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My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Wife To Husband; Yes I Slept With Another Man. What Should He Do? / Bob-manuel Don-christian: 'My Wife Had A Son For Another Man' / My Wife Had An Affair!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by HORLADSTAR(m): 10:29am On Nov 23, 2017
KILL YOURSELF.THIS IS NOTIN BUT A MUMU QUESTION IN DISGUISE
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by deafeyez: 10:29am On Nov 23, 2017
udemejack:
you been wan make she use your surname?....
Issit your sperm?.

grin
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by samsam2019: 10:29am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.
wait ooo, were you expecting her to use your name as the surname?



You mean you want t to inherit another man's child?



This is how they assassin to people like you.



The boy is not yours!!!! Why would you want him to hear your name? Are you mad?
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by joenor(m): 10:30am On Nov 23, 2017
Na wah oo, he don dey reach the stage when person go dey single all he life. Nine make a writer say after devil fear woman.... I heard of a story of two young couple, that both were living in same house, do everything together n not knowing that the woman has something x in mind... The guy is well to do n both were living happy, even if you see them to marry go hungry u, Just for the woman to get belle born come tell the man say the fine baby nor b him own.... My broda when I hear the gist, he just belike say na me he happen to. I weak!

My brother.. if the father is still alive, then the woman should take the child to him, n stop bug you with another man wahala
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by kingthreat(m): 10:30am On Nov 23, 2017
Shes using you to take care of her and her children for NOW. You better tell her your thoughts and your stand right now. Worst come to worst. Leave the house for them. Be paying only her rent and food money. Let her contact the son's father for the rest untill she comes to he senses,

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by IfoyinTEDO(f): 10:30am On Nov 23, 2017
mofedamijo:

"....ur family name is vital to your family,for me my surname is my clan name n only us use that name in the world"
I giggled when I read this! Type your family name on facebook and see if you can identify everyone answering that name there.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Coolbadguy: 10:30am On Nov 23, 2017
To be sincere with this issue brother, just accept it the way it is since you have not legally adopted the child, you should forget about the name she use in registering the child or the name the child is Answering, just love the child, since you love your wife and you accepted the child before you got married to her .. I have a friend with this same situation and after some years every thing is going fine even though the child is Answering another man's name. To me just forget about the issue and move on and show love to the kid.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 10:31am On Nov 23, 2017
Oyindidi:
Him give her belle and she move in to stay with him. He met her when the boy was less than a year. All this girls matter tire me
chineke nna!! shocked
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by deafeyez: 10:32am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

The thing dey vex you?
Change the boy from him school to another then register him with your name. grin
This vex now, na your wife go dey vex while you calm her down.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by mecussey(m): 10:32am On Nov 23, 2017
Moreoffaith:
You are just too funny bro

i dont see anything wrong in Registering the baby with his real fathers name,

You said you accepted her and the baby, does that mean you are the real father?

Do yours for God bro, This baby boy is surely your pride tomorrow..

Have a great day my brother.

I wonder ooo...train the child if you love him. He will love you in return...name no matter here. Na people dey carry maid train from primary 1 to uni until they become somebody.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 10:32am On Nov 23, 2017
What would your wife do if the guy make passes at her again. Ponder, my brother. These hoes ain't loyal.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by OMEGA009(m): 10:33am On Nov 23, 2017
[quote author=royalamour post=62637399]A year plus and your wife already have another child for you?

How did it happen?

How many months did you date her before tying the knot?

Did she cheat you with the said man?

Are you smart at all?

The most sensible quote on this thread.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by jaxxy(m): 10:34am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Don't put d blame on her yet she may think u won't want the child u bear ur name or smtn bt I think she shud have told u 1st before taking such decision as a sign or regard for ur position in her life and the kids life even if she chooses to use his biological dads name.

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Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by adetem(m): 10:35am On Nov 23, 2017
Believe this, your wife sleeping with that her ex (the boi father). If you want to get her, first tell her that you don't want that boi to stay with u and he should go and meet his father. Her reaction will give u correct answer.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by bfmconcepts: 10:36am On Nov 23, 2017
The only issue here is if she told you about her previous status as a single mother. If she didn't, then, something is wrong. If she did, she has not done anything wrong.
She can never register another man's child with your own name. Don't even accept it if she tries it.
Understand that the child can grow to love you and be a son, but you let him understand the situation that surrounds his birth as events unfold. Keep the issue for now, but let the son know later.
If your wife is OK by you, go on with your life. No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by mecussey(m): 10:36am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Bro name no matter, na people dey carry maid train from primary 1 to university level. Anyday the father comes, give him back his boy, he will appreciate your effort and the son wont forget you easily. If you dont have the financial capability at the moment, tell ur wife to take him back to his father or to wherever he belongs.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by drololaaof: 10:36am On Nov 23, 2017
Many unanswered question here, did the woman tell you about the child,what is the reason for the man abandoning or rejecting the pregnancy? Are you married legally with this woman now? If yes accept the boy take care of him like your son please don't be hostile to him ,you don't know tomorrow,if by tomorrow or next the father come to claim or to take responsibility fine,it is better he bear his fathers name.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Moreoffaith(m): 10:36am On Nov 23, 2017
mecussey:


I wonder ooo...train the child if you love him. He will love you in return...name no matter here. Na people dey carry maid train from primary 1 to uni until they become somebody.



I tire for the guy abeg.... see as e come expose him family on social media unto wetin no make sense..

He wan make the boy carry him name wen he no be him son.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by tonio2wo: 10:36am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

simple, just tell her to change the child's last name to yours or you withdraw all forms of care for the child or she takes the child to his father.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 10:41am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

Much ado about nothing!
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by tintingz(m): 10:42am On Nov 23, 2017
In developed countries, the father out to be doing the child support if evidence shows the real father owns the child or he will be restricted from seeing the child.

But here in Nigeria is the opposite.

Well I don't see anything wrong taking care of the child and the child bearing the real father's surname, it's your choice to make, if you're ready to take up the financial and emotional responsibilities of the child it's your decision to make.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Onyenna(m): 10:42am On Nov 23, 2017
olagoke157:
please if there is anyone here that knows someone that sells big size palm slippers/slip ons please just mssg me or quote ..and shoes please...preferably size 46....like d ones in d pics

I know someone who manufactures footwears....any size, any style/design....
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by ogunladeabiodun: 10:44am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.
what name is on the birth certificate?
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by olushowunm(m): 10:45am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.
That's the right thing to do Oga. Because the boy is not yours. Let the boy bear his father's name. Because it will save you a lot of heartache in the future. If the boy bears ur name, you will be surprised he will be locked in legal battel with your children over properties. So let him bear his father's name and don't stop taking care of the boy. He might be the best thing to happen to you. The boy will decide who is the father and fada later on in life.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Ernesthugo(m): 10:46am On Nov 23, 2017
You dont really need our advice,speak to her that u want to father d child and the surname should be to u and nt the other way round,the child is just 2,am certain he is calling u daddy now. So u as the Head the boy needs to answer ur name or she takes him out to either her parent or d real dad.
ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by mofedamijo(m): 10:46am On Nov 23, 2017
IfoyinTEDO:
I giggled when I read this! Type your family name on facebook and see if you can identify everyone answering that name there.
My dear u have no idea....i studied in the university of maiduguri,n we wer about 15 of us then,b4 i graduated n i know all of them,for the record,my two uncles re profs,one in Maiduguri n one in ile ife,i cant recognize all,even on instagram i cant recognise all,buh once the person mentions the dads name n sch d dad attended my dad somhw gets to know the parents,i went for an interview somtyms bck,n som1 who is not from my state noticed the name n confirmed it,he asked bou 5 of them that he knows n i happen to know them all,yea i can’t know them all,but its just one,its a clan name not a general one........nobody bears the name except from the clan,take that to the bank my dear.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by eodavids(m): 10:47am On Nov 23, 2017
adudu208:

I don't see any issue here.

The boy has a real father and no amount of manipulation from you can change that.
Whether the father is in his life or not is another issue which has nothing to do with the name of the child.

Suggesting she should have used her maiden name is lame. Why will you be comfortable with that and yet uncomfortable with her using the real father's name? Do you want that kid to be called a bastard? He has a father for christ-sake.

You are just being jealousy and petty for nothing. In my opinion she did the right thing. If you want to be responsible for what that child should be called then legally adopt him.

Nobody forced the mother on you hence you should just grow up and stop making an issue over something that in reality is not.

That the kid is in your house doesn't give you the right to ostracize him from his biological father.

If the kid were to be a female and in the future when she wants to marry who do you think will collect the bride price? You, grandfather or the biological father?

Bro, this is the kind of things women argue over and not men.

Today it is the name you have an issue with, God knows what else you will complain about tomorrow.

You are not helping matters at all, with due respect.

You just made your comment as a robot.

Put your self in the OP's shoe.
You married a woman whom another man succeeded in putting in the family way earlier on.

You, having a heart of gold, accepted the innocent child to come live in your matrimonial home while you serve as the loco-parentis.

With your scarce resources, you take care of the child the way a man does for his biological son.
Then as the child enroll into school, your wife suddenly remembered that the person who impregnated her (and probably slept with her during that pregnancy) was someone other than your good self. She did not just stop at remembering 'that guy' but went ahead to give the guy the honour of owning the boy's surname.

She should have at least told the husband:
"Our son needs a surname. Should he answer "xx"?

If you are in OP's shoe, you will feel sidelined.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by sallyopy(f): 10:48am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.
sorry bro, as a woman, that is the best she can do for the child. This however doesn't stop you from taking care of the child if u can, believe me, it doesn't matter. The boy will see u as his savior and consider you as his father. Your wife just did what she needs to do as a mother.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Afritop(m): 10:49am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.
And both your mother and father in law did not tell you that their daughter already has a son before nailing her to you
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by jaychubi: 10:51am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

It's not ur son u r jst a care taker

Ppl take other ppl children and train them from one to 30 yrs.

Do what another man's son to bear ur name, I think dt is foolish. That boy shld ve been left with ur wife's mother n nt living in ur house. Then u can help from a distance
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by efighter: 10:52am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.

This guy is married to a gold digger who is suffering from megalomania which is worse than narcissism. She is married to you because of what she can get from you. She also wants to be attached to her baby daddy because of what she might get from the baby daddy. When she sees another rich guy, she will start dating him while still married to you because of what she can get from the new rich guy.

Now, tell me, why did you marry someone else' baby mama? Haven't you read severally on social media that no reasonable guy should marry a woman who has a baby for another man? Marry 'after one'? God forbids. Is that the best you could do? I think you ready undervalue yourself to have married an 'after one'.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by ashjay001(m): 10:53am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.


How long did u date? For her to have a kid less than 2yrs, without ur knowledge n still av a daughter for u, within dat same period



Something doesnt add up!

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