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Diary Of An Anonymous Corper - Literature - Nairaland

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Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 1:32pm On Dec 05, 2017
I just said goodbye to someone very close to my heart today. I don't know how it's going to be like from now on. Not because I don't have friends, but because there's a different kind of happiness that comes from knowing that there's this one person that makes your heart beat a little bit faster, someone that gives you an expectation. No matter how little that expectation is...

Well, I'm going to have to start from the beginning and tell you everything. How it all started, my posting, camp experience, my second posting, ppa, etc. Now this is not going to be a complete romantic update. It's going to be about everything; travelling, the fun I had, the sad times, my struggle with my spiritual life, mental, emotional, romantic life, adulting, my PPA, culture, and the people I met.

Now, I'm doing this because of how bleeping boring this place can be sometimes. And I want that when it gets like that, I could always talk here. Now the locations are going to be real. I'd like to be honest about that, because I'd like to connect and I'd like others to connect too. However, the names could be changed or initials used because like the topic said I'd like to be anonymous.

Just so you know, the updates may not be as interesting as you might think because;
1. I was posted to a small town, with no single eatery, by eatery I mean, Mr. Biggs so don't expect any dinner date, lunch date updates. No recreational centre, no universities, no nothing.
2. you should know that; 'if e no be the capital, e no fit be like the capital'. And, like I said I was posted to a small town.
3. I may not be a good describer of things. But, we shouldn't rule that out just yet. I might surprise myself and do something nearly close to miraculous.
4. I'm not a total extrovert. Being that sometimes I surprise myself when I do some poo, especially when I'm tipsy. And then other times I just crawl into my tiny shell and wonder why the world is such a crappy place.
5. For those that don't like foul words. You may not enjoy this because I can curse down a rain. Bleep is my favourite and most used of all the curse words.
6. if you are here to judge, then I'm sorry but nah...well the panel of judges could be in two ways; those that might think I'm too crazy and those that might think... hell no...too conservative.
7. then those that don't like gossip. Smh...I don't know o, why would anybody sef not like gist?

But who knows? I might be wrong in just everything I said up there.
I'd like this to be interactive sha...so feel free to drop comments, even if you are on the jury. I could also need help with something's and just ask. Because I'm still in the process and some of you are done and have better experiences.

WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF AN ANONYMOUS CORPER!!

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by cybriz82(m): 1:48pm On Dec 05, 2017
Welcome

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by OlufemiWhit(m): 5:36pm On Dec 05, 2017
Na only intro I don read nd I don like the story

6 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 8:35pm On Dec 05, 2017
The only person Pops can tolerate is Nana. I can't blame him though, she's his wife. Don't get me wrong, Pops is the sweetest, most amazing father. But, people easily irritates him including his own children. The phrase; ' distance makes the heart grow fonder ' was specifically meant for Pops. The logic is, don't stay at home for too long. When you are out, say school...Pops will suffocate you with incessant calls and monies. But, come home and in a months time he's already wondering why your life has been paused. So now you understand my plight.

I had finalized everything about school by November. So by January, I was old news already to Pops, although he tries to tolerate me being the baby of the house. He probably didn't make any move because of the holidays. Come February, and Pops was already trying to know why I hadn't gone for service yet. I had a friend who was serving in Kebbi state. I explained to him that she had to come back first, before I leave. That was just to hold him up for a while. So, I had to start looking for information. Because, the only thing Pops hates more than you just staying at home is you not being able to explain why you are home. I had to gather information before I irritate him even more. Nairaland was a sure bet then. I was always on the NYSC section. Fast forward to April and my friend came back from Kebbi state. Pops became frantic. He wanted to know how I offended NYSC that has made them keep me in his house.

Finally, it was time for registration. Pops hurriedly gave me the money the moment I told him about it. You could tell he needed me out of the house. I hate stress and rush...at least it's what I tell myself when I'm being lazy. So I kept my lazy ass at home, while others went to register. Second day into registration and my course mates have called to tell me the slot for the three major states have been exhausted...yimu, it's not like I wanted any. Lagos is too rowdy, and for someone like me, I'd probably die of anxiety before I get to the orientation camp. Abuja is just a capital city and nothing else...an expensive capital city for that matter. Rivers is my state, nothing else. Since Pops is already clearly chasing me away, I wasn't gonna be crazy enough to come back to meet him. I relaxed further after I heard that. It was with the speed of light I rushed to the café after I heard the rumor that late registration equals stream two. I provided the necessary information. Finally I had to pick states. I wasn't confused at all, I've done my research. I chose Plateau, Enugu, Kano and Ondo. Plateau because, I heard it has the best camp in the country, one of the most beautiful landscapes in the country...how can I not like that. And It's cold climate, that attracts the white population. Funny me, I didn't bother to make research on each local government...I just checked jos and ticked yes. Enugu, because of it's serenity. Kano, because the other options I saw were nothing but poo. Ondo because I had this guy then that told me he'd die if I don't pick it. And I didn't want to cause the death of anybody na.

I rushed home and cried like Jabez that God should enlarge my coast to Enugu and Plateau. But not as far as Kano or as west as Ondo. Nana joined in my prayers, cancelling Kano and my very own Plateau. Not knowing my deal with Ondo na.
On the eve of the posting, to say I was excited would be an understatement. I kept refreshing pages on the internet, just so I don't sleep. My laptop was on one corner of my bed playing something I wasn't interested in. By 12, I rushed to the NYSC portal, logged in and proceeded to check. No updates have been made. Is like NYSC don't have a functioning clock? I rushed to nairaland to be sure it wasn't just me. it wasn't, so I waited. By 1, I checked again.
I literally heard the sound of my breaking heart. It left it's spot in my chest and moved lower to my stomach. My head spinned. The red colored font was used so that even the colour blind could tell. 'sorry you are not with this stream' was written on my page. 'How could NYSC be this cruel to me?' I gasped. My village people must have succeeded, I thought. Out of frustration, I turned off my phone. I didn't want my busy bodies course mates to call me and tell me their good news. I saw NYSC officials and my course mates laughing hysterically at me in my dream. When I woke up, the ray of light seeping into my room gave me a slight headache. Plus my lack of good sleep. NYSC sef was all I could mutter. How was I gonna break this news to Pops. I summoned courage and switched on my phone. The sound of WhatsApp messages entering my phone continued like a tribute to a celebrity. I opened my department group chat. I could see people complaining about being on stream two...even those that should be grateful that they were mobilized. I shook my head. I barely comment on the group, even though we are just about 23. A small department like statistics is always like that. Well, I kept reading...and then I stumbled on the comment of one girl. When she first checked, she had seen same thing I did. Only to check again to see that she had been posted. Right then I knew my God doesn't sleep. I rushed again to the portal. Logged in and checked...Hallelujah somebody. I saw the green letters of the letter. I scrolled down. State posted to: PLATEAU. My heart returned to it's position and I had strength again. Now Pops can hear this. Plateau here I come.

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Joislim(f): 8:42pm On Dec 05, 2017
Corper mention me when next you update, lemme read this first sha
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by OlufemiWhit(m): 11:39pm On Dec 06, 2017
Guy holla me when update show abeg
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 12:02pm On Dec 07, 2017
The night before I left for camp was one hell of crazies...I couldn't sleep. I kept turning and tossing. I get like that before every long journey. Then the anxiety started. Every possible fearful thing I've ever read came to my mind... accidents, robbery, kidnap, bombing, etc. I had to play every single slow song from my playlist, just to help me sleep...from Bruno Mars to Sam Smith. For where? I had to start counting down from 100, made up stories about camp in my head. I finally drifted...I didn't know when, because Pops was knocking on my door. Checked my phone, it was 3 in the morning...I jumped up and went to open the door. Pops just looked at me and shook his head. His inside thought; you can't do anything on your own in this life.
I boiled water and did a last minute parking. By 5, I was on my way to the bus park, together with Pops, Nana and the driver Pops hired. Nana hugged me one last time, while Pops shouted that she left me alone. Pops can mask emotions for Africa. I sat down on a plastic chair and waited patiently for others to come. Gradually more people came, I knew one of them from a group I had joined. Then another, her dad introduced himself to me and asked us to introduce each other. Finally we were all seated in the bus and ready to move. Together we were six corp members in the bus. Five girls and a boy. The boy was going to Yobe though. By noon, I was almost dying in that bus. I've never been that bored or tired. The farthest I've gone by bus is Enugu and I can't really remember how the journey went. So by the time I got to Enugu, I was tired, famished, confused and almost fainting...I wore a long gown and the bus was tight as a virgin, so you know how I felt. Just so you know, my parents won't let me wear trousers...for the big girl that I am. I couldn't even buy food because I hated eating in a bus, including snacks. By the time we got to Benue, I was frantic. if I don't come out of this bus soon, I'll loose my mind and end in the nearest mental institution. At Otukpo, we stopped for the first time. I rushed out of the bus, not to do anything but to feel the earth under my feet again. Otukpo reminded me about my primary five reader...

When it was time to continue, I started crying in my head. Why is this country so big? I should have prayed for Enugu o, at least I would have already been in camp resting. Even Ondo would have been a better choice. I thought since we were already in Otukpo, then Nasarrawa was not far...I was kidding myself. From Otukpo to Markudi is up to an hour, that's within one state o. Then, by the time we got to Nasarrawa, the driver assured us that jos was close. I think his definition of close is different. Because, from around 4.30 to 7 we were still in Nasarrawa. How can these states be so big? By the time we got to the outskirt of Jos it was dark.

We got out at one round about that sounds Arabic( something like marabal jamal). We left to dude going to Yobe. All five of us got a taxi from there to Mangu, where the camp is located. They told us, it wasn't far at all. Another story...I swear these peoples definition of not far is different from our own. Then path to Mangu is very lonely and dark. I prayed in my mind o. I didn't want my journey to start and end same day. The driver was driving so slow...we were confused at a point and started suspecting the driver. By 9 pm we got to the orientation camp. it was the only time we saw light on the road. I felt so relived ehn.
Coming in at night was cool, we didn't have to carry our luggage on our heads like I read...after that long journey, I would have just died complete. The soldiers were kind, and didn't even search our boxes well. We went in, did the first stage of our registration before going to get our beg space. All five of us; G,J,S,Juls and me. We looked for the space together and that was the beginning of our friendship.

11 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 12:12pm On Dec 07, 2017
joislim and olufemiwhit...update don show
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Joislim(f): 2:47pm On Dec 07, 2017
I thought you are a guy.
Still following keenly

21 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by OlufemiWhit(m): 8:32pm On Dec 07, 2017
I really thought you were a guy too tho....lovely story dear

8 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Missnande(f): 9:21pm On Dec 07, 2017
Really cool,you sounded like a guy at first.

8 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by YunyJoe(m): 11:05pm On Dec 07, 2017
Nice writeup wen is the next update pls

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 3:51am On Dec 08, 2017
I'm a girl...a pretty one too wink
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Adesina12: 2:31pm On Dec 08, 2017
gh0sts:
I'm a girl...a pretty one too wink

Pretty? I doubt it
Beautiful ones are not yet born!!!
I beg kwantiniu jhoor
Make I prepare sweet popcorn for you abi.....

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 4:41pm On Dec 08, 2017
The space we got was in the room where the camp cleaners stayed. The place was cramped and we had to keep apologizing as we walked around trying to arrange our luggage. I came to understand that the most difficult chore in this world is climbing the up bunk of a bed. The moment I forget something, severe calculations starts on how I can get it without coming down. It is a huge feat when my legs don't actually touch the ground before I pick whatever I went for up. We arranged our things and went together to get food from Mami. It truly was a mini market, just like what I've read. We ate noodles and eggs. Honestly it's the best I've tasted. Now, food is cheap on the Plateau...250 naira as oppose to the 400 naira from other camps. After eating and exchanging numbers, we left to get buckets.
On our way back, one of the girls suggested we take our bath. Honestly,I was too tired to even talk to them. Once I heard bath, my brain screamed at me in fear. Apart from the tiredness, it was damn cold. Mangu cold is three times the cold of Port Harcourt on a very rainy day. I mentally poured water on myself and shrouded in fear. I don't make a lot of friends, especially so many females at once. So, I couldn't afford loosing them just yet, just because I'm a dirty girl. I smiled and followed them to where they sell hot water.
I fell on the bed like a log after taking my bath, dozing off almost immediately. Around 12 or so, I was woken by some noise. Some girl was talking to J about a robbery. I was too tired to concentrate or even give a Bleep.
3am, I was woken by Jul. She asked that I wake up so we get ready before they blow the bugle. I couldn't believe her, 'why do people hate sleep so much?' For the first 2 minutes I sat on my bed, thinking it wasn't too late for me to go back home and just leave the service. By the time I summoned courage to come down from the bed, I was a freaking walker from the walking dead. I was confused, I couldn't find my soap or sponge or towels. Before the next 5mins, my box was completely scattered. I knew I won't be able to survive on my own, this was the first sign.

Next thing I was standing at the parade ground singing the national anthem, learning the NYSC anthem and listening to morning meditation. The registration started by 7. As others paraded, we went into the pavilion to register. You'd think presentation of document was not hard work. By the time you finish from one stand, you'd proceed to another and then another. Remember when I told you I was tired? I was almost dying by the time I got to the point for ICT registration, I was so tired, hungry and dehydrated. And my menses thought is was the best time to spite me, by visiting. At that point irritation added to every other thing. We were asked to sit on the untarred floor under the scorching northern sun. The long sleeve I wore confused me. At first it was making me hot, but whenever I fold the hands it was like I was going to get immediate cancer of the skin. At a point, I just ignored the discomfort and felt comfortable on the floor. After a while, I couldn't bare it anymore. I had to cut corners as the PH girl that I am. The boys beside me were shocked...I no fit dull o. I finally entered the ICT by 3pm, my long name caused a little bit of fracas inside the hall...I was done soon enough and got to state code.
I was the last person among the girls to finish. So I caught up with them as we went to eat together. By 5pm I was under the arena registering with my platoon leader. Not too long rain started. It was the heaviest rain I have seen. Now, let me give you hints about Plateau. Everything is on the extreme; the cold, sun and rain. That rain could lift me and transfer me back to Rivers state. Everything flew in the direction of the breeze; papers, nylon, dirt and even chairs. I carefully grabbed the pullers just in case. The rain came from all direction. We had to gather at the centre of the arena, and I was still drenched. It finally stopped and I continued with my registration. Our female platoon officer has an attitude the size of Plateau. She made corrections on everything...and each correction comes with a corresponding backlash. By the second time I went to her, I was praying seriously...I don't think I'll be able to survive it if she used me to shine her shoe. The finally accepted it. I didn't even know when a huge sigh escaped my mouth. It was dark already by the time I collected my kits. Trousers was about five yards, shirts(both crested and plain) XXL, Boots was literally made for an elephant. You'd understand if you see how thin I am. The sneakers was made for a 12 year old. The only things that were my size was the cap and sock and I kid you not.

I rushed to the hostel to drop my things. I had to adjust the trousers at least before pictures of me go viral. So, I rushed to where the tailors stay at Mami. I was clearly delusional when I thought I'd be the only one there. I had a mild heart attack when I saw the crowd...I immediately thought if it was worth the stress. After all if my picture goes viral I'll be popular na.
I perched at the edge of one tailor and started begging o...I didn't even know I had it in me. The man had clothes from people who had come and left. I stood there and begged like my entire existence depended on it. Another girl joined me and it became combined begging. Finally he took my measurement. Only for me to check in my bag and I couldn't find the money I put there. I held my chest, because I was having another heart attack...it took God's grace that I didn't start crying and wailing. I codedly asked the girl that has been in the committee of begging what's happening. Luckily she's was nice enough to give me the money and her phone number. I thanked her profusely after the tailor finished and left. I ran back under the drizzling rain to the hostel. The warmth of the hostel welcomed me. I quickly started looking for my money...it's not like I had enough, so I couldn't afford losing any no matter how small. I turned my bad out and searched praying and asking God to forgive all my sins. Just in case it was sin that's making me go through the hardship. Finally, I saw it. The relieve I felt was out of this world. I quickly tried the girls number, but service was poor, so I left it for late. I couldn't even pretend to be a clean girl today. I just assumed the rain had washed away my dirt and sins. I just climbed my bed with my last remaining strength and thought of all the times I had thought going back to my state will save me from this. I drifted off...

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by ClassicMan202(m): 12:11am On Dec 09, 2017
Nice one, keep it coming cool cool cool

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by MhisTahrah: 9:47am On Dec 09, 2017
Mention me when you update.

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by slimbless(f): 1:23pm On Dec 09, 2017
This is definitely going to be interesting.
Following

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Joislim(f): 9:06pm On Dec 09, 2017
Gh0st Baebe, we are following

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 1:02pm On Dec 10, 2017
Routine for the next morning was the same as the same. I woke up by 3am, said a quick 'thank you' to God. And proceeded to think about when I'll get proper sleep. Bought hot water from the Igbo woman behind the girls hostel. The light amber colour of the water is so discouraging. I was shaking from the cold as I carried the bucket back to the hostel. I knew I won't be able to do this everyday for 3 weeks. I was visibly shaking, my teeth gnashing together to generate heat as I wore my white for the first time. By 4.30, music blared from the OBS speakers and the next thing I know soldiers were shouting and chasing us out of the hostels. The cold lashed me harshly on every exposed path of my body. I ran as everybody did too...with the soldiers constant shout of 'double up'. Morning meditation was slow. I kept blacking out as a result of the cold. A Christian and a Muslim prayed, we sang the national anthem, the NYSC anthem and said the pledge. By the time for parade, I couldn't feel my hands. How I didn't die from hypothermia is still a surprise to me. First day and people were dropping like cockroaches that were sprayed sniper. Even I knew it was all an act...but can I blame them? how did they expect us to march under this kind of cold? If only I was a good actress, I would have been the first to drop. I would have dropped the minute I came out of my hostel. Parade was them(soldiers) teaching us how to salute the governor. Repeated chants of remove head rest filled the parade ground. A simple removing of our caps and putting it back on was so daunting to us. At a point our platoon commandant was begging us, even resorting to bribery because some senior officers were coming to watch us. I was just laughing at our commandant's frustration. After parade, we had orientation on security. The orientation was scary, but was centred on the capital. By breakfast, I called the girl who helped me with money since I didn't eat breakfast. Honestly, it because I was 'forming' but also because I don't like group food, doesn't ever taste good. I thanked her again after giving her the money. By 10, the bigle sounded asking us to get ready to receive the Governor for our swearing in ceremony. We were all dressed 7/7. That is, Complete khaki with crested vest. We lined up according to our platoons and patiently waited...that was how our name turned to patience o. They kept announcing that the Governor was close...by 12pm, governor was still not there. We stood there without water or food. At a point we started a dance battle between platoons...dancing to music from the OBS speakers. They kept us sane and saved us from loosing it with the cool music's they played. We hailed ourselves as we danced, while the camp officials looked on confused. By 3pm, still no Governor. I squatted, stood up, leaned on my knee and took almost every position i could to keep my legs from being weak and prevent myself from falling. This world can be so difficult ehn...the camp officials sat under the arena comfortably. Protected from the sun. The soldiers are used to it, so it doesn't even count that they were standing...by the way, they could sit whenever they wanted to. We had no choice. We just stood there waiting for a Governor that didn't give a Bleep.

By 4pm, the deputy governor strolled in with an entourage. He sat down and the ceremony started. When they introduced him, I couldn't believe I've been standing under the sun for about 6hrs only to be introduced to a deputy...and I consoling myself with the fact that at least I'll see a real governor for the first time. Only to be disappointed. In fact when we were asked to salute him doing our remove head rest salute, I refused to as payment for this wickedness. It was like they didn't teach us anything, with how scattered the salute was...I felt bad for the soldiers. All their hard work. But, how did they expect us to get it when we spent 6hrs without food or rest. They should be happy we didn't faint. It was like we were all in it for the payback because even OBS played 'rara' immediately after that. Trust us now, we sang along shouting at the top of our voices.

Finally, our names changed from prospective corp members(otondo), to gentlemen, corp members.

20 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 1:04pm On Dec 10, 2017
Sorry guys about the slow rate of posting... you'll come to understand why as we go further into the dairy. Thanks guys.
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by bimberry1307(f): 1:13pm On Dec 10, 2017
I think I'll pitch my tent here. oh I'm liking this. Reminds me of my camp days.

2 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Adesina12: 2:02pm On Dec 10, 2017
Talking about dirt and sins....humnnn
I wanna read about them
Waiting for the interesting update
No sweet popcorn for you until you diffused the meaning of those words grin

2 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 5:57am On Dec 12, 2017
Camp was crazy all the way. The consistent sounds of the bigle disturbing any semblance of peace within me. At first it was difficult to differentiate them. But soon enough, I could tell which was for which. Especially, the 'chop, chop corper' sound and the one for when Nigeria wants to either sleep or wake. I remember how people keep complaining about how lazy Nigeria was, for waking by 6am and sleeping by 6pm. The long queue when it was time for food...even before you hear the bigle. People were not ashamed to queue for food at all. Some even started walking with flasks.

The morning drill in freezing cold. Different command of 'pre....shun, left, right' will fill the parade ground. With our short whites, some worn on top of pop socks, white shirts, gloves and head warmer. I was sure we looked absurd, but whatever...
People were beginning to join different stuff for there platoon. Basketball, football, drama, cultural dance, pageantry etc. Funny thing was I wrote my name down on every category. The looks on peoples faces when I was looking for the football list said it all...I just ignored them, nobody was going to bring me down biko. I wasn't cut out for things like that. By Friday, I was already done with parade. Immediately were done with morning meditation, I'll just pick up my cold sef and march into the auditorium were I proceed to charge my phone and sleep. The soldiers didn't bother us. Even though they wanted to, one look at my face and they'll just pity me. And that was how my mornings went.

The boring lectures. Just thinking about it and I'm bored. Most times I just nap in there, or listen to music or play game ( as I was completely offline). The one and only lecture I enjoyed was the one on HIV/AIDS. Damn! that lecture. The part were the lecturer brought out a wooden joystick and asked a guy and a girl to come out and show us our to put on a condom. Every tiredness left my spirit. The way people rushed out ehn...you'll think he said something about winning a million naira.
By the next week, SAED started. I've never been so happy as I was when I heard bead making takes place inside the girls hostel. I always knew making beads was my calling, so I quickly joined. Very easy for me. SAED became my new nap time. I don't even know the first step of bead making. At a point one of my friends discovered my pattern and joined. We'll always use J's bed, because it was hidden and they never saw us when they came for random search.

The first party of camp was fun. When the camp officials danced, we hailed and shouted. Our camp commandant can dance for Africa. I knew I was in love with him just then. Different platoons came out to dance. I danced ehn...haba, it was first party o. And BTW, nobody knows me sef.

The queue to take our allowances on camp was devilish. It was like the queue of people waiting to go to hell. I wonder how corpers could tell the bigle was for money. Before my friends and I could even code what was happening, the queue had gotten close to the auditorium. We decided to go to hostel and rest. Only to come back to see an even long queue with a different set of people. I thought people will form sef. All the big boys and girls came out o and it wasn't even the 19800 allowance yet.

The competitions started. From drama, to music, to dance, to football, to pageantry. I wasn't too interested, so I would mostly just sit in the auditorium or rest my tired bones in the hostel. I can't kill myself na. And since there was no camp boo( not because boys didn't show, mainly because I was being too Choosey. At least if i want to forfeit sleep for any guy, or stay out in the cold at night for any, he's got to worth it na.), I just had to chill the best way I could.

13 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by OlufemiWhit(m): 6:47am On Dec 12, 2017
Good Morning Corper

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by MCEgbuna(m): 7:12am On Dec 12, 2017
Good morning, gh0sts! smiley

So, not only do I thoroughly enjoy your style of writing, it also seems like you have an uncommon but refreshing perspective towards life in general.

Please keep writing. I'm following.

7 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by itzmarvyx(m): 8:36am On Dec 12, 2017
Following. smiley

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 6:08pm On Dec 12, 2017
met Ide two weeks into camp. On one of my naps, I had slept off on J's bed as usual and woke up to not find my glasses. I checked everywhere. Under the pillow, under the bunks, on her wardrobe, her box, on the top bunk...literally everywhere. I thought I was gonna find it later, so I went out using my old prescription. Everything was blurred that entire evening. I rushed back to the hostel early before it becomes too dark... the gutters in that Mangu camp are too big and lots of people had fell into it, as in alcohol induced falling. Infact it was big enough for rumors like; people having sex in it even got to nairand. I didn't want to fall as well, so people won't think I was drunk too. Or, I was also having sex inside. I asked around J's corner if any body had seen my glasses, but nobody did.
By the next day, I was worried sick. How was I going to tell Pops that the glasses I just got in March was missing and no be small money too o. The next day, my sense was sight was almost useful...I had to squint in order to see clearly. Jul's was the closest of all five friends to me. And she suggested that I met with OBS. By 7pm, I went behind the main auditorium, to where the OBS studio was. I knocked on the door, but there was no response. Then a guy came from outside and asked in this accent that sounded like he's never been in Nigeria what I wanted. I told him about my missing glasses, that it was recommended and looked like cat eyes. He laughed at my last statement. He asked that I waited outside, while he goes in to check among the lost item they have. While I waited for him, a light skinned, slightly chubby girl came in and asked for the broadcasters. She was a little bit chatty, so I played along and told her about my missing glasses. She too had come for her missing cap. So, we waited together. He came out and asked the same question he asked me. Somehow, there discussion got to name and where they came from...they are both Yoruba's. Dude is from Oyo, babe is from Osun. I was already liking him, so I just assumed that didn't stand a chance. Not when they are both from same region. He told me my glasses wasn't in their lost collection but if I could write the description down, they could notify if they see it. I left soon enough. By the time I got back with the writing, still hoping to catch a glimpse of his face and nice accent. I was stopped at the door by one of those OBS drag queens... she took the paper from me after asking so many questions.

Two days later, I saw him close to the OBS studio as I was coming back from Mami. I stopped to ask if there was any hope, by then my eyes were itching badly and sore. He hadn't seen it, but he offered his number just so I call to remind him to keep checking. And that my friends was how I met Ide.

I called to ask if we could hang out. Because I'm like that. When I like someone, or I want something I just go for it. Time is too short to be delaying. He obliged and we met in front of the OBS building. We sat on the step and talked about everything. He was smart and versatile. I liked him even more sef...I like when guys are smart and can hold discussion. It was the first night I stayed out till 10pm and it was fun. Ide and I spent time together and sent a lot of text. He even gave me designated survivor season 1 on my flash. And every night after that was fun. While others went in to watch pageantry, I would be in the studio chilling. But then, his calls began to reduce. He doesn't reply my text as fast as he used to. We never hung out again. I was surprised I could chase away a boy so fast, even I didn't know I had it in me...I did a recollection of all our discussions, if I threw a bomb by mistake. I also checked the messages to check my grammar and spelling. At a point I thought he had left camp(he was a batch b corper). But no, I saw him on the bonfire night and just concluded he didn't really like me. I hate to drag on poo too long, after a while it starts to stink. So, I just left things quiet down as they started. So friends, that was how Ide and I ended poo on camp.

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by itsandi(m): 8:08pm On Dec 12, 2017
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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 11:42pm On Dec 12, 2017
I thought if u drag poo for too long, u get used to the stink.

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 10:08pm On Dec 14, 2017
sorry about the late posts. Network has been so terrible here.


I noticed this fine guy on camp. Tall, built, light skinned (always had a thing for fair guys). He was everything I had physically imagined when I think of my future husband. Truth is I wouldn't have really looked twice (you know how fine boys can get now), if I hadn't noticed him staring at me. I met one of my course mate's on camp. I was surprise for obvious reasons. We were too few for two of us to be in the same camp. Federal government could have just easily flung us into the 36 states and we wouldn't have covered all. We stood at the entrance of girls hostel catching up on stuffs. Fine dude and his friend was walking towards us, his gaze fixed on me. My course mate noticed and asked loudly, in a funny tone why fine boy was looking at me. He heard her and quickly looked away. I smiled at her, a little embarrassed and continued our discussion.

We kept running into each other at different times. During the sport competitions, at Mami, etc. but we never spoke. We'd just look at each other and walk past...you know how it's done on movies na.

On one of the evenings after the sport competitions, S and I had left the competitions early. We were going to pick plates to get food. We were in a rush because we didn't want to bigle for Nigeria's lullaby to meet us on the road. We were just in front of the clinic, which was very close to the girls hostel when the soldier blew the bigle...I imagined the soldier blowing the bigle while laughing at us. Just as we were about to stop, I saw fine boy and his friend rushing towards us. Somehow, we stood side by side as we waited for the bigle to stop. I could see him stealing glances as I stole right back. Finally the bigle stopped. I delayed my move, so he could make a move. And he did...as he said hello and approach, there were bees in my stomach. 'Did you attend NCSS?' was his next question? I was confused immediately, I wasn't popular in secondary school na. How did this fine creature who was definitely not in my class remember me? ' I was your junior' was his next response after I said yes to his first question. And with that he left. I stood there a little bit confused... was this why he has been looking at me? I thought.

S told me I would have asked his number... as she was telling me that, I was just thinking how fine boy couldn't even ask my name? After that very, very awful introduction. I rarely saw fine boy. Friday night, I sat with Idea in front of the OBS studios as usual when my friends called to tell me the queue for allawee was short. I quickly excused myself, even he wasn't more important that my allawee ( thank God, I would have been so pissed if I had left my allawee for him). Just after I collected my allawee and was about to go back to Ide, I ran into fine boy. He saw me first and called me by my name. We talked for a while. As I was about to leave, I asked for his number. True caller managed to show his identity as I called his line. I asked his name using that and he confirmed.

I didn't call immediately. Not because I was acting up, but because I was kinda still hung on Ide. Saturday was our cultural day and the only day we were allowed to muftis. Fine boy called in the evening and asked why I had not called, and if I ever planned on calling. I was surprised and excited. He does like me, I thought. He asked that we met in Mami, but I said no and chose the auditorium...would be less rowdy.
We met by 6pm and talked and talked and talked. I realized he knew my name from last night. And he told me stuff about myself in secondary school...obviously a crush. He had gained admission just immediately after secondary school. He was older than me. He asked that we go to Mami to drink, but I politely declined with the excuse to park as we'll leave by Monday. We left to meet again...

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 8:04am On Dec 17, 2017
I came to realize that NYSC doesn't really provide as much integration as we were made to believe.

One by one, five of us left the room we were staying (the one reserved for the cleaners). It wasn't because the rooms were uncomfortable though. It was because we were asked to leave. Juls and I were the last people to leave. So, the other girls helped us get bed space. It was in the same hall as them, but different positions (like one end to another). It was okay at first. The girl below the bunk seemed nice. She introduced herself in this thick Igbo accent. I didn't think much of it, because I'm just like that. I couldn't really find a place to keep my box, so, I just placed it in the broken shelf close to my bed. I settled in that night.

The next morning, I go woke up early as usual, took my bath and was going to bring my clothes out. As I was rummaging through my box to get my clothes. The girl just beside my bed, down bunk too came in from the bathroom. And just like we've known each other before, she frowned at me and harshly told me to make space for her. I'm always the quiet one until I'm pushed. I quickly pushed my box aside for her. Things like that continued for a while, she'd complain about everything. From where I kept the box, to keeping my bucket, to my shoes and plates. Funny thing, I wasn't even her bunkee.

At night, they'll speak Igbo loudly, laughing and shouting till late. But, whenever I take a call that wasn't even as loud. My bunkee will complain. I noticed she was changing too. Complaining about where I spread my towel and stuff. Whenever they start their 'association of Igbo corpers' I'd just run to the other girls spot to escape there noise. That was when I took notice. At the girls end, it was an 'association of Yoruba corpers'. They told me how same stuff happens to them, the noice and stuff. And I just wondered how they came to find themselves in a place like that...I imagined them asking each other if they were Yoruba, or Igbo, before getting bed space together.

With the five of us it was different. Among us were 3 Rivers and 2 Igbos. But that didn't make us separate, we mixed perfectly. So, I just wondered how these people did it.
The crazy at my bedside continued. Juls' bed wasn't far from mine, so she noticed everything. There was a time one of them was missing for the night...Oh Lord, the things they said that night. The shouted, and laughed and made speculations. I didn't know the girl so I just felt bad for her. Finally she came back. She's been in the clinic, because she got too drunk and fell into the gutters. They laughed and mocked her. I'm not one that judge hastily, so I just felt bad for her. Until she got better, and everything the others were, she was multiplied by 5. I shook my head in disgust, when I noticed and just grouped her with them.
I've met refined Igbos. Like RMD's wife in the wedding party. Igbo's with class and style...but these ones, they were everything that made me not to like people. They can't make a simple sentence in English. Somewhere along the line, Igbo just has to come in. They felt superior to everybody body else, better. They were loud and annoying ...like the women in a market.

One of those nights I was pissed and tired and needed rest so bad. I hadn't left the hostel at all, because I just didn't have it in me. I slept off on my bed. Now, when the lights are on, I don't sleep deep. I could hear my friends close to my bed, trying to make a decision to wake me or not. I think I slept off again because, they didn't. I was woken by shouts and loud laughter. I checked my phone. It was past 1. Who was that inconsiderate person I thought. Next thing, just close to my ear was this insistent chatter in Igbo language, combined with bad spoken English...my dreams changed to nightmares. I could here people hiss and sigh in despair. I had to do something....
I opened my eyes and this girl was standing just close to my bed talking. I quietly told her, 'I'm going to do this back to you, twice; when you are napping and again at night and you will not just hate it, it was haunt you for the rest of your life because of how I will do it'. I think it worked, because I slept well just after that.
I didn't do it...I'm not one to pay evil for evil. And by the way, the idea was to make her shut the Bleep up. I was going to loose sleep over a senseless person na, trying to pay her back. Even my sleep is more important.

Well, I finally understood that people respect you when you make them fear you. Because, after that day every single poo they use to rub stopped.

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