Today, I want to talk about reunions, specifically secondary school reunions which mostly occur at the end of the year. It is usually a gathering of monitoring spirits veiled as old friends and schoolmates.

Secondary school reunions are one of the most depressing things to go for, like except you graduated from Harvard and are planning a wedding to Otedola's son or something, you can barely impress anybody.

One of the most popular questions no one can escape at such gatherings is the "so, what are you doing these days?"

The first thing you need to realise about 97% of people who ask this question is that they couldn't care less what you're doing, they just want to do a comparison and see if your life is shittier than theirs.

So, let's check out the various categories of people at the average SSR


The In-Your-Face Gang:

These are the ones that never liked you in secondary school, but are suddenly opening teeth for you and acting like they actually send you, when the only reason they're doing that is because they assume they are doing better than you anyway.

#TeamHappilyMarried:

AKA "my husband and kids" crew....five minutes will not pass without these people mentioning their husband or kids... Everyone could be discussing one oppressive teacher and the next thing they're like "oh, my husband and I absolutely love the Ice Cream at Coldstone" like ...who asked you?


The Never-Give-Up Boos

Aside the pretentious people, there are also the persistent ones, like the guy in your school who doesn't realize that if you didn't like him seven years ago, you still won't like him now. As soon as he walks in, your first thought is "Hai God! This boy came?" And you have to spend the entire time avoiding him.

The Everlasting Bad Guys[\b]

Oh and let's not forget, the ones that are averse to change. They are still the rowdy, noisemaking drunks who may or may not be involved in illegal dealings. Remember the guys who transferred chokes and were the ringleaders of those midnight conference calls for latest examination leaks? They have now graduated to wire-wire


[b]The Heart-break Crush

So, remember the guy you were crushing on that year? The one you went out of your way to look pretty for hoping he would finally ask you out? He's made it for the reunion....with his pregnant wife oh the pain! The saddest thing is that he's so happy....and you're not

The What Went Wrong Crew:

Aka WWW...these are the people everyone had high hopes for. Like, you were sure these people would 'blow' as soon as y'all graduated. They'd immediately get University admission, graduate top of their class and just boss everything.....well, life is not that simple....and the class clown has blown, but the genius is still trying to get his footing in society. Or is it the couple that should have gotten married at some point after University because their love was truer than Jack and Rose, but now, they can't even stand each other.

The Glow-Up Gang (Missnande)

AKA I never hesperredit. These ones were the rejects back then, dem no fine, dem no sabi dress, dem no know book, dem no dey play sport, dem just dey. The ones you were already pitying their offsprings in advance, only for them to show up looking better than everybody else. The large pimples are gone, the skin tone is now even, and they now have foreign 'hag-cent'....which baba do the jazz?

The Shy Gang:

They were NEVER present....or at least that's what it seeemed like. These ones will not participate in anything, they won't make conversation with anyone, they just sit in a corner and observe.


#SelfieGang

These ones are a creation of android phones. They are usually the girls who were popular back then and still have it going well, because they are armed with their IPhones or Samsung Galaxy, they will take more pictures than the official photographer at the event. At every point, they will be looking for the right angles to snap and will be photo bombing other people's pics

[img]


The Ones Who Don't Go At All:

As in, I cannuh comman kee myself, you no hold better money, you no get better cloth, why go and see people whose names you can barely remember? These ones will never go for reunions, but they will scroll through Facebook for pictures after the party...."...because I just want to see if Amaka still fine like before"


That's my list....feel free to add to it if you wish. Where do you belong?

Smiles really funny. The formerly ugly or clumsy ones who turn out to be the hottest at the reunion.

Missnande:
Smiles really funny. The formerly ugly or clumsy ones who turn out to be the hottest at the reunion.

thanks for this

Adding it Up

safarigirl:
thanks for this
Adding it Up

Anytime,maybe you could add pictures to give it some visuals.

Missnande:



Anytime,maybe you could add pictures to give it some visuals.

okay...will find some

That's the last place i ever want to go, it's just a gathering of friends, where they all are measuring their success, using the less privileged ones as a yard stick

The ones who came with anger to vent on that teacher they'll never forget

safarigirl:
Today, I want to talk about reunions, specifically secondary school reunions which mostly occur at the end of the year. It is usually a gathering of monitoring spirits veiled as old friends and schoolmates.

Secondary school reunions are one of the most depressing things to go for, like except you graduated from Harvard and are planning a wedding to Otedola's son or something, you can barely impress anybody.

One of the most popular questions no one can escape at such gatherings is the "so, what are you doing these days?"

The first thing you need to realise about 97% of people who ask this question is that they couldn't care less what you're doing, they just want to do a comparison and see if your life is shittier than theirs.

So, let's check out the various categories of people at the average SSR


The In-Your-Face Gang:

These are the ones that never liked you in secondary school, but are suddenly opening teeth for you and acting like they actually send you, when the only reason they're doing that is because they assume they are doing better than you anyway.

#TeamHappilyMarried:

AKA "my husband and kids" crew....five minutes will not pass without these people mentioning their husband or kids... Everyone could be discussing one oppressive teacher and the next thing they're like "oh, my husband and I absolutely love the Ice Cream at Coldstone" like ...who asked you?


The Never-Give-Up Boos

Aside the pretentious people, there are also the persistent ones, like the guy in your school who doesn't realize that if you didn't like him seven years ago, you still won't like him now. As soon as he walks in, your first thought is "Hai God! This boy came?" And you have to spend the entire time avoiding him.

The Everlasting Bad Guys[\b]

Oh and let's not forget, the ones that are averse to change. They are still the rowdy, noisemaking drunks who may or may not be involved in illegal dealings. Remember the guys who transferred chokes and were the ringleaders of those midnight conference calls for latest examination leaks? They have now graduated to wire-wire


[b]The Heart-break Crush

So, remember the guy you were crushing on that year? The one you went out of your way to look pretty for hoping he would finally ask you out? He's made it for the reunion....with his pregnant wife oh the pain! The saddest thing is that he's so happy....and you're not

The What Went Wrong Crew:

Aka WWW...these are the people everyone had high hopes for. Like, you were sure these people would 'blow' as soon as y'all graduated. They'd immediately get University admission, graduate top of their class and just boss everything.....well, life is not that simple....and the class clown has blown, but the genius is still trying to get his footing in society. Or is it the couple that should have gotten married at some point after University because their love was truer than Jack and Rose, but now, they can't even stand each other.

The Glow-Up Gang (Missnande)

AKA I never hesperredit. These ones were the rejects back then, dem no fine, dem no sabi dress, dem no know book, dem no dey play sport, dem just dey. The ones you were already pitying their offsprings in advance, only for them to show up looking better than everybody else. The large pimples are gone, the skin tone is now even, and they now have foreign 'hag-cent'....which baba do the jazz?

The Shy Gang:

They were NEVER present....or at least that's what it seeemed like. These ones will not participate in anything, they won't make conversation with anyone, they just sit in a corner and observe.


#SelfieGang

These ones are a creation of android phones. They are usually the girls who were popular back then and still have it going well, because they are armed with their IPhones or Samsung Galaxy, they will take more pictures than the official photographer at the event. At every point, they will be looking for the right angles to snap and will be photo bombing other people's pics

[img]


The Ones Who Don't Go At All:

As in, I cannuh comman kee myself, you no hold better money, you no get better cloth, why go and see people whose names you can barely remember? These ones will never go for reunions, but they will scroll through Facebook for pictures after the party...."...because I just want to see if Amaka still fine like before"


That's my list....feel free to add to it if you wish. Where do you belong?

You forgot those ones that always condescend and would be like "wow! See as you have now grown tall and fine, you used to be very short and slim back then "
or

"wow, you mean you now work with Shell? wow (with the big surprise on their annoying face), I remember back then when you used to be very gentle in class and hardly participate (indirectly telling you you were so inactive that they had always thought you'd end up selling roofing sheets) like they knew your future from the past then.

Very annoying thing! Your mates telling you how much you've grown after several years later as if they were older than you and never expected you'd ever grow. That's how you know those ones who were expecting no changes in your life. A. K. A enemies of progress, A. K. A Haters for life.

Missnande:
Smiles really funny. The formerly ugly or clumsy ones who turn out to be the hottest at the reunion.

See them!!


Those who used to believe they're better than you in look or whatever and become disappointed seeing what you've grown to become, seeing God's work in your life. How can a fellow human being tag the other "ugly"? That's just too extreme. What makes you think you look better? Have you given birth to one? Can you recreate just even a finger, artificially?

Lalasticlala seun fp worthy

Repping team 'I cannuh komman kee myself'. Who has time to waste with folks you rarely cared about. True friends last beyond your school days. Anyone that didn't wasn't a friend to begin with.

So on point op.

The married ones

That reunion get together is the most depressing place to be if your life is bleeped up.

Do Nigerians even do this?

The ones who dont go at all

Useless AGS reunion 2002

https://www.nairaland.com/4243494/man-killed-stealing-tuber-yam


This is horrible
Killed for stealing a tuber of yam

Ftc 4 D 3rd Time In A Row , Woow
December Has Been A Blessed "Ftc" Presence For Me
Help Me Praise D Lord

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See them!!


Those who used to believe they're better than you in look or whatever and become disappointed seeing what you've grown to become, seeing God's work in your life. How can a fellow human being tag the other "ugly"? That's just too extreme. What makes you think you look better? Have you given birth to one? Can you recreate just even a finger, artificially?

Don't take life too serious, get a simple joke

ibietela2:
Do Nigerians even do this?

very well.

There are WhatsApp group chats and Facebook pages for it

I don't even have any history or trait of going to any place I'd stayed for a while and left....frm primary school to my university. My motto is "Ahead ahead"
.
I remembered when my mum stylishly tried to pass/drive through the area she birthed me and I spent early part of my life in, she noticed how I'd avoid going to that place. I had made up my mind not to go there without me driving my own car or her car which she never allow me drive. Mtcheeeew, wen she tried it ehn, the kind shout wey I shout for that car ehn..you will think she kidnapped me, I told her if she drive an inch further I Will open the door and jump out of the car. She immediately received sense and turned back
.
Na me she wan go disgrace with pimples for face and come dey drive me for car wey I suppose dey drive her go area meet those my childhood crushes wey I dey form Yankee level for. Mbanu
.
Oh sweet Mother (RIP)

hmm

secondary school reunion is one of the best!! Especially when you and your cartel are making it real big, you gotta see old time folks! Nostalgia

mazimee:
That reunion get together is the most depressing place to be if your life is bleeped up.

why even go in the first place when u know ur life is f u c k e d up

I don't go for reunions, its just a pointless get together. Ppl use it to show off.
Others use it to compare achievements
In this internet age, I'm in constant contact with those who matter to me

safarigirl:
The Heart-break Crush

So, remember the guy you were crushing on that year? The one you went out of your way to look pretty for hoping he would finally ask you out? He's made it for the reunion....with his pregnant wife cry oh the pain! The saddest thing is that he's so happy....and you're not

not necessarily, the crush rarely remains the same. it may have been easy to crush on the guy when he was young and trim, but now he's old and fat and balding

GetUmad:


See them!!


Those who used to believe they're better than you in look or whatever and become disappointed seeing what you've grown to become, seeing God's work in your life. How can a fellow human being tag the other "ugly"? That's just too extreme. What makes you think you look better? Have you given birth to one? Can you recreate just even a finger, artificially?

Why are u taking it personal na? I can feel the hot breeze u are blowing, down here.