Being a good Dad to me is a herculean task which involves making lots of sacrifices. I never had enough time to know my dad very well because i am from a divided polygamous family. My parents separated when i was young so i was brought by a single mom but nevertheless i am not ready to pass on the absence of fatherhood to my children.

It is possible your Dad didn’t explicitly tell you these things when you became a parent, but he probably demonstrated at least some of them to you in actions if not words when you were growing up.  Please allow me to take the liberty to point them out to you more directly now.  In fact, it is my Dad-O-Matic duty to do so! 

Disclaimer: Though I try to be the best Dad I can, I am guilty of not always remembering and adhering to my own advice, so this post is as much a reminder for me as it may be for you!

5 Tips on Fatherhood Your Dad Never Told You:

1) Listen.  Despite our dominant position of authority as “the parent,” it is NOT always about us.  Stop and LISTEN to your kids once in a while.  I often catch myself taking over the conversation, so I am trying to make a more conscious attempt to let THEM do the talking for a change.  Regardless of the subject matter, if it is important enough for them to want to tell you, it is important enough for us to be interested.  Whether they are telling you about the frog they stepped on, their favorite flavor of chewing gum or describing an elaborate classroom math equation you will never understand, listen and be INTERESTED.  Our kids crave and value our interest in their lives and activities far more than we realize.

2) Share.  Share your adult life with your kids.  Times are tough and we are all working really hard to make ends meet and provide for our families.  If you work a lot and spend a lot of time on your job, share it with your kids.  Tell them what you are doing at work and why.  Tell them what you like about your job and what you don’t.

3) Be Ridiculous.  You can NEVER embarrass yourself in front of your kids.  Anything silly you do will be enjoyed and remembered by your kids.  The sillier the better.  Inhibitions are not an excuse.  If you cower at the thought of Karaoke, you should be proud to sing off key for your kids (and do so often).  If you are a polished fashionable type you should be daring and dress in mismatched rags once in a while to make your kids smile.  Shopping with your kids?  Startle them and talk in complete gibberish to the cashier (and wink knowingly to your kids) as the cashier looks at you as a crazy person and calls for their manager (then, laugh with your kids and of course pay for the goods).  These are some of the moments your kids will remember forever, so as long as nobody can get hurt, if you have a secret urge to be “wild and crazy,” go for it!

4) Teach.  Anything and everything.  Anything you do, if your kids are present, it is an opportunity to teach them.  If you are fixing a light-switch (or engaged in any other household chore) if they come by don’t send them away as if they are a bother because “daddy is busy.”  Instead, take a moment and show them what you are doing.  An annoying chore like fixing a switch can turn into a quick and fun lesson on electricity.

5) Say “I LOVE YOU” – a lot! These three words are invincible.  They are tougher than Teflon or Titanium, stronger than Stainless Steel and more durable than a Diamond.  The words “I LOVE YOU” can never be worn down or overused.  Plus, they are as satisfying and rewarding to say as to hear, and the more you say it, the more you will hear it.  The “L” word is awesome, but don’t just say it, MEAN IT!

What do you think?  What things would you like to add to this list?  Let’s grow this list together in the comments!

Nice tips, growing up i learnt being a good dad is a lot more than merely "enforcing the rules". Kids dont learn so much when you are harsh and insistent, they just grow up to resent your presence.

Play games with the kids, it makes the bond between you much stronger.
when you spank them, do not do this in anger . . . make sure they are 100% clear on WHY this is being done. They will thank you for it later.

I am a father and also guilty of the tips above,my job takes most of my time,i think i need to create time for my boy. I am learning again here,thank you guys.

great topic man. . .

another nice one is, kids learn more from watching you than listening to you, so you should work at becoming someone you would want your kids to emulate!

I love this! I can never argue with my kids, not just my biological kids, any kid around, they're the most genuinely intelligent set of beings living. Don't act tough unnecessarily, be firm but fair.

Nice one! I loved the 'be ridiculous' part.

So nice to see a guy loving every aspect of being a dad.

Show love and affection to their mother in their presence.
Never counter their mother's instruction to them in their presence.
Enjoy the process (of aftherhood), it can never be replicated and it is priceless.