chaircover:

A lot of the kids in my daughter’s school have sleepovers and I keep on getting the mummy pleeeeeeeeeeease requests with that puppy eyes look but I am not too keen.

She has had a few friends come round to sleep at ours and admittedly they had great fun, and I am beginning to look very antisocial by not accepting any of their invitations.

Its not that I don’t trust the parents & they are a good bunch, but I would never forgive myself if God forbid anything happened.

I will also worry myself to death while she is away, I will be thinking like; do they have a working smoke alarm in the house, do they have any paedo uncles coming to visit that weekend, will she have a car seat in the car, will their dog bite my daughter and so on.

Funny enough I don’t have a problem when she goes off after church service with her friends in Sunday School & we pick her up or their parents drop her off later on in the evening.

Am I just being over protective? By the way my daughter is 6.

I do not know about you, but I wouldn't allowe my child to sleepover at the tender age of 6.
My mother never allowed me to sleepover till I was like 13 years, and am talking about maybe once a year
on special occasions like my Bday, Ramada etc. At first, I thought she was been mean, but now I see
why she did that. Now that I have grown up, am no more a fan of sleepovers, REASON, you sometimes
and I mean most of the times U wish your lifestyle was similar to your friends, you tend to compare your mom
to theirs, the place they live, the way they get treated etc: (Not all kids do this, but most do it.)

So I will advice you to not at all encourage this, Let her grow up a bit.

^^ true

My son is 10 and i still dont let him sleep over unless its family. I have many reasons for that but i would not let a 6 year old sleep over at a friends. Not until they are big enough to defend themselves or old enough to get help in an emergency, eg: fire, accident, etc.

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even when that child is older, you should only send her to sleepovers when you are sure that she knows "perfectly" the DOs and DONTs with strangers and family friends.

apart from close family, i wouldnt send my kids to anybody that i didnt personally knew for a few yrs (people that i have been to their homes many times and that have been to mine equally).

too many locos out there!

nah i dont think sleep overs is advicable not at that tender age
she might misuse that opportunity given to her to do something crazy

Hell no,my 7yr old daughter has had about 8 sleepover since she started kindergarten 2yrs ago,but they all happened in my house and these kids practically invited themselves over, and i am always astonished at how easily their parents let them go,i would never allow my daughter or son sleepover at friends house i can only vouch for myself not anyone else ,you never know what goes on behind closed doors in peoples homes no matter how well you think you know them.

I would allow my kids to go for sleep over, but that would be after they have been married and the sleep over would be at their husband's house.

Fhemmmy:

I would allow my kids to go for sleep over, but that would be after they have been married and the sleep over would be at their husband's house.

lol fhemmooooooooo is da house.

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Fhemmmy:

I would allow my kids to go for sleep over, but that would be after they have been married and the sleep over would be at their husband's house.

great sense of humor

I don't know what sleepover entails.

But my predisposition on such issue is No, since sleepover is a Western concept. I want to keep as far away as possible from the way westerners raise their offsprings, and align my offspring's upbringing to a similar but improved way of how I was brought up.

That said, I am flexible. If I find out what sleepover entails and I judge it is not nurturally/morally damaging, then why not.

If I worry too much about the quoted, my kids will never live a full life. I am not going to wrap my kids in cotton wool. There are risks in life I can tolerate and sacrifice to let them have a full life.

Did we have fire alarm when I grew up in Nigeria? Was there even a fire service? Even if there was, did they have phones? Did I use child car seat? Are Nigerian roads not more dangerous?

chaircover:

I will also worry myself to death while she is away, I will be thinking like; do they have a working smoke alarm in the house, do they have any paedo uncles coming to visit that weekend, will she have a car seat in the car, will their dog bite my daughter and so on.

Sleepover at that tender age? No.

And not even when she is a teenager because that is when they start all those experimenting and tutorials on boy meets girl stuff

Though it will be probably hard to stamp a feet of authority then lol!

.

chaircover:

@Sagamite LOL - You are right o! we didn't have car seats and smoke alarms etc when we were growing up but I am sure that you agree with me that these things have saved many lives.

I agree with you that it has saved lots of lives but I will not restrict my kid's childhood because of lack of it.

If you are losing sleep (I bet you are not, just a figure of speech) over such, then you will never allow your kids go on holiday to a third world country.

I personally believe the more of third world my kids explore, the better for their development. I want to eliminate as much westernity (especially British) from them as I possibly can. Call it Westa Haram¹ if your want.

1. That is a lampoon of Boko Haram in case you did not get the joke.

chaircover:

A sleepover is where a few school friends in the same class and of the same se.x stay over at a friends house overnight. Usually the parents already know each other well and are friends. Most times, the school friends would have previously done some day time activities together such as going to watch a film, birthday party, day out etc before graduating to a sleepover. The parents supervise the sleepover.

It was all going fine until you got to . . . . . .

chaircover:

the girls for example play with make up, play dressing up . . . . . .

I am not making the consistent errors oyinbos make of raising nymphets.

My kids can play with face painting and make up in their naivete stages of growth (under 8 ), even the boys.  But no pubertal or early-teenage kid of mine is using make-up. Oyinbo trash upbringing.

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chaircover:

LoL -
Ah its not what you think o! Actually I was referring to the 6-7 year olds and not teenagers. They do things like wearing mummys heels and beads etc. Its innocent child play

I think you are taking the "my kids wont be westernized" issue a little too seriously. Even parents in Nigeria use car seats and other safety devices.

Both cultures have their good and bad sides. All we can do is to try and select as much good as we can from both cultures

P.s My children go on holiday to Nigeria o! and I am sure they can beat you hands  down in a soaking gari & kukikuki contest 

Haba!  I no say child seat na westernisation before you allow people label me bushman. 

The Westa Haram ^{does a terrorist face}  I am preaching is about not nurturing my child like westerners (moral freedom and independence too young, materialism instead of realism, sexualised by dressing inappropraitely at very young age and growing up to fast, talking back or screaming at parents all in the name of "my rights" etc).

Innocent child play of 6 year olds dressing like adults, I am all for. [size=4pt]No tell anybody o, but I used to wear mumsie's sunglasses and church hats at that age. Shhhh!  [/size]. At that age, it is naivete stage of growth.

There are good parts of Oyinbo culture I will pick up (like at least factoring in kids' opinions and strengths in decisions sometimes, a bit more freedom at late teens etc) but I still believe overall their system is inferior to the best quality African upbringing.

You dey allow your kids go Naija? You no dey panic about mosquito, fire alarms, salmonella, mad cow disease, water contamination, Okada rides, uninsured cars, heat exhaustion, miasma from Nigerian gutters that can suffocate janded kids, soporific bites of tse-tse fly etc? You get heart o! I think say impe you wan put them for cotton wool before ni. 

I think 6 is too young and though my boys are much younger now I have to admit that I do not see the point of a sleepover at any age. What are they doing at night that they cannot do during the day. Abeg jor. I am not doing it. In the evenings that is okay but they have to sleep at home and even the homes they will be allowed to go will be limited

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i went to my first sleep over when i was 5 but all the mothers agreed on the guest list together (only 3 or 4 girls at a time) big sleepiver of 10 or more girls came when i was like 12

Wherever my two kids are, they better hear me! soundly and clearly. No sleep over!! in dis terrible world of ours if anytin happens now its just sorry, sorry and sorry. Another alternative is for you 2 go over with them. I doubt if il let my kids do a sleepover even in d home of some close family members o!

Or just as someone said, you put the list together, so that its strictly by i.v with all terms and conditions to my standard.Involve a lawyer if possible!!!! anything for my kids o! those 9months and d labor, etc what were they for, so il protect them jealously.

that stuff is for girls

ftmom:

No, am too paranoid to allow sleepovers, not even sure I'll ever entertain the idea

Living in oyinbo land taught me too much about p.e.d.o.p.h.i.l.e.s. and neighbors who kill their family and run away with the family dog; I just would not have the emotional strength to last an overnight visit.

Am just me:

Wherever my two kids are, they better hear me! soundly and clearly. No sleep over!! in dis terrible world of ours if anytin happens now its just sorry, sorry and sorry. Another alternative is for you 2 go over with them. I doubt if il let my kids do a sleepover even in d home of some close family members o!

Or just as someone said, you put the list together, so that its strictly by i.v with all terms and conditions to my standard.Involve a lawyer if possible!!!! anything for my kids o! those 9months and d labor, etc what were they for, so il protect them jealously.

No way I am restricting my kids that much because of risks.

There are several family and friends I would be happy to leave them with.

Sagamite:

No way I am restricting my kids that much because of risks.

There are several family and friends I would be happy to leave them with.

First of all most molesters are not strangers but more likely close family members or friends. I am not saying you should never leave kids by themselves but every single Nigerian I know that has been molested have been molested either by a family member or a lesson teacher. Don't be too sure of yourself

Outstrip:

First of all most molesters are not strangers but more likely close family members or friends. I am not saying you should never leave kids by themselves but every single Nigerian I know that has been molested have been molested either by a family member or a lesson teacher. Don't be too sure of yourself

I would rather give my kids the freedom of youth and encourage them to come directly to me if there is any thing they find disturbing, than to over-shelter them to something that is a low possibility in regards to stats. Obviously girls would be more sheltered as the risk is higher.

Sagamite:

I would rather give my kids the freedom of youth and encourage them to come directly to me if there is any thing they find disturbing, than to over-shelter them to something that is a low possibility in regards to stats. Obviously girls would be more sheltered as the risk is higher.

Eyah. You are so misinformed. 1 in 4 girls in the US is sexually molested by age 18 and I know it is worse in Nigeria. Probably 90 percent of my female friends were molested at very young ages. We are talking as young as age 3. The worst of them was even raped not just fingered or made to perform MouthAction. Please be aware. I am not saying you should leave in fear but you just seem so carefree. Boys are not immune either. 1 in 6 gets molested and it also happens in Nigeria.

well there is a whole lot to consider about this sleepover thing besides who wants another man pikin problem for niger?

Outstrip:

Eyah. You are so misinformed. 1 in 4 girls in the US is sexually molested by age 18 and I know it is worse in Nigeria. Probably 90 percent of my female friends were molested at very young ages. We are talking as young as age 3. The worst of them was even despoiled not just manipulated or made to perform oral intimacy. Please be aware. I am not saying you should leave in fear but you just seem so carefree. Boys are not immune either. 1 in 6 gets molested and it also happens in Nigeria.

and 9 out of 10 by the times they are 27. MOST of molesting comes from boys thier own age in school, at the bus stop, football games, a well publicised statistic. sheltering a child wont decrease thier odds or being groped/molested.

agathamari:

and 9 out of 10 by the times they are 27. MOST of molesting comes from boys thier own age in school, at the bus stop, football games, a well publicised statistic. sheltering a child wont decrease thier odds or being groped/molested.

I would love to read it. Where it says that most kids over age 16 who are molested are molested by their peers. I say 16 because I feel that a 16 year old girl being approached by a 16 year old boy in a sexual manner is quite different from a much younger child being approached by a teenager or adult. This is not sheltering this is just knowing the facts and acting on it. Educating your child and taking them out of a situation where it is likely to happen will definitely decrease the odds.

hmmmm

Hahahahahhahaahaaha sagamite tries to counter-attack posts on almost every thread he walks into and i just laugh, cos i know with time, experience go teach you lesson

na today?


@Post
What is my daughter doing sleep overs for? Parents shouldnt allow this esp at a tender age, doing this will end up making this kids even at school long for spending quality time outside their homes,hence distracting from household activities