'll be happy to be your father in law in the next 20 something years
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by TSOM(m): 2:04pm On Nov 20, 2017
cstr1000:

That is a shame though, because that is exactly who they need for the long haul .
Human beings are always extreme. You are either too nice or too brash. And being too nice is the better option 10 times out of 10.

I am not a nice guy but I want to learn to be nice.
Time don reach na.
Again, it depends on the definition of a nice guy and the context.

Would I assault a female physically who didn't initiate the assault? No.

Would I be unwarrantedly cruel to random women? No.


Would I feed their ego or lower my self-worth and pride or make myself look stupid , silly or be taken for a ride just to please her? Hell would have to freeze over first.

Still, by society's standards, I am a 'nice guy' but to a girl who's looking to extort from or exploit men and make them feed her ego, I am a 'bad guy'.

It all depends on your definition of a bad guy and a nice guy.

1 Like

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by pocohantas(f): 2:08pm On Nov 20, 2017
Blackfyre:

Like I cared for your quotes or your opinion, it was just a bait.... grin
Let me return my pistol, the bullet is not meant for you...
I intend to take the kill shot...cheesy

Kid, keep using reverse psychology. That'll work for someone that doesn't know you. Kill shot indeed...delude yourself cheesy cheesy
You see how I am quoting you direct? Grow some balls and do same. Quit the 'it was just a bait', so I can know how to table your matter kiss

2 Likes

Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 2:10pm On Nov 20, 2017
Oya table the matter na, I am waiting....you want me to speak first? cheesy

Oya talk, let's hear
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by rolams(m): 2:20pm On Nov 20, 2017
who be this?
Re: "Dear Nice Guy, I Wasn’t Ready For You Before, But I Am Now" by Nobody: 2:26pm On Nov 20, 2017
If una discuss finish...make your move....

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